Jump to content
Thunderpants_AU

I was amazed!

Recommended Posts

A story of struggle, ecstasy, devastation and amazement ensues... 

I had travelled west along the coast from my spawn at Cap Golova, scouring the security buildings for any weapons I could find.

I managed to pick up an ij with a couple of mags, a skorpion, an sgk with mags but low ammo and an fx plus an assortment of other ammo types. 

My hope was to find a mag or two for the fx and then a suppressor before heading inland to vmc, nwaf and tisy, but after searching through Prig, Novo, Balota, Pav and Bay Tikhaya mili bases, I still had no more sgk ammo, no vest, no suppressor and no fx mags. I had plenty of .45 ammo, but heading inland with less than 30 rounds for my primary weapon and no mags for my fx was not confidence inspiring. 

Finally, I made it to the Myshkeno mili base and found an Sk, Sk mags and enough ammo to sink a ship. 

I decided to try my luck in the vmc and then, assuming I lived to continue, on to nwaf. 

On my way to vmc, I stumbled upon a player base with a mili tent packed away. 

I had never, ever found a mili tent in the wild before and, like most desperate survivors, I felt that I needed it more that the current owner. 

So, off I ambled at a leisurely pace while my heart pounder, my stomach churned and the hairs on the back of my neck bristled in anticipation of the inevitable shot fired from the barrel of the gun of the irked previous owner of the mili tent I was absconding with. 

But no such shot came and I made it over the hill and far away. 

I knew I needed to find a place so out of the way that no one would ever think of coming to. 

So, as I mosied along, I pored over the map for the perfect location. 

I was so preoccupied with looking on the map and only looking up briefly to ensure that I didn't walk off of a cliff, that I did not discern that I was severely dehydrated. 

It wasn't until my character started to groan that I realised in horror that I was already half dead! 

I dropped the tent, taking note of where, but feeling a deep void where my optimism used to dwell. 

I had 2 empty canteens, an empty plastic bottle and several tins of beans, sardines and bacon, but none quenched my thirst enough for my health to cease it's spiralling descent. 

I stumbled forth into the dark forest in desperate hope that a river, a lake, a pond, a puddle was waiting for me. 

But no such luck; my handsome character pitched backward as he succumbed to severe dehydration (apparently). 

My new character takes his first breath on the coast of Cherno. 

I held little hope that I would make it back to my beloved tent before it evaporated into oblivion, so I spent the next four days (2-3 hour increments as RL allowed) looting and wandering. 

Ironically, along an almost identical path to which my previous character had taken, upon which I had found zero fx mags, I now found more than I could carry, plus ammo, plus a vest, plus an sgk with mags and scope and torch mount. This time around, all I lacked was a decent backpack, so I spent the next days wearing a bright yellow dry backpack to compliment my leopard print patrol jacket and pants. 

Finally, I arrived at the area where I had dumped the tent four days ago. 

I continued jogging, not slowing down to survey the area, without any thread of hope, the constant voice in my head telling me that I'm fooling myself and that coming out this way was just a huge waste of time. 

And then I spotted it. 

Neatly packed. 

The morning dew glistening upon it in the warm sun. 

It's long, green handles reaching out to me, whispering in a familiar voice "I waited for you. I knew you would return." 

I was dumbfounded. 

I sat I'm my armchair with my mouth open until my wife, who was watching her shows in silent disdain of my adventures noticed my stunned mullet expression and lovingly queried "what the hell is wrong with you, now?!"

All I could stammer was "I can't believe it; it's still here! I can't believe it..." 

And here ends the heroic tale of ThunderpantsAU: Tent thief. 

I hope you enjoyed this epic story. 

Please feel free to share your own. 

*bows*

Edited by Thunderpants_AU
Clarification
  • Like 3
  • Haha 1
  • Beans 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sparks notes version:

 

He wasn't paying attention. With his dying breath he dropped his beloved tent that he found.

Wandered his way back to his location. Found his tent. It was wet from deer pee and rain. 

He was happy.

The end.

  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

×