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Hetstaine

Poll..Should i log in..or save relationship pain

Should i log in and possibly get the girlfriend smack down  

57 members have voted

  1. 1. Update to 1.7.2.5 , log in, lose my shit , spawn on the beach-get grief off the girlfriend

    • Fuck yeh..dont be a pussy
      13
    • No way , girlfriend grief sucks
      7
    • You got a hot girl and your playing games ??
      9
    • Your girlfriend is youporn and you shave your dog
      18
    • Feed her pills in her dinner and then play all night
      19


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We are up near NE airfield , logged out last night under a tree together. We were on1.7.2.4 but i have the patch ready to go when i get home, interested to see this humanity thing..now here's the deal, we live in seperate houses so i can get some Dayz in , do some shit and get back under the tree and she will never know i was 'absent' ;) but if i update then log in and spawn at the beach..lose all of my shit,,she knows i have a DMR , M14 AIM , GPS and NVG's plus finally a Coyote we raided at a tent at Devils Castle last night..we have been cruising alive for about 3-5 days now (char time) ..when we jump on together next time then she will be like..

Her- hey wtf..why you got different shit and whats with that fancy new fucking shirt huh !

Me- But maam..i really dont know...

Her- Booshit boy,,you been playin without me huh..n that means..you aint playing wit me !

Me- But you know this game is as buggy as shit..its ALPHA baby..

Her- You been runnin all roun' this map like a damn man whore sumbitch ! Dont tell me you aint been shootin shit up and bleedin all over the place and checking out them other survivor chicks ! Dont even tell me that shit !

etc etc..

..chances are what ..50/50 ? i spawn in as a fresh char on the beach with jack shit, have to end up staying up for ages trying to find a DMR and other assorted goodies kill myself a quick 200 odd zeds to get my score back up..she always checks the console to see where we are on the board in game..then run back to our tree..or i just wait another couple of days until we jump on together (and possibly both spawn at the beach and lose our shit anyway ) ..this could possibly be a life decision here lads :D

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If you happen to spawn on the beach and can't get back to the NE airfield in time, just tell her you were trying to find her a gift / surprise. A vehicle, better primary weapon, beans, something along those lines. She will still be a little angry, but she can't get that mad since you were only doing it for her.

Make sure you are a good liar before trying this, or actually try to find something for her for 10 minutes, so there is some truth to it.

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Just out and about in rl she is one of those weird ones man..hot and plays games, so probably should not give her too much man grief, hence the poll ;)

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Just out and about in rl she is one of those weird ones man..hot and plays games, so probably should not give her too much man grief, hence the poll ;)

You just spawn at the beach, you don't lose your shit. It's like a normal respawn, but you get to keep your stuff.

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If you happen to spawn on the beach and can't get back to the NE airfield in time, just tell her you were trying to find her a gift / surprise. A vehicle, better primary weapon, beans, something along those lines. She will still be a little angry, but she can't get that mad since you were only doing it for her.

Make sure you are a good liar before trying this, or actually try to find something for her for 10 minutes, so there is some truth to it.

Well she needs a Coyote ..but they seem as rare as big foot shit , taken us weeks before we stumbled on the one i have now. She is decently geared up otherwise, winnie (her fave) cz550 and an Alice with enough gear. I wonder if she would consider Morphine a present ?

Thanks for the Youporn and shaved dog votes as well so far guys..you are inspiring confidence in my choice ;)

Edited by Hetstaine

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Thankyou for the beans sir.. although i do assure this could be a critical choice relating to my matress polka action for the weekend :D

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Thankyou for the beans sir.. although i do assure this could be a critical choice relating to my matress polka action for the weekend :D

Just wait till she passes out, then put it in her mouth.

~Sol

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Jokes ..on the interwebz ? Surely you jest.

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We are up near NE airfield , logged out last night under a tree together. We were on1.7.2.4 but i have the patch ready to go when i get home, interested to see this humanity thing..now here's the deal, we live in seperate houses so i can get some Dayz in , do some shit and get back under the tree and she will never know i was 'absent' ;) but if i update then log in and spawn at the beach..lose all of my shit,,she knows i have a DMR , M14 AIM , GPS and NVG's plus finally a Coyote we raided at a tent at Devils Castle last night..we have been cruising alive for about 3-5 days now (char time) ..when we jump on together next time then she will be like..

Her- hey wtf..why you got different shit and whats with that fancy new fucking shirt huh !

Me- But maam..i really dont know...

Her- Booshit boy,,you been playin without me huh..n that means..you aint playing wit me !

Me- But you know this game is as buggy as shit..its ALPHA baby..

Her- You been runnin all roun' this map like a damn man whore sumbitch ! Dont tell me you aint been shootin shit up and bleedin all over the place and checking out them other survivor chicks ! Dont even tell me that shit !

etc etc..

..chances are what ..50/50 ? i spawn in as a fresh char on the beach with jack shit, have to end up staying up for ages trying to find a DMR and other assorted goodies kill myself a quick 200 odd zeds to get my score back up..she always checks the console to see where we are on the board in game..then run back to our tree..or i just wait another couple of days until we jump on together (and possibly both spawn at the beach and lose our shit anyway ) ..this could possibly be a life decision here lads :D

If you spawn on the beach, 99 percent of the time you'll still keep your shit.

But I still reckon you should do the last option you gave us a choice to vote on.

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Damn. You guys are harsh :)

  • Like 1

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I like how option 3 has no votes.... like OP is expected o have an ugly girlfriend.

Everyone knows, men can look however they want, but the women have to be hot >.>

*Waits for ball demolishing kick from local female members*

~Sol

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Everyone knows, men can look however they want, but the women have to be hot >.>

Its a scary world out there for the ladies indeed.

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Just wait till she passes out, then put it in her mouth.

~Sol

So option #4 then?

Also as the true nature of the troll is getting murkier every day, I will post here as a public cervix announcement, the entry from Forums and Blogging: 3rd Edition Monstrous Compendium on the troll.

Trolls are hominid carnivores found in all climes, from arctic wastelands to tropical jungles. Most creatures avoid these beasts, since trolls know no fear and attack unceasingly when hungry. Their frame appears thin and frail, but trolls possess surprising strength. Their arms and legs are long and ungainly. The legs end in great three-toed feet, the arms in wide, powerful hands with sharpened claws. The trolls' rubbery hide is colored a moss green, mottled green and gray, or putrid gray. A writhing hairlike mass grows out of their skulls and is usually greenish black or iron gray in color. Their dull, sunken black eyes possess the ability to feed on the frustrations of others . Females are easily distinguished from males; they are both larger and more powerful than their male counterparts.

Trolls walk upright but hunched forward with sagging shoulders. The trolls' gait is uneven and, when running, the arms dangle free and drag along the ground. For all this seeming awkwardness, trolls are very agile. They are notoriously obstinate and can nonsensically refute even the most cogent of points with an 80% chance of success. Trolls have poor hearing, but their sense of which MMO was first and best is superior.

Trolls have no language of their own, using "trollspeak", a guttural mishmash of broken english, poor grammar, ancient memes, and fourchan. Trollspeak is highly transient and trolls from one area are only 25% likely to be able to communicate with trolls from another.

Edit: Wait, what? Mattress Polka? Have some beans OP.

Edited by Oswald

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Don't take the chance. Hot video game loving girls are more rare than that coyote pack you have, sir.

*prepares to commit sepuku before female forum users read post*

Edited by Rock
  • Like 3

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Don't take the chance. Hot video game loving girls are more rare than that coyote pack you have, sir.

Being a huge fan of the very fine and nicely curvacious things that wander our spinning rock and having also now seen the day of the once common Coyote pack come and go .. this is the most insightful post so far on the topic.

As for that Troll Compendium it is fastly reaching its need to be updated status, but in a generalisation it is probably not a terrible summary.

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Her- "You been runnin all roun' this map like a damn man whore sumbitch ! Dont tell me you aint been shootin shit up and bleedin all over the place and checking out them other survivor chicks ! Dont even tell me that shit !"

That made my day! thanks bud

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Does she make you great sammiches?

Cause if she can't make a decent sammich for you go ahead and log in.

If she makes great sammiches for you I wouldn't risk it then. Just wait til she can play again with you, have a great sammich, and play some DayZ at that time.

Edited by Tuggo

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Her- "You been runnin all roun' this map like a damn man whore sumbitch ! Dont tell me you aint been shootin shit up and bleedin all over the place and checking out them other survivor chicks ! Dont even tell me that shit !"

That made my day! thanks bud

No worries man :) Glad to share some smiles.

Does she make you great sammiches?

Cause if she can't make a decent sammich for you go ahead and log in.

If she makes great sammiches for you I wouldn't risk it then. Just wait til she can play again with you, have a great sammich, and play some DayZ at that time.

It is actually quite unnerving how good her culinary skills are, sammiches is only the tip of the iceberg :)

Just to update..Poll was sort of inconclusive..pills in food won and since i did not want to OD her on some random antibiotic leftovers in the cupboard i just fired up 1.7.2.4. As soon as i entered game on our usual vet server US 1174 i got the message 'One of those days Alice, pow to the moon' hit esc - disconnect straight away. Only 1 other person in game too lol. Next server i wandered down to Berezino..the whole town was on fire so i headed back up to our tree near NE airfield, scored a m4a3 ccco at the airfield tower and stashed it in my backpack with my m14 aim.DMR'd a few zeds for sits n giggles and crept back under the tree and called it a night.

Will try the 1.7.2.5 with her tonight and see how we go. Cheers for the votes anyway chaps..i was tempted and probably lucky i survived the hackers.

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