On Hookers, Why DayZ is going the way of the Dodo, and more Hookers.

[sleepless 22]

Right fuckwits, listen up. It might be the fact that you all have the attention spans of alzheimers stricken goldfish, or that collectively you basement dwellers claim enough social security to equal one real job, or perhaps it may just be the fact that i dont live in the same room where i learnt to go pee pee and poo poo after i started growing facial hair ( you too girls). Maybe its because im an ex-mercenary and can run the mile in just under world record time but was asked by Her Majesty the fucking Queen not to show up Usain in my hometown so fuck you. For these and many other reasons, i am going to deliver to your tiny jugs the word of God.

Now i am disturbed. Not in the easy access to military weaponry type of disturbed you americans love so much even though you keep getting shot in the face, but in a 'fuck me ive seen this before' type of preeminent foreboding which, in the breadth of my manifest experience, is the gaming equivalent of a rain of fucking locusts landing on the heads of the twats with swords who just turned up at your front door asking where the old kids are.

The reason for my perturbing? Two of my goddamn favourite servers are going offline at the end of the month and this is symptomatic of the shit that is going down right now. This game has hit its highpoint and is starting to slide backwards and the reasons are pretty fucking obvious.

- Hacking, or rather scripting - fuck it weve beaten this horse to death.

- Duping - if there is anything that will keep you playing once you know the map like the little pits on the back of your wanking hand, its the constant struggle to get good gear. If you can tool up in 5 minutes by doing circles of Guba Bay so that youre a ghillie suited death dealer, shit becomes boring real fast. If you dont, then you will be shot in the face by the 33 people who have and thats boring too.

- Alt-F4 - yes the fucking magic teleport switch. I thought i was playing 28 Dayz Later, turns out im in fucking Jumpers. And that was a shit movie.

Whatever youre doing to sort this, do it fucking quick. Constantly yelling 'its an alpha' (and for the inevitable replies that will state this, let me just riposte with a catch-all 'Fuck you, you sound like a broken record has been shoved sideways up your arse which it probably has, you one trick-pony shagging wannabe troll') is no defence if the goodwill of the client base drains from a game.

There are at least two examples of games I can think of that failed miserably because they used beta as a testing ground / proof of concept and got a shit reputation as unbalanced hacked pieces of crap, even though they sorted it all out at launch or soon after. Nobody fucking cared by then - seriously one MMO in particular was sparklingly way ahead of its time but decided it would be 'fun' to use the OPEN FUCKING BETA as a testing ground for exploits. So people signed up, got killed repeatedly in the noob spawning grounds, quit. And they wondered why their launch went down the drain. Its because they were fucking morons in case you missed it.

The thing about DayZ is that you got a lot of suits looking at you with dollar signs in their eyes and theyre just waiting for you to slip up. And fuck me you are not disappointing. Youre not slipping anymore, youre hurtling downhill, and your customer base except for a few pre-pubescent scripters, is not enjoying the ride. Heres a tip - when your players take your core idea and start running it on private servers, adding content that you havent, shit is out of control. And Lingor has been popping up everywhere - one of those servers thats quiting? Its switching to Lingor. Most Admins dont mind paying to run a server, but they dont want to pay to be playgrounds for script kiddies and watch their top 10 status slip to single digit players with nothing they are allowed to do about it. And those admins that will go along with this shit, well, theyre muppets and will probably do anything for you, id suggest go find a pretty one and get a hand job.

So sort your shit out. Either shut down the Alpha or release the standalone fucking soon. War Z may be good, it more than likely wont be, but it better be before them. You got GW2, CS:GO and Sleeping Dogs coming out and that just in the next few weeks! The drain on your players is going to be fucking mental and whats the last thing you want them to remember about the fucking game before you start asking them to pay for it later? Hackers, duping and alt-f4 is top of that list right now. Fun is somewhere around their bollocks.

In the meantime, ill join the one server thats going private and see how that works out. See you on the other side, maybe.

TLDR: Fuck you, if you cant be arsed to read what the fuck you doing in here. See the wall of text and quit next time. If you want something short to read, read this again you tosser.

[Northyy 12]

cbf reading.

someone tell me if it worth it or not

[Disgraced 1123]

I read it..

In many other places before this post.

I think you were being tongue-in-cheek with the insulting, so we'll see..

Your post just said things that have already been said elsewhere, and with different degrees of insulting.

I cant imagine this thread contributing anything new to the overall discussion.

TL;DR: tl;dr

[chunkeymonkey79 86]

cbf reading.

someone tell me if it worth it or not

No. The man has reached universal levels of butthurt.

[Tiercel 63]

TL;DR - also insulting people is hardly going to make them sympathetic to your plight, go away you silly little boy.

Edited August 14, 2012 by Tiercel

[danielreid 84]

I gave you beans because you made me giggle on a tuesday morning - thanks!

[osirish 165]

I read it..

In many other places before this post.

I think you were being tongue-in-cheek with the insulting, so we'll see..

Your post just said things that have already been said elsewhere, and with different degrees of insulting.

I cant imagine this thread contributing anything new to the overall discussion.

TL;DR: tl;dr

Thank you for saving me the effort! Beanz for you.

[hunterkilla 67]

read it, read it elsewhere on lots of other forums. He basically has pointed out everything we know but most of us cant control on the alpha... thinks rockets been seduced by the mighty dollar... blah blah blah

and next on radio dayz...... how to turn a can of beans and a mountain dew into a meal for 6

[Fector 29]

cbf reading.

someone tell me if it worth it or not

No. OP thinks, that DayZ would be a released game or something.

This game has hit its highpoint and is starting to slide backwards and the reasons are pretty fucking obvious.

Try again next year.

[NightRipper 284]

[hunterkilla 67]

any reply with a picture of morgan freeman in it deserves BEANS

[hunterkilla 67]

and I wanted to read about HOOKERS! damn OP with your lies

[Stantia 0]

Dude, it"s the 3rd time in a day i"m saying it :

AT THE MOMENT, DAYZ IS NOT A MOTHAF*CKA GAME, IT"S THE ALPHA VERSION OF A FUTURE GAME.

When it will be im a standalone, there will not be glitches, h4ckers, scripters etc...

And there will be a lot of cool things..

[Bobcomss 189]

SHIT JUST GOT REAL!!

[averageterror 3]

Right fuc...

Well, I like you writing style a lot. British accent of one James Callis would suit that.

Aside from that, your post repeats one single thought - its alpha, where are the updates and why it is open.

Hopefully, BattlEye will get it sorted out. (since they started noticing scripting, I have seen too many bans and not much of the hackers, let's up it will keep up with scripting tools producers (I have found way too many ***s for 14.99USD than I hoped to in one single google search). And with standalone annoucment, I expect one to five updates maximum released before official DayZ game powered by Arma III engine is released (at least in alpha).

For me, DayZ now lacks endgame content, or cloning stuff is way too easy (or I just teamed up with 10 ppl and game began to be easier. (Me wants 150ppl in server yay!)

[dallas 5195]

Can someone post a one word summary?

[hunterkilla 67]

Can someone post a one word summary?

Hookers?

[Bobcomss 189]

Can someone post a one word summary?

Boobies

[dallas 5195]

Hookers?

I'm totally pro hookers, I'm such a big fan, I even got one in my trunk right now.

[hunterkilla 67]

Boobies

hmmmm does hookers outrank boobies?

[hunterkilla 67]

I'm totally pro hookers, I'm such a big fan, I even got one in my trunk right now.

I have made a new skin for dayz... hooker skin... im wearing it right now....i took it off the hooker in your trunk

[hunterkilla 67]

I'm totally pro hookers, I'm such a big fan, I even got one in my trunk right now.

I prefer pro hookers, better than those ones in the amateur ranks.... they need more practice

[Jgut90 71]

and I wanted to read about HOOKERS! damn OP with your lies

This man is right, where are the hookers that you said of?

[calthehunter 61]

Can someone post a one word summary?

Waste.

[lordopeth 274]

I read it..

In many other places before this post.

I think you were being tongue-in-cheek with the insulting, so we'll see..

Your post just said things that have already been said elsewhere, and with different degrees of insulting.

I cant imagine this thread contributing anything new to the overall discussion.

TL;DR: tl;dr

Thanks for this. beans for you.