The day in the life of an utter expert

[Itchysock 35]

Don't feed the troll?  :emptycan:

 

Excuse we are having a mature conversation and sharing our expert opinion and exploits in dayz, its not trolling as we are not offending anyone and don’t intend to, people seem offended by the very fact we are masters of dayz – as mooky pointed out we merely seek to pass on some of our knowledge to better the ability of others yet to realize their potential – we call you our children and we are your fathers, and we embrace you fellow survivors as such…..in game it is a different story of course, never the less we are not with out merci…….

[mooky32 308]

Cute story! Reminds me of a toddler version of the true legend. McPaulus. I'm named after another legend; McGyver, and much like him, I think guns are for weaklings who does not have the upper body strength for melee weapons. When have you ever heard of a Fireaxe "clicking" or running out of ammo?

 

So I was hunting bandit noobs at the NWAF the other day. Sporting my mullet and a pair of aviator glasses as usual. Helmets ruins my hair, so no need for that shit. Backpacks are also for weaklings. I'm not hiking, I'm winning!

The airfield was filled with server hoppers, ghosters and combat loggers. Just the targets I was looking for! So I'm chilling in one of the barracks, when I hear some shooting outside. A group of 5 fully geared mofos was shooting at this hot curly haired girl. Not on my server! I skillfully created a diversion using my knife and a portable lamp. 3 of the guys go check it out, while the 2 others are overlooking the area. I sneak up on the two, and hack them to pieces with my fireaxe. 1 hit, two kills! I obviously hacked into the Teamspeak database, and could hear their crying voices. It was like music for my soul.

 

The 3 noobs that had fallen for my masterfully planned diversion, heads back to their fallen friends. I smelled through the TS channel that at least 2 of them had soiled themselves. That smell still comes me in my sweet dreams. But this time they were not close enough for me to take them all out with one swing. So I sneak my way behind them, and attack the guy in the back. I have studied neuroscience for a couple of weeks, so I have a PHD in it. This knowledge gives me an idea, and I plant my axe in the motion center of the brain of the guy, and twitch the axe a little bit, so even if he's dead, he shot his 2 friends. In the head. With the same bullet!

 

The girl they were shooting at had lost almost all of her blood, but I kissed her on her lips, and she was fine again. We found our blind friend fat Pete and went for another adventure!

 

I appreciate your effort at telling a tale and it sounds like a bit of fun. It is however you realise a side show compared to the combat masterclass I skillfully described in my after action report. I am pretty modest by nature and your story does sound a tad boastful, though the action described is pretty tame.

 

I would remind you I am an expert in all forms of armed combat in Dayz. This happened to be a ranged engagement, the next may not. 

Itchy and I would consider you for entry into our mentor program at level 4 (of 100). Peace be with you brother.

[Itchysock 35]

What does a tank commander, a fighter pilot and a naval captain have in common?

 

They're all weak compared to ME!

 

I find you doubting my story a little disturbing, so I'm going to link the video of it:

 

 

Actually the recording was deemed to "awesome" for youtube, so I found another youtube clips. It's more or less how the deal went down!

 

with respect i never doubted it, in fact congratulated you on it.  I just doubted some of the grandeur and romance around it - neverthe less liked the content...

[Mopp_94 29]

This again. Are these bitches serious? 

[Itchysock 35]

This again. Are these bitches serious? 

 

If you hadn’t been following, we are deadly serious…thanks for following, I preverbal touch you on the head..

[mooky32 308]

This again. Are these bitches serious? 

 

That's a little bit rude, hopefully you are not referring to our efforts to speak words of truth with a confidence that seems to offend some (and inspire others , as has been seen).

The common method of self-deprication is not our way. Why lie about things and rob the readership of actual accounts of bravery and skill beyond even the wildest imaginings of mortals?

No sir we wont and as for this "troll" talk , guys its rubbish. This is a conversational fun thread where I welcome my children with open arms and tales of sheer skill that leave their mouth gaping and their minds literally blown!

[TEST_SUBJECT_83 465]

LOL! This thread is awesome!

The story was great!

It was entertaining and his ego only makes it funnier.

Some people need to lighten up.

Whats the point of getting upset?

[archone88 29]

I actually dont give a horse poop, about this is real or fake. Its entertainment at high level, and Ive read all the posts this far in this thread.

 

And I love it! 

Especially Master mooky's responses to the less skillfully players, are purely amusing!!

 

 

Ill take my hat off and bow before you masters of dayz!

[mooky32 308]

LOL! This thread is awesome!

The story was great!

It was entertaining and his ego only makes it funnier.

Some people need to lighten up.

Whats the point of getting upset?

This test subject has passed muster and is welcome on "the hill" any time to partake in a personal helping of my encyclopedic knowledge.

[zeroy 240]

Cookies all around for the OP and Itchy. Next?

[Mos1ey 6301]

'DayZ masters' on Elektro hill. Almost had me... :rolleyes:

[mooky32 308]

I actually dont give a horse poop, about this is real or fake. Its entertainment at high level, and Ive read all the posts this far in this thread.

 

And I love it! 

Especially Master mooky's responses to the less skillfully players, are purely amusing!!

 

 

Ill take my hat off and bow before you masters of dayz!

 

Many thanks brother. The story as you say, though expertly told, is in fact true. Its more hard hitting than getting punched by Mike Tyson whilst he accelerates towards you at the speed of light equipped with atomic powered boxing gloves, but in that awe the kernel of truth is outted. Peace be with you.

[razgriz93@gmail.com 228]

Please. Enough of this shit.

[Konna 149]

1v1 elktro pls. fite me.

[wild_man 4442]

I enjoy topic for read :rolleyes:

 

OP was funny but is not serious thing only fun joke :)

 

best is page 2 forums story master LeeHarveyEnfield make cameo and look for fight is nice bonus :D

 

7/10 was funny but I don't read again ;)

[mooky32 308]

Please. Enough of this shit.

 

Don't read it and move on child. Never get upset by your betters and their explanations of events that leave your jaw on the floor with sheer unadulterated wonderment. This passive aggressive stance if it was meant to get my attention  has done so. Now go in peace and think about your manners.

[mooky32 308]

1v1 elktro pls. fite me.

 

I accept your challenge to a spelling contest.

[razgriz93@gmail.com 228]

Don't read it and move on child. Never get upset by your betters and their explanations of events that leave your jaw on the floor with sheer unadulterated wonderment. This passive aggressive stance if it was meant to get my attention has done so. Now go in peace and think about your manners.

Talking about epeen.

[mooky32 308]

I enjoy topic for read :rolleyes:

 

OP was funny but is not serious thing only fun joke :)

 

best is page 2 forums story master LeeHarveyEnfield make cameo and look for fight is nice bonus :D

 

7/10 was funny but I don't read again ;)

 

I enjoy adding humour to the posts friend but the nature and original concept of the post which was aimed at sharing my combat prowess , is and always will be completely serious.

[Itchysock 35]

Talking about epeen.

 

Your computer vocabulary has the equivalent effect Stephen Hawking would have on a rugby field….please do not disrespect masters of dayz in this way, and learn from us.

[belphegor_goatzombie 100]

...

 

"Sorry I was eating and had to take that shot with my left hand" comes the welcome voice of Itchy.

 

Couldn't believe it, he had exectuted an 800m shot left handed whilst eating a chicken tikka Pizza.

...

 

Great story, laughed so hard i couldn't breathe. :lol: 

[razgriz93@gmail.com 228]

Your computer vocabulary has the equivalent effect Stephen Hawking would have on a rugby field….please do not disrespect masters of dayz in this way, and learn from us.

Define computer vocabulary.

[Itchysock 35]

I enjoy adding humour to the posts friend but the nature and original concept of the post which was aimed at sharing my combat prowess , is and always will be completely serious.

 

Agreed my friend – we do add humour and only an amateur would confuse the true nature of the content as some sort of fable…..we would not want to appear to big headed by only being serious and stating facts, we dilute the content to a level that will not intimidate a mere mortal gamer…it helps them take stock and learn from us if they can look beneath the comic genius…

[faramon 66]

Mooky is the best troll and for a long time Space milk was the best feeder. xD

 

Great story and great forum play truly a master of trolling.

[Itchysock 35]

Define computer vocabulary.

 

 

Like any vocabulary there is a slang element to it – so I Will define that….. using the definitions you have (epeen)is generally because the capacity to engage in a normal conversation is as limited as the use of rotten apple in dayz …now go in peace brother and try and find a fresh banana….