Your dumbest/embarassing Bandit stories.

[Mephistopheles (DayZ) 1]

C'mon, everyone has one or two of these sheer moments of stupidity.You perhaps had it recently, or at the first time that you decided jumping on the bandit bandwagon. I'd like to look back and laugh on those moments. So, if we share, we can all laugh together, i suppose?

 

This happened but a mere hours ago, i was stalking around Elektro and it's surrounding Sniper hills, looking for someone to kill and steal their goodies, fair and simple. I listened to the shots coming from nearby and decided to investigate. There was a sniper group of two right behind the Power Plant firestation, sniping with DMR's. I decided to wait until one of them got a kill and went away to retrieve the loot, as i didn't have THAT much of an ammo in my AK, and eh,  i suck at aiming. So, he went away and i started to slowly creep towards the first guy using the DMR, i creeped up as close as 10 meters and unloaded what was left of my ammo. Assuming that his friend would come, i quickly pressed the gear screen and took the DMR, all jolly and happy because i had just got a DMR with near to zero effort! I ran up the nearby hill, to get a vantage position, switched to my newly acquired DMR, and pressed reload. Nothing. I looked again and pressed it, hoping it was lag. Nothing again. I pressed G only to realise that, somehow, i forgot to take the mags along with the DMR. I had a brand new, shiny DMR with no ammo. Such a feeling. I decided to tease the guys over side chat, telling his friend to give me the DMR ammo as a prize, but no avail, i was soon flanked, and after a five minute chase, down on the ground. I saw the guy emptying a clip into my corpse right before the *You are dead screen*

 

So, as i said, my fellow Bandits, what's your most embarassing stories?

[Skat3rat 1633]

Some guy was trying to shoot my friend so I snuck up from behind him and shot him with my DMR.  He fell unconscious and I walked over and took him hostage.  As I was running away with him some bambi came out of nowhere and killed me and the hostage with a revolver.

 

I've never felt so terrible before at DayZ. 

[Danchebanana 13]

Some guy was trying to shoot my friend so I snuck up from behind him and shot him with my DMR.  He fell unconscious and I walked over and took him hostage.  As I was running away with him some bambi came out of nowhere and killed me and the hostage with a revolver.

 

I've never felt so terrible before at DayZ. 

Hello brother sloth. #Slothnation4life

Edited August 2, 2013 by Danchebanana

[Skat3rat 1633]

Hello brother sloth. #Slothnation4life

 

It's like we're lost sloth brothers from Narnia who got separated at birth and then sent to mexico to work as drug dealers until we were able to afford pcs for dayz. 

#slothbrothersreunited

Edited August 2, 2013 by Skat3rat

[wild_man 4442]

I do 'z' key to go prone on some roof and guy does usain bolt sprint style off the roof, I do this 3 time now :huh:

[khaenz 93]

Not my fail, but a fail on 4 other bandits.

 

So my friend, after killing an Elektro sniper, saw a guy at north firestation trying to find the sniper (My friend mistaked it for the guy being the snipers friend) so he started trying to kill the guy with his new sniper. The guy survived a shot and took cover, and in side chat said "DON'T MESS WITH THE GREAT MIGUEL SENF, FOR HE HAS FRIENDS!". Yes it was in caps. Then suddenly opposite of sniper hill (Where I was positioned, trying to snipe the sniper) I saw two bandits moving around, probably trying to find my friend. I killed them and moved up to loot, when I got hit by 2 AK shots and around 4 missed me. Another bandit, armed with an AKS-74u. He camped behind a tree, I rushed him and he reacted very slowly. I killed him just as he turned to me.

 

The guy at Elektro North firestation in side chat: "NOO, THE FRIENDS OF THE GREAT MIGUEL SENF HAS BEEN DEFEATED!".

 

He later got killed by some guy with an enfield.

 

I also tried to stalk someone once. I lost track of him in Vyshnoye, and thought he was going to Stary Sobor. I was heading to a good position to get a good look at Stary Sobor, when I just got killed by the guy who I stalked. He had stopped at Pop Ivan and thats why he was behind me. Biggest fail ever.

[Demophon 48]

I had a go at being a bandit a while back... Don't being hating.

So me and my friend were at NWAF, looting as you do. We go to south barracks my friend finds an M16 ACOG we both proceed to the hangars to check for loot. Some how we get split up and I head for the first hangar to find who I thought was my friend since he had the same gun and same clothes as him, me being dumb I spot the coyote backpack and tell my friend over skype "Nice coyote, man". He replies "I don't have a coyote".. I freeze, a voice over direct say "Hey ready to go?" (I think he thought I was his friend.). Then a bandit comes from behind and I get murdered... Ahh derp ;)

[Wolfensteinsaurus 2252]

I was about to execute a guy, I was acting all tough...

But I didn't know the m9 was out of ammo...

[wild_man 4442]

I was about to execute a guy, I was acting all tough...

But I didn't know the m9 was out of ammo...

you are sure 100% is not angle of firing pin? ;)

[Wolfensteinsaurus 2252]

you are sure 100% is not angle of firing pin? ;)

Jesus Christ...

I sat there pulling the trigger, I finally just hacked him to death...

[Spikér 136]

trying to shoot an enemy car with an M203. Not knowing my friends had moved ours, when i fired at the enemy car,  the shot missed (driving side on to me) and went right into our car with my 2 friends in  with all our gear.....

 

Lesson of the day?

 

Tell your fking friends if your moving a car!

[blanewhite99@aol.com 6]

So me and my friend were setting up a trap at the nw airfield. He put in the side chat that he had a broken leg and no morphine and was inside the large wharehouse building and there was a lot of zombies outside. He did actually lay down inside the building so it seemed more realistic and he wouldn't be labeled as a bandit because I was hiding in the forest nearby and I would be killing the victim. SO someone did reply and said they were on the way. I was prone and had very good lines of site on the building and I was using a G36, so we were almost sure this would work.... then the guy that replied showed up with 5 other people and my friend and I were slaughtered... lesson learned. :ph34r:

[The Aquatic Land Walrus 565]

I was brand new to the game, and had just found my first Winchester. Someone popped out of a building, and shot at me with a dinner bell. Because I had aggro, a zombie ran in front of the shot, and died. I sprinted behind a building, and dumped my mag into him. I placed a satchel charge on his body, ran away, saluted, and detonated it right when he woke up.

Zombies were meant to help you, silly.

[Void91 0]

I stumbled across a camp with barriers, tank traps, wire, all of that stuff that screams "I'm friendly!". I spent a good 10 minutes loading all the weapons and ammo into one vehicle to use as my quick get away. I was butchering their tents and other vehicles one by one and laughing the whole time. I killed another survivor who looked like he saw me and was trying to get closer, so I started hurrying up before his buddies started showing up. Got into an offroad truck and it wouldn't start. Soon enough I'm on the ground bleeding out with a giant flame and a smoldering vehicle next to me. I guess I started shooting the wrong vehicle eh? Rage quit right after the death message popped up. Bandit: 0 Stupidity: 1

[Bandit_Actual 0]

One time I held a bambi up who had just spawned in Cherno. I took him to the firehouse where my buddy was looting, and we told him to go on the top floor and if he came down we'd kill him. We were making plans, and heard a loud CRUNCH. WTF?! We thought, didn't ever care to investigate. Then that little bambi came up the stairs with a hatchet he had found outside and killed us both, taking our gear. It appears he glitched through the wall and broke his legs, and found a hatchet outside of the Firehouse on a dead body, as well as some morphine... Not making the mistake of letting them live anymore,  ^_^ .