The day in the life of an utter expert

[mooky32 308]

On the island of Chernaurus, there is a legend. Spoken of far and wide, but only in a whisper, for they do not wish to draw his wrath upon them. From survivor to survivor, his exploits are recounted time and again.

 

His name... is MOOKY!

 

but seriously, funny read, thanks for helping me procrastinate on my homework.

Hehe pleasure mate. I was a habitual homework dodger. I however l made up for that by being an intellectual colossus.

[mooky32 308]

Its like you're running for election.

I am for mayor of Elektro, my only competition being Itchy. We have decided to split the town in half and rule it equally - BUT WITH AN IRON FIST (I may have mentioned that earlier).

[fig0451 85]

You say there were 5 guys, but in your story a total of 7 people are killed. Did you miscount?

[broguenz 333]

I think he decided there was not enough "death and glory" so he added another two 

 

" Time for a shock, they had moved towards the tech building and another 2 of their buddies had joined the hunting party as they attempted to flush me out."

 

Fun thread 

 

 

[jamiereid_wow@hotmail.co.uk 46]

So basically a 12yr old and 13yr old where playing Dayz. Even though the 13yr old only had a total of 5 bullets and no supplies, he still elite. He referred to it as "the hill"; that's leet right? Oh i mean that's 1337 right guise? They really are the 000000.1%

 

So you killed 2 players who had no idea you were there and they wern't even facing you. Im sure the whoever gets the first hit rule had nothing to do with that.

 

And your friend killed someone in a video game by using his hands and something called a mouse? Amazing!!

 

P.S.  This community is run by 13-17 year olds. Even the mods it seems; Im sure that's a good idea. (Hey its free right)

 

P.P.S. Answer every complaint, with "its alpha".

[Itchysock 35]

Just managed to catch up on this thread and I have to say it pains me to see so much animosity to true epic legends of gaming – hi I am Itchy…

If anyone has not seen ´king of kong´ I recommend you watch it – those who have will understand the shear skill and unblemished expertise a top gamer must have, like myself and Mooky.   Our intelligence, ability to learn and memorize, cupped with our lightning hand eye coordination is not only a set of traits Nasa look for in their astronauts, but crucial to be an expert, elite,  best of the best gamer.

 

Mooky and I often feel like Steve Weibe, genuinely good looking people, experts in everything we do, family men with beautiful wife´s (non kids yet though) and unfortunately victimised by fellow gamers jealous of our abilities in life and in game….

 

All mooky was doing was sharing a story with fellow dayz players, like Jesus sharing stories to fellow fishermen, giving them hope and inspiration for a better catch.

 

I take my hats (yes I have a few and am a true expert on hats) off to all those that took inspiration in mookys story and our shear dominance of electra.  I hope the rest can overcome their addiction of the bitter pill of resentment, and to be honest I think they are the few.  Mooky and I over the years have brought fellow gamers from all walks of life together , vaporizing the stale odour of resentment, like the great Nelson Mandela did in South Africa.

 

Our prowess in gaming from our early days on the ZX spectrum, c64 and Amiga, through to modern day genuinely go unmatched and we are not ones to boast, but share our accomplishments with our gaming brothers and sisters.  Peace and nothing is impossible. (well for Mooky and I).

[Itchysock 35]

On the island of Chernaurus, there is a legend. Spoken of far and wide, but only in a whisper, for they do not wish to draw his wrath upon them. From survivor to survivor, his exploits are recounted time and again.

 

His name... is MOOKY!

 

but seriously, funny read, thanks for helping me procrastinate on my homework.

 

eh please include ichy in that  - An expert in the most complete form.....

[Itchysock 35]

So you are saying, that the only reason you are surviving is because of noobs.

LMFAO That is just laughable.

 

That headshot thing, is impossible during the current state of the game.  People have managed to get shots beyond 2 km.  Compared to 1 km, just pitiful for a "special" operative.

 

Your anger matches that of a bear being woken from his deep winter sleep, just bask in the stories of experts and please tell your own as well - its not an argurment - peace brother....

[Wukey88 9]

the ego boys are back where is itchycock?

[Wukey88 9]

these guys make me laugh so much i look forward to there threads now

[Itchysock 35]

So basically a 12yr old and 13yr old where playing Dayz. Even though the 13yr old only had a total of 5 bullets and no supplies, he still elite. He referred to it as "the hill"; that's leet right? Oh i mean that's 1337 right guise? They really are the 000000.1%

 

So you killed 2 players who had no idea you were there and they wern't even facing you. Im sure the whoever gets the first hit rule had nothing to do with that.

 

And your friend killed someone in a video game by using his hands and something called a mouse? Amazing!!

 

P.S.  This community is run by 13-17 year olds. Even the mods it seems; Im sure that's a good idea. (Hey its free right)

 

P.P.S. Answer every complaint, with "its alpha".

 

Maybe take a deep breath and read how the battle played out again and you will see children would not be capable of such a task– re read the factual story as if it´s a teacher giving you important information to guide you, and if you find yourself in a similar situation you will then think of mooky and ichy and survive…

Edited January 9, 2014 by Itchycock

[Wukey88 9]

haha these guys are defo wannabe the next "athene" of DayZ - keep trying i love it x

[Hvesta 2]

If I want to read some cool SF story I would read a book.

[Bunk_3r 3]

VIDEO or it DIDNT HAPPEN :D :D :D :D :D       

[mooky32 308]

Just managed to catch up on this thread and I have to say it pains me to see so much animosity to true epic legends of gaming – hi I am Itchy…

If anyone has not seen ´king of kong´ I recommend you watch it – those who have will understand the shear skill and unblemished expertise a top gamer must have, like myself and Mooky.   Our intelligence, ability to learn and memorize, cupped with our lightning hand eye coordination is not only a set of traits Nasa look for in their astronauts, but crucial to be an expert, elite,  best of the best gamer.

 

Mooky and I often feel like Steve Weibe, genuinely good looking people, experts in everything we do, family men with beautiful wife´s (non kids yet though) and unfortunately victimised by fellow gamers jealous of our abilities in life and in game….

 

All mooky was doing was sharing a story with fellow dayz players, like Jesus sharing stories to fellow fishermen, giving them hope and inspiration for a better catch.

 

I take my hats (yes I have a few and am a true expert on hats) off to all those that took inspiration in mookys story and our shear dominance of electra.  I hope the rest can overcome their addiction of the bitter pill of resentment, and to be honest I think they are the few.  Mooky and I over the years have brought fellow gamers from all walks of life together , vaporizing the stale odour of resentment, like the great Nelson Mandela did in South Africa.

 

Our prowess in gaming from our early days on the ZX spectrum, c64 and Amiga, through to modern day genuinely go unmatched and we are not ones to boast, but share our accomplishments with our gaming brothers and sisters.  Peace and nothing is impossible. (well for Mooky and I).

 

Wise words from a towering giant of expertism. The words of wisdom Itchy and I try to preach take the form of lessons for our fellow Dayz players and should not be viewed as the boastful exploits of lesser mortals who desperately seek attention in order to manage a delicate ego.

No these are attempts to bond with our fellow players through paragons of example, instilling valuable expert commentary that in gaming terms is the equivalency of the discovery of penicillin or atomic power within the world of science.

 

Certain people will "get it" and basically feed off this source of deep wisdom and they will be far better of for it. There is the possibility for them to stand on the shoulders of giants and attain what to them may seem the impossible (basic trainning for Itchy and I).

 

I reach out my hands to my fan base and say , "Come with me, take a journey. You may just be suprised how far you will go"

 

I am ready to take new enquiries today after a refreshing sleep. I am an expert at sleeping and always manage to get exactly the right amount with the correct ambient room temperature and other environmental variables tightly controlled through a comprehensive knowledge of the science of sleep.

[rickenbacker 190]

Cute. You'll notice, though, that the number of enemies goes from five to seven halfway through.

[The_Man 393]

True or not, the guy knows how to write a story. 

 

Beans for the entertainment. 

[soulfirez 901]

hmmm expert=xspert x being an unknown quantity and spert is a drip under pressure.

[mooky32 308]

Cute. You'll notice, though, that the number of enemies goes from five to seven halfway through.

 

Oh my my! You are obviously not an expert in reading like me but please review the statement.

 

In the supermarket and surrounds there were originally five. After my double kill there were 3 and I began to flank them. They fanned out to flush me out from my position and as a result I ended up almost behind them.

 

I had a one sided exchange in the alley where I killed one of the search party. I then stepped out on to the street and there were 4. Yes as  I clearly stated they had 2 additional mates that I imagine were positioned behind the supermarket at the area I could not view (even I can't see through walls).

 

Of the 4 I saw one was nearer the tech building and outside of the circle of main threats. That's why I quite modestly state it was more like a 6 v 1 epic ramage of destruction as oppossed to a 7-1. I felt it untruthful to include the far away team member as a direct threat - AT THAT SECOND.

 

He later managed to tail me , where Itchy comes into the story and ended him with a sniper shot that would have brought tears to a glass eye.

 

Its not difficult to follow buddy, peace go with you

[paulusrojo 25]

Cute story! Reminds me of a toddler version of the true legend. McPaulus. I'm named after another legend; McGyver, and much like him, I think guns are for weaklings who does not have the upper body strength for melee weapons. When have you ever heard of a Fireaxe "clicking" or running out of ammo?

 

So I was hunting bandit noobs at the NWAF the other day. Sporting my mullet and a pair of aviator glasses as usual. Helmets ruins my hair, so no need for that shit. Backpacks are also for weaklings. I'm not hiking, I'm winning!

The airfield was filled with server hoppers, ghosters and combat loggers. Just the targets I was looking for! So I'm chilling in one of the barracks, when I hear some shooting outside. A group of 5 fully geared mofos was shooting at this hot curly haired girl. Not on my server! I skillfully created a diversion using my knife and a portable lamp. 3 of the guys go check it out, while the 2 others are overlooking the area. I sneak up on the two, and hack them to pieces with my fireaxe. 1 hit, two kills! I obviously hacked into the Teamspeak database, and could hear their crying voices. It was like music for my soul.

 

The 3 noobs that had fallen for my masterfully planned diversion, heads back to their fallen friends. I smelled through the TS channel that at least 2 of them had soiled themselves. That smell still comes me in my sweet dreams. But this time they were not close enough for me to take them all out with one swing. So I sneak my way behind them, and attack the guy in the back. I have studied neuroscience for a couple of weeks, so I have a PHD in it. This knowledge gives me an idea, and I plant my axe in the motion center of the brain of the guy, and twitch the axe a little bit, so even if he's dead, he shot his 2 friends. In the head. With the same bullet!

 

The girl they were shooting at had lost almost all of her blood, but I kissed her on her lips, and she was fine again. We found our blind friend fat Pete and went for another adventure!

[mooky32 308]

If I want to read some cool SF story I would read a book.

No need for books friend, come to "the hill" and Itchy and I will give you a sample of distilled excellence in the shape of two mortal men. You will then be sent to Elektro as our very own "special investigator". This will involve touring the streets in a pre-ordained fashion , issuing warnings to tresspassers that the brotherhood of skill will be displeased should they linger within city limits.

[Itchysock 35]

Cute story! Reminds me of a toddler version of the true legend. McPaulus. I'm named after another legend; McGyver, and much like him, I think guns are for weaklings who does not have the upper body strength for melee weapons. When have you ever heard of a Fireaxe "clicking" or running out of ammo?

 

So I was hunting bandit noobs at the NWAF the other day. Sporting my mullet and a pair of aviator glasses as usual. Helmets ruins my hair, so no need for that shit. Backpacks are also for weaklings. I'm not hiking, I'm winning!

The airfield was filled with server hoppers, ghosters and combat loggers. Just the targets I was looking for! So I'm chilling in one of the barracks, when I hear some shooting outside. A group of 5 fully geared mofos was shooting at this hot curly haired girl. Not on my server! I skillfully created a diversion using my knife and a portable lamp. 3 of the guys go check it out, while the 2 others are overlooking the area. I sneak up on the two, and hack them to pieces with my fireaxe. 1 hit, two kills! I obviously hacked into the Teamspeak database, and could hear their crying voices. It was like music for my soul.

 

The 3 noobs that had fallen for my masterfully planned diversion, heads back to their fallen friends. I smelled through the TS channel that at least 2 of them had soiled themselves. That smell still comes me in my sweet dreams. But this time they were not close enough for me to take them all out with one swing. So I sneak my way behind them, and attack the guy in the back. I have studied neuroscience for a couple of weeks, so I have a PHD in it. This knowledge gives me an idea, and I plant my axe in the motion center of the brain of the guy, and twitch the axe a little bit, so even if he's dead, he shot his 2 friends. In the head. With the same bullet!

 

The girl they were shooting at had lost almost all of her blood, but I kissed her on her lips, and she was fine again. We found our blind friend fat Pete and went for another adventure!

 

Interesting story and a kill by an axe takes a different skill set to one with a gun, fortunately we have both and use both frequently.  There are no weaklings here, and there is no weakness in choice of weapon, is a fighter pilot, tank commander any weaker or less at risk than a naval captain or visa versa? 

Treat the battle and your enemy with respect and you will start to feel the true power of an expert.  I will take your word on your victory and only say congratulations and god speed in further adventures, although some of the background plot seems a little out of dayz character and more likely to be found in Petes Dragon. Keep up the good work and following us and you can pay homage any time.

[Alex88 (DayZ) 1]

Don't feed the troll?  :emptycan:

[Redwolf (DayZ) 125]

having a hard time reading the text behind that huge ass

EGO

 

 

In any case. Entertaining story! I actually got a bit excited.

[paulusrojo 25]

Interesting story and a kill by an axe takes a different skill set to one with a gun, fortunately we have both and use both frequently.  There are no weaklings here, and there is no weakness in choice of weapon, is a fighter pilot, tank commander any weaker or less at risk than a naval captain or visa versa? 

Treat the battle and your enemy with respect and you will start to feel the true power of an expert.  I will take your word on your victory and only say congratulations and god speed in further adventures, although some of the background plot seems a little out of dayz character and more likely to be found in Petes Dragon. Keep up the good work and following us and you can pay homage any time.

What does a tank commander, a fighter pilot and a naval captain have in common?

 

They're all weak compared to ME!

 

I find you doubting my story a little disturbing, so I'm going to link the video of it:

 

 

Actually the recording was deemed to "awesome" for youtube, so I found another youtube clips. It's more or less how the deal went down!