[A letter to my hostage] "I stole your pants."

[Craux 81]

I held you against your will tonight. Not because I saw you beating a man with an axe, but because I can. I screamed at you telling you to get your hands up and you complied with a don't shoot me and a confused tone. I began to handcuff you so you wouldn't escape.. I bandaged your victim even though you claimed he tried to kill you first and bandaged both of your wounds. Your victim was unconscious so it was just you me and my friend watching as I had my way with you.


I was excited with anticipation of what I wanted to do first...should I force feed you this roten kiwi? Should I shove disinfectant spray down your throat? Or should I just watch you bleed from the stab wounds of my rusty kitchen knife.

"NO." I said..."Thats child's play, I will take your pants."

I grinned ear to ear as I slipped off your trousers...this is my trophy. This is my reward for keeping you alive. Oh my hostage from kamenka. I will treasure these pants for the rest of my life and I will always remember my first.


....but there are more pants to be snatched...oh yes....

So many pants indeed...

I hope to see you again good sir and hope you find yourself more pants for me to take.

Remember you always,
Snowden

 

Edited December 19, 2013 by Craux

[applejaxc 2500]

*sniff* and THEN he touched my no-no parts :(

[OfficerRaymond 2064]

Every person that I kill.... I steal their trousers.

 

I'm an evil bastard.

[Craux 81]

Every person that I kill.... I steal their trousers.

 

I'm an evil bastard.

what is better are the cries of confusion and thier calls for help when you keep them alive....

You are not bandit...you don't APPRECIATE ANYTHING.

Edited December 19, 2013 by Craux

[applejaxc 2500]

Every person that I kill.... I steal their trousers.

 

I'm an evil bastard.

I rip whatever clothes I don't want into rags so no one can have my left overs.

[Statik (DayZ) 2695]

My mission is now to be the "Great Pants Returner".

 

I shall stand on a tall building and throw out blue jeans for all!

[OfficerRaymond 2064]

what is better are the cries of confusion and thier calls for help when you keep them alive....

You are not bandit...you don't APPRECIATE ANYTHING

Whoa. Calm down spazoid. lol

 

I don't usually kill players, I always try to rob them. But if they run or come at me I have no choice, as that is a can of beans or soda that could be escaping my grasp. When they're dead. I steal their pants.

[Verex11 95]

This is great.  :beans:

Edited December 19, 2013 by Verex11

[Craux 81]

Im so happy I can keep people hostage instead of killing them. SooooooOoOOoO much more fun. Now if only I can drag them into a house with a basement I barricaded up. I can finally live my dreams of matching john wayne gacy's level of creepy.

Edited December 19, 2013 by Craux

[Flagella 69]

What's better is just leaving a man with no clothes!

[Jace C 7]

Screenshot or it didn't happen.

[GanjaPalooza 35]

Those pants will be gone when you die ;)