Parachuting out of a boat - even hackers are jealous

[Angel Knight 427]

Until you have parachuted from a boat, you have not truly lived.

I was near Pobeda Dam with a friend of mine, having stumbled upon a massive encampment of tents chock full of basically everything in the game. There may not have been any scripting, but the tents were clearly duped; 8-9 tents with identical contents. Each one contained 2 AS50s, 2 L85s, 2 DMR, 2 NVGs, and 2 GPS, along with a metric ton of food, water, and ammunition. Having no vehicle at the time, we simply started trekking back and forth, ferrying enough ammunition and guns to replace the ones that were deleted by a previous server reset.

It was probably our third or fourth trip back to the tent city. I stopped to swap out my Alice pack for a coyote from one of the tents, when I hear several shots being fired. My buddy informs me that the owners have returned, and he is soon cut down in a hail of sniper bullets. He yells at me to steal their bicycle and get out of there.

Outnumbered and outgunned, I hop on their bicycle and start pedaling away. My pal is not so heartbroken about dying, knowing that we made off with far more loot than we started with. After I have cleared more than a kilometer, zigzagging through the trees, I stop to get my bearings. That's when they appeared right next to me and shot me point blank with AS50 TWS.

Skiddies... skiddies everywhere.

I respawned on the beach near Kamenka and began the long hike back to where we died, thinking it was over. Turns out, the skiddies weren't satisfied with merely killing us. They had some other fun times planned and teleported to beach inside a fishing boat. They came up to me and unloaded some verbal abuse, did you think you could escape, etc. and insisted that I do a vault dance for them. Being a fresh spawn, I had nothing to lose so I played along with them and followed their orders. Afterwards, they commanded me into the boat. My friend on TS warned me not to do it, that they would just leave me stranded far out in the ocean. I decided it was worth the risk.

Now, this is where it got interesting. After climbing into the boat, which is at least 100m from the water, the sound of an aircraft engine hums to life and the boat starts to move... straight up into the air. After gaining some altitude, they took off, instantly accelerating to over 2000 kph. The terrain was flying past so fast that literally could not distinguish one town from the next. We cross all of Chernarus in about 3 seconds, then over a large body of water, then over Chernarus again. I don't know if we passed some invisible wraparound area that sent us back, or if they were repeatedly teleporting back to other side of the map and crossing it again. All I know is that we appeared to circumvent the globe several times in the space of a minute.

After they got bored of circling the earth, they landed the boat and began shooting each other in the face with AS50s repeatedly. I was more concerned with figuring out where I was, because they might log out at any moment and then I'd be stranded in the woods. As I'm turning about to figure out where I am, I spy a road and move towards it. A moment later, the sound of bones snapping and the you are dead screen. I guess they got tired of messing with me.

I spawn in again, this time near Three Valleys. Immediately, the boat appears next to me and the pair of ghillies hops out again. Over com, one of them is laughing hysterically. Apparently, I had inadvertently walked between them while they were unloading at each other and got blasted by an AS50.

Now the thought struck my mind = If I bail out of a flying boat, can I parachute safely down? I asked them to take us up again. At first they made some jokes about how there was a fee to fly the superboat, but when I told them my intentions, they started laughing and said no one had tried it before. We all piled back into the boat and took off. I asked them before I jumped, how high are we and how fast are we going? I could not see the ground under us. They told me we were about 4000 meters up, traveling about 2000 kph, which was apparently the top speed for this boat.

One last conversation in direct chat. "If I don't make it, tell my men it's been an honor serving with them."

I scrolled the mouse wheel over to "Eject" and clicked it.

There was no parachute.

Strangely enough, there was also no fall. The moment I left the boat, I was instantly on the ground, buried face first into a tree, unconscious, bones broken, in shock, and bleeding out with my vision blurred and gray. I had just dropped almost a mile from the sky traveling at insane speeds, and somehow lived.

There was about a ten second delay before the boat appeared next to me and the two guys were standing over me laughing. Then one of them said something about, "Hey, I don't hear any flies."

"Oh my god... he's alive!"

After a few seconds wait, I was patched up, blood bagged, the works. They were staring at me now, and the conversation was legendary.

"How the ****did you survive that?!"

"Are you even human bro? What is your body made of?"

I told them I didn't see much. I just exited the boat and was immediately a pile of mush wrapped around a tree. Eventually, they said they were afraid of me and leaving the server because I'm clearly a deity, not a man. I jokingly told them I would let them off with a warning if they dropped me back by my body from our first encounter. One last flight in the boat and I was back at my corpse before the two of them vanished.

[EDIT - Removed the video because people didn't get the joke.]

To any and all DayZ vets, skiddies, hackers, bandits, etc:

I just reentered orbit from a boat. Come at me bros.

Edited September 18, 2012 by Angel Knight

[xenomta 128]

Sounds hilarious. Why is there a halo video? Confused..

[A_zombie 0]

I..I don't have enough beans to give you!

[jukaga 271]

Post the correct video, i want to see this...

[kryvian 123]

troll thread, yet 2 people bought it.

/o\

[Sarevok (DayZ) 10]

Not sure if troll thread, incorrect video.... You will not be receiving my beans until we get some proper evidence.

[A_zombie 0]

troll thread, yet 2 people bought it.

/o\

Nah I play with him all the time and this is something he WOULD do.

[Hetstaine 10852]

What ..get hacked by superboats or post Halo vids ?

[Fraggle (DayZ) 15720]

When I want to parachute from a boat I play Just Cause 2.

[Kilroy-Borealis 3]

Its the makarov / chopper shootdown thread all over again.

[Angel Knight 427]

1. No, this is not a troll thread.

2. Yes, the events occurred exactly as I wrote them.

3. No, I do not record my gameplay.

4. Yes, I posted a Halo video where Master Chief jumps out of his ship and crashes down from orbit because it is so similar to what happened to me in DayZ.

5. No, I don't care if you demand proof or not. I record these events for everyone's entertainment; if you are not entertained by my writing, go to youtube where you won't have to do any reading.

6. Yes, this story and most of the other 7-8 that I've posted can be verified by the folks I play with. (except for my shootout with the medic, I was playing alone that night)

EDIT - I removed the video from the first post because people weren't getting the joke. The clip I had there before was this:

Edited September 18, 2012 by Angel Knight

[Littleassassin2 73]

Rofl, Master Chief fell 2km with the most advanced suit of armor in the universe and barely survived. He was also a super soldier. You were a mere man wearing nothing but a backpack and the clothes on your back, fell 4km, and barely survived lol. Congrats, you're more of a bad ass than master chief

[Faceman Peck 93]

Your wall of text critted me for 12k

[boneboys 7988]

You are Legend.

Nice story.

[Angel Knight 427]

Your wall of text critted me for 12k

Well played sir.

[sharpshooter221 6]

I do not have enough beans to give for this heroic tale of badassery.