cmeng12@jcu.edu 15 Posted May 1, 2015 (edited) I had just gotten home from my usual Thursday Night tennis league. Exhausted, I reached for a beer before sitting down at my computer and loading into DayZ for a quick session from 11:30 - 12:00 midnight EST. I log in and head to an empty high ping, somewhere-in-the-ex-USSR-bloc server, because everyone knows the more obscure, crappy servers are the most likely to have not been looted yet at Vybor. In my exhausted state, I only prayed to the PSO God twice instead of three times for one to be under a double-bed. To my surprise, you, another fine ex-USSR-bloc individual were logging in at the exact same time I was, and almost exactly three feet in front of me. As you stared at your shoes, unresponsive, waiting for what I can only imagine to be his "Please Wait" screen to finish loading, I quickly changed my diaper and cleaned up all of the shit off of my walls from being scared crapless. Upon completion of said cleaning, I did a one pass around you and noticed that you had a silenced AK101 with PSO scope in his hands. I thanked my Dear Leader, the PSO God himself, and proceeded to dump a magazine one round at a time into you, the fine ex-USSR-bloc individual, who, seemingly didn't mind me doing so until thirty seconds later when you finally came into game. Upon falling to the ground, I managed to grab your gun and everything of value off of your body. While I am slightly apologetic towards my method of acquisition, I feel as if it is simply destiny and my devotion to the PSO God that you brought me the one item that has been alluding me for the prior few weeks. I noticed you logged out, then logged back in. I do apologize for heading out in a hurry - I promise it was more due to my exhaustion and need for sleep before another riveting work day rather than me not wanting to be there when you got back. If we ever see each other again, I'd love it if you could smother my body in beans and peaches while I beat your behind with an invisible zucchini. What do you say? Sound like fun? I'll miss you, my dear ex-USSR-bloc individual Edited May 1, 2015 by coltonmeng 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BCBasher 2465 Posted May 1, 2015 (edited) If you could only read one post this year I recommend this one. A riveting tale from beginning to end, I laughed cried and every emotion in between. Five stars and three thumbs up. Edited May 1, 2015 by BCBasher Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
surf_polar 110 Posted May 1, 2015 Why do people ALWAYS assume that their victim/their wrongdoer will somehow read this post? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cmeng12@jcu.edu 15 Posted May 1, 2015 (edited) Why do people ALWAYS assume that their victim/their wrongdoer will somehow read this post? Why do people shit post instead of taking what's supposed to be a funny story as a funny story? Obviously you've never read the Craigslist Missed Connections section for S&G. :lol: Edited May 1, 2015 by coltonmeng Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Grimey Rick 3417 Posted May 1, 2015 You're playing the game how it's meant to be played, I see. /facepalmAt this point they should start selling single slot servers. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BeefBacon 1185 Posted May 1, 2015 (edited) The moral is don't server hop, else someone else might server hop your server hop. Edited May 1, 2015 by BeefBacon 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cmeng12@jcu.edu 15 Posted May 1, 2015 You're playing the game how it's meant to be played, I see. /facepalmAt this point they should start selling single slot servers. Everyone is either a "play the game MY way" individual, or a "no one can tell me how to play MY game!" individual, it seems. Why can't people take a story for a story, and instead turn it into a political discussion on the discourse of alpha? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
surf_polar 110 Posted May 1, 2015 I am not dissing the story itself, aside being a server hopping individual from how it sounds it was decently written. I just question the intention, like, how is the victim ever supposed to find out? Why adress it to him/her? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Caboose187 (DayZ) 3036 Posted May 1, 2015 I am not dissing the story itself, aside being a server hopping individual from how it sounds it was decently written. I just question the intention, like, how is the victim ever supposed to find out? Why adress it to him/her?Because the victim could be a forum poster Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IReadTheAgreement 313 Posted May 2, 2015 You're playing the game how it's meant to be played, I see. /facepalmAt this point they should start selling single slot servers. Do you know how much that would hamper my looting? Camping the hill by Vybor military base on low pop servers and sniping hoppers is my main go to for high end loot. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nicko2580 398 Posted May 2, 2015 Do you know how much that would hamper my looting? Camping the hill by Vybor military base on low pop servers and sniping hoppers is my main go to for high end loot.What a coincidence! Stealthing the snipers on veresnik who are sniping the hoppers in Vybor is my main go to for high end loot!It's the ciiiiiircle of liiiiiiiiife! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Whyherro123 2283 Posted May 2, 2015 What a coincidence! Stealthing the snipers on veresnik who are sniping the hoppers in Vybor is my main go to for high end loot!It's the ciiiiiircle of liiiiiiiiife! Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pale1776 375 Posted May 2, 2015 The moral is don't server hop, else someone else might server hop your server hop.Yo dawg I heard you liked to server hop so I hopped yo server while you server hopped my server hop Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
igor-vk 909 Posted May 2, 2015 Too lazy to log out behind wall or bush, he deserved to die. Too bad you didn't hand cuff him. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
