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Mullraugh

Mullraugh's Guide to Bandits

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Hello fellow survivors! Today I teach you my personal ways of identifying bandits. The following views are solely of my individual brain and are in no way shape or form the official, definite, trademarked way of identifying players of the game.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

Now let's get started with a simple question. "What is a bandit?"

 

According to the Wikipedia post I just searched up to make myself look smarter in this thread, It says that a bandit is:

 
"ban·dit
ˈbandit/
noun
noun: bandit; plural noun: bandits; plural noun: banditti
  1. a robber or outlaw belonging to a gang and typically operating in an isolated or lawless area.
    "the bandit produced a weapon and demanded money"
    synonyms: robber, thief, outlaw, gunman, crook, mugger, gangster, raider, freebooter, hijacker, looter, marauder, bandito; More
    dated desperado;
    literary brigand;
    historical rustler, highwayman, reaver
     
    "masked bandits held up the train"
    • military slang: an enemy aircraft."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

Now. Nowhere in that definition does it say that bandits kill people for the sole purpose of their own personal enjoyment.

I personally think the word "Bandit" in DayZ should be swapped to "Gunman" or "xXL33TPr0Sc0peZKiLL3RXx"

But, for the simple reason of "easyness", we'll continue to call them bandits.

 

The first thing I do when I join a server is look at the player list. If I see 7 people in a clan together, I auto-assume they're bandits attempting to take over Berezino. (Unless the clan says [Hero] or something).

 

Second, I look for people with stupid names, or really bandity-type names. Such as "Killer, Reaper, Hunter, or Ghost" for bandit names, or "xXpr0SnipzXx, DouchEbagMcGee, Michael274743453, or LOLTRolLEDscrebs" for stupid names. All of these I automatically assume to be bandits as well.

 

Third, I look at all the decent names like John, Michael, Jacob, Caitlynn, Paul, etc. I know I have a 50/50 chance with these people being friendly or not.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

 

Types of Bandits:

 

1: The Bandit: These guys are REAL bandits. They hold you up, or handcuff you, then actually take your items. They don't kill you, and often times they leave you with a sick stomach after feeding you rotten crap or worms. These guys, out of every other bandit out there, actually deserve a medal for being brave enough to use their microphones, unlike the other anti-social introverts such as most other types of bandits.

 

2: The "Badnit": These guys are just plain failures. All they do is fail at either killing, or holding up people.

 

3: The "Kill on Sight Call of Duty xXPr0ScopezXx" Bandit: These guys just shoot for fun and their own personal pleasure. They get erections from seeing other people die. True Story.

 

4: The Clown: These guys like to have a little sadistic fun with their prized captured naked men. They pride themselves in forcing their captives to fight to the death, or by feeding them rotten food or worms or such.

 

5: The Vampire: Now, these dudes haven't been around since the game first came out. When blood stealing was the most amazing feat one could pull off. Unfortunately, these guys discovered Saline bags and skipped the hazards of injecting the wrong blood type.

 

6: The Hidden Sniper: These guys like to wait 6 hours at a high-target area so they can shoot at someone from a long distance and rarely actually hit them.

 

7: The Scumbag Bandit: These fellows like to say they're friendly in order to crush your hopes and dreams of ever meeting someone friendly in this game just before they blow your brains out for no reason at all.

 

8: The Super Scumbag Bandit: These guys actually team up with you for hours on end before picking the opportune moment to slaughter you and your friends.

 

9: The Cultist: These guys will capture you and sacrifice you to some strange god after performing the ancient dance of Hoo Hoo Ha Ha.

 

10: The Axe Murderer: This guy will chase you for hours with an axe in hopes that he will land a blow into your squishy skull.

 

11: The Squeaker: These little buddies usually like to team up and will reenact a scene from the Wizard of Oz Munchkins as they swarm around your dead body singing "The Bitch is dead"

 

12: The Town Takers: These guys like to pretend that killing everyone in Berezino makes them the rulers of the world.

 

13: The Goodguys gone Bad: These people were just ordinary survivors until they cracked after being murdered by too many of the things they hated the most. Then became one because why not. They can be any of these bandits listed.

 

14: The Loose Cannon Cop: These guys are really just confused or drunk heroes, who just finished a massive firefight and have an extremely itchy trigger finger, or are just jumpy and paranoid.

 

15: The Accidental Murderer: These people are nice people, and sometimes accidentally mistake you for a bandit or a zombie.

 

16: The Bandit Hunter: Now, you may think you're doing good to the world by hunting down and killing bandits, but you're not a hero for doing it. You're on a fine line between Neutral and Bandit. Heroes shouldn't kill unless provoked.

 

17: The Itchy Finger Desperado: These guys are people who are in a hero group, but really really want to see some action. 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

 

 

Bandit Clothing:

 

There are many different types of clothes in this game, but I've noticed that all bandits wear relatively the same thing.

 

Motorbike Helmets: These things are okay if you've just spawned in since they help you survive against any Mohamed Ali wannabe's out there. But if you consider a motorbike helmet your headwear of choice after being fully geared up, I consider that to be like a grown man who still drinks from a sippy cup. If you are looking to protect yourself against melee after getting geared up, you're obviously looking for trouble since the only melee heavy zones in the map are the places where people spawn.

 

Payday Masks: Anyone who wears this is covering their face because they either like Payday, or think they look intimidating. And, if you really think about it, Payday is a game about robbing banks, and a synonym for Robber is Bandit.

 

Full Military Gear: Now, obviously everyone hopes to get full camo and high-cap vests and such, but usually the people who do have these things, have nothing better to do than get in firefights or mess with new spawns.

 

Cowboy hats: Now, you Americans are gonna hate me for this, but speaking from experience, people who wear cowboy hats are ALWAYS bandits. ESPECIALLY if they wear respirators and aviator sunglasses along with it. Kill these dudes on sight, no regrets.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

 

That's about it for now. Hate me all you want, but this is just my personal way of dealing with the scumbags that everyone loathes.

Add any bandit types you know of or I missed below!

Edited by mullraugh
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nastymeanpeoplethathavenothoughtforthemumsanddadsthatgavebirthtothelittledarlings.

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Green mountain is cured? Edit: ah cursed.

2spoopy.

 

Would love to meet some cultists, I've mostly encountered pantsless 'badnits'

Edited by Amias Free
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Hmm... I for one love the cowboy hat and aviators and I have never KOSed.

 

Lumping em in the same basket with me is making me ponder on changing the hat. Maybe a baseball cap...

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  On 7/18/2014 at 9:15 PM, mullraugh said:

 

Cowboy hats: Now, you Americans are gonna hate me for this, but speaking from experience, people who wear cowboy hats are ALWAYS bandits. ESPECIALLY if they wear respirators and aviator sunglasses along with it. Kill these dudes on sight, no regrets.

 I can confirm this.

Kill them.

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Dont let this guide fool you. "Bandits" come in all clothes, shapes, colors, and loadouts. I believe clothing is irrelevent.

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boring read...OP weights in on appearance too much.

Edited by {Core}BlackLabel

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Perhaps OP puts weight on appearance, but that could lead to a more interesting question.  Do you doubt that people develop a feel for what makes them say in their gut, "bandit!"?  Like it or not, I think there are certain items, masks, helmets, etc., that each player will begin to associate with "bandit" based upon his or her experiences.  In my own experience, the clown masks make me think "bandit" when the person walks around the corner.  Why?  Because, on average, players in clown masks have tried to put a bullet in my dome.  The question is, when I see a clown mask, do I give the person a chance to prove my developed instinct incorrect or do I KOS?  Honestly, for me, probably depends on the day.  But it's still interesting to think about.  Ultimately, as DeatHTaX says, clothing is irrelevant...it's not about them, it's about you.

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  On 7/18/2014 at 10:21 PM, {Core}BlackLabel said:

boring read...OP weights in on appearance too much.

The world is based off of appearances. Nobody is a god who can just look at a guy's personality and instantly know if he's gonna kill you or not

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  On 7/18/2014 at 10:52 PM, mullraugh said:

The world is based off of appearances. Nobody is a god who can just look at a guy's personality and instantly know if he's gonna kill you or not

Which is why I shoot everyone not currently in my teamspeak chat. Make's thing MUCH simpler, especially because I love a good gank. A nice, quiet patiently lined up shot on an unaware target, ah good times, good times.

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Appearance is a big issue. I generally assume anyone with even a mild fashion sense is probably more likely to be concerned over trivial things instead of the space for lootz and being the ub3rPl0xsn1pp3r's that I come to expect with all the stupid and mismatching gear that this senseless community loves.

 

I'll tolerate anyone who dresses like a sane person. People think I'm KOS, I'm really not. I just hate the stupid things people wear in this game.

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  On 7/18/2014 at 10:52 PM, mullraugh said:

The world is based off of appearances. Nobody is a god who can just look at a guy's personality and instantly know if he's gonna kill you or not

 

 

oh really ?

 

That makes it FUN dude...i got SAVED by people i assumed begin bandits. They all wore the same barret and the respirators and full gear. Its the POSTURE and how they approached that makes the difference. If you only judge a book by its cover you WILL miss out on a lot of awesome adventures...

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posture- appearance

dress-appearance

movement -appearance

gear -appearance

communication (verbal) -arguably appearance

response to stimulous -appearance.

 

kinda supporting that trend.  Given that it's a computer game being delivered through a screen, your sensory options for discriminating your target are limited

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I shoot anything and ilanyone indiscriminately about 90% of the time so i usually dont have to worry about appearance anyway lol

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  On 7/18/2014 at 9:15 PM, mullraugh said:

The following views are solely of my individual brain and are in no way shape or form the official, definite, trademarked way of identifying players of the game.

 

Calm down fellas.

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To be honest, its a good review for new people......Kinda like a heads up =)

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  On 7/18/2014 at 9:15 PM, mullraugh said:

Hello fellow survivors! Today I teach you my personal ways of identifying bandits. The following views are solely of my individual brain and are in no way shape or form the official, definite, trademarked way of identifying players of the game.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

Now let's get started with a simple question. "What is a bandit?"

 

According to the Wikipedia post I just searched up to make myself look smarter in this thread, It says that a bandit is:

 

"ban·dit

ˈbandit/

noun

noun: bandit; plural noun: bandits; plural noun: banditti

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

Now. Nowhere in that definition does it say that bandits kill people for the sole purpose of their own personal enjoyment.

I personally think the word "Bandit" in DayZ should be swapped to "Gunman" or "xXL33TPr0Sc0peZKiLL3RXx"

But, for the simple reason of "easyness", we'll continue to call them bandits.

 

The first thing I do when I join a server is look at the player list. If I see 7 people in a clan together, I auto-assume they're bandits attempting to take over Berezino. (Unless the clan says [Hero] or something).

 

Second, I look for people with stupid names, or really bandity-type names. Such as "Killer, Reaper, Hunter, or Ghost" for bandit names, or "xXpr0SnipzXx, DouchEbagMcGee, Michael274743453, or LOLTRolLEDscrebs" for stupid names. All of these I automatically assume to be bandits as well.

 

Third, I look at all the decent names like John, Michael, Jacob, Caitlynn, Paul, etc. I know I have a 50/50 chance with these people being friendly or not.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

 

Types of Bandits:

 

1: The Bandit: These guys are REAL bandits. They hold you up, or handcuff you, then actually take your items. They don't kill you, and often times they leave you with a sick stomach after feeding you rotten crap or worms. These guys, out of every other bandit out there, actually deserve a medal for being brave enough to use their microphones, unlike the other anti-social introverts such as most other types of bandits.

 

2: The "Badnit": These guys are just plain failures. All they do is fail at either killing, or holding up people.

 

3: The "Kill on Sight Call of Duty xXPr0ScopezXx" Bandit: These guys just shoot for fun and their own personal pleasure. They get erections from seeing other people die. True Story.

 

4: The Clown: These guys like to have a little sadistic fun with their prized captured naked men. They pride themselves in forcing their captives to fight to the death, or by feeding them rotten food or worms or such.

 

5: The Vampire: Now, these dudes haven't been around since the game first came out. When blood stealing was the most amazing feat one could pull off. Unfortunately, these guys discovered Saline bags and skipped the hazards of injecting the wrong blood type.

 

6: The Hidden Sniper: These guys like to wait 6 hours at a high-target area so they can shoot at someone from a long distance and rarely actually hit them.

 

7: The Scumbag Bandit: These fellows like to say they're friendly in order to crush your hopes and dreams of ever meeting someone friendly in this game just before they blow your brains out for no reason at all.

 

8: The Super Scumbag Bandit: These guys actually team up with you for hours on end before picking the opportune moment to slaughter you and your friends.

 

9: The Cultist: These guys will capture you and sacrifice you to some strange god after performing the ancient dance of Hoo Hoo Ha Ha.

 

10: The Axe Murderer: This guy will chase you for hours with an axe in hopes that he will land a blow into your squishy skull.

 

11: The Squeaker: These little buddies usually like to team up and will reenact a scene from the Wizard of Oz Munchkins as they swarm around your dead body singing "The Bitch is dead"

 

12: The Town Takers: These guys like to pretend that killing everyone in Berezino makes them the rulers of the world.

 

13: The Goodguys gone Bad: These people were just ordinary survivors until they cracked after being murdered by too many of the things they hated the most. Then became one because why not. They can be any of these bandits listed.

 

14: The Loose Cannon Cop: These guys are really just confused or drunk heroes, who just finished a massive firefight and have an extremely itchy trigger finger, or are just jumpy and paranoid.

 

15: The Accidental Murderer: These people are nice people, and sometimes accidentally mistake you for a bandit or a zombie.

 

16: The Bandit Hunter: Now, you may think you're doing good to the world by hunting down and killing bandits, but you're not a hero for doing it. You're on a fine line between Neutral and Bandit. Heroes shouldn't kill unless provoked.

 

17: The Itchy Finger Desperado: These guys are people who are in a hero group, but really really want to see some action. 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

 

 

Bandit Clothing:

 

There are many different types of clothes in this game, but I've noticed that all bandits wear relatively the same thing.

 

Motorbike Helmets: These things are okay if you've just spawned in since they help you survive against any Mohamed Ali wannabe's out there. But if you consider a motorbike helmet your headwear of choice after being fully geared up, I consider that to be like a grown man who still drinks from a sippy cup. If you are looking to protect yourself against melee after getting geared up, you're obviously looking for trouble since the only melee heavy zones in the map are the places where people spawn.

 

Payday Masks: Anyone who wears this is covering their face because they either like Payday, or think they look intimidating. And, if you really think about it, Payday is a game about robbing banks, and a synonym for Robber is Bandit.

 

Full Military Gear: Now, obviously everyone hopes to get full camo and high-cap vests and such, but usually the people who do have these things, have nothing better to do than get in firefights or mess with new spawns.

 

Cowboy hats: Now, you Americans are gonna hate me for this, but speaking from experience, people who wear cowboy hats are ALWAYS bandits. ESPECIALLY if they wear respirators and aviator sunglasses along with it. Kill these dudes on sight, no regrets.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

 

That's about it for now. Hate me all you want, but this is just my personal way of dealing with the scumbags that everyone loathes.

Add any bandit types you know of or I missed below!

Your logic is flawed, i wear cowboy hats when i can with glasses, i am no bandit. I despise bandits, or atleast the kos scum we call bandits that dont even think before shooting.

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  On 7/19/2014 at 7:11 AM, NinjaTurkey said:

Your logic is flawed, i wear cowboy hats when i can with glasses, i am no bandit. I despise bandits, or atleast the kos scum we call bandits that dont even think before shooting.

Ah, when I see people with cowboy hats, I stalk them until I can get a nice headshot lined up so I can ruin that fuckin' ugly ass hat.

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  On 7/19/2014 at 3:44 PM, Daemonkid said:

Ah, when I see people with cowboy hats, I stalk them until I can get a nice headshot lined up so I can ruin that fuckin' ugly ass hat.

 

My AKM may just have something to say about that ;)

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OP seems to be really mad about people shooting other people in a sandbox game.

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I am suddenly and inexplicably compelled to drop all of my gear and to run as fast as I can straight to Green Mountain.

 

What just happened to me?  :huh:

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  On 7/19/2014 at 5:55 PM, wartzilla said:

OP seems to be really mad about people shooting other people in a sandbox game.

 

I never said that. I shoot people too. Not for shits and giggles of course, but I still kill people. I'm no neer-do-well angel from outer space here to stop all bandits. I'm neutral.

 

I don't get killed by bandits or other players, heck I haven't seen another player in-game for a week. 90% of my deaths are from Green Mountain

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The motobike helmet provides as much protection from bullets as a ballistic helmet while also protecting you from being punched in the face.

 

Also if you play at night it conceals the face so you have a darker profile

 

Not a bandit just cause you wear a motobike helemt

 

but that goes for most things

 

I personally kill all the cowboy hat guys cause I feel they are all bandits as well

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Too bad at night everyone uses the gamma trick so profile doesnt mean a damn thing lol xD

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Cowboy hat wearers are the good guys you fools! 

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