pookie was bad now is good person

[Shrub Rocketeer ™ 879]

ok i was take short rest from dayz play other games like elite dangeros and eve online space adveture games for pilots this games is good ones NOT GOOD LIKE DAYZ so i play today dayz because i was felt sad to not play for long time like 2 weeks i spawn in my secret base in kamenka house i check in the bedroom no loot i check in the kitchen no loot so i going for explore around the bech areas and balota airport

 

first player i see was full militery bandit with akm and gasmask name pookie i was proned in atc roof he was run the hanger i typing 'hey i am frend is you also frend or enemy plese say true' he say in direct voice something i dont listen because was quiat like the mouse i typing 'i dont listen you is vary quiat like the mouse' so he type heloo where you are hide?' i type 'is secret i dont say because maybe you do murder we first ned MAKE TRUST HAPPEN' after he typing 'I UNDERSTAND VARY GOOD IDEA NEVER TAKE RISK i am frend also'

 

i was type 'ok pookie you make me trust i will take risk' so he putting down akm on sholder and putting hands up like prisoner i was vary happy so i standing the roof do a wave say 'HELLO I AM HERE IN THE ROOF ATC' he say in direct he see me and after he was slow run to the laddrr and coming up, i was type long message explan wat i am do today like explore bech area and looking for rices and maybe water bottle also i ned gun but i see when i looking he have again akm in AIM POSITION looking on the ladder i must travel to come down.

 

'PLESE PUT AWAY WEPON i have only garden tool for find worms you donr ned to wory i am frend i never attack no reson since i was do my house camping adveture with machete master and green mosin in forest' but he say 'stop to type like retard and come out of roof or i kill you bitch' i was vary mad now and also disappoint because i was think i find a frend but now i was relise he is same like evry militery bandit he only playing dayz for do the kill on sight system but is ok IS ONLY GAME so i say him 'ok i see plan you will attack me for no reson and kill me but there is no loot for you and after you felt good?'

 

he say 'that is correct bitch' this make me more mad but i control emotion

 

i was going again proned position with garden tool in hands for defend and think about situation, i can go on the ladder but he shot me i acan stay the foof but i will die from no water i can log out change server but this is coward way also is chance my character is stay in the roof he kill wat i can do? if he come up ladder i can attack with garden tool but akm is vary pwer wepon and i will die but i will die like man not coward is so many choise for decide so i say him 'ok i coming but plese first go to oposit side of atc giun in the sholder' he was doing so i stand and coming the ladder NEVER STOP TO LOOK ON HIM

 

wen i was close to finish ladder SUPRIS SUPRIS wassee him take akm but I WAS ARRIVE THE FLOOR before he sht i doing WW sprint around and shot is start full auto and he was say some things like i am dum stupid noob who dont understand world is full with liar and asshole and wen i was shot my character leg make the noise of break and i am again proned no colour blood coming and evrything was shake like parkinson i do combat roll away to the wall and manage to reach ladder for going down to airport level he was doing relod so was miracel for me i am on the floor and he was run because i was listen the foots i typing vary fast many mistak 'PLESE MY FREND is not ned kill me' he stop to run and somthing was change in the voice like was sorry 'he say sorry man i was kill so many time befor from bandit sometim i doing kill but is not ned and after i felt bad plese make bandage i will come the stair and i dont killed you no more' i was do a bandage and felt vary relax relief

 

he say he was from the USA and is play dayz for 2 week i say him i play also ot so long but i dont do no more the murder only halp the player who is ned and sometim make nice frends, he give me pistol no ammos and some food ceral also damage compass and screwdrive for open the can, i say him is better to be frend or wat? he agrre me and say he will find morphin and come back to sayve me but i must wait in the bush and dont scare the zombie so i do crawl to 3 bush together and was wait maybe 1 hour and server was restart

 

i going for do toilet make sanwich and some cola and after i go again same server and my frend pookie was there wait for me : ) he say he going to cherno and find morphin but he doing server hop to find but he find and now I CAN WALK AGAIN also was pistol ammos and pristine water bottle 'because i know you is like the water bottle' pookie say i was vary happy becayuse i was think he forgoting me and never coming back but he was not forgoting me we was go together in cherno and kill many zombie pookie help me to find nice loot iclude new backpack and bible for read we decide we travel in the country to novo and explor around but server was restart before we manage to do it wen i log in pookie dont arrive i think we was maybe lag in server restart and we are in seperate position for log in again and too many trees arouund, i type a few time 'pookie i am on the field' but ppokie never reply

 

thankyou pookie for do long mission for morphin and also for stop to be bandit for one day was good fun time and i was happy to met you

i

[Avant-Garde 229]

Lol yeah I can't KoS too, I usually feel bad idk.

 

Unless I'm in a paranoia terror caused by NWAF, there is the no mans land imo, kill anything that moves in that place otherwise you are dead. I had made some friends in Balota too, we were both armed but idk what happened, neither him or me started to shot, instead we talked and then decided it was a better choice to loot that place togheter for we would have more chances of surviving that way. Nice fella, but the server restarted and I didn't remembered what server it was!

[kitthegreat 43]

Fantastic 10/10.

[The Aquatic Land Walrus 565]

my eyes

my eyes

my leg

But, this was funny to read, and it's a decent story. Other than the grammar that resembles a 3rd grader bingeing on chocolate, it's well written.

[AGBenny 18]

You might get lucky and be able to go add him on steam through recent players.

[blunce 991]

But, this was funny to read, and it's a decent story. Other than the grammar that resembles a 3rd grader bingeing on chocolate, it's well written.

 

I believe Shrub is Russian. English isn't his first language.

 

Gotta give the guy props  ;)

Edited September 15, 2014 by blunce

[The Aquatic Land Walrus 565]

I believe Shrub is Russian. English isn't his first language.

 

Gotta give the guy props  ;)

I could tell he wasn't native, and it was well written. He's definitely humorous.

[Sniper-Wolf 37]

another quality post by shrub as always (not sarcastic). Looking forward to the next.

[Zombie Milkman 167]

Here here!

 

Eagerly anticipating the first response that is negative, something like, "I don't understand what er sayin'!  Why is this so funny?  Stop laughing damnit!"

 

lol.  Think like the pig.  Be, the pig.

[ld-airgrafix 403]

I doubt shrub doesnt speak fluent english. He practically writes an essay with misspelled and jumbled words. I emigrated to australia and had to learn english, and i can tell you, no way in hell could he write all that by google translating. He keeps on writing in the same manner every post, by now he could have easily learnt how to spell most of the words correctly, just by browsing this forum.

Still an interesting read.

[q.S Sachiel 470]

Welcome back shrub!

We'd started to think that you'd either married a pig and run off to start a family, or someone had finally done you in while you defended your pigs.

Great read :0

[Inception. 9443]

This topic is not for discussing the OP's English skills, or lack thereof. (Yes, I understand that it can be incredibly painful to read for some to read, but still.)

Edited September 16, 2014 by Inception.

[Death By Crowbar 1213]

my eyes

my eyes

my leg

But, this was funny to read, and it's a decent story. Other than the grammar that resembles a 3rd grader bingeing on chocolate, it's well written.

Whenever Shrub Rocketeer ™ writes something this is exactly how I feel.

 

Your eyes hurt.

Your eyes hurt.

Your eyes are bleeding.

You are dead.

 

... I know this is hilarious but it's going to take an effort to go back and read it. He manages to suck you in like a crappy movie, there's no escape!

[TheFarm 158]

My favorite part is when he talks about machete master. Man is a legend at this point.

[Camisado2 83]

#pookie #neverforget

[pillock 850]

 

i going for do toilet make sanwich and some cola and after i go again same server and my frend pookie was there wait for me

 

 

I was slightly disturbed by this particular sentence.

[sab0t 109]

pookie is a fickle mofo.

[sachad 1016]

Shrub, don't ever get better at English. Your posts are awesome as they are now!

[dirrly 70]

Enjoyed the story and yeah... to be honest... until now I've never killed somebody without a reason like he attacked me or pointed his gun in my face... for sure I'm not born to be a Bandit :D

[blackberrygoo 1416]

Lol shrub too good , you make the corrupt see the light :)

[Merrick362 (DayZ) 263]

I thoroughly enjoy reading Shrub's posts.  I think that if he ever had a conversation with KoS the internet would actually implode. Unless he really IS KoS! o_0