Gear for Laughs

[Karmaterror 982]

So I decided since its Saturday I need some laughs. Post your best jokes here and the one with the most beans by 6 this evening wins. At that time im willing to come and meet the winner ingame and surrender all my gear as there prize. I currently have an all black cloths loadout with some green pants and shirt for daytime play. LRS mosin, food, drink, and some other bits and bobs...

 

 

All this could be yours....

 

Just make the forum members laugh :)

[kichilron 8550]

Post your best jokes here

 

 

I actually believe you're going to give away your gear.

 

[Lumeria 27]

I believe that this, well simply

 

 

[Karmaterror 982]

hahaha did wonder how paranoid people would be..i can approach unarmed. Or just sit in the open somewhere and let ya kill me. Somewhere with a lot of treeline so you will be able to check from anywhere that im there. ATC tower roof on NWA rifle slung in wave stance?

 

Ah well whoever has trust will win ;)

 

This toons been alive for months....nearly since alpha came out...its time for his story to end in a heroic way :)

[mrSnaku (DayZ) 15]

Man at a bar wants a free drink and the bartender gives him 3 task to do for the free drink.

 

Task 1:Fight the guy at the other end of the bar and kick his ass

 

Task2:There's a mean dog outside with a bad tooth that needs to be pulled with your barehands

 

Task 3:Fuck that whore at the bar and make her yell

 

The man accepts the challenge fights the guy at the other end of the bar and kicks his ass.Next he goes outside to the dog and all that can be heard is the dog yelping.The man then walks back into the bar and says"Alright now wheres that whore with the bad tooth?"

[over9000nukez 199]

its too true.

[over9000nukez 199]

hahaha did wonder how paranoid people would be..i can approach unarmed. Or just sit in the open somewhere and let ya kill me. Somewhere with a lot of treeline so you will be able to check from anywhere that im there. ATC tower roof on NWA rifle slung in wave stance?

 

Ah well whoever has trust will win ;)

 

This toons been alive for months....nearly since alpha came out...its time for his story to end in a heroic way :)

by the way this is in regular or hardcore?

[irl-calibre 744]

what did St. Patrick say when he was driving the snakes out of Ireland?

 

 "Are yiz all right in the back there lads?"

 

 

 

 

^{i'll just get me coat..}

[robophant 102]

i've got better gear

[buddy_cassino 69]

Men have two emotions: hungry and horny. So if you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

[hannibaldaplaya 1095]

[savini 587]

I went to the doctor, all he did was suck blood from my neck. Do not go see Dr. Acula.

 

One of my favorite comedians. Mitch Hedberg.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6tVLvBsBWw

 

Since it's not my own, I forfeit my opportunity.

[Irish. 4886]

[EvilTigerAce 131]

Wife: Okay, today's Friday. Where's your pay envelope?

Man: I already spent all my pay. I bought something for the house.

Wife: What? What could you buy for the house that cost $560?

Man: Eight rounds of drinks.

Edited March 15, 2014 by EvilTigerAce

[pacific_coast 632]

your gear is the only joke here

[herrjon 478]

Tell a funny joke and lose my pink hoodie?  No thanks!

 

Best joke I can come up with is this thread.

[onkel (DayZ) 5]

Bob was in the elevator.

His wife was at home.

And bob was in the elevator...

[blissandpanic 92]

I cant remember where i posted this in the forum before, but here:

 

[strangelyquiet 67]

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scostman all go to the pub. The barman says 'what'll you be having gents?' The Englishman goes first, and orders a pint of London Pride. The Irishman goes next and orders a pint of Guinness. And then the Scotsman orders a pint of McEwan's.

 

The three men then subsequently had a very convivial evening.

 

 

 

Jokes aren't really my thing.

[OrLoK 16186]

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scostman all go to the pub. The barman says 'what'll you be having gents?' The Englishman goes first, and orders a pint of London Pride. The Irishman goes next and orders a pint of Guinness. And then the Scotsman orders a pint of McEwan's.

 

The three men then subsequently had a very convivial evening.

 

 

 

Jokes aren't really my thing.

 I think its ok..

 

[Karmaterror 982]

Little late back but mrSnaku is our winner.....PM away to arrange the meet will report back when its done :)

[blissandpanic 92]

your gear is the only joke here

 

 

Tell a funny joke and lose my pink hoodie?  No thanks!

 

Best joke I can come up with is this thread.

 

 

You two can be evil sometimes but i gotta admit it made me chucke. hehe beanzz! :beans:  :beans:

[Sebidee 167]

What do you call two Spanish firemen?

 

Hose A and Hose B.

 

(You may have to say that out loud)

[Karmaterror 982]

The prize has been claimed :)

 

The transaction...

 

 

The new reborn me...