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Matteh

Tell me your stupidest death stories...

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I was guarding a MH-6J that had just spawned on top of the mass grave of corpses, and it needed scrap metal cos ATRQ was red so while I guarded it my m8 went to look for scrap metal. So I sat under that roofed area where the UAZ spawns and a zombie spawned behind me, I ran forward about 5 meters and turn around to shoot it. The first bullet hits it in the head but it didn't care and when it punched me I think it missed and hit the tail rotor of the little bird and then it blew up and caused the building to collapse on me and kill me. I laughed so much.

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I was on a roof while it was raining. So I stepped to the left and kept sliding until I went off the roof and then went *splat*

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A couple of hours (and deaths) after i first started playing DayZ (around June or July, i got arma 2 CO during the steam sale) I spawned in Elektro and looted the firestation, church, school, and bar I found an AK in the station and a Makarov in the school. I then see another survivor, bleeding and walking past the little grocery store with a double-barrel, i yell friendly and he reply's friendly back to me, so i go and bandage him and tell him he's bleeding, he says thanks, then promptly shoots me in the face, twice. Learnt not to trust people with double-barrels that day.....

Edited by z11ab

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Tried a private hive yesterday evening.

Pop up on Balota, found a nice pickup car, fully fueled, got a drive to Cherno, entered town full speed, forgot to turn when needed,*BOUM*!

Got to remember i'm not playing Shift...

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I ran to debug plains wondering if there's a city nearby.

Needless to say, I didn't find one, got back and later got killed by zombies.

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An admin killed me. I have this friend who likes to derp around... a lot. He dies all the time. We try to steer clear of him, lol. Anyways, the admin had a really nice chopper, an Mi-17. We were all at the airfield and his chopper was there. I assume he was looting one of the chopper crash sites nearby. We were all friendly with the admins which is why he had no problem with me sitting in his chopper. My friend decides to get in the pilot seat and start the chopper up. The admin warns him once to leave the chopper alone. My friend starts it up again, turns it off, decides to switch seats, and out of nowhere, I fucking die. The admin accidently shot me because my friend decided to move. Oh God, the rage I felt. I was so angry because I had just recently recieved my hero skin and I lost it when I respawned. The admin felt terrible. I rage logged. A little while after, I decided to accept the admin's apology and proceeded to make my friend a KoS target for the bandits and whoever else wanted to side with me for the next 2-3 days. For some strange reason though, the server disappeared a few days after. I miss that server and my favorite admins. =(

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Well, I just began playing Dayz, wandering around up north because I had nothing else to do except walk around.

I was merrily walking about on the roads, when I saw a bike parked next to some trees. Then I thought, "A bike? Why is that laying around?"

Then a guy with a m1911 and in a camo suit came out of the trees and spam-shot me.

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So, are frags rare?

Anyway, literally the first time I spawned, I ran into a fire station because it looked secure, found a frag, and promptly turned myself into a fine red mist. The side chat went insane.

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How To: Stupid deaths.

1) Crawl into tent... die.

2) Combat-roll over tent, onto beartrap, breaking legs, glitch through nearby vehicle, get crushed.

3) Place and arm beartrap, remove beartrap, walk forward, break legs where beartrap used to be, sniper bait.

4) Give admin a ride to his base, get blown up by satchle charge that the admin placed on the chopper after getting out.

5) Get a blackhawk smashed into you by admin while he plays "flight of the valkyries" on global chat.

6) Yell "FRIENDLY!!!" after being shot once by each man in a 3 man squad, instead of shooting back.

7) Alt-tab without realizing the 20 zombies slightly to the left of your FOV

8) Attempt to walk from one corner of the map to the other without realizing you'll need food and water to do so, die, try again.

9) Vault slightly -past- the ledge you need to stand on to access ladder

10) Run 3,000 meters only to stop for a moment and have a marathon-running zombie that has been chasing you since 3 towns ago run into you full speed and give you a sonic-speed-bitchslap knocking you out, making you bleed, and breaking your legs (c-c-c-combo!) at which point you will wake up just in time for the zombie to gulp down the last 10 points of your blood (and most of your major organ systems)

--all this happened within my first 48 hours on DayZ.

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I fired a gun in a town on takistan and tons of zombies came for me so I ran to a building and took refuge, however zombies blocked the stairs and me shortly running out of ammo sprinted to the balcony to try and hide, I heard a guys voice saying, "Jump on my head it won't hurt you" I went to jump and it did indeed hurt me and I passed out was eaten by zombies.

I believe i'm in a youtube video somewhere as I later found out the guy was making youtube videos but can't find it

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Running along edge of the roof of a building, my cat jumps onto my keyboard and my character runs off the side of then building to his death. My cats are weird, they somehow disconnect my keyboard every time they walk by my computer which has also caused me to die a few times in various games.

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On my first time on DayZ, I climbed onto a building when I was being chased by zombies. I thought there might have been some loot up there. But, obviously, there wasn't. I then decided that I was not going to make it to cherno so I jumped off, having ran out off ammo shooting zombies earlier. I respawned and headed in a random direction along the coast, coming to the same building surrounded by the zombies I unwillingly led there earlier. I shot as many as I could before running out of ammo again. In a moment of panic I climbed the building again. Since there was still no loot up there, I jumped off the building a second time.

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Buddy ejects from little bird, little bird blows up, falls on other buddy at tent.

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Usually barracks are friendly... ...well, I was loot cycling lingor prison barracks, and my friend is with me, and were fooling around. So, thought it'd be a good idea to crawl around, little did I know that opening a door while laying down in baracks kills you...

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So, are frags rare?

Anyway, literally the first time I spawned, I ran into a fire station because it looked secure, found a frag, and promptly turned myself into a fine red mist. The side chat went insane.

Oou frag c': ........ ...*poof* c':

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Mine are all combat:

I was new. It may have even been my first life ever (if I remember right).

I was down near the coast. I'd gotten a Enfield, a Makarov, a map, some beans, and Pepsis and Cokes. The basics.

I had managed to get trapped on the second floor of a barn with two or three zombies on the stairs. I was badly injured.

I had my Enfield out and I was curious. I fired.

My gosh, I wasn't expecting that. Seriously, every zombie for miles was right in front of me. They seemed endless. I wasted all my ammo in my pistol AND Enfield before I went down.

My second story:

I was still fairly new and had the basic supplies, just like my last story. I was trying to do my first Cherno loot run, but I managed to get myself trapped on the roof of a three story building. The only way down was a ladder that had five or six zombies at the bottom.

Common sense for an experienced player would be to hide and wait for them to leave or toss a few cans to distract them. But I was new. I got impatient. I climbed down, planning to drop down and run when I got close to the ground.

*CRACK*

As soon as I hit the ground, my legs snap. I lose so much blood that I go unconscious. I inevitably die very quickly.

Edited by colekern

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A couple of days ago I was in Dubrovka, and all of the sudden I hear a chopper above me. I asked the pilot for a lift and he told me to show my position. The chopper made all the zombies in the village to go wild and they aggroed on me. I ran from the zombies with my FAL equipped towards the landing chopper. I wasn't sure if he saw me or not so I decided to switch to my G17 to show him where I'm coming from with my flashlight turned on. Well, I tried switching weapons with a massive zombie horde behind me because I forgot that you have to stop to do it. The first zombie Mike Tyson'd me and then I got swarmed. I lost my 2 weeks old character because I forgot an easy to remember thing. I was just freaking mad at myself lol.

What happened to the pilot?

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I fell off that huge radio tower thing on top of a mountain that you can see from real far away. I glitched through the guardrail made a nice stain on the ground. My buddy told me that all he saw was my body hit the floor. Lost my ghillie too

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This one is easy

Stood at the top of a castle, tried to hit 'B' for my binoculars and instead hit 'V' to vault straight over the wall to my death

Lol i've rebinded my vault key to 'J' solely for this reason ;D

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One simple word: Helis

- while writing in chat (qesssssssssssssssssssssssssssss) ;-)

- push "eject" in low hight by accident

- push "motor off" in big height by accident

- starting without auto hover near building

or simple ...

- Being passenger in a heli ;-)

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- Commando rolling off a deer stand early on without morphine assuming my legs would stay intact, resulting in an early lunch for the zombies.

- Threw a molotov at my broken down UAZ out of frustration, managed to break my legs whilst throwing it and was engulfed by flames

- Jumped out of a moving vehicle whilst my brother was driving at full speed

- Got excited when I found my first Helicopter, flew it into the tries and exploded.

- Got excited when I got my first ghille suit, ran out in the middle of Cherno with it on.

The ratio of stupid deaths to reasonable/glorious deaths is probably 10:1 for me.

Edited by tommy-xx

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A few days ago I did a fresh spawn on a new server and found two guys in ghilie suits and they gave me a ride in a bus to their camp, expecting to be killed when they stopped and got out at their camp they both pointed at me in the car we had ditched the bus for and I panicked and jumped in the driver seat drove about 20 feet and took an as50 round in the head, then in side chat they asked why I had run and I said cause they were gunna kill me, yet replied "why would we show you our camp and then kill you..., we were gunna give you our spare as50..."

Yep I felt like a retard.

Looking back if you look at an object in DayZ obviously your weapon does to they had looked back to see if I'd gotten out of the car yet.

Edited by CF Mallard
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At the top of a ladder.. I accidentally clicked "drop".

Fell 75ft or so to broken legs and almost zero health, full alice pack w/good gear.. the Zeds ate my broken body in less than 5 seconds. Felt like an idiot. :)

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