The day in the life of an utter expert

[oregonized 673]

That was a decent attempt at writing some DayZ fiction.  

 

/golf clap

[mooky32 308]

That was a decent attempt at writing some DayZ fiction.  

 

/golf clap

Read the thread mate, this was merely an update. Stage 2 is starting soon and we are just prepping the followers.

[excitable1 156]

This will be equally uncomfortable for you to read friend, I am a married man. My wife was an aspiring model in her youth but she has now looked after by her adoring husband and only has to worry about her next vacation. Gaming is fun but looked to your loved ones for the real inspiration of life. Sure I can dominate a computer game but hey - its just a game. Peace to you my friend.

when in reality

[mooky32 308]

when in reality

Ah the lesser spotted nerd, seen rarely in a social group appears briefly from his basement in his futile attempt to troll the master of troll destroyers.

Here is a tip for you wee man, don't assume everyone lives in your own loser continuum. Pluck up your ideas, pull on the big boy pants and join us in our continuing effort to improve the community.

Much love!

Edited February 15, 2014 by mooky32

[babypuncher71 22]

Electro is too good for a baddie like yourself please provide server dets so i can come in and take it from you....

Seeing how you think your the king of Electro...

I will come in with a spanner and still beat you..

[Rick1633 136]

As a modest man I accept your apology, go in peace son.

 

 

No sorry friend it was nothing like your zombie related incident. My story involved a near super human effort of skill, cunning and intestinal fortitude, resulting in an epiphany for my opponents when they realised their encounter with greatness.

Or your story invovles never knowing the touch of a woman orplaying a real sport because you spend so much time in one single computer game that is not even a complete game.   

[McGarnagle 94]

The Berezino muscle-jock is way funnier than you, fyi.

[mooky32 308]

Or your story invovles never knowing the touch of a woman orplaying a real sport because you spend so much time in one single computer game that is not even a complete game.

Might be an easy route for some, my success in life is born out of real effort and an uncanny knack with the ladies. Tips available on request.

  

The Berezino muscle-jock is way funnier than you, fyi.

This is incorrect and not the general consensus. Our followers are at odds with this statement.

[kobeandodom 23]

A true story that will be of interest to the top 000000.1% of Dayz players. Basically the elite, read on friends.

 

Was hanging around Elektro with Itchy on "the hill". I decided to go and do some shopping in town whilst Itchy kept overwatch on our town.

 

I was really low on supplies, a mere single shot left in my mosin and 4 shots in my pistol.

Thought I would scout out a couple of 20 packs of 7.62 and then get back to dominating our town and basically keeping it under the rule of an iron first.

 

Then I saw them, a group of 5 fairly well kitted survivors armed with a combination of mosins and pistols. They were hanging about the supermarket , 3 checked inside and 2 others covered the outside. I was across the street second floor, taking this all in and calculating the odds.

 

"Need any help?" asked Itchy over comms.

 

"Nah I got this" I replied and shouldered my Mosin.

 

First shot was an absolute classic even by my standards. Two of the band were kneeling inside the supermarket gearing up and I scoped the first in line and fired. Headshot - natch - but I can confirm single bullet double player kill is possible - 2 DOWN with a single shot.

 

The place erupted, the one chap left in the supermarket sprinting out firing wildly, the 2 muppets on cover duty also shooting at ghosts!

 

I slipped out of the rear entrance of my building and kept low, using my comprehensive expert knowledge of every inch of Elektro to loop around the remaining 3 invaders of my city.

 

I edged by the church and approached the supermarket via a side street. One of the invaders sprinted through the alley, as suprised to see me as I him. My razor reactions kicked in and I slotted him via a clean single pistol shot to the head.

 

Busted , I thought , the last 2 idiots will be on me shortly. 3 pistol shots left and hell to pay.

 

Sod it! I ran straight out on the main road, death or glory! Time for a shock, they had moved towards the tech building and another 2 of their buddies had joined the hunting party as they attempted to flush me out.

 

I hit voice comms (please post a response if you were part of this shoot-out as you will recognise what I said!):

 

"Hey nut sacks, I am offering a 2 for 1 on headshots"

 

I opened up as they spun in my direction. I executed 3 headshots with the precision of an SAS trained hand gun expert who had been using a time machine to hone his skills over a millenia.

 

The 4th guy ducked in cover by the tech building and shouted back

 

"Jesus H Christ, you are the living enbodiment of John Rambo"

 

Even I had a chuckle at that and had to agree.

 

Bingo ammo though and it wasnt looking good even for a player of my ability.

 

Back to the hill I thought, maybe Itchy can spare me a fee rounds to finish up this tea party.

 

I break for cover and hit the hill - shit on a stick - the survivor is behind me and he is steadying up for some pistol punishment on the sprinting deity.

 

A single shot rings out, I prepared for blackness..... it never comes. Behind me I see my pursuer dead, courtesy of a precise head shot.

 

"Sorry I was eating and had to take that shot with my left hand" comes the welcome voice of Itchy.

 

Couldn't believe it, he had exectuted an 800m shot left handed whilst eating a chicken tikka Pizza.

 

I thanked him and told him of my adventures. He was mildy impressed with the double kill but not overly excited. This level of play has come to be the standard for the Elektro masters.

 

all i got out of this is you apparently have a lot of faith in your sniper, dude must be pretty good, maybe you'll get on his level some day.

[mooky32 308]

all i got out of this is you apparently have a lot of faith in your sniper, dude must be pretty good, maybe you'll get on his level some day.

We are symbiotic

[Dr. Goner 661]

Tired joke is tired. Stop feeding trolls people. 

[mooky32 308]

Tired joke is tired. Stop feeding trolls people.

Tired joke is tired. Stop feeding trolls people.

You ever thought of a career as a party planner? You seem full of joy and fun *end sarcasm*

[Grimey Rick 3417]

A true story that will be of interest to the top 000000.1% of Dayz players. Basically the elite, read on friends.

 

Was hanging around Elektro with Itchy on "the hill". I decided to go and do some shopping in town whilst Itchy kept overwatch on our town.

 

I was really low on supplies, a mere single shot left in my mosin and 4 shots in my pistol.

Thought I would scout out a couple of 20 packs of 7.62 and then get back to dominating our town and basically keeping it under the rule of an iron first.

 

Then I saw them, a group of 5 fairly well kitted survivors armed with a combination of mosins and pistols. They were hanging about the supermarket , 3 checked inside and 2 others covered the outside. I was across the street second floor, taking this all in and calculating the odds.

 

"Need any help?" asked Itchy over comms.

 

"Nah I got this" I replied and shouldered my Mosin.

 

First shot was an absolute classic even by my standards. Two of the band were kneeling inside the supermarket gearing up and I scoped the first in line and fired. Headshot - natch - but I can confirm single bullet double player kill is possible - 2 DOWN with a single shot.

 

The place erupted, the one chap left in the supermarket sprinting out firing wildly, the 2 muppets on cover duty also shooting at ghosts!

 

I slipped out of the rear entrance of my building and kept low, using my comprehensive expert knowledge of every inch of Elektro to loop around the remaining 3 invaders of my city.

 

I edged by the church and approached the supermarket via a side street. One of the invaders sprinted through the alley, as suprised to see me as I him. My razor reactions kicked in and I slotted him via a clean single pistol shot to the head.

 

Busted , I thought , the last 2 idiots will be on me shortly. 3 pistol shots left and hell to pay.

 

Sod it! I ran straight out on the main road, death or glory! Time for a shock, they had moved towards the tech building and another 2 of their buddies had joined the hunting party as they attempted to flush me out.

 

I hit voice comms (please post a response if you were part of this shoot-out as you will recognise what I said!):

 

"Hey nut sacks, I am offering a 2 for 1 on headshots"

 

I opened up as they spun in my direction. I executed 3 headshots with the precision of an SAS trained hand gun expert who had been using a time machine to hone his skills over a millenia.

 

The 4th guy ducked in cover by the tech building and shouted back

 

"Jesus H Christ, you are the living enbodiment of John Rambo"

 

Even I had a chuckle at that and had to agree.

 

Bingo ammo though and it wasnt looking good even for a player of my ability.

 

Back to the hill I thought, maybe Itchy can spare me a fee rounds to finish up this tea party.

 

I break for cover and hit the hill - shit on a stick - the survivor is behind me and he is steadying up for some pistol punishment on the sprinting deity.

 

A single shot rings out, I prepared for blackness..... it never comes. Behind me I see my pursuer dead, courtesy of a precise head shot.

 

"Sorry I was eating and had to take that shot with my left hand" comes the welcome voice of Itchy.

 

Couldn't believe it, he had exectuted an 800m shot left handed whilst eating a chicken tikka Pizza.

 

I thanked him and told him of my adventures. He was mildy impressed with the double kill but not overly excited. This level of play has come to be the standard for the Elektro masters.

 i lol'd

[Mdogg2005 447]

 i lol'd

lmao same.  000000000.1 is still just 0.1 I think he may have meant 0.00000000000001%

[mooky32 308]

lmao same.  000000000.1 is still just 0.1 I think he may have meant 0.00000000000001%

I decide the rules of maths. Smash the system people, just smash it up! I went to the self service checkout today and when the display asked whether I took a bag (for which it would charge me a small amount) I pressed "no".

 

I took a bag anyway and walked out like nothing had happened.

[crazykage 1063]

I decide the rules of maths. Smash the system people, just smash it up! I went to the self service checkout today and when the display asked whether I took a bag (for which it would charge me a small amount) I pressed "no".

 

I took a bag anyway and walked out like nothing had happened.

[Nicko2580 398]

I decide the rules of maths. Smash the system people, just smash it up! I went to the self service checkout today and when the display asked whether I took a bag (for which it would charge me a small amount) I pressed "no".

 

I took a bag anyway and walked out like nothing had happened.

I can tell from this statement that you really must be a true master. Such an utterly Magnificent Bastard that no system could ever keep you down. 

Well done Sir. Well done.

[AGBenny 18]

"A true story that will be of interest to the top 000000.1% of Dayz players. Basically the elite, read on friends.

 

Was hanging around Elektro"

 

- stopped reading here...

 

lol sorry but the top .1% don't camp electro and shoot under geared players :P

Edited March 1, 2014 by AGBenny

[mooky32 308]

I can tell from this statement that you really must be a true master. Such an utterly Magnificent Bastard that no system could ever keep you down. 

Well done Sir. Well done.

 

It's like you know me better than I know myself. My wife often calls me an utter Bastard. Is this the same thing?

[antonioajc 500]

Oh god, this thread is still going on?!

[mooky32 308]

Oh god, this thread is still going on?!

People comment, its rude not to comment back. Thanks for commenting. The irony.......

[antonioajc 500]

People comment, its rude not to comment back. Thanks for commenting. The irony.......

It literally makes no difference because people just keep posting and posting and posting... Oh god I just fell into the cycle.