m1lkm8n 61 Posted July 8, 2012 Two words....masturbation meter!When you log on you semen count is 5/10. For every hour you don't masturbate your level rises by one. Once you till 10/10 you will be forced to run around with a raging hardon for half an hour till you jizz in your pants. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
thesneakyfatcat 76 Posted July 8, 2012 Two words....masturbation meter!When you log on you semen count is 5/10. For every hour you don't masturbate your level rises by one. Once you till 10/10 you will be forced to run around with a raging hardon for half an hour till you jizz in your pants.You may be onto something, there. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Captain Q 3 Posted July 8, 2012 Good, but I have a few things to add on. Eating shit doesn't kill you, lawyers do it all the time.When you're dying of starvation, you have the ability to choose to eat your own shit. Should you do so, you will be at risk of a 60% chance of getting sick, a 30% chance of dying, and a 10% chance of nothing bad happening.Eating someone elses shit gives you a 40% chance of dying, a 50% chance of getting sick, and a 10% chance of nothing bad happening.Eating a woman's shit makes you henpecked. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
m1lkm8n 61 Posted July 8, 2012 Two words....masturbation meter!When you log on you semen count is 5/10. For every hour you don't masturbate your level rises by one. Once you till 10/10 you will be forced to run around with a raging hardon for half an hour till you jizz in your pants.You may be onto something' date=' there.[/quote']Lol. Can u imagine all these dead bodies laying around from bandit or zed kills, stiff Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Parrin 1 Posted July 8, 2012 Nty, I have to tell my mates to hold up enough times because I need a shit/piss IRL. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dallas 5195 Posted July 8, 2012 Nty' date=' I have to tell my mates to hold up enough times because I need a shit/piss IRL.[/quote']The correct term is bio break. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jhenryis1 0 Posted July 8, 2012 Well I think I'm going to stick to using me own bathroom in my house :D Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Delta Smoke 01 765 Posted July 8, 2012 Worst idea ever' date=' these sort of bodily functions don't add anything to the game. Stating they should be implemented for the sake of 'realism' is just foolishness. Like I suggested on the last thread on this very topic, if you want to take a crap in the woods, go do it in real life, and find some poison ivy to wipe with while your at it. Let me know how that works out for ya.Troll on friend, troll on.[/quote']LOL you suck ! this mis clearly not serious. Made me laugh tho Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
m1lkm8n 61 Posted July 8, 2012 Nty' date=' I have to tell my mates to hold up enough times because I need a shit/piss IRL.[/quote']The correct term is bio break.Nice...now I know...and knowing is half the battle Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
L0G!N 9 Posted July 8, 2012 While i think the suggested implementation is a tad harsh and 'unrealistic' for something that is intended to sarcasticly be uber realistic... i do think this could be something to add at some point, see the whole 'relieving' issue is such a taboe in regards to survival, that 'besides drinking your own pee' it is never shown nor explained in survival shows. And it took me quite some googling to find a site that spoke of several ways to actually relieve yourself (with ease and a tad of comfort) while being outdoors. Also asking some of my army buddies added some more ways to deal with these kinds of things.. and don't take this lightly, if you soil your own water source you are pretty much screwed for that location as a basecamp. So think before you go!So yeah, if implemented in a reasonable way, then idd be all for this... perhaps sickness could induce diarea aswell, which is a real killer when surviving due to the added risk of dehydration... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryansongy@hotmail.com 27 Posted July 8, 2012 christ all of you got trolled hard Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrimsonBlade 2 Posted July 8, 2012 Just stop.... if you want (UBER SUPER-DUPAR REALISM) how about once you die in DAY-Z no RESPAWNS ever..... now quit trolling Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
capitainedesolation@yahoo.fr 119 Posted July 8, 2012 I can already see little kids taking dumps and pissing on loot piles, bodies, and anything they can think of... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
liquidcactus 719 Posted July 8, 2012 This is an excellent idea to add to the survival aspect..It's along the same idea i have for game mechanic/system of stress releif. You have a stress o meter and you releave the tension builds up slowly over x amount of time then you can release by fucking dead animal carcasses.. an indepth writeup/suggestion is pending on this here forums by myself..cant wait for you all to see it Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vesmo 21 Posted July 8, 2012 *study body* "His name was thesneakyfatcat, it appears he died from an ass infection" AAAHHHAHAHAHAHAHA xD Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hacksign5 0 Posted July 8, 2012 This is the best thing I have ever read in my life. Good job man xD in all seriousness, this would be absurd and obscene. But if we're willing to take that next "Realistic" push, then sure. Maybe after 4 days of surviving you grow a beard? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Adultery (DayZ) 0 Posted July 8, 2012 This is the best thread eva basically... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
liquidcactus 719 Posted July 8, 2012 i do much appreciate the idea of fecal matter and urine to have a "solid" presence in the game.. hey look,Maybe even have farting if u eat beans 2wice in a row after getting hungary you have to do farts.. the more beans the louder and longer they get meaning the more bad luck you will have to a pending zombie attack from farts NOIZES.. FUCK ! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Alexey Zemanov 6 Posted July 8, 2012 While the OP seems to be joking ... it still is a good idea. As is hygiene.Proper disposable of your left behinds is important if you don't want you camp to be found. Zs will smell it and roaming hordes might be your reward for not disposing it properly. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kyorikei 3 Posted July 8, 2012 Nice idea! Really, if you eat and drink why don't you shit and piss :) ? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waylander (DayZ) 0 Posted July 8, 2012 i say no However if it does get implemented, when you do a shit it should attract flies that sound like a dead survivor so you can use your number 2 as bait in a smelly ambush. Imagine a player hears the flies buzzing heads in their direction looks down and see the shit and then you burst out of the bushes with toilet paper or leaves sticking out of your trousers and gun him down or you could rush towards with with a melee weapon and slip on the poo land on your back and then gunned down by the other guy. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
deepfried 95 Posted July 8, 2012 I lol'd so hard at this, first because of the obvious and very humorous troll OP.. then because so many responders are taking it seriously XD Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
uglyboy 1 Posted July 8, 2012 Meanwhile in the troubleshotting section:" My character just wont take a dump, i tried everything should i be worried?" 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
herd 69 Posted July 8, 2012 Worst idea ever' date=' these sort of bodily functions don't add anything to the game. Stating they should be implemented for the sake of 'realism' is just foolishness. [/quote']What about eating and drinking? Fail Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Fenix (DayZ) 0 Posted July 8, 2012 A suggestion if you shit or piss yourself is to walk into water to clean your soiled trousers :) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
