SHIT/PISS SYSTEM V1.2

[thesneakyfatcat 76]

IT'S HERE FOLKS

Sorry I haven't been here in 11 months, life kind of gets in the way. Anyways, I updated some of the details of the shit/piss system v1.1. (You can check my other topics, if you'd like to see the revisions.)

Changes are in bold text.

The Piss System

1. When you spawn, your piss meter is at 5/10.

2. Your piss meter rises 1 every 10 minutes (automatically adds 1 for every beverage consumed).

3. Pissing resets your piss meter.

4. You can piss a distance of 5 meters. Females cannot do this.

5. Upon your piss meter getting to 9 , you move slightly slower and have a chance (5% every 5 seconds) to piss yourself.

6. Upon your piss meter reaching 10, you instinctively piss yourself.

7. Upon pissing yourself you make an audible groan that raises your hearing meter by 2 for 5 seconds.

8. Pissing will raise your sight and hearing meter by 1.

9. You can aim your piss, but you cannot move around while doing so. You cannot aim your piss as a female character.

10. If you are dehydrated, you piss blood and lose 300 each piss. Standard piss rates apply, except if you drink something; then your hydration meter gets reset to 0, your piss meter goes up by 1, and you no longer piss blood.

11. You can fill water bottles with piss and drink it (or prank your friends and piss in theirs!) but it only fills half of what a "normal" drink would on your hydration meter.

12. Drinking your own blood piss restores the blood you lost from it.

13. Drinking your friends blood piss kills you.

14. Having someone drink your blood piss counts as a murder.

15. Drinking piss gives you a 5% chance of getting a disease (10% if its another persons). Only 1% 10% of these diseases are lethal.

16. Pissing takes 15 seconds (30 if you're pissing blood).

17. Zombies may be deterred but are not harmed by your piss. Piss on them as a distraction. Piss on bandits if you want to too, I guess.

18. Female characters take twice as long to piss.

The Shit System

1. Upon spawning you have a shit meter of 2/10

2. Shitting will reset your shit meter.

3. Shitting will raise your sight and hearing meter by 1.

4. Shitting is unique in the sense that the length of the shit depends on how much you ate/what you ate. It will take 5 seconds multiplied by your shit meter plus 10. Use the formula t=5s+10 to figure out how long your shit will be. See the attached graph if you don't understand 6th grade math.

5. Eating food will raise your shit meter by 1. If your shit meter is at 5 or above, it will rise 1 every 10 minutes. If it is below 5 it will rise 1 every 20 minutes.

6. Upon your shit meter reaching 10, you instinctively shit yourself. Shit takes 30 seconds to clean from your pants (10 if you have a full water bottle. The bottle gets emptied in the process)

7. Shit will despawn in 30 minutes.

8. If you shit when the meter at 8 or above you have a chance of constipation (5%).

Constipation can now happen at any shit level. The chance is still 5%

If you get constipated, the shit takes 2x as long as it usually would (see graph). If you're constipated you make painful groans that add 2 to your hearing meter in a short 0.5 second period every 5 seconds until you're done shitting. Divide your shit time by 5 to see how many groans you'll have.

9. If your meter is at 9 or above you move slightly slower as you clench your sphincter and have a chance (5% every 5 seconds) to shit your pants.

10. Shit attracts zombies in a 20 meter radius whether it's in your pants or on the ground or in your backpack/inventory and if you lure zombies to shit, they will stop and eat it for 10 seconds. Use this to your advantage! Only one zombie can eat the same piece of shit at a time.

11. Toilets will be added to the game and be littered around Chernarus. If you use a toilet, shitting takes 5 seconds half the time less than it usually does. This completely removes the constipation debuff and will encourage people to use toilets.

12. Toilet paper will be added to the game. If you don't wipe after a shit, you have a 5% 15% chance to get an ass infection. Only 1% of ass infections are lethal.

Toilet paper has a chance to spawn anywhere but can be found mostly around other toilets or in residential loot areas.

13. Toilet paper will be stackable (up to 5).

14. You cannot reuse toilet paper.

15. Shit IS lethal. If you eat it, you WILL die. The entire server will get a message saying that "player x has eaten their own shit" or "player x has eaten player y's shit" in commemoration of your bravery.

16. If another player eats your shit, it counts as a murder on your part so be careful of where you shit (unless you're into that kind of thing, you kinky bastard)

17. The "take a shit" button will be PRESS and HOLD, meaning that you can spam the button to make small dots like morse code, leaving messages for people on roads or roofs of buildings. (You can thank forum poster "Fish" for this one.)18. You can add shit to your inventory. It will only take up 1 spot and WILL attract zombies (see 10).19. You can throw your shit like you can throw tin cans. Zombies are attracted to it. These can be used to make traps/block off entrances for other players. If you manage to throw your shit at another player, he will get covered in shit and will attract zombies in a 30 meter radius. (Similar to boomer bile/pipe bombs in L4D/L4D2.)20. The respawn button will be removed and you now must eat shit and die to respawn.21. It is a well known fact that girls do not shit. This is an upside to being a female, which will be balanced in another post detailing a "female only" menstruation system and the fact that they take twice as long to piss.

18. You can put shit in dead players' and dead zombies' inventories. This will allow the removal of the "Hide Body" because the zombies will eat the corpse after being attracted to it.

19. There will be an "Inspect Shit" option upon arriving at a piece of shit. Upon inspecting, the player will be greeted with: 1. Who took the shit. 2. When the shit was taken. And finally 3. How healthy the person is (what they've been eating, what they've been drinking, their blood level, etc...)

SORRY GUYS, I don't think I will get around to making the female menstruation system due to reasons beyond my control.

Thanks for reading, guys. I spent a lot of time on this

[icomrade 201]

hmm... no?

[Fraggle (DayZ) 15720]

Is it like this over on the WOW forums too or is it unique to us?

[Steak and Potatoes 13480]

The Piss System

#12 is OP

[Statik (DayZ) 2695]

Food meter is represented by a Can, Water meter is represented by a bottle.

What is the "piss" and "shit" meter going to be represented by?

[theozonematters 5]

Excellent idea! It's a realistic zombie apocalypse video game. It wouldn't have much of a realism factor if you couldn't do your business. As a person who has been playing DayZ for over a year now, I can say, this needs to be added. Have fun with my beans!

[thesneakyfatcat 76]

The Piss System

#12 is OP

Sorry I didn't go too into the details on that one. It will only give you around 2500 blood.

EDIT: You also won't have that many water bottles on hand anyways...

Edited July 4, 2013 by thesneakyfatcat

[AmberHelios 2071]

Thanks for reading, guys. I spent a lot of time on this

Yes, yes you did

[Fraggle (DayZ) 15720]

What is blood piss?

[Steak and Potatoes 13480]

What is blood piss?

You don't want to know

[AmberHelios 2071]

What is blood piss?

isnt it what you get when you get kicked in the nuts really hard

Edited July 4, 2013 by AmberHelios

[applejaxc 2500]

No.

[thesneakyfatcat 76]

Food meter is represented by a Can, Water meter is represented by a bottle.

What is the "piss" and "shit" meter going to be represented by?

I just doodled this up in Paint. The piss meter will fill up yellow based on the piss level and the shit meter will fill up brown based on the shit level

http://puu.sh/3v0WD.png

[SoWeMeetAgain 100]

haha this was a funny read! thank you

in all seriousness the timer +1/10min to piss is big, i don't need to piss once every hour unless i drank much... so maybe take out the timer thing entirely or make it very slow, only drinking/eating should increase the meters significantly

[GBTP 114]

This is... Real?

[Korsbaek 1778]

I just doodled this up in Paint. The piss meter will fill up yellow based on the piss level and the shit meter will fill up brown based on the shit level

http://puu.sh/3v0WD.png

Awesome drawing right there. You sir, are very talented. You could make a living out of drawing and selling MS Paint pics

[sausagekingofchicago 4711]

Interesting. So what's your game called? I bet people will line up to play it.

[FearTheBoss 3]

^{Pee in empty bottle .... throw at bandit ....... Profit ?}

[Walking Wounded 199]

This is a game played by you and your chums each saturday night in your bedroom.

[BwobBwub 660]

Does DayZ need this much immersion.

[sausagekingofchicago 4711]

This is a game played by you and your chums each saturday night in your bedroom.

No, we call that 'Soggy Survivor'. Oh, that wasn't directed at me. Forget I said anything.

[Rarabka 165]

I always love immersion in games, but this is taking it a little bit too far.

[GBTP 114]

Does DayZ need this much immersion.

I don't feel that this complex of a system for waste is necessary to make the experience more, and might make for an unpleasant and cumbersome addition. For people that are set on having something like this perhaps something more pared down and simplified, a single meter that fills up slowly over time at a steady rate if your character isn't starved or dehydrated and a single function for the character relieving themselves.

[barrett_killz 229]

That's where toilet paper comes in handy.

[Florx 1326]

Toilet simulator? OP you should be a game designer!

Serious some part sounds nice but eat shit?