Tell me your stupidest death stories...

[Matteh 63]

40 day character - pitches tent deep into in tree, lies down and circles the tree to try to access the tent. Tree kills character.

18 day character - falls off the dam accidentally, and is amazed to survive. Swims out as mate arrives. 'Check this out'. Splash. Dead.

24 day character - Past dusk at Olsha, with ghillie + Mk48 + DMR + NVG + rangefinder + coyote. I was just about to log-off and camp the spawned chopper in the morning, when a player crouches three feet to my right, unaware of my presence. She starts looking around and must surely see my silhouette in the next second or two, giving me no option than to shoot her in the head. Unfortunately her six newly-spawned squad mates were right behind us, all totally unaware that I was there until I fired. I, fully geared, got hatcheted to death by an angry mob ten seconds before I was due to log-off anyway.

Ah those damn axe wielding murder clans! Pesky little bastards!

[Lido 54]

New one just bloody happened. Driving by Vybor, no gear as I recently died, and out of nowhere from under the bridge a guy with an axe shoots my wheels with a makorov. I start running, and he goes "COME BACK HERE AND FEED MY CHILDREN!"

Hide out in a barn, and he just keeps going "Helloooo~....? HELLOOOOO~~~!??" Then suddenly goes "THERE YOU ARE" and the front door closes, side door opens, and he guts me.

It was scary.... I lost a bike. :c

Edited January 19, 2013 by Lido

[Spentmind 23]

Climbed on the tallest building in cherno, fell off the edge onto the platform below, bandaged, morphined, then glitched through the rail and fell again to my death.

[Matteh 63]

New one just bloody happened. Driving by Vybor, no gear as I recently died, and out of nowhere from under the bridge a guy with an axe shoots my wheels with a makorov. I start running, and he goes "COME BACK HERE AND FEED MY CHILDREN!"

Hide out in a barn, and he just keeps going "Helloooo~....? HELLOOOOO~~~!??" Then suddenly goes "THERE YOU ARE" and the front door closes, side door opens, and he guts me.

It was scary.... I lost a bike. :c

Ahaha I'd actually love to come across a maniac like that one day..

Climbed on the tallest building in cherno, fell off the edge onto the platform below, bandaged, morphined, then glitched through the rail and fell again to my death.

I had one similar when I had nvg's a ghillie suit and an m4a1 SD I went into Cherno just to get some food and drink, running along the docks when I suddenly fell through and broke my legs then ended up bleeding to death because I was stuck in the ocean...

[MissSweeney 105]

A lot of my recent deaths have been because of my bandit skin. I got it without losing humanity points and lost it without gaining any humanity points. Not sure what the hell happened, but I had to be a loner for those couple of weeks because everyone would kill me on site! Doesn't count as a stupid death, but just posting in case anyone else might know why it happened.

That hiding under a bridge and shooting out tires thing is a great idea btw, I might try it for shits and giggles!

[Spentmind 23]

A lot of my recent deaths have been because of my bandit skin. I got it without losing humanity points and lost it without gaining any humanity points. Not sure what the hell happened, but I had to be a loner for those couple of weeks because everyone would kill me on site! Doesn't count as a stupid death, but just posting in case anyone else might know why it happened.

That hiding under a bridge and shooting out tires thing is a great idea btw, I might try it for shits and giggles!

I love lone-wolfing, so being a bandit isn't so bad, just treat everyone as an enemy and you'll be fine!

Another stupid death that happened a while ago, my mate and I were out scavenging on a motor bike, when we came across a bus driving around presumably doing the same thing there were 4 people in the bus. Now 2v4 wouldn't normally be a problem, we've had worse odds and came out on top however the problem was I was using an m107 and he decided to pull up right beside them. So we both died very quickly and I proceeded to rage at him for being a dumbass.

Edited January 20, 2013 by Spentmind

[Soundddd 4]

This was stupidity on my part.

After an 8 hour run on my second round of the game, me and my friend playing a 300+ vehicle server, we were about to log when low and behold we found two choppers in the woods. It was about 7 in the morning and we were both very tired, he went round one side of the choppers and I the other. He jumped in the chopper on the gun (which was facing the side I was scouting) and I was suddenly faced with a survivor looking at me with a big gun, I unloaded my pistol into this sudden appereance successfully making my first kill... quickly followed up by my friend going into a fit of rage over TS. What didnt help is that there was only one other survivor on at the time.

[Matteh 63]

A lot of my recent deaths have been because of my bandit skin. I got it without losing humanity points and lost it without gaining any humanity points. Not sure what the hell happened, but I had to be a loner for those couple of weeks because everyone would kill me on site! Doesn't count as a stupid death, but just posting in case anyone else might know why it happened.

That hiding under a bridge and shooting out tires thing is a great idea btw, I might try it for shits and giggles!

I also recently got a bandit skin not sure how, I had a hero skin, logged out and when I came back had a normal skin, killed someone in self defence after they start shooting me and then BAM I was a bandit.

[hogscraper 328]

Two times recently the game trolled me hard enough that it made me want to uninstall.

First one I was bored so I start exploring the map. I find this rusty, half sunken ship off the coast to the north east of the map. I figure if the map maker put it there he must have wanted people to check it out. I swim out to it and five feet away my leg breaks then I instantly die.

My longest played, most kitted out guy was recently in a vehicle driving north out of Electro heading towards Berezino. Everyone else in the server had logged out as it was getting late, (local time), and I just wanted to look for a tent before I logged out myself. Then, for no reason, my car explodes. Fully green, open road and it just explodes with no one else on the server. As I'm yelling WTF? I realize that I didn't die. I was low enough on blood that my screen was going out of focus and I couldn't stand up without being knocked out. I logged out for the night and the next day spend around three hours crawling on my stomach looking for food to eat or a car to put my gear in. I finally make it to Berezino, find a car and get in. As I switch to the passenger seat to access the gear section the server freezes and kicks everyone off. After waiting for a restart I log in standing in the vehicle then instantly die.

[Matteh 63]

Two times recently the game trolled me hard enough that it made me want to uninstall.

First one I was bored so I start exploring the map. I find this rusty, half sunken ship off the coast to the north east of the map. I figure if the map maker put it there he must have wanted people to check it out. I swim out to it and five feet away my leg breaks then I instantly die.

My longest played, most kitted out guy was recently in a vehicle driving north out of Electro heading towards Berezino. Everyone else in the server had logged out as it was getting late, (local time), and I just wanted to look for a tent before I logged out myself. Then, for no reason, my car explodes. Fully green, open road and it just explodes with no one else on the server. As I'm yelling WTF? I realize that I didn't die. I was low enough on blood that my screen was going out of focus and I couldn't stand up without being knocked out. I logged out for the night and the next day spend around three hours crawling on my stomach looking for food to eat or a car to put my gear in. I finally make it to Berezino, find a car and get in. As I switch to the passenger seat to access the gear section the server freezes and kicks everyone off. After waiting for a restart I log in standing in the vehicle then instantly die.

Yeah I've seen people put tents on that ship to troll people over to kill them!

As for the car I know some of the roads are glitchy, the same thing happened to us with a quad bike.

[King Tubbs 224]

running along the hills on the south coast looking around for bandits

ran on to some steep rocks (not looking where i was going) fell off and splat

that dude was alive for 52 hours :(

Edited January 20, 2013 by King Tubbs

[DaestE 10]

Happened a few days ago, me and a buddy were on a private hive, and we had 2 (out of 300) vehicles, one loaded with his gear. Towards our break, me on my small 2 man vehicle got shot in the air (for an unknown reason) and summer saulted over a tree. Miraculously I survived? and he came in. So as we were about to log off for a server reset I hurl a grenade, and it somehow kills us both.

So he comes back and gives the coordinates to where we were, I find his shit and get in his car to meet him, and as I'm driving a rusted car pops up in the middle of the road and I crash it head on.

All the loot gone, friend of 8 years blocked me for this lol. Its amazing how much of a shit people can give about equips and cars on a private hive.

But I guess the grenade that I threw into the trees, and ricocheted killing us both, definitely one of my most stupid deaths.

[themurdertrain 33]

I was fully kitted out. MK48, DMR, Ghille, and almost every tool. I check something on skype real quick, and come back into the game. I tried to send a message to help a bambi with a question, and I must have hit enter twice because I was ejected from the truck we were driving in and died instantly.

My gear was saved, and I spawned within walking distance of a fully repaired and fueled heli right outside of BZ but still a stupid death.

[Matteh 63]

My most recent one yesterday;

I agreed to meet with a friend at NWAF, I arrived before him and decided to scout out. alot of zeds had spawned by the western barracks, so I got my binocs out and saw 2 guys running around.

One had a DMR, the other an AS50.

I informed my friend and luckily he had our m107 with him.

I watched as these 2 guys carelessly just ran across the airfield, they could have been killed at any moment.

Once my friend arrived I ran round to him using the trees for cover, he didn't feel confident with the rifle so gave it to me (hes still quite new to the game), we looked over to the last known area we had seen them in, but could no longer find them.

Suddenly a guy on a bicycle fell from the sky and began cycling in cirlces in front of me, then he cycled off to where my friend was laying prone in a pine tree, suddenly he transformed into a guy and was yelling "KILL ME SEAN KILL MEEEEEEEEE" Over direct comms.

We're not sure how he knew his name seeing as name plates were switched off on the server, anyway my friend hacks him to death with an axe to keep things quiet, once that was dealt with we again continue to look for our targets.

I spot alot of zombies spawning near the control tower so zoom in and scan the area, suddenly I see the DMR guy prone under a tree observing the area, I take a shot which should have killed him but it hit the tree, which for some reason eats bullets :(

I shot a few more times but to no avail, suddenly a chopper shows up with door gunners, I pop a shot at the pilot, cracking the glass, and with 1 shot left in the rifle I decided to get out of there, I threw a smoke grenade to distract the zombies around me and the other players but it glitched in the tree, revealing my position, anyway I ran like hell out of there only to get ambushed by the AS50 guy in the woods. :(

[bsturak2@verizon.net 86]

So me and my friend were randomly driving around and headed into the woods with our car. After 2 or so hours of driving, we saw a couple ATV's just out in the woods. We looked around more and saw 6 choppers, a plan, 2 big trucks, and a car. We looked around in the vehicles, found a few medical things, nothing big. So my friend, he decided to try and fly a chopper because he didnt know how to (Nor did I). He then crashed the chopper, somehow survived, and blew up like half of the vehicles. I though, what an idiot. So then I was going to one of the trucks and when I searched it, it had a DMR, M240, MK 48 (I think it was 48, I took this gun) Ghille suits, you name it, it was their. So I had 400 rounds for my MK. I told my friend to get over here, so when he didnt I told him "Get the F*** over here and loot this truck. So when he finished looting, someone yelled at us to drop our weapons and walk away. They said we were surrounded. So I bolted for the drivers seat of the truck and my friend got in the passenger seat. I drove us away and we didnt get fired at. After like 10 minutes of driving, The administrator of the server told us it was his stuff and we had to return it or die. Obviously I kept driving cause I was so excited. I stole all of the admins guns! We were debating wether to blow up the truck, hide it, or just ditch. So maybe another 15 minutes driving, I stop for a second to type and then bullets rain down on us. Immediately I got out and ran into the woods, which was only about 50m away. My friend, he got in the drivers seat, started driving and then I saw the chopper blow him sky high. Luckily, I was hidden well with my ghille. But I was lost, with no map, or vehicle. So I walk for maybe 2 minutes, find a barn and go inside. I got some food but nothing good. I also had to shoot a few zombies, but I had loads of ammo so it was ok. I then walk out of the barn, and a sniper is shooting at me and I dont know where he is. I run in the barn and decide to run out the other door. When Im running up a hill right outside I get shot at again and the sniper kills me.

So, when I respawn the admin told me he doesnt care about the whole situation, he just didnt want people to have all those guns. So, I start talking to the guy that killed me and he said I ran straight at him up the hill and was meters away from him. He then asks why we didnt fly away in a chopper to escape and I tell him we didnt know how to fly. So he brings me a chopper and teaches me how to fly! But I then crash and die. He again brings me a chopper, I crash again. This time I live though, and he brings me another one. I lived this time.

So basically we fought, got sniped meters away without seeing him, and then he gave me flying lessons.

[Matteh 63]

So me and my friend were randomly driving around and headed into the woods with our car. After 2 or so hours of driving, we saw a couple ATV's just out in the woods. We looked around more and saw 6 choppers, a plan, 2 big trucks, and a car. We looked around in the vehicles, found a few medical things, nothing big. So my friend, he decided to try and fly a chopper because he didnt know how to (Nor did I). He then crashed the chopper, somehow survived, and blew up like half of the vehicles. I though, what an idiot. So then I was going to one of the trucks and when I searched it, it had a DMR, M240, MK 48 (I think it was 48, I took this gun) Ghille suits, you name it, it was their. So I had 400 rounds for my MK. I told my friend to get over here, so when he didnt I told him "Get the F*** over here and loot this truck. So when he finished looting, someone yelled at us to drop our weapons and walk away. They said we were surrounded. So I bolted for the drivers seat of the truck and my friend got in the passenger seat. I drove us away and we didnt get fired at. After like 10 minutes of driving, The administrator of the server told us it was his stuff and we had to return it or die. Obviously I kept driving cause I was so excited. I stole all of the admins guns! We were debating wether to blow up the truck, hide it, or just ditch. So maybe another 15 minutes driving, I stop for a second to type and then bullets rain down on us. Immediately I got out and ran into the woods, which was only about 50m away. My friend, he got in the drivers seat, started driving and then I saw the chopper blow him sky high. Luckily, I was hidden well with my ghille. But I was lost, with no map, or vehicle. So I walk for maybe 2 minutes, find a barn and go inside. I got some food but nothing good. I also had to shoot a few zombies, but I had loads of ammo so it was ok. I then walk out of the barn, and a sniper is shooting at me and I dont know where he is. I run in the barn and decide to run out the other door. When Im running up a hill right outside I get shot at again and the sniper kills me.

So, when I respawn the admin told me he doesnt care about the whole situation, he just didnt want people to have all those guns. So, I start talking to the guy that killed me and he said I ran straight at him up the hill and was meters away from him. He then asks why we didnt fly away in a chopper to escape and I tell him we didnt know how to fly. So he brings me a chopper and teaches me how to fly! But I then crash and die. He again brings me a chopper, I crash again. This time I live though, and he brings me another one. I lived this time.

So basically we fought, got sniped meters away without seeing him, and then he gave me flying lessons.

I thought he was going to turn out to be a douche admin that bans you for finding their camp but he sounds really cool!

[Slizzard 5]

Mine actually happened tonight. I was playing on the Namalsk server, just found a DMR and had plenty of loot, was rather excited so decided to head out of the bunker I was in. I reached the top of the ladder, but crouched so I wouldn't attract as many zombies, however I fell down the hole in the floor and since I was already pretty low on blood I died. I sat at the "YOU ARE DEAD" screen for a few minutes then Alt+F4'd. It was a rather sad experience for me. :/

[bsturak2@verizon.net 86]

I thought he was going to turn out to be a douche admin that bans you for finding their camp but he sounds really cool!

Ya, I thought so too, but actually I just logged off of that server (Because A chopper was shooting at me and I had good stuff) and I talked to the owner and he said it was funny to him and the others.

[Matteh 63]

Mine actually happened tonight. I was playing on the Namalsk server, just found a DMR and had plenty of loot, was rather excited so decided to head out of the bunker I was in. I reached the top of the ladder, but crouched so I wouldn't attract as many zombies, however I fell down the hole in the floor and since I was already pretty low on blood I died. I sat at the "YOU ARE DEAD" screen for a few minutes then Alt+F4'd. It was a rather sad experience for me. :/

Sympathy Beans Bro

[Conzolax 16]

I was running in the north, pretty close to the debug field, but still in the forest.

I decided that this would be the place to make a camp.

So, i placed my tent between two trees, but somehow after that, it wouldnt let me interact with it.

While i was crawling around the tent, trying to get "gear" menu to popup, i just heard a "crack".

Bam, all bones broken, instant death. Back to the beach.

Was a pretty long damn walk all the way back from kamenka. -.-

Now, the second story doesnt involve me dying, but some random dude :)

I was just running into Berenzino after a respawn, coming from the forest.

It was nighttime, so it was pretty dark. And i knew there was people in Berenzino,

because the zombies had spawned before i got close.

However, i ran towards the hospital, but since i didnt have an axe to break the windows, i decided to check the back / roof.

I checked the back and there was nothing, so up the ladder i went.

While climbing, i heard some "shuffling" on the roof, followed by a second of silence.

And then a "crack, Aaargh!" from below me :o

A guy had camped the roof, and while i was climbing up, he apparently fell of the roof while trying to get me in his sights.

..i simply had to stand still for a minute because i was laughing so hard. :D

Edited January 21, 2013 by Conzolax

[Ansssi 184]

I once just... died.

:huh:

Edited January 21, 2013 by Ansssi

[Easy_Tiger (DayZ) 33]

My server turned to night last night and i didnt have any NV so I went to the nearest super market and threw some chemlights down. After looting I went to throw another, unfortunately i didnt press f enough and ended throwing a frag grenade which bounced of the pitch blackness in front of me and blew up in my face!

[Velvet Remedy 11]

Buddy of mine was pretending he lost control of our Littlebird. Then his wireless mouse died while we were over water. Bottom of the ocean in ten seconds flat. I'm told you could see the fireball from the beach.

[Khatolic 5]

i was at the top of a fire station in cherno. i was in prone position looking at the market. i wanted to check if noone is coming up the ladder so i pressed Q to lean left, i was in prone. i rolled down and died.

[terminal_boy 860]

Mine usually feature my venturing far off the beaten track after thinking that there would be plenty of wildlife to hunt for food. Which I wouldn't mind so much if animals didn't always appear close to me as I lay there dying..

Have died twice trying to climb rocks and once when I got crushed by a garden gate.

I keep forgetting to crouch before going prone in deer stands and the ARMA 2 engine rewards this mistake by running 2 steps into thin air. This shouldn't be fatal, but both times I did this, I didn't have bandages or morphine and died crawling to the nearest loot..