Whats your funniest moment(s) In dayz?

[zenie250 1]

Ok so i have been dying to share this hilarious story, and thought might as well do it on the forums and maybe here others, so please id love to hear your stories of your funniest or most ridiculous moment(s) in dayz. Heres mine:

 

So i was walking along with another dude named whammy, we were searching for food and stuff etc, then Suddenly as i turn away , to get something I hear him yelling, I come back around a house to find him chasing a girl player with a fir hydrant apparently she tried to stab me in the back  with her machete, it was hilarious cause Whammy was yelling at her while she sprinted around in zig zag motion it was like a scene from a cartoon, ( wait it gets better) Then the player decides to come up and knife me real quick and run again, I panic and try to get away, the commotion ends up attracting a zed which ends up chasing after me!  after Whammy killed the crazy machete wielding woman, he saved me from the zombie. quite hilarious if you ask me, since the incident was so hectic.

 

 

So please if you have any entertaining story's please do tell me and post em here.

[Grimey Rick 3417]

The one where I clicked "Register".

[Geckofrog7 1168]

Showing off the first V3S I found to my friend.

I then told him that someone stole it right before he got to Green Mountain. (He still believed me because I had on roughly the same outfit, bar the goggles, vest, and Kobra.)

Edited January 22, 2015 by Geckofrog7

[zenie250 1]

Nice gun:P I personnaly in this gam of sorts like to use melee cause its quieter Id only use a gun when necessary or I really really need too.

[zenie250 1]

sorry meant gun*

[pjano 34]

Funniest moment in SA so far - was when 5 fresh spawns decided to gang up and chase after my friend and I on the coast. We ran about 100m down the road while a couple of them kept yelling "kill the Ak guy!" or something like that. Then he turned around and killed all 5 of them with his drum mag.

 

Second funniest thing that happened was when one of my friends and I were camping in the elektro church with the door locked (the door is unbreakable). Some guy started taunting us and was trying to glitch through the door by running into it. So I walked up to the door, poked my shotgun through the door and shot him dead (and blood went everywhere as he fell to the ground). 

[Jesus Christ The Goblin 71]

1)
The first time I played dayz I encountered a female character so I yelled out "Friendly" and she waved.
Then I hear "DIE BITCH" and this guy runs out from behind a building and starts hitting her.
I was already injured from zombies (I was a complete noob) so when he turned his attention on me it only took one hit to knock me out.
Then while unconconsious I hear the guy saying "CHAMPION CHAMPION, No one can take me on I'm the best"
When I woke up he was bandaging so I ran at him and he started swearing, After knocking him out the female character runs over and helped me to beat him to death, We then looted his corpse and ran seperate ways because neither of us trusted each other after that.


2)
Many months later I had an M4 and I saw someone who didn't have very much so I started shooting near him, I wasn't aiming at him just around him.
He started running around in a panic screaming "FRIENDLY FRIENDLY, I AM FRIENDLY! I AM THE MOST FRIENDLY PERSON YOU WILL EVER MEET PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I AM FRIENDLY"
I stopped shooting and said "I guess you get to live then" and ran away.


3)
Another time I was a fresh spawn looting a piano house and I saw someone enter the building.
I didn't know what to do so I ran into the corner, The player entered the room ran up to the desk and stood there with his back to me.
I screamed into my mic "BOOOOOO" the poor guy almost had a heart attack.
His character turned to face me but he couldn't really speak...... It was all "Ohwhehaea Wha-Whaa-Whatttt ttheee heelll aree you doing, what the? where the hell?", It sounded like the poor guy was having trouble breathing and couldn't really string together a sentence so i started running away he shot but missed every shot and I got away.

4)
I came accross three players on the coast, One just ran along and instantly started trying to kill the other two so I asked if they wanted help, They said ok and I helped to kill the guy trying to melee them.
The two players sounded young but said they were friendly so we looted a few houses together but once one of them got ammo they came and asked me if I knew the "F11 trick"....
I told them that I'm not that stupid and one of the kids shot near me and said "That is a warning shot, Press F11", I straight away pulled out my improvised knife and stabbed them both. I was running around aiming for their gear because each piece of their gear was changing to a ruined state very quickly. After I died I could hear them saying "OH MY GOD HE RUINED EVERYTHING"
That was the day that I learned improvised knives ruin clothes and bags fast.

Edited January 22, 2015 by Jesus Christ The Goblin

[Death By Crowbar 1213]

Two stories of interest.

 

1) I was in Balota (back in May/June 2014ish) looting ATC. Two clowns barge in guns blazing and order me down. I comply, and they cuff me. Clown A takes out his defibrillator and tries to torture me with it. Hilariously, it shocks him instead and he falls unconscious. Clown B can't stop laughing and is trying to help Clown A. I'm laughing too. Right as Clown A starts to sit/stand up again a wave of bullets fly through the 1st story door and we all die from another group of people gunning us down. This was when I learned the humor and sorrow of raiding bases. 

 

2) I was a newspawn on the coast in the south (by that lighthouse sorta near Kamyshovo). So a friend is north near Berezino and I'm running there and they log, so I decide to log to. The next night I log in and sorta have a desire to head back towards Elektro - so I run that way hitting up anything I find along the way (I think I started near the factory or near the quarry north of Kamyshovo). By the time I make it to Kamyshovo on the way to Elektro I'm in a bad place from a hunger/thirst perspective. This was the release when the wells were all busted, the well in Kamyshovo was tits on a bull to me and I'd forgotten to stop off at that little pond on the way south. So I'm rampaging every house in Kamyshovo but there's not a lot around, and there's a few other bambis in the town (as there always is). One of the few times I'm playing during the day without my wife and two young kids around and I'm able to use my mic - I shout for help that I'm starving/dehydrated and nearing death, my screen is going grey. One guy is trying to help me while another is trying to kill me for what little gear I have. Well, we manage to kill the guy trying to kill me, but start to pass out on the front doorstep of the police station. That's when some other clown with an ax blindsides the guy who was trying to help me and kills him, and then he WAITS for me to die, talking to me the whole time as my screen goes grey, I go unconscious, and then the "You have died" shows up. He proceeds to take everything from me. I wasn't mad, at least he stuck with me and didn't leave as I perished. An interesting death for sure, people there the whole way to see me to the other side...

[VermillionX 78]

I was checking out a farm house north of Electro when I heard the footsteps of 2 guys sprinting up to the house. I had no gun so I hid inside, shut the door and pulled my axe. I tried to talk to them over the course of 5 minutes. I eventually got bored and sprinted out with my axe out ready to bust up whoever was outside the door...

 

It was a pig. Stuck in the fence. He tasted good.

[Munson_fry (DayZ) 312]

me and my brother found a little lake at the arse of the map.  ( 5 players on the whole server ) 

so he stands in front of the lake for a screenshot when i notice the three other players sitting next to a campfire 5 m away 

we all where so startled that nobody shot ! 

[McWendy 675]

It was night. Me and some friends were running threw a forest trying to leave the coast. We just grouped up in cherno so our characters looked fresh to one another.

Going to the dark night and thick forest we came across an open field. We were crossing the field in the little light we had.

When suddenly i notice that our group expanded into a group of 7. (Appearently in the forest our group merged with another group)

We all looked pretty identical and didnt see or hear who was who. In the chaos that arose people were running and checking eachother out just to distinguise friend from foe.

I see someone pull out his gun. I pull out my gun. Someone sees my gun and pulls out his gun. There we are aiming and strafing still trying to distinguise friend from foe.

A shot goes off.......

i cant really explain what happend at that point but it was pure chaos.

Everyone was shooting eachother.

In the end myself and a foe got to survive. Loot all around, guns empty. We start meleeing eachother. He won. I smileyd. :)

[Jex 1104]

Back in the Mod days my friend was in the top grocery shop in Berezino. Another player came in and they started talking. My mate had an axe and a revolver on him so he asked the guy if he's like he revolver and he'd keep the axe. The guy said yes, he would take the revolver.

 

 

And shot him in the head.

 

 

I was pmsl over teamspeak and then he used global chat and said "Why did you do that" and the guy replied

 

"I DON'T KNOW!!!!"

[DickCheney 74]

An incident we dubbed Black Hawk Down..

My friend and I were on a private server driving our V3S around Cherno looking for trouble when we got some tagalongs, about 5 freshies, a couple with melees chasing us around as I drove slowly around town, we also had a Mosin guy trying to line up shots but the hood was up so it was rather hard for him. We were doing doughnuts in the gravel parking lot beside the police station when my game started acting strange and my FPS dropped dramatically, the truck then de-rendered on my screen into an assortment of boxes and my client crashed.

 

According to my friend, my body vanished from the drivers seat and I appeared standing out in front of the police station where the freshies started attacking me, he drove the truck around me in a circle to distract them and get them to follow him away from my body which worked for the most part but while driving through a bush he drove up onto a small rock and the truck was stuck. He climbed out and thats when shit went down.

 

Here we are in Chernogorsk on a full server, in front of the police station, with a stuck truck which can be heard from pretty much anywhere in the city, a pack of freshies flooding in, and a mosin sniper getting in position.

Right about that time I managed to get back in only to find I was standing beside a man with a 12ga pump who proceeded to dump into my legs in a panicked run and shoot sort of way, I pulled my 1911 and put him down with three shots to the chest, meanwhile my friend was in front of the truck firing wildly with his double barrel, he had already killed 3 and had taken a few hits. I began crawling to the truck with my shattered legs hoping it may give me some cover while he patches me up when I get shot in the back once more, I roll over and see a freshie has picked up the shotgun from the first guy who shot me but has fired the last round and is desperately trying to reload, I let loose one round from the hip and hit him square in the face, lucky shot. About the time I get to the truck another freshie is grabbing the shotgun, I put him down too, now I am out of ammo for my 1911 and am reduced to my mosin.

 

My friend began to bandage me as the freshies loomed on the streets around us, waiting for their moment, my scoped mosin seemed to hold them back though. Just as he wrapped up the bandaging process it all went black, mosin man must have finally lined up his shot, too bad he shot the immobile guy and not my friend who proceeded to spot him and hit him with both rounds from his double barrel at about 50 yards, not sure if mosin man survived but he sure wasn't happy cause he was never seen again after that. My friend, seeing that there was no reason to stay there anymore, made his escape in a hail of gunfire, he dropped about 7 all told and wounded many more.

 

The entire time we were fighting there, which was less than 10 minutes, I couldn't stop thinking of this scene, and thus, we call it Blackhawk Down.

http://youtu.be/Qf0h24ii7XY?t=2m1s

 

Totally worth it btw, those characters had lived for weeks, traveled to just about every town on the map save for military bases, and had lived a good long life. We went into that city looking for a fight and a fresh start, we what we wanted and so much more and some lucky vultures got a tent, gas can, vests, guns, backpacks, ammo, and a truck if they could get it off that damn rock.

 

Side note, my friend did survive the ordeal and made it to a safe spot near the docks, he hung around for about 15 minutes and he said the gunfire never stopped over there, we started something great and it probably went on until the server reset, a place where any freshie had a chance at great gear, he just had to dodge the bullets and axes of everyone else.

[dannsair2 (DayZ) 16]

when I was on top of a fire station and when I try to clime down the ladder my character ran and jumped of the building I do not do anything.

[DeatHTaX 1217]

when I was on top of a fire station and when I try to clime down the ladder my character ran and jumped of the building I do not do anything.

 

Shrub...is that you?

[Sleeves 98]

Any time I encounter another player.

Most of the time I panic when I notice someone, and in fear my hands fly off of my keyboard leaving me vulnerable as they line up a head shot.

It is rough being a wimp.

[SNAFU84 2]

So i'm running around in Elektro just looking for random gear as I had recently been killed and felt like just messing around for a bit before re-gearing.  I make my way to the hospital and notice the 1st floor stairway door is locked.  Normally I would just walk away and leave the area, but I was feelin' frisky.  I cleared the stair wells and reached the top floor.  That door was locked as well.  Instead of using my axe to break the door open, I punch the door and say "House keeping" to which I received a reply of mosin fire.  I opened the door while prone to see if I could spot him and I did.  He was behind one of the vents on the roof and if I was standing up when I opened the door, I would have gotten shot.  I crawled up as close as I could.  Adrenalines pumpin at this point.  I had no weapons other than my crowbar and had no idea why I was even that close to an armed player in the first place.  So I stood up and screamed over the mic "WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED!" to which he replies "HOLY SH*T!!!" and then shoots me.  I don't think he was expecting me to be that close.

 

So I re-spawn in Kamy.  Meet up with a few random gardeners.  At first they wanted to kill me, but I offered them a much more glorious path.  I had officially created my very own Kamyshovo Militia.  Myself included, we had 4 players in the ranks.  Armed with pitch forks and sledgehammers, we set our course for Elektro.  Along the way, we encountered other players who were willing to join the ranks of the Kamyshovo Militia.  Now there were 15 of us by the time we reached Elektro.  We all gathered at the bottom of the hospital as I checked to see if the door was locked and sure enough, mosin guy came all the way down stairs and locked the door again.  So we cleared all the floors and made our way to the roof door.  Sure enough, that door was locked again as well.  So I engage in my normal routine.  I punched the door and yelled "HOUSE KEEPING!" and bang, mosin guy takes a shot at the door.  Once the door was finally unlocked, hilarity ensued.

 

By the sound of the shot, mosin guy was in the exact same spot he was in the last time we crossed paths.  I open the door and 15 of us pour onto the roof through the doorway yelling and screaming.  1 mosin shot goes off and one of our members goes down, we all run directly at him with our pitch forks and sledgehammers raised ready to take him out.  The 3 Militia members in front of me must have lagged or something because they all ran right past mosin guy and fell off the roof.  We were now down to 11 members.  Mosin guy is now firing in every direction and his gun runs dry.  As we are pummeling him with our melee weapons he yells out "DON'T SHOOT! FRIE...." mosin guy is dead.  We had completed our mission.  But there was a traitor amongst the ranks.  As we were all celebrating, he pulls out a revolver and starts shooting us all.  1 by 1 the Kamyshovo Militia was gunned down by a trigger happy traitor.  Or maybe he was just shooting in a celebratory fashion and just sucks at aiming.  I really wish mosin guy didn't re-spawn so fast. 

[sachad 1016]

I'd say just today, when I went on to play DayZ after copious amounts of alcohol, and got shot trying to kill a guy with a hockey stick.

[avdutch 4]

A while ago a couple of friends and I were holding down Elektro. Between the three of us we had 1 m4 and 2 mosins.

After a while a 4 man group enters town and a protracted firefight ensues in which I get dropped almost right away. Luckily I spawn fairly close by and I start sprinting back as fast as my spindly little legs can carry me.

After a 15 minute firefight we are all dead and they have just one member left. I run upstairs just as he is looting (I am a complete bambi at this point) and barge in, fully expecting to get shot. But no, the dude says hi and proceeds to tell me he is friendly, obviously having no clue that I was with the group. I feign ignorance and ask what happened, and he responds that 'his group killed some bandits'.

The innocent noob that I am, I ask him if I can have some loot, while promising not to take any guns because I just want some food and clothing. The guy says 'take what you want' and turns his back on me to loot the goodies all around. At this point I walk over to my corpse, take my m4 and calmly dump a couple of rounds into the unsuspecting back of his head.

My friends and I had a good laugh over that, as they all came back and got their stuff.

 

This other time I got into a firefight with some 12 year old kid and I won. So I head over to his body to loot him and I find he's just unconscious, begging me to bandage him and save him and that he's so very sorry and please can I get him up. I calmly tell him 'no', because he was the one who started shooting first. (I mean even if he hadn't I would have probably opened fire, I only had an sks and he had an m4 after all, and I am somewhat greedy sometimes). At this point he yells every 12 year old kid expletive in the book at me. There was lots of talk about my mother. I swear this kid rolled straight out of call of duty.

I tell him I am going to kill him and start counting down from 10. He was swearing up until I reached 4 or 5, at which point he started begging again. He died at 0 and I was merrily on my way.

Edited January 24, 2015 by AVDutch