Funniest Hacker Ever - West Coast Private Hive

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So I was on a private hive with the wife the other night. We were scavenging around for about 45 minutes and came upon a field of vehicles by the factory in Cherno. Boats, on dry land. fully-repaired vehicles, fully-fueled. Definite hacker presence. We shuffle on past and continue looking for tools and supplies.

Then, the hacker started getting cute. He would teleport in by people and kill them. Sidechat was lit up with the typical "ermagerd hacker" cries. Then it was our turn. He teleported in behind us, and we ran. He started firing with a suppressed M4. Couldn't hit us. He emptied two mags trying. I started talking smack in sidechat about how he can't shoot. He got madder, teleported behind us again, same shuffle. After two attempts, he finally got us.

I gave him so much shit about it he tried to make us his personal bitches. I spawned, he teleported next to me. I'd run circles around him as he tried to kill me unsuccessfully, until he'd finally get me through sheer brute force of attempts. I'd spawn, he'd do it again. Some of the funnier moments:

* He spawned a 4x4 and tried to run me over with it, but missed me and drove it off the pier at Cherno.

* He tried to kill me with a Bizon. Given his poor marksmanship, this was HILARIOUS.

* He tried to kill me with grenades. He missed twice, and with his third killed himself. After this, he turned God Mode on.

* He tried unsuccessfully to kill me with a sniper rifle of some kind from about 100m. I was standing at the end of a pier (waiting for him), and just sidestepping before he'd shoot. He gave up and tossed a satchel charge on the pier to kill me.

I turned him into such a laughing stock in sidechat that others joined. Nobody was mad anymore about the hacker, we were all just laughing at him and making humorous speculations about his home life. People were announcing in sidechat when they respawned, and arguing over whose turn it was to be killed by him.

This went on for a good 90 minutes. I eventually had to quit out because I had work this morning and couldn't be up all night.

[Dunkaroos 12]

Everyone laugh at the bully! :D

It's nice when people realize it's just a game cause then the hackers dont win.

[codave 121]

Gotta love it when someone is bested... by their own ineptitude.

:)

[DemonGroover 8836]

This is the best approach to take. A group stance will eventually wear this tool down to the point where he may just leave from humiliation.

Hackers.............some people just need to get laid.

[Coral 2]

Best way to react!

[Steak and Potatoes 13480]

I also had a hilarious hacker experience two days ago at top damn four survivors and 1 new guy we were showing the ropes we obtained a uaz and were discussing where to go next as people were getting situated out of no where a tractor spawns going full speed at us running over my buddy peter the guy on direct chat yell's sorry i'm running late guys and hi jacks the uaz taking off down the road we open fire destroying the vehicle and he runs away with god mode yelling "i'm late i'm late gotta go." after the incident there were two people with broken bones a tractor and a destroyed uaz. Listening to our players who were injured just saying what the f*** was that and this mans chat as he did it made me laugh so hard i had to step away from the game for for a min to funny

[Kaffarov37 125]

This is a type of hacker form that i like

[RaysGoodLiquor 93]

I've noticed a lot of the hacker confession threads are from people that have less than 20 legit hours in game. I'm just assuming that a big chunk of the hackers/scripters are people with little to no experience of the game. I've been incredibly successful at avoiding teleport killers by sprinting and zig zagging. I've done so well at it that I've caused a few server nukes from the frustration I've caused scripters. It would be nice to play the game legit and undisturbed for more than a couple hours though.

[Derpy_Hooves (DayZ) 4521]

Our server is generally good for hackers, tonight our clan had about 7 hours with no problems, encountered one and he was banned pretty damn quickly, if you want some details on our server then just give me a pm

[aHzdaNny 49]

Every time someone magically appears next to me and can't aim accurately if their life depended on it, I know exactly what I'm dealing with. Laughing at them over direct communication makes it bearable. Sometimes even enjoyable.