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jackl590

Dear Enistre, If You Wish To See FunkyTown Again...

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Dear Enistre,

If you wish to see your friend FunkyTown again you will comply with our demands and give us the ransom. The below video details the events leading up to and after the kidnapping and is to ensure the health and well being of your friend FunkyTown.

Okay, even though he may not have survived the encounter we still insist that you give in to our demands.

Give Us:

  • All of your beans
  • A Mountain Dew
  • Two Copies of DayZ standalone

Only when our demands are met will we truly be satisfied with your inability to keep your friend safe.

Sincerely,

Jackl590

Edited by jackl590
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Jackl

As the legal representatives of the Funkytown family, we have filed a lawsuit for the unlawful death and rape of our beloved Fuckytown. The video will be used as evidence in our case. It clearly shows you running him down. You are clearly heard saying he was "inside" you. Your lack of remorse when the kind and noble Funkeytown died is a disgusting act of savagery. The only saving grace is Mr. Town died for freedom! He was a hero with the manner he chose to face his demise.

Not only are we demanding for compensation.( 3 brown cows a moo'in, 7 goats a naying, and a rooster in a pine tree) We would also implore you turn yourselves in to the authorities for your crimes. This act of gross misconduct should bring shame to the community at large. We would hope those individuals would bring you to justice if you are to cowardly to turn yourselves in.

Regards

The Law Firm of Dayz Forums and associates.

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Jackl

As the legal representatives of the Funkytown family, we have filed a lawsuit for the unlawful death and rape of our beloved Fuckytown. The video will be used as evidence in our case. It clearly shows you running him down. You are clearly heard saying he was "inside" you. Your lack of remorse when the kind and noble Funkeytown died is a disgusting act of savagery. The only saving grace is Mr. Town died for freedom! He was a hero with the manner he chose to face his demise.

Not only are we demanding for compensation.( 3 brown cows a moo'in, 7 goats a naying, and a rooster in a pine tree) We would also implore you turn yourselves in to the authorities for your crimes. This act of gross misconduct should bring shame to the community at large. We would hope those individuals would bring you to justice if you are to cowardly to turn yourselves in.

Regards

The Law Firm of Dayz Forums and associates.

:D?

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Dear Pendragon,

Me and my associates feel no remorse for those who weep over the kidnapping and death of FunkyTown. We have gone as far as to steal Vash The Stampede's car (see below) and have hidden ourselves from you and your associates in the Northern most forests. We have decided that if said car is to be returned to Mr. Stampede we require approximately 4 black and white spotted cows a moo'in, 6 goats a' naying, and a hen in a rooster's tree. We wish you the very worst in your lawsuit ventures and hope you or anyone else never find us.

Sincerely,

Jackl590

P.S We feel Mr. Stampede's death was vital to our escape and wish to say, Thanks for the Car.

P.P.S Your secretary has a dirty mind, we wish to meet her one day.

Edited by jackl590

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Jackl

I have dispatched my zombie associates to every town in Chenarus. We will find you and extract any and all payments from you and your band of merciless thugs.

Please comply by walking onto any town and waiting for my man to apprehend you.

Regards

The Law Office of DayZ Forums and associates.

P.S.

She will be waiting for you on top of the city hall in Elektro. Just drop a flare or two up there while you wait! ;)

Edited by Pendragon

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Dear Pendragon,

I no longer wish to speak with you on these matters and await word from the FunkyTown and Stampede families on our payment.

Sincerely,

Jackl590

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