My first murder and now I feel guilty

[smokeymccallum@yahoo.co.uk 11]

Kill or be killed...that is the name of this game... :)

It's not really though. It's just turned into that.

[Tureilim 3]

I'll just answer this with a quote.

What? What, your moral code just won't allow for that? It's too hard to cross that line?

No. God Almighty, no. It'd be too damned easy. All I've ever wanted to do is kill him. [...]But if I do that, if I allow myself to go down into that place, I'll never come back.

[Elias (DayZ) 57]

Killing is so easy.

People who just murder everybody (and like it) are IMO far less skilled. Because *not* shooting on sight...and then live to tell about it requires superiour skills. And IMO these massmurderers are also missing out on a big part of the gameplay.

I've read stories of people who started out with a 'shoot all, kill all' playstyle; but have now discovered a deeper level of gameplay. They find that letting people live gives them a deeper feeling of power, which is even better than the feeling they get from killing players at a distance. Good for them, they are the 'true bandits'.

Of course, everybody should play how they like, the game needs the bandits, murderers and survivors alike. And killing in self defence is no murder in my book. It's still good you feel guilty/bad about it, it means that you've still got human feelings.

[Catman (DayZ) 23]

First time I killed someone I was up in Rog castle on the stairs. I'd recently been killed by a player north of Cherno and as a result only had a handful of gear. It was really dark and I was waiting for my friend to log in (he was on TS already chatting). Next thing I know this flare flies in through the door way.

I hug the back of the stairs and watch I as I see this figure emerge, he looks in all the corners up the stairs with his 1911 out, my revolver is trained on him but he doesn't see me as I'm part way up a set of stairs. He decides to start heading up the stairs at which point I shot and killed him instantly.

I waited a few minutes then went down to see his corpse, he was loaded with gear, everything I'd ever need to survive out in the wilderness. I felt really guilty for shooting him for like days afterwards.

Now days I'm a cold hearted b4st4rd :( Though the other day I discovered a small spark of humanity was still there. I spawned south of Sol ran to the nearest long barn and saw a female survivor mulling about inside. Figured she'd have a weapon as she walked past an 1866 on the floor. I snuck in behind her and grabbed the rifle, I'd just got it in my hand when she turned and looked at me, was about to fire when I noticed she had no weapon! Behind me I'd dragged 3 or 4 zombies into the barn, so I turned and shot them. She freaked out and starting running around like a headless chicken... the temptation to shoot her got higher but I left her alone and shot the zombies going after her. She ran off towards Sol. Now I know what you're saying would I have done the same if it was a male character? The answer is yeah as I tend to regard that 99% of female characters online are being 'driven' by some 44 year old bald guy in his underpants :P

I'd hate for there to be a real apocalypse!

[Jurassic (DayZ) 0]

I love the fact that almost everyone remembers their first player kill! That goes for me as well, I can remember it like it happened yesterday.

It was in the middle of the night in Cherno and the moon was the only source of light. I was just minding my own business, trying to be unseen by unfriendly players and hungry zeds, while scavening for some valuable loot.

When I had gotten myself towards the centre I had reached a office building which I could enter (I had not at the time been able to recognize which buildings that were breachable).

I snuck in with my only weapon in hand, a hatchet, like a badass ninja - but I was not alone. In front of me was a wall of barbed wire which splitted the room in half, and on the other side of the room there was another survivor.

I spotted the gun in his hand and I came up with the fast conclusion that it's probably a bad thing to bring an axe to a gunfight while a wall of barbed wire separated us, so I panicked and yelled "Friendly friendly, don't shoot!" in the mic. But the survivor had yet to see me - he looked more panicked than me at the moment. So I thought this was my opportunity to sneak back out and forget about this little incident, but just when I were about to turn around he spotted me.

He had his pistol raised and aimed right at me and I just froze. He then said something in his mic, something incomprehensible. I responded with a "What?" as he started to walk towards me and climbed over the barbed wire. He now stood right next to me, still aiming at me and spoke again, I think it was russian, but from the moment I first saw him I'd had my mind already set on how to kill him before he kills me. So I didn't really think about what language it was, I just responded with lodging my axe into his face.

..and at first I were just thankful that that situation had been dealt with and that it was all over.... but then the "WTF did I just do"-feeling come over me. So yeah, I felt pretty guilty after that, I still do actually. Poor sod.

This game can really give you rushes in situations like that, you have no idea what's about to happen and everything feels hostile as f*ck. I love it!

[PixelatedBartek 8]

Well, I haven't murdered anyone yet but today someone killed me for the first time.

I'm a new player, I was sneaking around and scavenging the popular fire station with a tower (I have no idea where is it but it's popular, town with the market I guess) and after I scavenged it I went to the above market.

When I was near the fence I saw a guy with an AK running from a horde and moment later he saw me, gave me few shots from his AK to my face and I fell unconscious ... later he told me he thought I was the guy shooting him from behind but I only had a hatchet and some supplies/ammo.

He tried to drag me to the hospital but I told him I will die anyway so he left me there and took my supplies.

Now I think if he's feeling guilty or not ... heh, this game is funny.

[Brew78 27]

I love the fact that almost everyone remembers their first player kill! That goes for me as well, I can remember it like it happened yesterday.

I actually have a very short list of murders, and although I do remember the first, I didn't feel bad about it in any way. There were two of them on a hospital roof, there was one of me, I had open LoS with my AK, two shots and one of them dropped dead. Went to investigate, realized the other guy hadn't disco'ed and was probably aiming at the ladder, so I changed my mind and climbed back down. Got shot at close range multiple times by some random 3rd person while still on the ladder. Ah well, thats the circle of violence in Cherno.

The only one I really felt bad about was the most recent one. I'm on top of one of the mountains, figuring out where to go next, prone in a pine tree. I hear commotion and gunshots, start looking around, figuring I'm dead. I see a guy climbing up a tall.. radio tower(?) with zeds in tow. He's shooting them off the ladder, and my gut says that I could maybe sneak away but maybe not. And if I tried voice comms, or shooting zombies off the ladder, he'd think I was firing at him and would be shot myself. So I took three shots with the revolver, and he had time to turn around and look at me before falling over, either passed out or dead.

Due to the bullet holes, he was squirting like a sprinkler. And because of his very high altitude, it was f'ing RAINING BLOOD all over the place. It did make me feel kind of bad, not even trying to call out on direct while hiding in the tree. Knowing full well he might have friends in the area, I climbed the tower to check on the body. Took a hunting knife but he didn't really have much else that was useful to me.

Hid the body to stop the blood rain, and that that kind of glitched. He sank a few feet, then stopped. Hung in midair under the platform for awhile then plummeted to the ground, fast. Vanished on impact.

That being that, I took off and continued my trek. Pretty sure I broke my leg hopping a fence and got eaten, but its hard to say - my leg breaking ability is legendary. I should just stop using the "V" key altogether.

[deltaforce11 29]

I've been playing for about 2 weeks, I've never shot at anyone yet and don't plan to unless forced.

I had just re spawned and i was approaching a small village from the north and i saw a player coming out of the barn. I immediately hit the deck and hid in a bush. I called out over direct communication "HEY I AM FRIENDLY!!" and "DON'T SHOOT FRIENDLY". The guy walked right past me up the hill and was looking around... He spotted me and starting firing.. i heard the pinging and crackling of lee enfield rifle rounds hit the floor around me... At that point i jumped up and ran right through the village aggro-ing 2-3 zombies and out the other side to safety.

Are some people just deaf? or simple bandits :P

It was funny because i could have picked him off when he came out of the barn... Damn my GOOD NATURE!!

Edited July 13, 2012 by deltaforce11

[Beltway 4]

I was stood in a tree line scouting a village below me, I was there for a good few minutes trying to plan my scavenging mission when I heard something move to my right. I turned to find another player sneaking up to my feet prone. He held a hatchet in his hand and I immediately pulled the trigger on him without hesitation. I heard him shout 'friendly' milliseconds before I killed him.

I don't know why I had this reaction! I didn't even think. Now I am washed with guilt because I know how frustrating it can be when another player has killed you.

Did you feel guilty about your first murder?

Guilty!? Are you kidding!? My first murder was a mix of self defense and me almost crapping my pants. I'm sitting in Bereznio at the 3 story apartment buildings. I just came from the medical tents and had found a rifle sans ammo for it. All I had was a makarov and a hand grenade.

I'm standing on the balcony of the 3rd floor when I hear a loud shot, two seconds later Im flopping around on the floor like a fish with a broken leg. Then the jerk fires another shot while I try to crawl inside but it goes wide. I get inside and realize I have absolutely no morphine injections which means I am up the creek without a paddle. I hear over voice comms "If you aint dead, you're about to be." at this point I hear his foot steps on the bottom floor, when I heard the clank of the stairs I told him "Right back at you" and chucked the grenade in the stair well. 2 seconds later I got a kill and the explosion made my sound go out (concussion mayhaps). The worst part was crawling down stairs to fetch his gear, I did get morphine i needed from him too.

Guilty? No

Satisfied? Absolutely..

Edited July 13, 2012 by Beltway

[FrankFisher 46]

If he was actually friendly he would of said it when he first saw you and not keep crawling towards you

[Justin619 11]

my first murder was earlier this morning.. i was walking around gathering meat from farm animals and onward to find some matches as i had only a hatchet for a weapon. in the distance i saw a deer stand. (my first one as im kinda new) and i saw some zeds over there along with a player crouched down and i assume he was about to make his move. but the time i saw him i was fairly close so i went ahead and let him know i was near and that im friendly. i started leaving the area and i noticed he was following me. he didnt have a weapon equipped but i was wary. he got right beside me and asked me if i wanted to team up with him, i decided right now i cant afford to be splitting resources as im already in need of food and he didnt look like he could help much. i asked him not to follow and to leave as i walked away and i used my numpad to look behind me and i noticed he was crouched and following me whwile going prone every once in awhile. i decided i wont put up with this as he could have been following me waiting for me to find loot and kill me and so i turned around, chased him down, and put an axe in his face. i felt sort of bad but it was neccesary. he didnt have anything good on him anyways. i then went back to the deer stand he was originaly at and got some good food :D.

[flawlesssoul 30]

I've only been shot once while scavenging, and I never even saw who shot me. That was out at a barn along the coast, nowhere special.

I've seen others being chased by zombies, and I've tried to call out and ask if they need help, but I have no idea if my voice chat is working. Hopefully when I get to meet up with my friend, I'll be able to test it and find out.

I will, however, shoot anyone that has spotted me unless they keep their distance and don't act aggressive. If I'm startled by anyone, I'll be shooting without a second's thought.

I'm a Survivor, not a Sucker.

[OneSixZeroFive 0]

Mama.... just killed a man.... put a gun against his head... well, actually I shot him through a window. So yeah, I just committed my first murder in Elektro half an hour ago.

I was unarmed and scavenging near the fire station, I met a friendly who decided to go into the station with me. I was lucky and found a G18 in the tower. A minute or two later a guy with an AK wandered in and wasn't shooting so things were going well. For some reason my sound died out (..cat mauled the keyboard and hit the mute) so I hid in a shed near the station and closed the game to try fix it. When I rejoined the server I saw the first guy that had helped me had been killed.. and there was gunfire somewhere near me. I stood up from where I had hidden and saw Mr. AK through the window, shooting a few rounds into a players corpse. Assuming it had been my buddy from earlier, I emptied my G18 clip into him. He was bleeding and ran up the tower to hide, but then carefully climbed back down and tried to get a shot at me through the main doors of the station. I emptied a few more rounds into him and he died. I then looted both corpses and climbed onto the roof, just in time to see a horde of zombies following someone making a b-line for my station. After about 20 minutes it seemed he had scouted around and cleared off so I moved to a higher position on the roof and logged off to recall my traumatic tale.

I feel slightly guilty but I feel my actions were justified given the information I had available to me... R.I.P guy who tried to give me an axe but had it glitch out and vanish.

Edited July 14, 2012 by OneSixZeroFive

[master721 9]

I was stood in a tree line scouting a village below me, I was there for a good few minutes trying to plan my scavenging mission when I heard something move to my right. I turned to find another player sneaking up to my feet prone. He held a hatchet in his hand and I immediately pulled the trigger on him without hesitation. I heard him shout 'friendly' milliseconds before I killed him.

I don't know why I had this reaction! I didn't even think. Now I am washed with guilt because I know how frustrating it can be when another player has killed you.

Did you feel guilty about your first murder?

He obviously had jack shit gear that you can get in 5 minutes if you spawn anywhere.

[Asasaint 10]

do not feel guilty. no one is friendly in DayZ unless you know them IRL

[kik 8]

so i was reading this thread earlier tonight and it had me thinking.I have made desision to try and not be a sociapathic numbnut in this game but it is proving very difficult.Which leads me to my first story of murder in the land of the dead.

tonight i spawned in the middle of cherno...SCORE u might think now imagine being in the middle of cherno with nothing at all.So i find a makarov and 4 or 5 mags some food, drinks, compass, hunting knife, water bottle and matches.after very carefully moving to another building i find an enfield and 3 mags.deciding to not get greedy and cut my losses i head north (i know this cause now i have a compass ;) ) so i am moving along the northern treeline when all of a sudden i hear ping crack..Bugger me someones shooting at me cheeky barstard.

I zig zag like a madman i have no idea were the shots are coming from but thankfully he's a terrible shot 8-10 rounds later i make it to a tree line and relative safety.i get to pridorodky near the 3 barns and decide to stop and see if my shadow is actually following me or has given it up a a bad job.

i leave it a couple of minutes just as i am about to move on my friend pops out at the bottom of the hill about 300m away he's going towards the barns maybe he thinks i was silly enough to try and loot them.Maybe it wasn't even him at this point i wasn't asking.so i let him go into the barn and see what he does 2 minutes later he steps into the door way.Ironsights up 300m's shot 1 round and he goes down like a sack of potatos.Wish I had frapsed it tbh bloody amazing shot :lol:

Do i regret killing him? Little bit but it was clear he had every intension of taking my :beans: and :emptycan: off my cold dead body so better him then me.

i didn't enjoy doing it.Anyother game eve online, cod, bf3 etc and i would have been howling but with dayz i actually felt a bit of remorse.

So if anyone happens to run into me along the road and I yell friendly while running around waggling my shoulders I'M NOT GOING TO SHOOT U :P

As for the op u did the right thing he was after your beans mate plain and simple.

[Tureilim 3]

do not feel guilty. no one is friendly in DayZ unless you know them IRL

I'm friendly. I refuse to pull the trigger first.

[PixelatedBartek 8]

Some people shouldn't play this game ... really.

I was scavenging around some towns, managed to get some pistol, Lee Enfield and then I saw this guy with a hatchet - running from a horde.

So I ran to him, tried to keep the pace yelling on the microphone "I'm friendly, stop running, I will help you" and I started to shot the zombies.

When I've killed the infected I asked him if he's okay, I saw him bleeding and was going to bandage him but instead he swung his hatchet near me (Missing, at least...) and I had to put him down...

That was the most annoying moment that happened to me in this game - I sacrificed my whole Makarov ammunition to save him, I was offering him help, supplies etc and yet he turned hostile on me.

Sometimes I don't want to think who is behind the other character, it's just ... weird.

But overall you can meet some good people and I'm just happy when I do :)

[Robert Shannon 27]

I have not killed any player yet, I try to give the benefit of the doubt sometimes it is worth it, I found a group of people who could have taken me out no problem, there were 2 players that were in the tree line making their way to cherno, I was in fron of them, they yelled friendly, and I had to nod my gun to get the immediate reaction, if I would have shot at them, the other 3 people in the tree line would have got me.

[Sgt Abraham Ford 82]

I was running through the woods.. when my 3 year daughter started screaming Daddy Daddy!.. so i dived under a fir tree and left my PC to attend to her.. when i came back i could hear russelling very close to me... i was being followed by 3 bandits...they were searching for me.. obviously they had lost sight of me just before i dived under said tree... one of them was 5 feet from me searching.. 2 other were 100 foot or so away.. my heart was pounding. For a minute or two this bandit was about 5 feet from me.. they knew i was close.. i lost my nerve, clicked my M16 to burst and gave him two burst into his side.. he was not looking at me, I darted in the opposite direction with a hail of bullets around me... but i got away. It came up as a murder...but they were not searching for me to give me beans... :)

I ran for about 5 km with my heart in my mouth! All the way to the top of Black Mountain! My daughter saved my life!

Nice story! Avatar ain't bad either.

[Filmmaster 35]

I felt bad the first and only time I killed someone. I was traveling to elektro trying to find my friend...when I came across this guy in the woods. I shouted "Friendly, don't shoot I just want to pass by!" He started to fire his AK at me. I popped a Lee Enfield into his chest and he went down. I stood there speechless...I walked to his corpse and saw he had food and water bottles. He was trying to survive just like everyone else and was only trying to get by safely...I noticed I could check his pulse and he was fine, just knocked out from my rifle. I was scared, I knew he was gonna end up getting up and firing back at me. I had a choice, book it to elektro or kill him. I panicked and pulled out my handgun. Shot him twice in the head, ending his life. Right before I shot him I said in direct. "I'm so sorry..." I took some food and left the rest of his stuff...I figured he could find it and I'd be gone, with little to no chance of him being able to chase me down.

People don't realize, this may be a game...but it plays with your emotions...you will panic for real...you will feel guilty to no end....you will have paranoia as well. The team did a real good job of making a game that plays you just as much as you play it. I don't know if I can handle the guilt of murdering someone else myself, but my teammates are able to kill anyone like it's nothing. So I'll be in good hands.

Man, you are true! This is probably the most ingenious game, invoking human emotion. You know a bandit doesn't have any guilt, they just go around and slaughter survivors. I even feel bad when I kill a bandit man

[Numinak 10]

I don't know if I've actualy managed to kill anyone just yet.

I'd just snuck into a store (found some binocs, but not much else), stuck my head out the doorway and saw another survivor sitting there eating something. I quickly backed away and got into a corner (all I had was an axe) and yelled 'Friendly" over the chat. Next thing I know he's coming around the corner with a pistol and never said a word. I gave him four good whacks with my axe before I succumbed to the pistols gunfire. I can only hope the '* has died' message was that bastard bleeding out right after I died.

That's probably the closest I've come to killing someone so far. I just don't know if I have it in my to kill yet. I haven't lost that 'some people gotta be good' thoughts yet, though I still tend to run like a jackrabit anytime I see someone near me.

[tassianoqt 1]

My first "murder" made me feel guilty too.

At first I was angry with players that killed me but then I graddually realized that you can only trust your friends, on rare occasions you'll find someone who's actually FRIENDLY... but I stopped putting it to test after yesterday, I was approaching a farm north of elektro when I saw a player in prone position, with a rifle in his hand and some zeds around, as I approached (at the time I was out of ammo for my shotgun) he used the voice channel to ask for help, he said: "hey can you help me? I broke my leg", I told him I had no ammo but before I finished talking he tryid to shoot me, he missed, I looked behind, looking for a zed ( silly me! I thought he was shooting a zed!) and he shooted again! I heard the bulet fly near my right and started running away, he asked for help and thn tryied to kill me, then I realized somthing wasnt right! I ran in circles around me as he tried to aim at me again, once I confirmed my suspicion I simply strated running near zeds and once a I had a good mob after me I run in the players direction and then into the barn.

While hidding in the barn the zeds started to... lunch the guy... and in his dispair he asked me for help again, saying sorry and that he wouldnt try to shoot me again...

No more guilty kills, I see a player I either run or kill on sight, I will only trust my friends now, its survival and I dont like dying....

[Kay (DayZ) 8]

I felt insanely guilty after my first (and hopefully only) murder.

I had been standing in a barn in Prigorodky with two friends, examining a map and setting up an action plan for the evening. One friend suddenly dropped dead - sniper shot. We spotted a group of bandits approaching, so we naturally ran away in different directions. They murdered my remaining friend, and I fled over the hills into Vysota. Picked up a Lee Enfield & huddled in the corner of a barn waiting. Gunshots approached over the hills, very slowly approaching the barn. It was possibly the longest 20 minutes of my life, and I was crazed with fear and adrenalin when I attacked the single player who wandered into the barn shortly after. There's really nothing noble about shooting a player in the back of the head while they crouch over a loot pile, completely unaware of your presence.

Guilt instantly washed over me. I could not bring myself to take the two tins of food in her backpack. Instead I buried her, quietly and remorsefully.

[Wester162 3]

My first murder was earlier today. I'd spent a good few hours in Cherno gathering supplies, managed to get an M16A2, an M1911, insane amounts of ammo for each of them, plus all the medical supplies/survival materials I'd need for the whole game. I'd left Cherno and headed for the Balota airfields, and logged out in the ACT. I log back in, and below me is a player with an 870 flashlight. I call out "Friendly?", and he doesn't respond. I walk down the stairs, he opens fire on me (the stairs take all the shots). I had my M16 on Semi-Auto, so I spam the fire button, and put at least 10 rounds into him. Right before he died, he hit me dead center with a slug, and put me down to 4k blood. I bandage up, and another guy comes up the stairs, saying "Hey, I heard gunfire, you okay?." He then offers to give me a transfusion with one of my packs, given the situation it'd be better to trust the guy than shoot him. He pulls out a blood pack, and a blood pack only, gives me a transfusion, and goes on his merry way. If that man is reading this post, thank you so much. To the person who opened fire, I hope you learned a valuable lesson. Stairs block bullets.

To answer OP's question, I don't really feel guilty for killing him. He fired at me first, and if it hadn't been for those stairs, I'd have been dead.