WTF my character needs to poop! Help please!

[Ratter (DayZ) 11]

Just logged on and and in the bottom corner of the screen it said "I really need a shit" then it said "If I don't go for a Shit things are going to get messy" So loged out of the game imediately as I don't want to soil my pristine combat trousers. I am going to sound like a heavily armed toddler now but can some one please teach me how to go for a dump and do I need to wipe after (never thought I would have to ask this question at 31)?!?! Or is it a windup message on the server? Any help please!

[Gobbokirk 546]

You have been trolled.

Or trying to troll :)

[nuggit 246]

Hi Ratter

 

It seems you were trolled! Server message at start seems to be your culprit.

[flygamer1 176]

Troll server no worries

[Leo Balzac 190]

Pooping in DayZ is easy. I'll lay out the steps

 

1) Go to any major town

2) Go to the middle of the largest intersection

3) Crouch and await the poop

4) DON'T MOVE! If you move, you risk rupturing your colon, leading to death

5) Wait until you get the "I feel satisfied now" message

[Leo Balzac 190]

You have been trolled.

Or trying to troll :)

 

 

Hi Ratter

 

It seems you were trolled! Server message at start seems to be your culprit.

 

 

Troll server no worries

 

ARGH, you guys.....c'mon

[Irish. 4886]

This thread is shitty. 

[doctorwhy 157]

Could also be the admin in global chat.

Sometimes on my server I'd go to global chat and name off a random person on the list and say 

"I see you,  you can't see me.  I'm going to kill you"

Knowing they were probably shitting their pants.

[Ratter (DayZ) 11]

Pooping in DayZ is easy. I'll lay out the steps

 

1) Go to any major town

2) Go to the middle of the largest intersection

3) Crouch and await the poop

4) DON'T MOVE! If you move, you risk rupturing your colon, leading to death

5) Wait until you get the "I feel satisfied now" message

Thanks for the advice I shall take my trousers off between step 2 and 3 to avoid any accidents.

[Leo Balzac 190]

Thanks for the advice I shall take my trousers off between step 2 and 3 to avoid any accidents.

Yes, my apologies, I forgot that step.

 

Hopefully in a future update the Devs will implement adult diapers, so that you can poop anywhere and just remove the diaper.

[Meenos 47]

yeah, people can put in any types of messages when you log in, making you think your character is saying that or simular.

 

Ive gotten scary messages like.

 

- My crouch feels itchy!

- Dont be scared!

- i am here (simular)

[Gobbokirk 546]

ARGH, you guys.....c'mon

But but we can't be mean all the time :P

I admit your version was funny though :D

[Esolu 320]

Holy crap!

[chekovp 89]

I've had a message saying "You feel like someone is watching you." I thought that it might just be one of the server's MOTDs, but my friend who was right next to me didn't get the message. My friend did however get the message around 20 minutes after, and I did not.

[PJSleaze 111]

You can find laxatives in some of the houses and in the jail cell. You can store them in the first aid lot too.

[frosti 2165]

this thread

 

[RagedDrew 209]

Yes, my apologies, I forgot that step.

 

 

I petty the person who washes your cloths.

[Ratter (DayZ) 11]

I petty the person who washes your cloths.

Yeah me too seen smaller skid marks at a race trac.

[JPWiser 251]

Sounds like a shitty situation...

[xenology 61]

Dude have someone stick a machete up your bunghole it may hit a g spot and youll get your release be warned he may bet free reign with what he chooses to do with you

[DirtyscumbagLith 270]

1. contact Steam

2. Ask for a refund

3. Ask your neighbor to punch you in the face

[Black Dynamite 75]

My favorite admin troll message so far: "I am thirsty." They need to change the admin text color, something to distinguish it from ingame messages and BE. I propose magneta.

[pacific_coast 632]

"I'm starting to feel gay."

 

"I'm feeling gay."

 

"I'm feeling really gay."

 

"I'm so gay it hurts."

 

that one's my personal fav admin msg ever.

[antonioajc 500]

"I'm starting to feel gay."

 

"I'm feeling gay."

 

"I'm feeling really gay."

 

"I'm so gay it hurts."

 

that one's my personal fav admin msg ever.

I never get those kind of messages. :c

[pacific_coast 632]

I never get those kind of messages. :c

it's reaaaaalllll