The day in the life of an utter expert

[mooky32 308]

A true story that will be of interest to the top 000000.1% of Dayz players. Basically the elite, read on friends.

 

Was hanging around Elektro with Itchy on "the hill". I decided to go and do some shopping in town whilst Itchy kept overwatch on our town.

 

I was really low on supplies, a mere single shot left in my mosin and 4 shots in my pistol.

Thought I would scout out a couple of 20 packs of 7.62 and then get back to dominating our town and basically keeping it under the rule of an iron first.

 

Then I saw them, a group of 5 fairly well kitted survivors armed with a combination of mosins and pistols. They were hanging about the supermarket , 3 checked inside and 2 others covered the outside. I was across the street second floor, taking this all in and calculating the odds.

 

"Need any help?" asked Itchy over comms.

 

"Nah I got this" I replied and shouldered my Mosin.

 

First shot was an absolute classic even by my standards. Two of the band were kneeling inside the supermarket gearing up and I scoped the first in line and fired. Headshot - natch - but I can confirm single bullet double player kill is possible - 2 DOWN with a single shot.

 

The place erupted, the one chap left in the supermarket sprinting out firing wildly, the 2 muppets on cover duty also shooting at ghosts!

 

I slipped out of the rear entrance of my building and kept low, using my comprehensive expert knowledge of every inch of Elektro to loop around the remaining 3 invaders of my city.

 

I edged by the church and approached the supermarket via a side street. One of the invaders sprinted through the alley, as suprised to see me as I him. My razor reactions kicked in and I slotted him via a clean single pistol shot to the head.

 

Busted , I thought , the last 2 idiots will be on me shortly. 3 pistol shots left and hell to pay.

 

Sod it! I ran straight out on the main road, death or glory! Time for a shock, they had moved towards the tech building and another 2 of their buddies had joined the hunting party as they attempted to flush me out.

 

I hit voice comms (please post a response if you were part of this shoot-out as you will recognise what I said!):

 

"Hey nut sacks, I am offering a 2 for 1 on headshots"

 

I opened up as they spun in my direction. I executed 3 headshots with the precision of an SAS trained hand gun expert who had been using a time machine to hone his skills over a millenia.

 

The 4th guy ducked in cover by the tech building and shouted back

 

"Jesus H Christ, you are the living enbodiment of John Rambo"

 

Even I had a chuckle at that and had to agree.

 

Bingo ammo though and it wasnt looking good even for a player of my ability.

 

Back to the hill I thought, maybe Itchy can spare me a fee rounds to finish up this tea party.

 

I break for cover and hit the hill - shit on a stick - the survivor is behind me and he is steadying up for some pistol punishment on the sprinting deity.

 

A single shot rings out, I prepared for blackness..... it never comes. Behind me I see my pursuer dead, courtesy of a precise head shot.

 

"Sorry I was eating and had to take that shot with my left hand" comes the welcome voice of Itchy.

 

Couldn't believe it, he had exectuted an 800m shot left handed whilst eating a chicken tikka Pizza.

 

I thanked him and told him of my adventures. He was mildy impressed with the double kill but not overly excited. This level of play has come to be the standard for the Elektro masters.

Edited January 9, 2014 by mooky32

[meat pie 632]

This one time I took cover from a sniper behind a cow,MAN I am *Such* a rock star.

 

Also for how "elite" the op says he is,he cant even come close to making me worry about anyone ever coming close to showing me some competition.

 

but was there ever any doubt?

 

These are like my story's but with zero irony

Edited January 8, 2014 by meat pie

[Timmymachine109 (DayZ) 235]

Ego much :P

[Gerandar 212]

What a boring story, being impressed by a left handed shot on a PC game....lulz

[Loafy 46]

Your city eh. May I ask what server you play on.

[acid574 98]

Well, congratz, you seem to have no life! Remember, it's a game, not some kind of a lifestyle.

[mooky32 308]

What a boring story, being impressed by a left handed shot on a PC game....lulz

 

 

 

Well, congratz, you seem to have no life! Remember, it's a game, not some kind of a lifestyle.

 

 

Please lets concentrate on me and this story which is amazing. Lets not over analyse it , just sort of bask in it and be happy for your fellow player.

[eleventhavenue 204]

I don't get why people sound so hateful on this fellow!

He himself states that only one in every ten million of all DayZ players would be interested in this story, and he is truly correct about that.

[mooky32 308]

I don't get why people sound so hateful on this fellow!

He himself states that only one in every ten million of all DayZ players would be interested in this story, and he is truly correct about that.

 

Please lets stick to questions about my exploits, trolling is cruel and could be hurtful to some viewers who are not men of the world like me.

[eleventhavenue 204]

Please lets stick to questions about my exploits, trolling is cruel and could be hurtful to some viewers who are not men of the world like me.

 

Please! In no way did I attempt to provoke you into turning this into an unmannerly discussion.

I just noted the apparent problems of teaching the humble world your ways when only approximately 0,0889 persons care.

[RelativeBlue 53]

Reminds me of the time I shot a zombie and two more zombies came.

I shot them too.

[mooky32 308]

Please! In no way did I attempt to provoke you into turning this into an unmannerly discussion.

I just noted the apparent problems of teaching the humble world your ways when only approximately 0,0889 persons care.

 

As a modest man I accept your apology, go in peace son.

 

Reminds me of the time I shot a zombie and two more zombies came.

I shot them too.

 

No sorry friend it was nothing like your zombie related incident. My story involved a near super human effort of skill, cunning and intestinal fortitude, resulting in an epiphany for my opponents when they realised their encounter with greatness.

Edited January 10, 2014 by mooky32

[eleventhavenue 204]

If I may bask in your glory for a moment, I must tell you of my own exploits;

 

I killed a guy in the Cherno fire station.

I recall, clear as if it was yesterday...

He died. It was sad for him. Then his friend killed me. That was sad for me.

But, for just a moment, I felt the glory, the true glory of killing another player. It felt remarkably a lot like shooting someone in a video game.

 

It did require a lot of skill, though. For example, I had to point my mouse at the player. And I also had to camp the firestation until they walked out of it. Very hard. I wanted a snack! The apocalypse is truly a horrible place. Needs more snacks.

[Space Milk 195]

If this was a story that would only be interesting to the top percent of players, then it would be a stupid decision to post it here. You should have just sent it to these other top players.

[Bakercompany86 347]

[mooky32 308]

If I may bask in your glory for a moment, I must tell you of my own exploits;

 

I killed a guy in the Cherno fire station.

I recall, clear as if it was yesterday...

He died. It was sad for him. Then his friend killed me. That was sad for me.

But, for just a moment, I felt the glory, the true glory of killing another player. It felt remarkably a lot like shooting someone in a video game.

 

It did require a lot of skill, though. For example, I had to point my mouse at the player. And I also had to camp the firestation until they walked out of it. Very hard. I wanted a snack! The apocalypse is truly a horrible place. Needs more snacks.

 

My I detect some sarcasm there my friend. Shooting 1 player via camping is indeed rather dull and not worthy of our attention. Taking on an armed gang outnumbered 6-1, leave that to me. Thanks for your input though, all comments welcome

[DevilDog (DayZ) 455]

This story would have kicked ass if you just typed it up instead of typing while you gave yourself a reach around. Check the ego at the door next time playboy, bragging is dumb, especially when you provide no video or photo's. :thumbsup:

[eleventhavenue 204]

If this was a story that would only be interesting to the top percent of players, then it would be a stupid decision to post it here. You should have just sent it to these other top players.

 

Excuse me for this correction, but this is infact of great interested to the top 0,0000001% of players, about 0,889 of them. You should not underestimate the efffect that nine tenths of a person can have on the community.

You have, I believe, heard of the glorious OP's exploits? Yes?

 

Edit for OP: Surely you must have miswritten your reply to me. We all know about how glorious and honorable camping is.

Edited January 8, 2014 by EleventhAvenue

[Bakercompany86 347]

Think he meant "a day in the life of an udder expert"

 

[mooky32 308]

This story would have kicked ass if you just typed it up instead of typing while you gave yourself a reach around. Check the ego at the door next time playboy, bragging is dumb, especially when you provide no video or photo's. :thumbsup:

DD please, I sincerely wish I had got this video down but I am too game focused and don't really care about spreading my fame through this medium. Hopefully members of the group I executed will come forth and confirm this action. I f they do not , rest assured this was how it went down.

 

Also stating levels of excellence honestly and openly is sharing facts. I don't like to dress down the engagement with false modesty as I feel the forum readers deserve more.

[Space Milk 195]

DD please, I sincerely wish I had got this video down but I am too game focused and don't really care about spreading my fame through this medium. Hopefully members of the group I executed will come forth and confirm this action. I f they do not , rest assured this was how it went down.

 

Also stating levels of excellence honestly and openly is sharing facts. I don't like to dress down the engagement with false modesty as I feel the forum readers deserve more.

Holy shit, do you even have a boyfriend?

[mooky32 308]

Think he meant "a day in the life of an udder expert"

 

 

No I can confirm its was UTTER EXPERT. I would inform you as pictured , udders are in relation to cows. I don't know how you confused those two words.

[mooky32 308]

Holy shit, do you even have a boyfriend?

 

This will be equally uncomfortable for you to read friend, I am a married man. My wife was an aspiring model in her youth but she has now looked after by her adoring husband and only has to worry about her next vacation. Gaming is fun but looked to your loved ones for the real inspiration of life. Sure I can dominate a computer game but hey - its just a game. Peace to you my friend.

[Matej (DayZ) 71]

Well , this require chernorussian outro :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wPjzR0Z8f4

[Laitis (DayZ) 9]

Doesn't bring enough ammo to kill hordes of noobs and decides to camp Elektro? Story sounds pretty pleb tier to me bro. Keep trying though.