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execpro22

100 things I learned from DAYZ

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75. zombies punch you in the chest yet still manage to break your leg

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77. There are no females in Chernarus :

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77. There are no females in Chernarus :<

Other than all those females you see around, right?

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78. Zombies are after your fleshlight. See 77. if you want to know why.

Ahaha, you sir are very funny!

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81. Banditos favorite meal is their victems beans...

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82 dayZ is the most realistic zombie simulator which is remarkable considering that zombies don't actually exist.

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83: The animals in DayZ have no other aim in life than to be food for you, running or hiding is not in their DNA.

84: Rabbits in DayZ are made of titanium and are the exception to rule 83:

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85. Chernarus is teeming with barbed-wire from open fields to firestations and barracks.

86. If a survivor of a zombie apocalypse decides he is too far from a destination he takes a randomly obtained cyanide pill as a way of giving up. (Why walk when you can spawn)

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87. In a Zombie apocolypse, everyone forgets how to jump and can only do vaults.

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88. My cousin’s daughter defies DayZ laws of physics and crawls up the stairs all the time. Or maybe she is a Zed crawler in disguise. MMM...

89. The laws of physics are warped around the Lands of Chernos, gravity is very unstable. Causing massive death to all survivors. This phenomenon does not apply to animals and Zeds. It's the squirrel hive mind I tell you; I mean have you seen any squirrels. NO, because they are using their powers to make themselves invisible so you won’t shoot and eat them...

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93. all survivors can run for hundreds of kilometers without stopping

94. russian smoke grenades sometimes blow holes in houses (happened to me before lol)

95. rotting human remains can sprint faster than living humans

96. when it rains in chernarus, you are more noticeable

97. in zombie apocalypse, survivors hide vehicles in forest, then disappear.

98. in zombie apocalypse, the main goal of most survivors is to kill other survivors

99. russian painkillers take effect instantly

100. 1950's soviet bicycles are quiet yet make as much noise as a car

i win

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101. An alpha is a trigger-word for gamers that elicits a "FIXITFIXITFIXIT" response.

Did I break the game?

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102. ghillie suits are actually wookie teleportation suits (still work in progress, currently only teleport you into an ocean)

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103: In Chernarus, supermarket managers never caught on to the western trend of stocking raw meat.

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105. People in Chernarus tend to hide multiple weapons in their barns, but none food.

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Putting over 10 bullets from my l85 into a person will result in that person having enough time to shoot back and have a death delay of like 5 second, while also killing me before they even shoot.

I got jumped on by two bandits.

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