The dumbest/funniest things you've seen in DayZ?

[Testwd3r235 2810]

I'm slightly losing my faith in humanity: http://dayzmod.com/forum/index.php?/topic/116030-error-code-4541/#entry1097249

[Vincenzo (DayZ) 97]

I'm slightly losing my faith in humanity: http://dayzmod.com/f...1/#entry1097249

Sometimes.. SOMETIMES... I was smarter when I was in my mother's womb.

[deceitfulburger 43]

Oh god, I found another guy who tormented me with his un-ability to type a sentence: http://dayzmod.com/f...y/#entry1097232

*sniff* That thread reeks of idiocy.

[deceitfulburger 43]

This is pretty dumb too, why do "pirates" expect help? Lol'ed.

*edit* forgot to add link to topic, add a place of honour for me here too. Anyways: http://dayzmod.com/f...pirate-problem/

Edited January 6, 2013 by DeceitfulBurger

[Testwd3r235 2810]

This is pretty dumb too, why do "pirates" expect help? Lol'ed.

*edit* forgot to add link to topic, add a place of honour for me here too. Anyways: http://dayzmod.com/f...pirate-problem/

I forgot about that one. :)

[XChrisUnknownX 1]

My friend goes "I'm going to test something, tell me if the zombies start chasing us." at the NW airfield.

Snipes a zombie from quite a distance, several of them begin storming towards us. I tell him get up, run, we've got to go. As I'm turning to run, I inexplicably begin running in place, no lag/disconnection indicator. After about ten seconds I can move again, and the zombies are gone. My friend didn't do anything except fire the shot...

Later that night...

We're near that Grichdosdfow town east of the airfield, we loot a crash site near the church and then head in the direction that we think the airfield is in. We ran straight for about three minutes. Suddenly, we saw a church in the distance! And another crash site! YAY -- wait...It was the same exact place. Despite swearing to God we'd been running forward, we'd arrived where we started three minutes prior.

[AfterShave 140]

Some shit can and his pilot buddy were trying to gun me down with their heli in Cherno, they were so focused they rammed head on into a building.

Edited January 7, 2013 by AfterShave

[rabidgerbil 80]

i decided to play on a public server recently after not playing for ages, it was night time and i just spawned near balota, all of a sudden i can hear a chopper so i run and hide underneath the camo netting (i know i could have done better, but i was unarmed so i didnt care) the chopper hovered just infront of me (god they found me quick and easy..strange huh) well the gunner fired about 100 rounds at me and i was just lying still.....he didnt hit me once, even after the pilot lowered the helicopter so they could shoot under the netting. i had rounds hitting to my left and right, but none on me. worst....aim...ever...

[deceitfulburger 43]

Some shit can and his pilot buddy were trying to gun me down with their heli in Cherno, they were so focused they rammed head on into a building.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[zfleming12 395]

There I am crawling along into Electro, working my way slowly inwards in the tall bush when all of a sudden I hear someone tooting the circus song and running along as a swarm of zombies chased after him.

Another crazy moment was me running from a swarm of zombies and making my way into a firestation. I find a bandit with a hatchet at the high end of the tower who runs AWAY from me and right into the swarm of the zombies. What a mess..

[MrMerc 12]

So there I was, in Cherno, minding my own business when over direct a group of Medics(4 guys) asked if I wanted to team up. (It was more along the lines of, "Were going to pick someone up, friendly or die.") So I join them and they have me dump all of my eqpt and haul jerry cans to a heli they had hidden off in the boony's. Once embarked on the helicopter we fly to their friend up north. We land and go to heal their buddy when out of nowhere someone snipes our pilot, firefight ensues and we win. (Now me and 3 guys) At this point there is mass VOIP chatter about no one knowing how to fly and 'this helicopter is too valuable to let some half-way pilot fly' blablabla... and we need to get to the pilot who was all the way across map. I chime in and claim I can fly great, ill pick up my gear they had me drop and then go pick up the pilot. After a lengthy persuasion they agree so I get in the chopper, load everyone up and tell them to load in gear, we take off and I head towards the pilot.

We find the pilot running along the coastal highway and without hesitation I nosedive the chopper into the ground within eye sight of the pilot. I promptly told/taught them a lesson in kidnapping and proceeded to be hunted for the remainder of the night.

[deceitfulburger 43]

So there I was, in Cherno, minding my own business when over direct a group of Medics(4 guys) asked if I wanted to team up. (It was more along the lines of, "Were going to pick someone up, friendly or die.") So I join them and they have me dump all of my eqpt and haul jerry cans to a heli they had hidden off in the boony's. Once embarked on the helicopter we fly to their friend up north. We land and go to heal their buddy when out of nowhere someone snipes our pilot, firefight ensues and we win. (Now me and 3 guys) At this point there is mass VOIP chatter about no one knowing how to fly and 'this helicopter is too valuable to let some half-way pilot fly' blablabla... and we need to get to the pilot who was all the way across map. I chime in and claim I can fly great, ill pick up my gear they had me drop and then go pick up the pilot. After a lengthy persuasion they agree so I get in the chopper, load everyone up and tell them to load in gear, we take off and I head towards the pilot.

We find the pilot running along the coastal highway and without hesitation I nosedive the chopper into the ground within eye sight of the pilot. I promptly told/taught them a lesson in kidnapping and proceeded to be hunted for the remainder of the night.

excellent.

[wooly-back-jack 294]

I was running around in Elektro armed with my trusty winchester when I decided I needed some medical supplies. So off to the hospital I go. Not wanting to give away my passion by shooting the glass I decide to go around back and check the roof. Once I had climbed the ladder I hear someone in direct chat telling me they are friendly and not to shoot. I did not see anyone on the roof so I say ok no problem. After saying that I see a guy roll out from behind one of the chimney things armed with a Lee. I think to myself "oh god this was a trap!!". Then to my amazement the guy kept on rolling and right off the roof he went. After searching his body I found all the medical supplies I needed and a awesome story to share with people.

had me crying laughing :D

Edited January 9, 2013 by wooly-back-jack

[Angryofficer 89]

There was this guy who would parade around the forums showing off his L33T 420 xXBANDITXx skillz of killing fresh-spawns with a sniper rifle from dobry hill yelling carebear that I can't really remember the name of, I think it was reverend killjoy? Basically him and everyone who posts "bandit" montages of shooting unarmed people from a kilometer away are probably the dumbest people/things I've seen.

As for in-game, Taking a pistol, gathering a huge horde of zombies in cherno/elektro, running up to people, shooting their legs out and then letting the zombies eat them is probably the funniest.

Edit: This guy. (Evanbro1)

http://dayzmod.com/forum/index.php?/topic/116774-admin-please-read/

http://dayzmod.com/forum/index.php?/topic/116772-i-was-banded-for-nothing/

And this guy.

http://dayzmod.com/forum/index.php?/topic/116723-untrust-worthy-little-brother/

Edited January 9, 2013 by Angryofficer

[petermann2 19]

Just some hours ago, me and a friend wanted to do a quick Cherno raid, like sneaking in, grabbing some stuff from the firestation, supermarket and hospital and sneak out again. As we finished collecting the stuff we needed, we heard a snipershot from one of the towers which you can only climb by the ladder. So we decided to sneak up on him and take him out.

As we arrived and just started wondering how we could make it up the ladder without him noticing us, we suddenly heard a scream, bones breaking and a death message in the bottom left corner popped up...

The sniper we just wanted to ambush, fell from the tower and "landed" right next to us. :)

[TruckingBucket 10]

So im playing with my friend, where in elektro trying to repair a car, so where going crazy, since we worry alot. So first we see the car we go up to it and we get shot at, my friend dies by a lee enfield, he respawns lucky in elektro and get a hatchet and hunts him down and gets a lee enfield. So hes checking the area while i go to the firestation (I had a winchester) So a guy aproaches me (he had a hatchet) hes lagging because he tried to get me a meter away so then i notice hes hostile i take a shot, then he hits my legs breaking them and just before i fall down i shot him. Then later he comes back for my friend. So i meet 2 idiots in like 2 hours.

Edited January 10, 2013 by TruckingBucket

[TruckingBucket 10]

Oh god, I found another guy who tormented me with his un-ability to type a sentence: http://dayzmod.com/f...y/#entry1097232

That guy is a idiot. Hes too young too play dayz. He hacks and then asks for help which is a stupid move.

[theirongiant 200]

Broke my leg on the mountain between Cherno and Elektro, put a pile of pound coins on the 'W' key, pointed towards Elektro and went to make some lunch. Eventually, about an hour later, drag my ass to the outskirts of town, managed to witness and avoid a number of bandit firefights, make it to the hospital, try to crawl through the window but the transition into the hospital triggers my character to stand up aggro-ing a nearby zombie before I collapse to the ground again. Got eaten to death by the zombie with a morphine injector literally inches from my nose.

[bfisher 561]

This guy on the server I was playing called himself ARNOLD_SCHWARZENEGGER (or some variation thereof). Not particularly funny in and of itself but he stayed on open chat the whole time screaming in Ahnold's accent stuff like GET TO DA CHOPPA! COME ON! I'M HERE! KILL ME NOW!! GHAAAAA!!

[DemonGroover 8836]

Mine isn't so much stupidity, but embarrassment:

I was on Lingor and was pretty low on blood after a heavy gunfight in a Calamar schoolhouse. I was fainting every couple of minutes or so. Close to death i thought "F**k it" so made my way to the nearby barracks, AKM and plenty of ammo in hand. I heard lots of distant gunfire but with my carefree attitude i chose to ignore it. Close to the barracks i aggroed a few zombies so i sprinted to a nearby warehouse, zombie train in tow.

I decided that this would be my last stand and so proceeded to headshot as many Zeds as i could. The stream of Zeds became endless as my ammo slowly began to run out. Suddenly an explosion sounded outside the warehouse, directly behind me. A squeaky voice filled my headphones. "You in the shed..come out with your weapon lowered or i will kill you!"

Now this kid sounded no more than 10 years old so there was no way i was going to surrender, my pride was at stake.

"I'll come out when your balls drop!" was my witty reply. Silence followed and the zeds continued to pour into the warehouse unabated. I continued my killing spree for a few minutes until a figure suddenly appeared in the doorway. "Fuck you Grandad!" my Squeaky Ball-less friend hollered, peppering bullets all around me. I stood, transfixed and amused as i realised he had missed me with every shot, except for hitting a few zeds.

And then i fainted.

Not even Squeaky could miss that shot. And he didn't.

His high pitched squeals of delight were the last thing i heard.

:facepalm:

[Canadian Bacon (DayZ) 1]

Ok so my buddy and I are at a plane crash site, we bail out of the car we were driving to loot, and of course zombies start spawning like crazy. So being the helpful guy I am I jump in the car and try to run zombies over trying to give my partner more time to loot, and I will dammed if I don't hit a zomie sending it flying through the air, right into my partner this not only kills the zombie but my partner as well. You talk about some funny shit....

[RIGHTLY 87]

I was at the Komarovo docks inside the massive industrial building (the one with all the catwalks and such). I found myself an axe and two other players who joined me. Eventually we attracted a shit-ton of zombies to the industrial building and we were fighting and fighting and fighting. Eventually the zombie hoard got so big that one guy made a run for it and escaped (I think), the other one was stupid enough to stay with me and was killed, and me, knowing I wouldn't escape, screamed "THIS IS SPARTA" and ran into the zombie hoard with nothing but my axe, killing as much as I could. My leg was broken, but I just stood back up and leaned on my good one. I killed them all but I was bleeding out badly and had no bandages. I passed out and died.

I cant imagine the reaction of the next person who came by finding a dead guy with an axe surrounded by zombie corpses.

Edited January 11, 2013 by RIGHTLY

[deceitfulburger 43]

Ok so my buddy and I are at a plane crash site, we bail out of the car we were driving to loot, and of course zombies start spawning like crazy. So being the helpful guy I am I jump in the car and try to run zombies over trying to give my partner more time to loot, and I will dammed if I don't hit a zomie sending it flying through the air, right into my partner this not only kills the zombie but my partner as well. You talk about some funny shit....

Woah, flying corpses=lethal weapons.

[Corpselooter 16]

Went to Cherno to get some medical supplies as a fresh spawn someone went to shoot me from the rooftop he stepped of the edge and plummeted to his death. Hilarious got some free gear that day.

[Ansssi 184]

Went to Cherno to get some medical supplies as a fresh spawn someone went to shoot me from the rooftop he stepped of the edge and plummeted to his death. Hilarious got some free gear that day.

What gear did you get?

Edited January 12, 2013 by Ansssi