Your funniest moment in DayZ

[Jvalor 59]

To start off, I did a search and the threads I did see were pretty outdated by atleast a few months so instead of necroing an old one I just figured I would start a new one.

 

What is your personal, funniest moment in DayZ. I'm sure a lot of you have a ton, but just choose one that stood out the most and literally made you laugh out loud.

 

I haven't been playing all that long so I am sure I will have many more moments to come, but the funniest so far for me was shortly after I spawned east of Elektro. I ran into the first town and killed a few zombies and grabbed a pepsi and as I was leaving I saw a car parked next to a house so I ran up to check what condition it was in. I heard flies and checked and sure enough there was a dead body and the car was in perfect condition. It had half a tank of gas left so I hopped in and headed for Elektro. As soon as I drive into Elektro, I get out and try to loot a body in the middle of the road. I saw that he had a Lee Enfield so as I was just about to take it I hear a car behind me and I turn around to see this white car swerving in to hit me. I was able to move out of the way in time and fire off a couple 'fuck you' shots at him as he sped away. Anyway, I got back in my car and start driving and there I see him again, parked outside the hospital. So I say, "Fuck it" and ram the shit out of him, turn on voice chat and yell, "Dickhead", and start driving off. Well I hear this squeeky ass voice fading in the background as I am driving away from Elektro and I look behind me and he is driving after me, screaming and cursing with his high pitched squeeky voice telling me to pull over.

 

Obviously at this point I am already laughing pretty hard, but he doesn't give up. So we have a high speed car chase into Cherno and I am hard turning into streets and shit trying to lose this guy. He is still yelling and telling me to pull over and clearly sounds pissed because I rammed his car. Anyway, one of the turns he took it too fast I guess cause he turned and slammed right into a wall. So I immediately stop, and back up into his car a couple times, while laughing over voice chat and I drive away. All I hear as I am driving off is that damn squeeky, high pitched, angry voice yelling, "Get the fuck back here, you motherfucker!!!". I'm dying laughing at this point. Maybe it was one of those things you had to witness to actually find the humor in it, but it was downright hilarious.

 

A few minutes later, he types in side chat, "Where is that fucking asshole that rammed my car? Come back to Cherno you POS! You broke my car!"

 

Anyway, I got a good laugh out of it. I wasn't aware some people get that angry over someone ramming their car.

[Zarniwoop 1193]

The funniest thing ever in my DayZ days was the first time I found out that when you crouch, look at the ground, press alt and look up it looks really silly. Hilarity followed.

 

Mabe we should take this silly crouch walk to the Ministry of Silly Walks?

[Skat3rat 1633]

When someone hit me with a car in Cherno and I flew almost all the way to Electro.

 

Also when my friend hit my car with his, and I flew like a thousand meters in the air.

Edited August 24, 2013 by Skat3rat

[kevsta545 451]

DAY 1

XD when I didn't know how to go into third person lol, or not knowing what was going on XD

[IkaikaKekai 1957]

This had me nervously laughing my ass off, and then later crying.

 

Playing on Balota Buddies one day I found an SUV out in the woods.  It had gear in it and was near my camp so I waited a couple of days, thing was still there so I took it, leaving a UAZ (I think) in it's place (leaving the gear that was in the SUV in the UAZ).  I move camp to near Zelenogorsk and log out for the day.  Log in, grab my crossbow and leave my CZ550 in the tents and head down to town in the SUV.  I park at the SUV in the walled off area near the store and head in.  I start to notice there's dead zombies around and gear has already spawned in, "oh fuuu-" I hear a car door open and close and run out and to my SUV, yep, dude in the driver's seat, swap to my 1911 and aim at the window, using direct voice I say, "Get out of my Car, NOW."  I hear other gunshots and other player noises, He obviously didn't hear me so I ran back into the store.  My heart is racing at 90 miles an hour and I'm 'hiding' in the corner of the backroom of the store.  One of the players come running in with a M240/M249 and runs past me with his back to me.  I start hearing more gunshots and the car moving, as well as the horn honking and car doors opening.  I run out, see the SUV is still there and they're trying to group up, running to the SUV I jump in the back seat.  The rest got in and they took off, with me.  I wait till the next town before finally typing up in vehicle chat, "Hey uh, this is the guy who's SUV you just stole, if you can let me out up ahead I'll be on my way..." "Oh shit dude jump down to our TS channel."  Turned out they were friendly and told me i could have the SUV back afterwards, so I hung with them a bit.

Now the sad part, they take me to one of their camps, blood up, find like 3 heli crashes within a mile of each other and loot em.  Then one of the guys ran into another group of survivors, "Hey I think it's that guy we stopped earlier gonna try and WTF IM DEAD!  They're Hostile..."  After a short bit of trying to take each other, we die one by one, just me and one guy from my team and one of them left.  Guy had his back to me so I ran up with a Bizon and unloaded the clip into his back, before moving up to his head and killed him.  "Is that all of them dude?" "Yeah I think so-" BLAM Rifle goes off in the distance.  I die, then my last partner.  Over Side I see, "LOL u gaies suck, takin ur SUV'  We got played by a bandit sniper (both groups were friendlies, he killed our guy first and watched us kill each other, occasionally taking pot shots at us during the fire fight.

Edited August 24, 2013 by BigMike

[Fun With Flares 72]

Bicycle vs. Ural vs. SUV vs. Another Bicycle deathrace from Cherno to Elektro docks. I had the bicycle and almost got run over about 50 times.

[Deathwind (DayZ) 28]

I honestly couldn't stop cracking up at my first hacker encounter. The poor feller was running around with a zombie skin and leaving a rancid trail of rainbow fart to take the place of his tracks. Gosh, it was classic.

[Deathwind (DayZ) 28]

Oh, and not to mention fairly disturbing!

[koldhaart 1]

Me and my CO-OP partner Valyk were doing a run of Cherno, we were both armed with M4 SD's so as you could imagine we were taking it nice and slowly making sure that we didnt anger any nearby would-be attackers.

 

We found ourselves by some industrial and we notcied a peripheral dot on the otherside of the wall, we were both talking over Steam chat and were pretty much trying to decide what we would do, after a few moments of deliberation I stuck my head round the corner expecting a 12 gauge. in the face or something of the likes!

 

Turns out it it was a fucking rabbit; WITH ITS SHARP POINTY TEETH!!!!!

 

**Queue any Monty Python jokes you can muster!**

 

There wasn't a player or zeds for at least 150m!!!

[Nerd__Guy 3]

Well, I once got into a fire-fight with a little kid, and he got me pretty good (I had a pistol, he had some assault rifle). I eventually got away, and just kept hearing over the side chat him saying "I'm going to kill you nerd guy! I'm going to kill you!"
Sure enough, the little imp stalked me for over an hour without me realizing, and is a pretty damn good shot with some form of sniper rifle too as soon as I found a nice tent .

Another one was where I was sitting on the side of a road for about 20-25 minutes (coast road, was between Cherno and Elektro I think), making sure it was clear. Well, I finally decide to crawl out onto the road. I make it about halfway, when out of nowhere, a fnucking car comes around the bend, flying down the road, and the rest is history is say the least.

 

[Gwraspe 318]

either when i had a mate on the back of an ATV and was blasting along, crossed a bridge and the ATV did a perfect back flip and landed perfectly on it's wheels and rolled on, only to fall on it's side for literally no reason 2 metres or so later - that or when the same friend hit a zombie at low speed with a bus whilst a group of us were looting Vybor and the zombie went flying and landed on top of a building. priceless moments :) thank you DayZ, thank you Arma 2 physics engine.

[The Aquatic Land Walrus 565]

Someone sniped me as a newspawn in cherno, so I find his location, and plant a tent on him. He turns around, and instantly flies into space faster than space core.

*Worth it*

Edited September 20, 2013 by The Aquatic Land Walrus

[Mos1ey 6301]

During 1.7.7.1 my friend and I got ourselves into a horrible mess... It was a pretty dark night, I was infected and his blood was so low that he was passing out. We both had assault rifles but neither of us had any ammo, medical supplies or a hunting knife. We were screwed...

 

We got ourselves to Green Mountain and someone agreed to bring us two blood bags and a box of antibiotics if we could stay alive until he got to us.

 

While we were waiting my friend realised that he had two grenades, so we hatched a plan that I'm not proud of, but we were desperate... We'd get the guy to climb up and meet us at the top of the tower while we waited up on the platform, I would shine a torch in his face so he couldn't see what was happening and my friend would pop a grenade by the ladder and close the door. It was brilliant!

 

So we waited and waited, and before long I was also passing out from blood loss when finally he arrived...

 

He asked me to pop a flare so that he could see what he was doing, so I did... I could hear him climbing the ladder so I shone my torch at the top, my friend threw the grenade when we saw him reach the top and shut the door. We were both rolling around laughing...

 

BOOM!

 

I opened the door and the guy was just standing there staring at me...

 

'Did you... Throw a grenade at me?'

 

At this point we could barely even talk to him we were laughing so much.

 

'Um... Nooo. I threw a flare.'

 

'Oh, okay... I think someone's trying to kill us.'

 

He then proceeded to patch us up and give me his last box of antibiotics then he left, got hit by a zombie, and got infected.

 

What a night...

[Mullraugh 1151]

One time, my buds and I were playing on Origins. We all spawned in Byelov and were attempting to group up. I had made it to the firestation, but my friends were pinned down by LMG fire coming from the hospital. I found the gunman and his friend, but only had 2 rounds with an AKM I found on a dead body. I fired the two shots at the machinegunner, but missed and hit his friend -which knocked him out. At that point, the gunman directed all his fire to me, and pinned me down. I told my friends to go up both the hospital ladders at the same time and hack at the gunner with their hatchets (since their makarovs were out of ammo). Next thing I see is 3 guys climbing on top of the roof with hatchets and sneaking up behind the gunner screaming "For Narnia!" as they all hacked him to death and killed his unonscious teammate. The End.

Edited September 20, 2013 by mullraugh

[Gdaddy22 299]

I threw smoke grenade into the building then it collapses while smacking my ass up, had some decent eq.

[zix 9]

Just the other day, found a Ural with a broken wheel. I managed to fix the wheel and within 5 seconds of driving it I crashed into a pole and broke the engine. Now I cant find engine parts :/

For some reason I could not stop laughing at how stupid i was

[Lido 54]

While stealing a URAL I suddenly heard in direct chat "dude, could you slow down?" I pulled over and looked around, and on top of the damn URAL was a bicycle with a man in it.

Then he goes "Yea you kinda took my stuff, but I see you're solo also. Wanna team up?" Rather then responding I cruise controlled the phrase

"HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET THERE?"

 

"Oh while you were driving down Green Mountain I tried to follow you, but I got air time and landed up here. Pretty swank right?"

 

Afterwards we spent upwards of 20 minutes in the middle of a field trying to get this fucker off my car with stupid idea after another.

"Maybe if I drive forward and you drive back?"

"HEY!"
We turn around and theres like 3 bandits there and we thought we were gonna die and then they go

"HOW THE FUCK DID HE GET UP THERE?"

Eventually we got like 14 people trying to get the bike off, posting ads about it in side chat and shit, we even promised the guy who got it without shooting it would keep the bike.

 

Admin came in and started laughing his ass off in sidechat and just spawned everyone a free bike and broke the first one.