My char needs the bathroom...

[albinorhino 174]

So I've been alive for four days straight. I've eaten more pasta in these four days than an Italian has in the past year. I've drank more litres of fizzy pop than a family of five does in two years and I've eaten enough tins of beans to fill in several landfill sites, yet my character seems to have absorbed all of this fattening / gassy / constipation causing food as if it was nothing.

Why do our zombie apocolypse alter egos never have the urge to defecate their bowels in the nearest bush or relieve their bladder that is on the verge of rupturing and leaking vile liquids all over our internal organs?

Imagine this, your character has two additional icons in the bottom right. Bowel status and bladded status. Green means you don't need to relieve yourself and flashing red means your going to need a change of shorts soon.

Your crawling through Cherno, you've been here for six hours straight. Looting, pillaging and murdering when nature starts screaming at you that your lower bowel is about to rid itself of one nasty payload. You panic and start looking for somewhere, ANYWHERE, to hitch your shorts to the ground, squat and fertilise the grass. But your too late! Your anus lets out an audible gasp that can be heard from the next town over and you fill your short with what feels like incredibly lumpy gravy.

If the audible raspberry your arse produced didn't alert any local zeds as if you had just fired a Lee Enfield, then the stench of a few days worth of sardines, beans and sugary coke will surely bring every member of the living dead within half a klick to come feast on your now relieved anus.

Remember, bowel movements are not just for real life!

This joke thread has been brought to you by Unholy_Kyono.

---

Nobody has a sense of humour these days?

[TheGoldElite 0]

Because if absoultely nessecary we can just piss and crap wherever/in our trousers. Just assume they do it while logged out, because you didnt go toilet while in game either

[albinorhino 174]

Because if absoultely nessecary we can just piss and crap wherever/in our trousers. Just assume they do it while logged out' date=' because you didnt go toilet while in game either

[/quote']

Was a joke thread dude.

[bigvalco 0]

Was a joke thread dude.

Can I still vote yes?

[albinorhino 174]

Was a joke thread dude.

Can I still vote yes?

Only if the thought of finding out that some bugger looted all the toilet roll from the supermarket terrifies you.

[stover1985@rogers.com 0]

It would actually be kinda funny if having to goto the bathroom was added. I'd find it personally entertaining to snipe someone while taking a shit in the bush. Of course, I'd also find it hilarious to BE shot while taking said dump. Ah, all part of the game xD.

[albinorhino 174]

It would actually be kinda funny if having to goto the bathroom was added. I'd find it personally entertaining to snipe someone while taking a shit in the bush. Of course' date=' I'd also find it hilarious to BE shot while taking said dump. Ah, all part of the game xD.

[/quote']

but imagine this, you have your kecks down round your ankles when a sniper round slams into the tree next to you. Does your character suffer from terror and literally shits him/herself in fear?

[hayro 0]

boy if this thing added people will kill each other for toilet paper rolls and heres my suggestion:

Add hygiene

Not only sound attract zombies when you crap into your pants smell attract zombies too

When you crap into your pants your hygiene will turn flashing red and you lose hygiene over time to refill simply wash your hands on water well or swim in water pound or sea

[stover1985@rogers.com 0]

It would actually be kinda funny if having to goto the bathroom was added. I'd find it personally entertaining to snipe someone while taking a shit in the bush. Of course' date=' I'd also find it hilarious to BE shot while taking said dump. Ah, all part of the game xD.

[/quote']

but imagine this, you have your kecks down round your ankles when a sniper round slams into the tree next to you. Does your character suffer from terror and literally shits him/herself in fear?

Dude. Yes.. 100%

Or well, maybe if you're just getting started. If you were already done, might be kinda hard xD

[TheGoldElite 0]

Because if absoultely nessecary we can just piss and crap wherever/in our trousers. Just assume they do it while logged out' date=' because you didnt go toilet while in game either

[/quote']

Was a joke thread dude.

Haha you'd be surprised the things people post on this forum while being serious :S

[hayro 0]

bumpity bumpity bump bump bump!

[albinorhino 174]

boy if this thing added people will kill each other for toilet paper rolls and heres my suggestion:

Add hygiene

Not only sound attract zombies when you crap into your pants smell attract zombies too

When you crap into your pants your hygiene will turn flashing red and you lose hygiene over time to refill simply wash your hands on water well or swim in water pound or sea

Oh yes, swimming in the ponds etc with a load of crap in your shorts. Pollute the water thus causing infections to anyone who drinks / swims in it ;)

[albinorhino 174]

Seems that Rocket took my joke and ran with it. Poop is being added to the game! :thumbsup:

[thelonewarrior 886]

I think hygene as another icon would be something that could make the game interesting.

If you let it get too low, you get sick and need antibiotics, one simple effect right there.

But if you let it get flashing red. it gives you the dirty bastard skin (a guy in a trenchcoat all dirty with flies around him) and also adds the flies sound so other players can tell you are near.

The advantage however is that zombies wont attack you even if you run in plain view, only firing will attract them as you now smell like a zombie. But the sound of flies should be different so another player can recognise the dirty bastard flies from up to 50m away

Two ways to make the hygene metre green

1. swimming into a small pond and scrolling to 'wash self'

2. find soap as an item and use it.

[Forgewolf 70]

I think hygene as another icon would be something that could make the game interesting.

If you let it get too low, you get sick and need antibiotics, one simple effect right there.

But if you let it get flashing red. it gives you the dirty bastard skin (a guy in a trenchcoat all dirty with flies around him) and also adds the flies sound so other players can tell you are near.

The advantage however is that zombies wont attack you even if you run in plain view, only firing will attract them as you now smell like a zombie. But the sound of flies should be different so another player can recognise the dirty bastard flies from up to 50m away

Two ways to make the hygene metre green

1. swimming into a small pond and scrolling to 'wash self'

2. find soap as an item and use it.

I want the Dirty Bastard skin! To be immune to zombies is for the win..

[SmashT 10907]

You're going to have to hold it until standalone.

[thelonewarrior 886]

Lol made another post with a poll for the dirty bastard skin :)

Vote there and we may get it!

[UbiquitousBadGuy 846]

What a shitty thread.

*crickets*

As for my sense of humor, it ran out the first 10 or so times that a thread like this was posted.

[Doom Guy 128]

When you shit your pants, a bunch of flies follow you around. Imagine, sitting in the woods and you hear a distant buzzing growing closer, you turn around and see a psycho with an ax that smells like shit.

[albinorhino 174]

What a shitty thread.

*crickets*

As for my sense of humor, it ran out the first 10 or so times that a thread like this was posted.

This was first created back in June. I've seen several threads pop up since then but I like to consider this thread to be the original. What a "shit" sense of humour you have ;)

[Steak and Potatoes 13480]

What a shitty thread.

*crickets*

As for my sense of humor, it ran out the first 10 or so times that a thread like this was posted.

Agreed

[puppetworx 474]

Who says that I don't defecate while playing DayZ?

[Atom Quark 437]

So if zeds were attracted to the smell you could leave a decoy dump on one side of town then sneak to the other side and loot it. If you use an outhouse you get perks to disease resistance etc or other rewards, but you need a newspaper to use them.

[Kaffarov37 125]

That would be awkward.

[electroban 102]

taking a dump in the game will be a signature troll move to do to a player after uve killed them or made them passout