True banditry!

[AzinGaming 60]

This was too funny so I had to share.

I spawned in Elektro along the pier, and ran straight towards it, gearless. As I got there I see a guy with a handgun and a Lee Enfield on his back. Because I had nothing, I yelled out "I'm friendly, don't shoot I got nothing."

Naturally, he opened fire. And boy was he a bad shot. At practically point blank range, he unloaded a clip and scored two body shots. Bleeding and with nothing to lose (having so far lived only about 1 minute) I ran up to him and began running in circles around him. I began to sing a tuneless song that went "You're so f***king bad at this game, you can't even shoot me, you're so bad at this game, you can't even hit me."

The desperate bandit managed to reload, and then missed with 6 of his next 7 shots, and ran out of pistol ammo. However, that final one broke my legs and I fell on the ground. Dying, I continued to crawl around him. And then bizarrely, he started to crawl away from me, and I followed, singing.

A message appeared: Open Patrol Pack.

Oh, hell yes!

I opened his pack, looted everything from it into my own backpack including all his food, soda, all his Lee Enfield ammo, and yelled "Thanks for all the stuff!" and then logged out.

CHILDISH? MORONIC? AMAZINGLY FUNNY FOR ME BUT NOT HIM?

ALL THESE THINGS.

BANDITS REPRESENT EVEN WHILE DYING! Haters gonna hate but I'm still laughing.

:D :D :D :D

[LogyHD 6]

LMAO!!!

[Dj Mikey 37]

This reminds me of all the times id drop all my BA gear in a tent and run around cherno and elektro with my "BATTLE AXE OF TROLL"

to get a better picture of how i conduct myself on these covert axe operations, here is a bit about my self.

I genuinely believe most players cant aim, so i like to run in circles in the middle of fields and town tell i draw fire. once they shoot.. well .. now i know where they are muahahaha.

Bandito pride

[Beanus 61]

Pick-pocketing, I've done it once, some AFK guy, all he had was 2 bandages and 2 painkillers, I Ieft his spares, so I don't think he noticed...

[tim0o 7]

you sir, are a hero

[jamesthebrit 16]

You logged out, therefore I am disappoint.

[Komotez 29]

You logged out, therefore I am disappoint.

If he stayed logged in the bandit could get his stuff back. Making the situation a lot less funny

[mikeyfrance@hotmail.co.uk 22]

Bandit? Sure it wasn't Stevie wonder in disguise, almost certain bandits kill people, not fire around them.

[j_riddell@live.com 32]

If he stayed logged in the bandit could get his stuff back. Making the situation a lot less funny

I guess it's acceptable to log out during combat then.

[spinager 152]

I guess it's acceptable to log out during combat then.

O shut your trap. This was not close to a definition of combat.

[Komotez 29]

I guess it's acceptable to log out during combat then.

What spinacher said, assuming OPs description was accurate, this was not combat, this was random chucklefuckery. I am strongly opposed to alt-f4'ing in combat and have never done it. But this isolated incident sounds hilarious.

Edit- was going to write more but then decided i like muffins, and went to eat a muffin. So there is no edit, unless you count this pointless muffin-based addition to this message.

Edited July 26, 2012 by Komotez

[nstar247 9]

haha, great story! That guy was probably pissed when he opened his backpack!

[G0V3RNM3NT4L 132]

He didn't log out to save himself, he logged out to steal from the guy. Which makes it hilarious.

[j_riddell@live.com 32]

O shut your trap. This was not close to a definition of combat.

What spinacher said, assuming OPs description was accurate, this was not combat, this was random chucklefuckery. I am strongly opposed to alt-f4'ing in combat and have never done it. But this isolated incident sounds hilarious.

Edit- was going to write more but then decided i like muffins, and went to eat a muffin. So there is no edit, unless you count this pointless muffin-based addition to this message.

OP logged out after looting a backpack in order to prevent combat. Logging out to prevent combat is as bad as logging out during it. You didn't want him to turn around and kill you, so you logged out. Pretty clear cut. Might be funny, but still cheesy and low.

Edited July 26, 2012 by DEADS0NG

[Komotez 29]

The assailant started dicking around and crawling , op was apparently unarmed so he did not cause this. You define this as serious combat?

Logging out to prevent combat is as bad as logging out during it. .

Even though i agree, we don't get to decide that, this is just our opinion.

[j_riddell@live.com 32]

The assailant started dicking around and crawling , op was apparently unarmed so he did not cause this. You define this as serious combat?

Even though i agree, we don't get to decide that, this is just our opinion.

Not once was this situation defined as combat. My comment was an indication that I felt this scenario is as bad as combat logging, and some people took it out of context/added their own context.

And yes. Obviously, it is an opinion. Just as the idea of logging out during combat being bad is an opinion, which I'm sure some people don't agree with.

[prominentalex 76]

I've been in that situation except I was wielding an axe on someone with a Makarov.

[Komotez 29]

Not once was this situation defined as combat. My comment was an indication that I felt this scenario is as bad as combat logging, and some people took it out of context/added their own context.

And yes. Obviously, it is an opinion. Just as the idea of logging out during combat being bad is an opinion, which I'm sure some people don't agree with.

Even though you are on the opposite side of this mini-debate, it seems we aren't that different, you put your point across quite well and give valid reason for your opinions without resorting to petty name-calling like some. Lets just agree to disagree on this point. You have my beans

[j_riddell@live.com 32]

Even though you are on the opposite side of this mini-debate, it seems we aren't that different, you put your point across quite well and give valid reason for your opinions without resorting to petty name-calling like some. Lets just agree to disagree on this point. You have my beans

Fair enough.

[MrTamarian 9]

You're mentally retarded. This is the type of activity that should get you an insta-ban, really ? Stealing his stuff and logging out ? Grow some balls.

Edited July 27, 2012 by MrTamarian

[Ribano 46]

yeh bad choice man! you shouldve robbed his stuff then crawled off the edge of the peer and sink his shit to the bottom of the ocean :)

[Clutch (DayZ) 2]

well done sir

Edited July 27, 2012 by Clutch

[JDCollie 24]

You should have bit his knees off.

[nstar247 9]

You're mentally retarded. This is the type of activity that should get you an insta-ban, really ? Stealing his stuff and logging out ? Grow some balls.

You need to calm down... anyways, after he screamed friendly 3 times, the guy still fired at him. I would do the same exact thing, it is stupid, but its funny as hell and you cant deny it. And i'm pretty sure he pick pocketed the guy just to have revenge. I'm pretty sure he doesnt do stuff like this all the time( I hope, if so, then its half worth a ban).

[Obsolescence 129]

You need to calm down... anyways, after he screamed friendly 3 times, the guy still fired at him. I would do the same exact thing, it is stupid, but its funny as hell and you cant deny it. And i'm pretty sure he pick pocketed the guy just to have revenge. I'm pretty sure he doesnt do stuff like this all the time( I hope, if so, then its half worth a ban).

I agree. Does anyone really expect him to crawl all the way to the hospital just to save a few clips of enfield? He's effectively dead already. He isn't escaping to preserve his life, and for all we know the alt-f4 wasn't even necessary because it sounds like the guy wasn't even paying enough attention to turn around and shoot him.

Excellent story! Enjoyed your commitment to banditry.