I dun a woman

[LeeHarveyEnfield 311]

from this end of an m14 she looked rather attractive, scruffy as she was with her female survivor skin I could see that perhaps, before this damned apocalypse came along and put an abrupt halt to personal hygiene routines she might well have been worth a second look.

 

she had a crossbow over her shoulder and a Makarov in her hand, hardly a fair fight but hey, I need me kills

as she rounded the firehouse I moved down from sniper hill and crouched in a bush and slipped into first person mode as I reloaded my m-14

 

there she goes, running across the open field no doubt in the hope that the other firehouse is feeling a little more generous in the old military loot department.

 

it was

I had cut around to the church wall in third person and there I lurked as she came crouch walking down the road towards me, an AK74 no less!

 

Then a zed spotted me, the aggro caused my little flower to freeze and after a brief scan she flitted to the bus stop and went prone

I broke from cover made a straight line dash to the bus stop and came to a halt just behind her.

I  fired 7 bullets into her

 

each one was a metaphor

 

she knew nothing

Edited November 4, 2013 by LeeHarveyEnfield

[meat pie 632]

wow you are a total sexist,making a post about a kill is fine but this is kinda stupid :/

Edited November 4, 2013 by meat pie

[Hockeyguy 107]

Wow, it must have been such a life changing event for you, killing someone in DayZ

Edited November 4, 2013 by Hockeyguy

[LeeHarveyEnfield 311]

Wow, it must have been such a life changing event for you, killing someone in DayZ

 

 

all events have the potential to have a life changing effect on an individual

 

did this one change my life?

it certainly got me thinking about getting my girlfriend to dress as a cherno survivor while i stalk her around the woods with both barrels loaded if you get my meaning

[kichilron 8550]

church wall in third person and there I lurked as she came crouch walking down the road towards me

 

:P

Edited November 4, 2013 by kichilron

[GOD™ 2795]

LeeHarveyEnfield saw a wild female.

 

He used hardened winky dink, it was uneffective.

 

He got angry then suddenly!

 

*Pew Pew*...

 

That's how it happened in my head.

 

 

EDIT: I used one too many 'thens'.

Edited November 4, 2013 by GOD™

[Statik (DayZ) 2695]

hardly a fair fight but hey, I need me kills

This is what is wrong with DayZ.

 

 

 

 

 

All because of the humanity system, and murder count.

[beavis_5000 111]

Well considering it really was a female I dont know why you would kill her rather than try to team with her and have a female to run around with to keep you company.

 

That being said it very likely was a male. I killed a dude one time because he had not only a female skin but a female name and when he spoke to me on voice chat he was a dude. I killed him not only because he was not a female but because he could only have been up to no good with so much deciet in his character.

[Hosty 647]

You must be very proud of yourself.

[Ozelot (DayZ) 394]

Well considering it really was a female I dont know why you would kill her rather than try to team with her and have a female to run around with to keep you company.

 

omg

 

People like this are why female gamers should never voip unless in small, private chats with trusted groups. Otherwise the creepers come out and like try to verbally rape you over the mic.

Edited November 5, 2013 by Ozelot

[beavis_5000 111]

omg

 

People like this are why female gamers should never voip unless in small, private chats with trusted groups. Otherwise the creepers come out and like try to verbally rape you over the mic.

 

 

 

 

Not sure how we are on the subject of "creepers" and verbal rape? But whatever you say Ozelot because you sound like just the type of dude a girl would want to be in a "private chat" with.

[banjo (DayZ) 55]

it must be difficult

ending the life of someone you would happily mate with

 

i hope i never experience anything like it but if i do i'll mate first shoot after, know what i mean?

[Hosty 647]

it must be difficult

ending the life of someone you would happily mate with

 

i hope i never experience anything like it but if i do i'll mate first shoot after, know what i mean?

 

Dude what.

It's... just a game...

[oldfossil 59]

Dear L.H.Enfield you just e-killed a skin's player...

[LeeHarveyEnfield 311]

it must be difficult

ending the life of someone you would happily mate with

 

i hope i never experience anything like it but if i do i'll mate first shoot after, know what i mean?

 

indeed

my loins twitched simultaneously with my trigger finger

 

am I condemned to forever associate a nicely rounded female posterior with the act of killing?

[mercules 1290]

 I killed a dude one time because he had not only a female skin but a female name and when he spoke to me on voice chat he was a dude. I killed him not only because he was not a female but because he could only have been up to no good with so much deciet in his character.

 

Um what? He chose an avatar that doesn't match his physical body? Say it isn't so!  :rolleyes: I am dead certain all of us are fit athletic men just like all our avatars in game. 

[beavis_5000 111]

 

 

Um what? He chose an avatar that doesn't match his physical body? Say it isn't so!

   

 

 

They must assume they are less likey to be KoS'ed with a female skin? If so they can either use it to be friendly or use it to be decietful and I put my money on most using it to be decietful.

[Ozelot (DayZ) 394]

They must assume they are less likey to be KoS'ed with a female skin? If so they can either use it to be friendly or use it to be decietful and I put my money on most using it to be decietful.

What if it's a girl in a male bandit skin?

[OfficerRaymond 2064]

Not sure how we are on the subject of "creepers" and verbal rape? But whatever you say Ozelot because you sound like just the type of dude a girl would want to be in a "private chat" with.

I'm not sure if it's a woman or a man, whatever it is, it's upset.

What if it's a girl in a male bandit skin?

I call that a transgender.

[Korsbaek 1778]

I really like this conversation.

 

I'm still stuck with a female skin on the main hive. Two months and counting...

[todd10k 87]

The level of stupidity in this thread is starting to get beyond ridiculous. Who gives a monkeys about gender politics in dayz? Personally i thought the OP was hilarious. Yall need to get a sense of humor.

 

Also, i've identified at least 5 virgins in this thread, just by the contents of their post.

[OfficerRaymond 2064]

The level of stupidity in this thread is starting to get beyond ridiculous. Who gives a monkeys about gender politics in dayz? Personally i thought the OP was hilarious. Yall need to get a sense of humor.

 

Also, i've identified at least 5 virgins in this thread, just by the contents of their post.

Okay Sherlock Holmes, you keep on identifying them Virgins.

Judging people by the sarcastic content they post.... Lul. That'd be like me judging you and your blow up doll/fleshlight usage by the look of your avatar... It's just silly.

P.S. They aren't dishwasher safe, trust me.

[weparo 613]

Eh, come on guys, the man kill a chick (proably just another guy with fantasies anyways) and wrote it down in a nice, storytelling fashion, cut him some slack.

[Ozelot (DayZ) 394]

Eh, come on guys, the man kill a chick (proably just another guy with fantasies anyways) and wrote it down in a nice, storytelling fashion, cut him some slack.

it was kinda funny but the replies ruined it

[todd10k 87]

Okay Sherlock Holmes, you keep on identifying them Virgins.

Judging people by the sarcastic content they post.... Lul. That'd be like me judging you and your blow up doll/fleshlight usage by the look of your avatar... It's just silly.

P.S. They aren't dishwasher safe, trust me.

 

Virgin identified.

 

Nice try at being snarky, but you didn't come off as funny, just a bit of a douche. But hey, keep plugging away there son, you'll get there in the end.

 

Am i being condecending enough for you or would you like me to try that little extra bit harder for you?