Gate of Death

[marcusjoshualee@gmail.com 5]

FUDGEMONKEYCICLESBULLSH*TONASTICK. WHY? I'll tell you why.

Day 0 - Killed guy with hatchet. Epic win. More win than epic win? He had practically all the tools and a cute lil pistol.

Day 1 - Bandit chasing me. I run like the little b*tch I am. Using 2 shots left in my double-barrelled shotgun I take him out and now have a Coyote Backpack & AKM.

Day 2 - Headed to Balota Airstrip to farm. Epic win farm as I find 10 AKM mags and a crapton of other stuff. How? 3 dead guys in front of me. Apparently they somehow all killed each other. Pretty hilarious.

Day 3 - Get ganked by 2 SURVIVORS. Yes. Arseholes indeed. Killing a fellow friendly frantically typing FRIENDLY in caps but NOOoooooOoo you just HAVE to shoot him. Too bad I'm versed in "gorilla" taktukz (pun intended) and go apesh*t ninja and kill them.

Day 3 dawn - I head North to explore and find love to hopefully make a beautiful family. I'm at 10k blood and have 3 cooked meats just fyi. I find a military camp, open the gate and guess f*cking what, it's not just any gate. It's a gate that's apparently 10m long and swings into your face when you open it. My character starts bleeding and faints. No problem I thought to myself. How in the world can a gate kill me when I have 8k blood? (The gate swing did 2k damage) When the hourglass was at 2-3 seconds left I had 50 blood left and died even before I could click on bandage.

Was it because I didn't get the extra piece of meat? Was it because I was too stupid to predict how a 10 metre long gate could potentially swing into my face? Was it because apparently 1 gate > 5 potential killers? Or was it because this game is BATF*CKINGSH*TRANDOMASBALLSACKSINACUP? How in the f*ck is it even possible for a guy to get killed by swinging a door into himself? Why would he even want to do that?

Penis

[snafuu (DayZ) 30]

Penis

Yep.

[Arach (DayZ) 7]

Ah, the good old ¨Death by Door¨ bug. Been hit by that one plenty of times. We only learn the hard way, but we learn.

And i've also been diagnosed with tourettes syndromes, so i know your feel bro.

[Gogster (DayZ) 626]

Quite literally "death's door"

[deltaforce11 29]

Try again and fail....

Try again and fail...

Try again and get shot in the face..

Try again and get eaten...

Try again and survive for more than 15 minutes...

Try again and survive for more than 30 minutes...

You get the drift.

[bigRED (DayZ) 5]

You aren't a dayz vet until you've been killed by an outhouse door.

[lordopeth 274]

apesh*t ninja

Yep.

Edited July 27, 2012 by opeth

[sambody 44]

Penis

5 bean post. Epic win.

"Truly amazing"-

Beans of the today

"This gives the hope for human kind"-

coast survivor

Edited July 27, 2012 by sambody

[Kerbo 198]

You aren't a dayz vet until you've been killed by an outhouse door.

I'm glad I'm not the only one, that was embarrassing...

[bigRED (DayZ) 5]

I'm glad I'm not the only one, that was embarrassing...

yes it was...

[Armas 9]

You learn to recognize the most lethal bugs and then just avoid them.. having an inventory full of meat also helps to survive what you haven't figured out yet.