Jump to content
DanielTy88

Your Best DayZ Jokes?

Recommended Posts

Mark:Man, it's hard to land this thing

Mark was killed

Bandit:*Knock knock*

Survivor:Who's there?

B:A friendly survivor

S:*Alt-F4*

Sniper:Hey, can U pick me up with ur bus in balota?

Driver:Sure!

S:Stop so I can get in

D:OK!

*HALOSNIPERRIFLEBANG**HALOSNIPERRIFLEBANG**HALOSNIPERRIFLEBANG*

Way was killed

Too Trusting was killed

Survivor was killed

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Where is the safest spot to hide in a house from zombies in Cherno?

The living room.

That is priceless.lmfao

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

DayZ Map: Making you sound like a retard from day one.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

DayZ joke?

"Friendly in Cherno!"

Yeah! meet me at the hotel....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dayz: Where smoke grenades make up for artillery barrages.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A survivor from Balota is running through a forest, and meets a survivor from Gorka.

Balota Survivor: "Как вы думаете кто-то в твоей?"

Gorka Survivor: "Я не думаю так. Каждый знает, что американцы не могут прочитать русский язык"

Balota Survivor: "Это действительно так. Сделал я когда-либо говорю Вам, что Вы имеете красивые глаза?"

Gorka Survivor: "Да. Да Вы имеете."

Hahaha! Gets me everytime. I'm here all week, folks!

Balota Survivor: "Is somebody listening now"

Gorka Survivor: "I ​​don't think so. Everybody knows that the Americans can not read Russian"

Balota Survivor: " Yes, it's true. Did I ever tell you that you have beautiful eyes?"

Gorka Survivor: "Yes. Yes you have."

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

2 guys walk into a bar, I glitch through the wall and knock knock them unconscious with my mind.

Edited by Beanus

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It puts the lotion on it's skin or else it respawns again...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Man 1: "Where are you?"

Man 2: "I don't know, I'm swimming somewhere"

*Man 1 has left the game*

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Character setup complete

*LAG LAG LAG LAG LAG*

"Fuck!"

Repeat Again...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's over nine thousa...wait..no...it's negative...he was a bandit..

Edited by DanielTy88

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No one will find this campsite since it lies on a direct line between two-high traffic areas.

Edit: The WarZ was my original joke but I found it had since been done.

Edited by Erizid

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How many licks does it take to get to the bottom of a can of sardines?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How many licks does it take to get to the bottom of a can of sardines?

The same as the amount of bullets it took to kill the survivor you looted them from?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now

×