Why Banditry Is A Moral Obligation In DayZ

[Survivor1431 116]

Hello survivors!

Most of you have probably experienced that classic moment in DayZ after walking around for hours in search of something to do, where you have contemplated whether or not you should become a bandit. I'm here to offer an airtight argument as to why you absolutely should do so during your career.

If you watch the Matrix film, a cult classic phenomenon that has revolutionized how we think about reality, you will realize that the existence of The One depends on the existence of Mr. Smith. They complete each other.

If there were only heroes in DayZ, they would not be heroes. One depends on the other. Without darkness, there is no light. The heroes only can only conquer evil if it exists. Heroes are good and should exist. Therefore, fulfill your ethical obligations as a Dayz survivor and join the dark side!

But fear not, there a wide variety of bandits that DayZ needs to truly thrive. Here are a list of suggestions that I personally recommend you to choose from:

The Psychopath
The Thief
The Mischief Maker
The Friend Betrayer
The Team Traitor
The Military Madman
The Existential Nihilist
The Trophy Hunter
The Sadistic Torturer
The Impulsive Murderer
The Dogmatic Terrorist
The Deceiver
The Reckless Drunk Driver
The Innocent Civilian Sniper
The Nighty Night Ninja
The Sledgehammer Slugger
The Delirious Firefighter

Please feel free to recommend your favorite type of bandit so that others can be inspired and we can increase the total number of bandits in DayZ.

Every day is a new story!

Edited March 25, 2019 by Survivor1431

[emuthreat 2837]

The overly altruistic highwayman with OCD...

Find a nice spot with lots of foot traffic, preferably lone players or small groups, far from prying eyes and sniper vantages, and good enough cover to be relatively secure for ten minutes at a time; must have a suitable area for storage of a couple barrels or a tent.
Fill the tent and barrels with useful survival gear, plenty of food, batteries and extra flashlights, and even a few highly sought-after weapon accessories.

Wait around looking for survivors traveling or looting, or ideally stopped at a well; and then approach them and let them know that this is a hold-up, but that you have no intention of harming them if they cooperate.  Usher them into your bandit hideout.

Make sure to swear at them profusely, while also saying please and thank you; and don't forget constantly apologize for the harsh treatment, and alternately insult their mothers.  Tell them to strip off all their gear and face the corner.  Give them cooked steaks and zucchinis to eat while they wait.
Insist that they eat one steak, followed by two zucchini, two more steak, and one last zucchini.  If they forget and ask, act gracious and forgiving.  If they eat out of order, have a total fucking conniption fit.  Don't forget to apologize.
Go through their belongings while constantly commenting on how rubbish all their gear is.  No matter where you are, always ask how they made it out of Solnichny with such poor taste in equipment.  Don't forget to insult their mother.  Make sure to apologize after a brief awkward silence.
Now would be a good time to let them know how disappointed you are with their organizational skills.  Berate them for keeping food and water in the same pack, because solids and liquids need to be separated.  If you find peaches, you may have a minor meltdown because this item fits both categories.

Tell the victim that their gear is garbage, and not worth your stealing any of it.  Really try hard to let them know how disappointed you are...

Make them build a fire and ruin most of their gear that you know you can replace.  If you like, you can also employ the person to help tend a farm plot or cook some meat.

Send them packing with a full belly, and better gear than you found them with.

Insist that they open and close the door 5 times before leaving.

And don't forget to insult their mother again before apologizing and bidding them farewell.  And let them know if you find them with such a disorganized mess of garbage loot again, there will be trouble

[hemmo 55]

My abso favo "Friend-lee the south korean canibal". 

Friend-lee is only his name fyi 😆

[lex__1 168]

15 hours ago, Survivor1431 said:

If you watch the Matrix film, a cult classic phenomenon that has revolutionized how we think about reality, you will realize that the existence of The One depends on the existence of Mr. Smith. They complete each other.

If there were only heroes in DayZ, they would not be heroes. One depends on the other. Without darkness, there is no light. The heroes only can only conquer evil if it exists. Heroes are good and should exist. Therefore, fulfill your ethical obligations as a Dayz survivor and join the dark side!

You miss the most important thing about the existence of the "dark and light" system. All this is controlled by a balance that can destroy any system. A system that loses its balance is subject to self-destruction. Sooner or later, you still understand that what is destroyed is not dark or light, but those who are trying to convince themselves of the possibility of the existence of only dark or light.
The Psychopath cannot be infinite, there will always be someone who will send you ashore to look at the dawn.🙂

 

Edited March 25, 2019 by lex__1

[Survivor1431 116]

6 hours ago, lex__1 said:

You miss the most important thing about the existence of the "dark and light" system. All this is controlled by a balance that can destroy any system. A system that loses its balance is subject to self-destruction. Sooner or later, you still understand that what is destroyed is not dark or light, but those who are trying to convince themselves of the possibility of the existence of only dark or light.
The Psychopath cannot be infinite, there will always be someone who will send you ashore to look at the dawn.🙂

 

Yes, 99 bandits and 1 hero, the perfect balance.

[eno 1049]

2 hours ago, Survivor1431 said:

Yes, 99 bandits and 1 hero, the perfect balance.

And all are the same person. 

Mind: Blown. 

[Parazight 1599]

The social experiment is a farce because there are no actual consequences that transfer to real life.  Therefore, antisocial personality disorder reigns. 

There's no permadeath because persistent storage is accessible the moment you spawn in.  Also because, holistically speaking, loot is worthless.  Only knowledge of the game has value.

 

There is no meaning. It's just a bunch of stuff that happens.