The day in the life of an utter expert

[Itchysock 35]

ew

 

 

I know, its easy to be lost for words at our levels of pure genius and unchallenged raw expertise - you have been enlightened by just reading that.

 

Just reflect my brother.

[Sooden 301]

i am starting to love this guy, he does have skills but maybe not the ones noted. Maybe we could have some screen shots of your excellence next time?  

[Sawlstone 33]

O you are back, cant get enough after your verbal spiel - think about it logically if you find it possible - the point of the comment is that in a combat situation everyone is at risk. In a dog fight, a battleship on battleship, tank on tank, there is risk of death on all sides. There are lots of variables to take into consideration, I wasn't and will not get into that. Anyone entering electro when me and mooky are there will most certainly be at risk of death.

You are an idiot. Question......do you guys break to have anal sex? Or do you just penetrate and leave it in when playing?

Edited January 10, 2014 by Max Planck
I don't even... Have a days suspension. And please don't do that again.

[mooky32 308]

It isn't bragging if you can do it.

This is however the Internet. We have rules here.

Pics/Video or it didn't happen.

Bragging , I hate those kind of telephone tough guys that always seem to have been in the middle of the action when no one was around. 

 

So as you spotted stating facts cooly and without exageration as I did is in fact just an after action report (that coincidentally could grace any hollywood action movie and would be thee single best thing ever seen on film).

 

Pics/Video yup great things but so easily faked and setup. From the raw emotion and amazingly talented way in which I described the action, you know in your heart that it's simply a mere mortal giving voice to description of tactical genius.

 

Sure I would have been great to film it but as I previously stated I am not setup for that , which will have to change as I think the legend is frankly now out of control.

[mooky32 308]

You are an idiot. Question......do you guys break to have anal sex? Or do you just penetrate and leave it in when playing?

Hey little one, please be respectful of my only equal on this living hell we call Cherno. We are hetro but respect the rights of others to behave as they will. We are luckly enough to have beautiful women as partners and that is all the satifisfaction we need in that department.

Please do not approach Elektro, we don't need non-believers like you. Its very likely our loyal followers will get you before we do.

[damagefilter 34]

You probably already have, embrace it as you will rise better in the resErection - peace brother.

I doubt it, Master Itchy. I haven't visited the land of Elektro in the SA yet :)

Incredible but true.

[Itchysock 35]

You are an idiot. Question......do you guys break to have anal sex? Or do you just penetrate and leave it in when playing?

 

please be respectful to the gods of dayz and post less of your vulgarities - it does not offend me, however more sensitive mortals may feel violated, you are certainly looked down upon by most for your lack of content and basic childish insults.  Wash your face brother and follow the greats and be a better man.

[Sawlstone 33]

please be respectful to the gods of dayz and post less of your vulgarities - it does not offend me, however more sensitive mortals may feel violated, you are certainly looked down upon by most for your lack of content and basic childish insults. Wash your face brother and follow the greats and be a better man.

You do realize your handle is Itchycock? Yeah sorry about my childish insults....

Edited January 9, 2014 by Sawlstone

[Furtherado 100]

I had an encounter yesterday, in which i was moving in the most tactical way possible from location to location, any SEAL or SAS veteran would be jealous of the grace in which i remained hidden, yet fully aware of my surroundings. I kept the sun behind my back, as to blind any snipers lying in wait in the hills.

I was on a full serverI only had my trusty revolver, which unfortunately was in badly damaged condition from shooting potential threats, and was making my way to my home; the lefternmost hangar at Balota airfield. I like to chill there and contemplate my next move whilst i don a bathrobe and a fine cuban cigar.

 

Anyways, i was near the village when my eagle eyes spotted a soldier donning a m4 from about 1500m away, i made my way to a fine tactical position overlooking the area, just shy of 1200m away, just as my opponent slipped behind a building. Luckily i saw a lamppost nearby, I used my PhD in physics, psychology and mathematics to calculate, in the time it takes an electron to move 1/10th of the way around an atom, the targets most likely position.

 

I then aimed my crappy revolver and took a shot at the lamppost, taking into account air humidity, wind, travel time, and bullet drop, the bullet ricocheting off of it, hitting my target square between the eyes. As i passed the vilage, i saw my victim dead on the ground, another confirmed kill.

Edited January 9, 2014 by Furtherado

[Itchysock 35]

Just a tip for all you followers. Do you know if you get a large gas canister, 4 rotten fruit, bleach, one of the many books, two boxes of matches and a screw driver you can make a small chemical weapon to throw like a grenade?  It doesn't kill however blinds and makes a player so slow that you just go up and axe them.  Try it, I need to get the order of assembly, so will post that. Doesn't effect zombies though.

[Itchysock 35]

You do realize your handle is Itchycock? Yeah sorry about my childish insults....

 

apology accepted.

[Feral (DayZ) 622]

I call troll on this topic

 

its a parody of the LeeHarveyEnfield thing and my money is on the HetSteak partnership at play ; )

[dtvh 6]

too many ego kids who have no grasp for real life and play dayz like "badass" to make feel better of themselves and then make topic in forums. funny  :lol:

[rn_max 202]

Not very entertaining for a double parody, Anchorman team your jobs are safe.

 

My only regret is falling for the topic sounding like a good spoof and increasing the read count, my apologies for that to everyone else who follows in.

[Itchysock 35]

I call troll on this topic

 

its a parody of the LeeHarveyEnfield thing and my money is on the HetSteak partnership at play ; )

brother this is not a troll thread, it is sharing a great true story and having a genuine interest in other tales from our followers, where we can comment, discuss offer guidance through our extensive experience.  Some people cant handle it though, for them this environment is so hostile and alien its like going outside and trying to walk from one end of a busy shopping mall to the other, to much to take and they cross their own comfort line and become angry and hostile...

[Hosty 647]

Why is this thread so popular tho?

 

The story wasn't that bad, why is everyone mad? :3

[The Legit Pie 18]

OP great story but your replies seem quite self centred, what I observed from your attitude to funnily and obviously sarcastic replies being pretty blunt and self-glorifying

[Itchysock 35]

too many ego kids who have no grasp for real life and play dayz like "badass" to make feel better of themselves and then make topic in forums. funny  :lol:

 

eh this is a forum on dayz, hence the topic of conversation. I wont get started on real life where we are completely satisfied in highly paid jobs, take command of board rooms, live in luxury while humble enough not to buy the amg class of our Mercedes, regularly offering bread to the poor and unfortunate and save Africans every year on comic relief. Peace be with you.

[Itchysock 35]

Not very entertaining for a double parody, Anchorman team your jobs are safe.

 

My only regret is falling for the topic sounding like a good spoof and increasing the read count, my apologies for that to everyone else who follows in.

 

So your easily lead and a compulsive poster by the looks of it. ie follower. Why don't you stick to main topic and tell a heroic story if you have one, other wise just marvel in our glory with us.

[Itchysock 35]

Why is this thread so popular tho?

 

The story wasn't that bad, why is everyone mad? :3

 

Friend, thanks - its just typical of modern society, particularly the younger generation where someone does well and is a complete expert in something and people try to bring them down, rather than say well done, I have a tale to share with you. Sad really, however I take heart in the majority that have enjoyed this, paid their respects and moved on, and the ones that understand the post and are still here.

[djporternz 644]

OP, just a quick point here. I can't fault your mannly man-ness, but your math skills are less than stellar. By my calculations your story can only be of interest to 1/903,751 people (as at 10/01/2014), or if you prefer 0.000001106499467% of the current DayZ player base. I've just spent the last three days sitting on top of the Cherno firehouse roof calculating this for you. You're welcome.

 

PS: If you could send me a new red pen, it would be appreciated, as mine is now badly damaged.

Edited January 9, 2014 by DJPorterNZ

[rn_max 202]

So your easily lead and a compulsive poster by the looks of it. ie follower. Why don't you stick to main topic and tell a heroic story if you have one, other wise just marvel in our glory with us.

 

 

Lolwut?  Now you're getting the idea.  Nothing quite like double parody ... because you wouldn't be getting high on your own supply, now would you?

[Napkin #2 beta 4]

OP great story but your replies seem quite self centered, what I observed from your attitude to funny and obviously sarcastic replies being pretty blunt and self-glorifying

 

It's almost...........................satirical.

[razgriz93@gmail.com 228]

You do realize your handle is Itchycock? Yeah sorry about my childish insults....

Ouch.

[Itchysock 35]

Lolwut?  Now you're getting the idea.  Nothing quite like double parody ... because you wouldn't be getting high on your own supply, now would you?

 

You love that word don't you brother...this isn't a parody, it is if you recall a true event shared by two true expert of the game, there are many more factual tales, however this is one we decided to share with fellow gamers, so stop making spurious accusations and accept the fact this is (I am sorry I have to repeat) a true story shared among lesser players so they can be inspired to greatness.