The Way of the Bandit

[forceofthegrim 16]

Well, I've got to thinking. I've just made a recent decision, and that is to be a bandit. I haven't actually done this in practice yet, as I seem to almost never come across anybody (even on a highly populated server I can run around Cherno with no contact whatsoever... just luck I guess), but it made me start thinking of ways I could rob people.

 

I just want to state a distinction that I make between a bandit and a murderer. What I refer to as a murderer is a KoS-ing douchebag. A bandit is someone who actually takes the time to get creative with their "profession" and even takes a little pride in the various ways they rob people.

 

Now, I have gathered that a great many bandits are not actually bandits per say, but rather they are murderers, plain and simple. KoS-ing has become a big issue with some people, so when I decided to become a bandit, I actually put some thought into the ways I would actually go about stealing other people's hard-earned supplies. First off, I just want everyone to know that I would only rob someone if they had something I needed... Okay I would probably also do it for kicks, but I would never rob someone who looks like they don't have anything, because what would be the point in that, right? In fact, I usually help those people by giving them food, supplies, or directions if they're new. I'm a monster with a conscience (like Dexter! :P ). Anyways, I've listed some methods below, and I was just wondering, what are some of the ways you bandits out there do what you do? Try to be as creative as you can, and stories about specific robberies (ones that went bad, an especially creative idea that you made up as you went along, etc.) are more than welcome.

 

With that said, here are some of the techniques I hope to employ when marauding the coast:

 

- Handcuff you, put a bag over your head, steal what I want, lead you up some stairs, and make you jump off a building, but only high enough to break your legs, remove your restraints, and then run away.

 

- Handcuff you, and then force march you to Green Mountain, where you shall bask in the glory of the Great Monolith while you draw your last breath.

 

- Handcuff you, and then get out my trusty disinfectant spray, and make you drink it. Possibly with a rotten fruit on the side.

 

- Handcuff you, and beat you with my fists until you are unconscious, loot you, bandage you up, remove the handcuffs, and run away.

 

- Handcuff and bag you, and force march you to the nearest jail cell, where I shall keep you as my pet, Buffalo Bill style (IT PUTS THE ROTTEN KIWI IN ITS MOUTH!!!).

 

- Jedi mind tricks. Just follow you around and screw with your head (use a voice modifier, randomly shoot at the ground near you, set a trail of items for you to follow with something creepy at the end, and when you turn around I'll just be standing there, etc.).

 

- Finally, my personal favorite: Handcuff and bag you, lead you deep into the middle of the forest, and leave you with nothing but a single article of clothing and one can of beans, but with nothing to open them, knock you out, remove the restraints and run away.

 

 

That's pretty much everything I can come up with. Some slow deaths in there, but mostly I want to try to keep the person alive while preventing them from following me afterwords. What about you guys?

Edited February 20, 2014 by forceofthegrim

[Geckofrog7 1168]

 

 

- Jedi mind tricks. Just follow you around and screw with your head (use a voice modifier, randomly shoot at the ground near you, set a trail of items for you to follow with something creepy at the end, and when you turn around I'll just be standing there, etc.).

 

 May I suggest using a soundboard? Its funny as hell.

(I used a solid snake soundboard to ask where to find a sniper rifle. :P )

[DropBearChick 1216]

You could axe people questions

Force them to blow up a gas station

Get them drunk from alcohol tintcure

Handcuff em and lead zombies to em

Feed them till they die of fullness

Give them the wrong blood

[Wolfguarde 108]

Invader Zim soundboard. A great many people will love you. Nearly as many will fucking hate you XD

[Pete1601 37]

What I refer to as a murderer is a KoS-ing douchebag.

 

With that said, here are some of the techniques I hope to employ when marauding the coast:

 

- Handcuff you, put a bag over your head, steal what I want, lead you up some stairs, and make you jump off a building, but only high enough to break your legs, remove your restraints, and then run away.

 

- Handcuff you, and then get out my trusty disinfectant spray, and make you drink it. Possibly with a rotten fruit on the side.

 

So basically your one upping the the guys you hate by leaving someone in a worse position?

 

I would rather be shot by some tosser in a tree with a sniper i never got to see than some guy who thinks hese better just because he breaks my legs.

 

The guy who shoots me halts my fun for a possible 10 minutes where i have to run back to the position he shot me at, you however could cost me a hour if not longer to die from one of your griefing options.

 

Dont judge another players gameplay when your own can cause equal, if not more grief.

Edited February 20, 2014 by Pete1601

[Geckofrog7 1168]

So basically your one upping the the guys you hate by leaving someone in a worse position?

 

I would rather be shot by some tosser in a tree with a sniper i never got to see than some guy who thinks hese better just because he breaks my legs.

 

The guy who shoots me halts my fun for a possible 10 minutes where i have to run back to the position he shot me at, you however could cost me a hour if not longer to die from one of your stupid options.

 

Dont judge another players gameplay when your own can cause more grief.

Lolwut? Grief? This sounds frickin' hilarious. I wish more bandits where this creative. (Instead of just shooting me in the face without a second thought, like some kind of big ARMA deathmatch.)

[jasher11 67]

sounds like fun, the only problem is... a lot of people will say no and just try run or charge. so remember an M4 :P

also i would much rather be held up than shot from 300m away just for being in the wrong place at the wrong time

[Pete1601 37]

Lolwut? Grief? This sounds frickin' hilarious. I wish more bandits where this creative. (Instead of just shooting me in the face without a second thought, like some kind of big ARMA deathmatch.)

yes grief, your honestly telling me you would rather someone take all your stuff, break your legs, leave you handcuffed and a bag over your head than a bullet to the brain?

The only difference here is the guy is not pulling the trigger so that somehow makes him better?

 

BS.

[Pete1601 37]

Im not debating his ideas are much more creative and probably a hell of alot more fun.

 

Im just telling you that if your going to leave a player in the position described above you might as well finish it with a bullet out of kindness.

[Geckofrog7 1168]

yes grief, your honestly telling me you would rather someone take all your stuff, break your legs, leave you handcuffed and a bag over your head than a bullet to the brain?

that would be hilarious.

Lighten up, dude.

Edited February 20, 2014 by Geckofrog7

[forceofthegrim 16]

yes grief, your honestly telling me you would rather someone take all your stuff, break your legs, leave you handcuffed and a bag over your head than a bullet to the brain?

The only difference here is the guy is not pulling the trigger so that somehow makes him better?

 

BS.

 

 

With one difference - I said I would remove the restraints. If I forgot to mention that, oops.

 

 

Also, just one thing:

 

I don't think I'm any better than anyone. I hate arrogance. Absolutely detest it. All I'm saying is that it's more entertaining (be it entertaining for me, or my victim) to come up with an elaborate way to rob someone rather than just shooting them. If I am going to rob/kill someone, I want to at least be original. I apologize if that offends you somehow. If you don't cooperate, then yes, I will make you suffer...

 

At the end of the day, all I'm trying to accomplish is utilizing my creativity to make you have a more interesting story to tell. Telling people about the time the crazy maniac dragged you up to Green Mountain to make you worship the space needle is more entertaining than "some douche shot me in the head and took my stuff."

Edited February 20, 2014 by forceofthegrim

[forceofthegrim 16]

You could axe people questions

Force them to blow up a gas station

Get them drunk from alcohol tintcure

Handcuff em and lead zombies to em

Feed them till they die of fullness

Give them the wrong blood

 

 

Hadn't thought of any of those, except the zombie one. Nice ideas, especially the first one, it's so punalicious.

[Rockapotomus 25]

ITT: 12 year old power fantasies, grow up and just knock em out then steal their shit like the rest of us

[forceofthegrim 16]

ITT: 12 year old power fantasies, grow up and just knock em out then steal their shit like the rest of us

 

Excuse me, but I'm almost 20, dick.

Edited February 20, 2014 by forceofthegrim

[novogeek 253]

I guess if the individual doesn't want to be held up ... they can just log when they are in Handcuffs ... that will kill them.

 

I for one will choose to avoid you ... but if I do get caught ... will play out the situation ... 8-}

[fundan@gmx.de 82]

[forceofthegrim 16]

 

haha xD

[Nurrvillian 23]

Man i really wish i ran into a real bandit i was on a server earlier today with one other god damn player looting Elektro Fire Station and some bastard thought it funny to server hop into the building and shoot me in the face when all i had was a damn back pack. 15 minutes of running from Solichny to Elektro to be KoS'd by some server hopping homo that couldnt be bothered robbing me in a creative way just shot me in the face took nothing from my lifeless corpse and continued along his merry way i would definitely rather be knocked out handcuffed and robbed poor than shot in any situation,

 

Some people need to take a hard look at their perspective on co-operation because although in an apocalyptic scenario you could not trust anyone you also would not in real life shoot the only person you had seen in 225 sq KM without so much as saying hello first at least you wouldn't shoot them if they were un armed and you holding a pistol at them can anybody tell me what threat i could have possibly posed to this douche bag at such a high level that he had to shoot me on sight i don't understand why an wish that at some point i could meet someone that was interested in going cross country wiht me instead of crossing blades

You may beat and rob them however shooting them would definitely not be at the top of the fucking list.

[AceRimm3R 11]

 Handcuff them, rob them, break there legs, un-cuff them, and give them directions to the meds and splints that you have stashed for their recovery. Follow their progress, (if/when they arrive they find food and a weapon to help them on their way)