Competition: Best DAYZ joke will be put onto a one-off hoodie and given to the winner

[Hetstaine 10852]

1. [ Danny] Please don't kill the guy in Cherno :)

 

 Danny was killed.

 

 

 

2. Combat loggers live longer ! 

 

 

 

3. 

 

 

4. In Chernarus...door opens you.

 

5. Marathon runners got nothing on Chernarus survivors.

 

6. Three tyres, one engine, four jerry canz, an Enfield and some Beanz..how about your survival plans bitches ?

[DAYZ Store 33]

Statik - Post them here please.

 

colekern - great idea, anyone else who wants to signify a picture with your joke or you have a funny picture or something that is cool about DAYZ, post it up, they'll be entered too.

 

Great jokes!

[mzltv 2281]

I woke on the beach, by the rocks.

Saw infection, as widespread as pox.

Saw Hetstaine and Steak.

Mutually masturbate.

Whilst eating from a bag of cocks.

 

edit: for the record, I'm sure Hetstaine and Steak is more bromance than sexual.

Edited August 16, 2013 by mzltv

[DAYZ Store 33]

I'd rather bump into a bunch of stoners in a dark alleyway than a bunch of geezers off their tits on Stella.

The most the stoners are gonna do is steal my twix and marathon bars.

 

I love this one!

Edited August 16, 2013 by DAYZ Store

[mzltv 2281]

You've got Orlok to thank for that one!

[OrLoK 16182]

*nom nom nom*

[rabidgerbil 80]

"Any friendlies up near NWAF?"

 

Player1: need a lift?

Player1 was killed

 

"Beware the stairs"

[boneboys 7988]

Don't do jokes but...

Picture of the female character on the Front, text on the back please.

 

I met a girl named Alice_Packs.
She likes climbing chimney stacks.
Sneaks about, looks around.
Then throws a flare upon the ground.
If in town, you see that light.
Feel safe boy, you're in her sight.

 

Alice_Packs is my in-game name and the "joke" I wrote when the female char was introduced to the game.

 

I'll try anything once.

[SmashT 10907]

Matt said to post these here, just brainstorming, maybe someone can come up with a clever design from some of them as I know we have some talented artists here.

 

- Not worry friend, this is the game, I do not grudge

 

- (MrX) - Guy on top of firestation, friendly? MrX was killed.

 

- Have party bus will travel

(picture of bus from the mod) 

 

- Do the friendly dance (picture of guy doing friendly dance - leaning)

 

- Things that kill me: ArmA > Bandits > Zombies

 

- Leading causes of Death in DayZ (infographic):

Killed by a door

Flipped an ATV on a bridge

Tried to use my binoculars, vaulted off a cliff.

Threw a grenade, landed at my feet.

Broke my legs on a tree.

Changed clothes; Fell from the sky

Spawned in Kamenka

Zombie walked through a wall.

Bandit hiding in my tent.

 

- An official version of this:

http://i39.tinypic.com/e03bxj.jpg

 

- I survived thunderdome

 

- I survived the coast and all I got was this dumb shirt

 

- "Ten meats on Andy" (Have an image of the makeshift arena with two players at tents at each end facing each other with axes - for reference http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQQ4N1kMv9o)

 

- Go home bus, you're drunk. (Old glitch where your bicycle would turn into a bus on restart)

http://i.imgur.com/Ax92A.jpg

 

- "Anyone want a boat" (Picture of boat in the middle of Chernarus, nowhere near water)

 

- "We came from the sky, to help with your DayZ" http://i39.tinypic.com/rk4tvr.png

Edited August 16, 2013 by SmashT

[wild_man 4442]

is #1 more normal direct chat conversation from dayz, I listen this one too many time :D

 

example  is direct chat talk with 2 guys on front side of t shirts

 

hero guy - 'don't shoot I am friendly guy' :)

bandit guy- 'Is ok I don't shoot' :thumbsup:  :ph34r:

 

on back side of t shirts

 is say death message 'hero guy is killed, kill by Makarov 5 metre'

 

hero guy say in direct some heroic shit example - 'nice' / 'YOU are asshole!!!' / 'why you do this???' / '1 was 23 day survive!!!' etc....

 

is possible for infinity of rage insult butthurt and qq, choose some funnier ones and I buy this shit for sure :thumbsup:

Edited August 16, 2013 by KoS

[gesundheitk 420]

How to Hack in DayZ:

1. Download DayZ and play.

2. Pick up a hatchet.

3. Reload the hatchet.

4. You now have 100,000 hacks.

[serialbox 2]

Dayz me rollin

Day hatin

[TheLastEmp 295]

How to Hack in DayZ:

1. Download DayZ and play.

2. Pick up a hatchet.

3. Reload the hatchet.

4. You now have 100,000 hacks.

10,000*

...But I like this one a lot... In a mod ripe for ridicule and absurdity, the hatchet really does take the cake...

[Skat3rat 1633]

I swear I didn't hack.  My little brother snuck onto my computer and downloaded them.  Plox unban me.

[wwefanonpc 2]

lets go to the air field he says.

it will be fun!

Player 1 is dead.

[jubeidok 495]

This one time. In Cherno.

[BigChef 55]

"Me? Worry about infection? Naw, I can always find some antibiotics"

[DemonGroover 8836]

Hatchet to head of zombie.

 

"Fuck that hurts!"

[St. Jimmy 1631]

DayZ,

Alpha as fuck. B)

 

Don't release the game,

It's a scam!

 

Zombie apocalypse survival game,

Kill all the survivors.

 

In zombie apocalypse the first thing to do

Is to throw out your washing machine.

 

Finally a sign.

*checks the map*

Never mind let's move on.

[DanielTy88 133]

Here is a Shirt that I just finished, I realize you couldn't use some of these due to trademark issues...But you get what I am trying to do.lol

 

DayZ Professional Hoarder shirt.lol  

 

Edited August 17, 2013 by DanielTy88

[Skat3rat 1633]

 

Here is a Shirt that I just finished, I realize you couldn't use some of these due to trademark issues...But you get what I am trying to do.lol

 

DayZ Professional Hoarder shirt.lol  

 

 

 

That's awesome!  I'd give you beans but I'm all out.

[DanielTy88 133]

That's awesome!  I'd give you beans but I'm all out

 

Haha Thanks!

[JoeM (DayZ) 41]

Well whenever me and my friends step on to the NWAF I always say 'See you in Cherno guys'

 

And everyone is talking about reloading their hatchet but they have missed out the 'My hatchet is out of ammo!'

[Daybreakdz 2]

Front:

Daybreakdz: "Any one at NWAF?"
Matrix34: "I am"

Devon: "Me too"

Matrix34 has been killed

Devon has been killed

Daybreakdz: "To Starry!"

 

Back: Dayz Logo.

----------------------------

Front:

Picture of the guy from "Anyone in churno" wearing a head set.

Get off side chat!

Back: Dayz Logo

----------------------------

Front:

Daybreakdz: "there's a sniper on sniper hill. I'm gonna "

Daybreakdz has been killed.

Back: Dayz logo.

------------------------------

Front:

Picture of Kamenka bridge.

Written below the picture: The bridge (or any of these gateway/path/road) to Elektro.

(While non-players will think it's just a bridge. Players know you suicide off the bridge to get a better spawn)

Back: Dayz logo

------------------------------

Front:

Dayz Logo.

Survive? At what cost?

(Plays off the notion that to survive, it'll cost you anything from beans to your own humanity.

-----------------------------

Front;

DayZ logo

What will you sacrafice?

(same idea)

----------------------------

Front

Dayz character from "anyone in churno" with many weapons pouring out of his back.
"I was a bambi, untill I got to Starry"

----------------------------

Front:

DMR scope zoomed in on a new player.

Below picture: Fresh Bambi.

----------------------------

Front:

Dayz character from "anyone in churno" ontop of a pile of dead zombies.

"Anyone got Anitbiotics?"

(survived the onslaught. but got infected)

----------------------------

 

I'm thinking about a couple more situations ive been in and how to make it fun.

 

EDIT:

Front:

Dayz logo.

Below: Zombies aren't your only problem.

Edited August 17, 2013 by Daybreakdz

[Daybreakdz 2]

I forgot it was a hoodie!

 

Front:

I survived Cherno, and all I got was this hoodie.

(can replace to any city, Zelen, Stary, Elektro)

 

Front:

DayZ logo in background. "Now, I need a backpack".