Booticus 12 Posted April 23, 2015 The other day I wasn't doing so hot. I was down on my luck and feeling it. I didn't have much at the time, only some blue jeans and a leather jacket I knew was sure to intimidate any trouble makers I might encounter, on account of how bad ass I looked in it. Unfortunately, no amount of good looks or bad assery could pull me out of my current situation. I was like, super hungry. I checked a few apple trees, but after 30 minutes of peeling the bark away from the base of the trees, I still didn't have any apples. After deciding that I had no god damn idea how to apple tree correctly, I moved on. A little farther down the road I found a village. By this time I was thinking to myself "I'm dying of starvation." I frantically searched the empty houses. I found a few items, but none that I could eat. As I was leaving the town, I noticed a can on the top of a car. I walked over and, as if god himself had delivered it to me, a can of tactical bacon rested upon the trunk. I greedily snatched it up, only to realize... I had nothing to open it with. I began running toward another small group of houses farther up the road and reached them as the world was losing its color and I began to slip towards the light. First house, empty. Second and third, bunk. Last house... last chance... empty. I walked outside, ready to meet my maker, when I noticed in the shed beside me there was a crowbar laying on the ground. I ran over and grabbed it, eyed it up with the edge of my can and let her rip.Disaster. Devastation. Tragedy.I spilled it. All of it. Well, except for what I assumed was roughly 6% of the initial volume. All my hope was gone. I accepted my fate. All that was left to do now was lay down on the ground and stare at the pile of tactical bacon on the ground beside me, 94% of a can that I could no longer eat, because it had fallen onto the ground... and become... yucky.[death] 6 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Parazight 1594 Posted April 23, 2015 learn2crowbar, nub 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
(Matt) 4 Posted April 23, 2015 Awesome, keep on writing this. Like diary pages you find around the game...or that book in the moria tomb...THEY ARE COMING. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JPWiser 251 Posted April 23, 2015 It's not that you don't know how to apple tree, it's that apple trees are ridiculous the way they work... Don't feel bad.Great story! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JPWiser 251 Posted April 23, 2015 It's not that you don't know how to apple tree, it's that apple trees are ridiculous the way they work... Don't feel bad.Great story! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sgtpotatoes@gmail.com 30 Posted April 23, 2015 NOT YUCKY D: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Excanto 336 Posted April 23, 2015 Hehehe great story! Unless your no where near the coast when you start, go search the ground at the waters edge where it is gravel looking, it says search for stones, once ya find one, put it in your hand and click on the same type of ground where it says craft a stone knife. That can be used for lots of things, one of which is opening cans. If you are not near the coast when you start, I recommend that you head to the coast at some point and make a knife. It takes up 1 spot instead of the 2 spots. Better luck next spawn! My worst spawning was when I was dropping my stuff in a house I recognized before I died of zombie attack, then I got to that house again after a long run and dumped the stuff I had into that same backpack before I froze to death. Third spawn I was in pretty good shape when I made it to that backpack and scooped up that loot. I found that the pipe works great at opening cans in a pinch. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gannon46 788 Posted April 23, 2015 (edited) first thing i do when i spawn is make an improvised knife since you spawn on the coast get a few rocks put them in your hand select creat improvised knife instant can opener/tool to harvest animals. and if you can find peaches a can of peaches will really get you goin good if you can find a few of those OP your good to go. Edited April 23, 2015 by gannon46 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
trujuice 56 Posted April 24, 2015 You can search for stones and craft an improvised knife using any gravelly area, i.e. beach, railroad tracks, arched alleyways, etc. Just look for gravel its a little picky at times but can be found all over the map not just coast. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Death By Crowbar 1213 Posted April 24, 2015 They should let you eat it off the ground. I mean, heck, that tactical bacon is all wrapped up and most of it would still be absolutely fine. Also, could this have technically been a death by crowbar? If so, I fully support it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
