The day in the life of an utter expert

[kevsta545 451]

If this is real you win the internet.

Next time take pics or it didn't happen :P

[mooky32 308]

If this is real you win the internet.

Next time take pics or it didn't happen :P

I therefore accept the Internet and now share it out evenly with our followers for I am a magnanimous leader.

My word is lore and must be accepted my friend, mortals see this as a stunning achievement. I didn't break sweat.

Peace be with you...

[eleventhavenue 204]

Comrades! I have returned after an investigation. The interest in this thread has gone up by more than 10000 times, and is now like 0,001%.

It will be interedting to see for how long mooky can educate the community in the enlightened survivor ways before the barbaric forumites inevitably will backlash and stop following the light.

[mooky32 308]

Comrades! I have returned after an investigation. The interest in this thread has gone up by more than 10000 times, and is now like 0,001%.

It will be interedting to see for how long mooky can educate the community in the enlightened survivor ways before the barbaric forumites inevitably will backlash and stop following the light.

There is a light and it never goes out, just ask The Smiths my brother.

Your investigations are welcome brother, our knowledge is a font for all, drink deep....

 

Go in peace.

[Alwaysontop 0]

 

A true story that will be of interest to the top 000000.1% of Dayz players. Basically the elite, read on friends.

 

Was hanging around Elektro with Itchy on "the hill". I decided to go and do some shopping in town whilst Itchy kept overwatch on our town.

 

I was really low on supplies, a mere single shot left in my mosin and 4 shots in my pistol.

Thought I would scout out a couple of 20 packs of 7.62 and then get back to dominating our town and basically keeping it under the rule of an iron first.

 

Then I saw them, a group of 5 fairly well kitted survivors armed with a combination of mosins and pistols. They were hanging about the supermarket , 3 checked inside and 2 others covered the outside. I was across the street second floor, taking this all in and calculating the odds.

 

"Need any help?" asked Itchy over comms.

 

"Nah I got this" I replied and shouldered my Mosin.

 

First shot was an absolute classic even by my standards. Two of the band were kneeling inside the supermarket gearing up and I scoped the first in line and fired. Headshot - natch - but I can confirm single bullet double player kill is possible - 2 DOWN with a single shot.

 

The place erupted, the one chap left in the supermarket sprinting out firing wildly, the 2 muppets on cover duty also shooting at ghosts!

 

I slipped out of the rear entrance of my building and kept low, using my comprehensive expert knowledge of every inch of Elektro to loop around the remaining 3 invaders of my city.

 

I edged by the church and approached the supermarket via a side street. One of the invaders sprinted through the alley, as suprised to see me as I him. My razor reactions kicked in and I slotted him via a clean single pistol shot to the head.

 

Busted , I thought , the last 2 idiots will be on me shortly. 3 pistol shots left and hell to pay.

 

Sod it! I ran straight out on the main road, death or glory! Time for a shock, they had moved towards the tech building and another 2 of their buddies had joined the hunting party as they attempted to flush me out.

 

I hit voice comms (please post a response if you were part of this shoot-out as you will recognise what I said!):

 

"Hey nut sacks, I am offering a 2 for 1 on headshots"

 

I opened up as they spun in my direction. I executed 3 headshots with the precision of an SAS trained hand gun expert who had been using a time machine to hone his skills over a millenia.

 

The 4th guy ducked in cover by the tech building and shouted back

 

"Jesus H Christ, you are the living enbodiment of John Rambo"

 

Even I had a chuckle at that and had to agree.

 

Bingo ammo though and it wasnt looking good even for a player of my ability.

 

Back to the hill I thought, maybe Itchy can spare me a fee rounds to finish up this tea party.

 

I break for cover and hit the hill - shit on a stick - the survivor is behind me and he is steadying up for some pistol punishment on the sprinting deity.

 

A single shot rings out, I prepared for blackness..... it never comes. Behind me I see my pursuer dead, courtesy of a precise head shot.

 

"Sorry I was eating and had to take that shot with my left hand" comes the welcome voice of Itchy.

 

Couldn't believe it, he had exectuted an 800m shot left handed whilst eating a chicken tikka Pizza.

 

I thanked him and told him of my adventures. He was mildy impressed with the double kill but not overly excited. This level of play has come to be the standard for the Elektro masters.

 

I read this and just want to say I think you were puffing pete the magic dragons King dong when writing this.

 

I am probably better than you as I regularly sit on top of the hospital and have shot many on that hill, including you and ichy.

 

I will shit in your church and wipe my ass with your white robes, and piss in your alter of purity.  Then I will make you drink it and sober you pathetic head up, and you will then kneel before the true master of elekro.  And your followers will follow me.

[Metalunatic 25]

I can only hope I am half as good as mooky32 someday. You utter expert, you! :P

Edited January 17, 2014 by Metalunatic

[mooky32 308]

I read this and just want to say I think you were puffing pete the magic dragons King dong when writing this.

 

I am probably better than you as I regularly sit on top of the hospital and have shot many on that hill, including you and ichy.

 

I will shit in your church and wipe my ass with your white robes, and piss in your alter of purity.  Then I will make you drink it and sober you pathetic head up, and you will then kneel before the true master of elekro.  And your followers will follow me.

 

Welcome friend, yes reading a story of such devastating purity and truth probably left you reeling. A reality check of truly awesome power hit you between the eyes harder than 7.62 round from my Mosin. You stumbled about your basement in a daze, trying to absorb the wisdom of my tale and its daring and expertism. It was too much however and it drove you to the point of near insanity, so much so you considered going outside and getting some fresh air (a major step for a sunlight hating troll).

 

You didn't however and decided to get on your faithful sword of justice (keyboard to most regular people) and create a fantasy scenario which papered over the cracks in your swiss cheese like ego.

 

The chances of you killing Itchy or I are the same as the potential you have of interacting with a female at your magic the gathering after school club - NONE!

 

Now go and peace before the followers lynch you.

 

I can only hope I am half as good as mooky32 someday. You utter expert, you! :P

Half as good as me is a factor of 10 x better than an average Dayz veteran. You have set yourself a bloody tough goal there.

I will help guide you to it though my son. Welcome to the Enlightened. Peace go with you...

[VuRaL 46]

I really wonder, what you are smoking?

[mooky32 308]

I really wonder, what you are smoking

The only thing I inhale is the sweet smell of success brother.

[Gimpylung 40]

I have prepared the lynching tree Blessed.

 

Alwaysontop will hang till he rots as warning to any others who wish to indulge in heresy.

[mooky32 308]

I have prepared the lynching tree Blessed.

 

Alwaysontop will hang till he rots as warning to any others who wish to indulge in heresy.

 

Your efforts are as always appreciated young Gimpy. You have lots to learn but then again I have so much to give and you are such a willing vessel.

Peace be with you brother

[real meatshield 424]

10/10, would read again.

[Alwaysontop 0]

Your efforts are as always appreciated young Gimpy. You have lots to learn but then again I have so much to give and you are such a willing vessel.Peace be with you brother

I will rip off your head and piss down your perfection... Blemishing it foverer... I am renaming electro so to stop your supposid rule... Beware as I am always on top... And I shot a guy eating a hotdog yesterday..

Edited January 19, 2014 by Alwaysontop

[mooky32 308]

I will rip off your head and piss down your perfection... Blemishing it foverer... I am renaming electro so to stop your supposid rule... Beware as I am always on top... And I shot a guy eating a hotdog yesterday..

The enlightenment cannot be stopped. It's a huge tidal wave of wisdom, powered by the devotion of our followers. Standing in its way will lead to your utter destruction.

Stand aside brother, or face oblivion!

Go in peace

[Alwaysontop 0]

The enlightenment cannot be stopped. It's a huge tidal wave of wisdom, powered by the devotion of our followers. Standing in its way will lead to your utter destruction.

Stand aside brother, or face oblivion!

Go in peace

 

I actually read all the posts and also got caught up in a similar fire fight at the weekend and got killed.  I realised two things, one the skill it takes to win a fire fight like that and also that this thread was just highlighting and sharing a story.  Lots of people tried to make a mockery of it, probably through jealousy like I first had.

 

I think your skill and ichys ability is one of a kind in game and out.  I will come to the hill to be enlightened.

 

Forgive me as I was a fool – I will be with the gods of elektro.

[alldaypk 63]

A true story that will be of interest to the top 000000.1% of Dayz players. Basically the elite, read on friends.

 

Was hanging around Elektro with Itchy on "the hill". I decided to go and do some shopping in town whilst Itchy kept overwatch on our town.

 

I was really low on supplies, a mere single shot left in my mosin and 4 shots in my pistol.

Thought I would scout out a couple of 20 packs of 7.62 and then get back to dominating our town and basically keeping it under the rule of an iron first.

 

Then I saw them, a group of 5 fairly well kitted survivors armed with a combination of mosins and pistols. They were hanging about the supermarket , 3 checked inside and 2 others covered the outside. I was across the street second floor, taking this all in and calculating the odds.

 

"Need any help?" asked Itchy over comms.

 

"Nah I got this" I replied and shouldered my Mosin.

 

First shot was an absolute classic even by my standards. Two of the band were kneeling inside the supermarket gearing up and I scoped the first in line and fired. Headshot - natch - but I can confirm single bullet double player kill is possible - 2 DOWN with a single shot.

 

The place erupted, the one chap left in the supermarket sprinting out firing wildly, the 2 muppets on cover duty also shooting at ghosts!

 

I slipped out of the rear entrance of my building and kept low, using my comprehensive expert knowledge of every inch of Elektro to loop around the remaining 3 invaders of my city.

 

I edged by the church and approached the supermarket via a side street. One of the invaders sprinted through the alley, as suprised to see me as I him. My razor reactions kicked in and I slotted him via a clean single pistol shot to the head.

 

Busted , I thought , the last 2 idiots will be on me shortly. 3 pistol shots left and hell to pay.

 

Sod it! I ran straight out on the main road, death or glory! Time for a shock, they had moved towards the tech building and another 2 of their buddies had joined the hunting party as they attempted to flush me out.

 

I hit voice comms (please post a response if you were part of this shoot-out as you will recognise what I said!):

 

"Hey nut sacks, I am offering a 2 for 1 on headshots"

 

I opened up as they spun in my direction. I executed 3 headshots with the precision of an SAS trained hand gun expert who had been using a time machine to hone his skills over a millenia.

 

The 4th guy ducked in cover by the tech building and shouted back

 

"Jesus H Christ, you are the living enbodiment of John Rambo"

 

Even I had a chuckle at that and had to agree.

 

Bingo ammo though and it wasnt looking good even for a player of my ability.

 

Back to the hill I thought, maybe Itchy can spare me a fee rounds to finish up this tea party.

 

I break for cover and hit the hill - shit on a stick - the survivor is behind me and he is steadying up for some pistol punishment on the sprinting deity.

 

A single shot rings out, I prepared for blackness..... it never comes. Behind me I see my pursuer dead, courtesy of a precise head shot.

 

"Sorry I was eating and had to take that shot with my left hand" comes the welcome voice of Itchy.

 

Couldn't believe it, he had exectuted an 800m shot left handed whilst eating a chicken tikka Pizza.

 

I thanked him and told him of my adventures. He was mildy impressed with the double kill but not overly excited. This level of play has come to be the standard for the Elektro masters.

Can I ask? Are you Australian or English? The language you use is reminiscent of Australian english, but also British, your compare yourself to the SAS, not the marines or whatnot which further points to British or Australian and chicken tikka is popular in England or what i'm lead to believe...

[Wukey88 9]

Zzzz zzzz ZzzZzz

[Skinup69 24]

My story about these 2 goofs kicked ass!

[mooky32 308]

I actually read all the posts and also got caught up in a similar fire fight at the weekend and got killed.  I realised two things, one the skill it takes to win a fire fight like that and also that this thread was just highlighting and sharing a story.  Lots of people tried to make a mockery of it, probably through jealousy like I first had.

 

I think your skill and ichys ability is one of a kind in game and out.  I will come to the hill to be enlightened.

 

Forgive me as I was a fool – I will be with the gods of elektro.

 

Welcome to the enlightened brother, you pushed back against greatness initially then had an expertism epiphany and are now in our safe and loving arms.

You are welcome on the hill where you can sit proudly beside us, scanning Elektro for invaders whom we will merrily dispatch.

And so it has been written.

Go in peace brother.

 

Can I ask? Are you Australian or English? The language you use is reminiscent of Australian english, but also British, your compare yourself to the SAS, not the marines or whatnot which further points to British or Australian and chicken tikka is popular in England or what i'm lead to believe...

Welcome brother, Itchy and I are Picts and hail from Caledonia (modern day Scotland). We are warlike by nature and often get naked and paint our bodies in woad before a session of Dayz. Itchy is renowned for being a beserker and often gets overcome with blood lust on the hill. I am more like a Pictish druid (cause everything I do is bloody magic!).

 

The mystery is revealed.

 

Peace be with you brother

[Dr. Goner 661]

Wow, way to work the thread you've each gotten like a hundred posts out of this bad boy. Think it may be time to move on but let's see what R2 has to say about it.

 

[mooky32 308]

Wow, way to work the thread you've each gotten like a hundred posts out of this bad boy. Think it may be time to move on but let's see what R2 has to say about it.

 

101 now buddy :)

But seriously is it a crime to try and respond to as many of the fans as possible and repay them for taking the time to post?

I am an expert at all things Star Wars by the way, just in case you were wondering.

 

Peace go with you brother.

[Itchysock 35]

Zzzz zzzz ZzzZzz

 

Are you just a stuttering fool trying to say ZZ Top?

 

You are obviously a follower and look for inspiration in this thread, yet fail to admit it has guided you forward.

 

You will be fully enlightnened yet

[Itchysock 35]

Wow, way to work the thread you've each gotten like a hundred posts out of this bad boy. Think it may be time to move on but let's see what R2 has to say about it.

 

 

104 now...

 

You see threads are about conversations, how can you have a conversation if you dont reply!!!!

 

Go back to school youngling, you have much more to learn on ever the very basics of life and gaming.  As obi-wan,I will guide you.

 

Peace broher

Edited January 23, 2014 by Itchycock

[Itchysock 35]

God I am amazing - he replied ´I know´.

[mooky32 308]

Quick update, for the gang of 3 in Elektro central fire station, who got distracted by itchy singing the ghost busters theme tune outside the main gate, we salute your ineptitude.

Whilst chasing him and shooting wildly I slotted you with 3 mosin shots from the 2nd story of the house opposite the fire station.

You may further recognise the scenario from itchy's add hoc lyrics which went something like this " you're shit, you can shoot for shit, you're shit" repeat x 10

You have been touched by greatness (in the form of a 7.62 round) now go in peace..