morgan32 403 Posted October 23, 2012 The same as the amount of bullets it took to kill the survivor you looted them from?HAHAHAHHA U WENT RIGHT ON THE JOEK U DUNT LICK CANS LOL NOOBZ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
a_typical_noob 651 Posted October 23, 2012 HAHAHAHHA U WENT RIGHT ON THE JOEK U DUNT LICK CANS LOL NOOBZBut...I DO lick them... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
a_typical_noob 651 Posted October 23, 2012 (edited) HAHAHAHHA U WENT RIGHT ON THE JOEK U DUNT LICK CANS LOL NOOBZBut...I DO lick them...and this forum is FUCKING LAGGY AS SHIT!!1!!!1!!!oneone Edited October 23, 2012 by A_Typical_Noob Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
morgan32 403 Posted October 23, 2012 But...I DO lick them...and this forum is FUCKING LAGGY AS SHIT!!1!!!1!!!oneoneMaybe I am using them wrong? Hmm...Lets just say it takes one lick to get the the bottom of a tin can. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
a_typical_noob 651 Posted October 23, 2012 Maybe I am using them wrong? Hmm...Lets just say it takes one lick to get the the bottom of a tin can.That sounds about right. Sardines are only worth one lick anyway. Nasty ass little sea creatures. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
morgan32 403 Posted October 24, 2012 That sounds about right. Sardines are only worth one lick anyway. Nasty ass little sea creatures.Besides, the more you lick the higher chance it is that you cut yourself on the sardines. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DanielTy88 133 Posted October 24, 2012 DayZ Forums...Where random shit happens ^ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
a_typical_noob 651 Posted October 24, 2012 Besides, the more you lick the higher chance it is that you cut yourself on the sardines.And then you get Mercury poisoning. And Tetanus. And die.And if you're Buddhist and believe in reincarnation, you get a real life re-spawn and probably end up coming back as a sardine. It's a vicious and disturbing cycle. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DanielTy88 133 Posted October 25, 2012 New player spawns on beach...New player see's some zombies...New player decides to run through them thinking they are slow...New player finds out they aren't slow...o.OShits pants...Welcome to DayZ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jex =TE= (DayZ) 218 Posted October 25, 2012 "How many zombies does it take to change a lightbulb?""Hrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr......" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
a_typical_noob 651 Posted October 25, 2012 How many well armed bandits does it take to raid the NW Airfield?Not sure. They're all sniping unarmed noobs in Elektro. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ShaneGT 41 Posted October 25, 2012 Me: I found a chopper and it works(takes off and flys around for 3 minutes)(trys to land)Me: o shit treeMe: Yes, i survived, bandaging. BEC: DayzAntihax: You are being banned for remote code execution.Checks ban log, Bis_Airdestruction:......Banned from own server... ...... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
=RK=Achilles 31 Posted October 25, 2012 (edited) Bambie: "I'm in a barn, I can see a large field and a tree line through the door. Anyone know where I am?"Rest of Server: ............................................................................. Edited October 25, 2012 by =ST=Achilles Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Strazyplus 14 Posted October 25, 2012 (edited) What's the difference between a hacker and a turd?Turds don't have neck beards or live in their mom's basement.Ten year olds don't have beards... Edited October 25, 2012 by Strazyplus Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
morgan32 403 Posted October 25, 2012 What smells shit and flies really fast?A bullet from an AS50 Thermal flying up the nose of a noob. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DanielTy88 133 Posted October 25, 2012 What do you get when you cross someone that is horrible at games and is a douche bag = Hacker 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LawsOfFire 21 Posted October 25, 2012 how many unarmed newspawns does it take to kill a cherno sniper?none. you just call his mom Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lvg 1690 Posted October 25, 2012 (edited) Side Chat Survivor 1: Hey where are you?Side Chat Survivor 2: next to a treeI need your Clothes, your Beans and your Bicycle Edited October 25, 2012 by LVG 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LawsOfFire 21 Posted October 25, 2012 Side Chat Survivor 1: Hey where are you?Side Chat Survivor 2: next to a treeI need your Clothes, your Beans and your BicycleBut i cant drop my clothes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
morgan32 403 Posted October 25, 2012 What's stuck on a hill near the coast camouflaged with the grass?Your mom when she tried to walk up the slope but rolled down. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
a_typical_noob 651 Posted October 25, 2012 What do you tell a female survivor that has two black eyes?Nothing. She's already been told twice! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
morgan32 403 Posted October 25, 2012 What do you tell a female survivor that has two black eyes?Nothing. She's already been told twice!Female survivor, HAHAHHAA; best joke so far! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DanielTy88 133 Posted October 25, 2012 Female survivor, HAHAHHAA; best joke so far! Female flying a helicopter...This isn't going to end well... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
coolcow 1 Posted October 26, 2012 (edited) My favorite running gag playing dayz:Bandit (less then 5 minutes after been fresh respawned): nice !!! i just found a coyote backpack and a lot of good stuff to do into it !!! what a lucky day !!![...a few minutes later...]Survivor: woot ?! fuck...hint (for those who don't understand the joke): the Bandit and the Survivor are the same player... (humanity bug) Edited October 26, 2012 by coolcow 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DanielTy88 133 Posted October 28, 2012 And I run,I run so far a away....I couldn't get away... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
