My compliments to Dr Wasteland and the TMW, and a request

[- Valkyrie - 89]

LMAO. this is funniest thing ive read all day. i hope you realize that dr wasteland was joking, and two know one named medic is in TMW so why would you assume so?

Is your post a reply to mine or what? Your English is horrible sorry I don't get a damn thing of what you say.

[Dr Wasteland MD 597]

I guess I just have to come out and say this:

This thread is a big joke. No one is being serious here, the entire thing is one big, long, and hopefully funny joke.

Please do not get offended. TMW is in no way offended or angry. We are simply being funny on the internet.

[- Valkyrie - 89]

No TMW members are to shoot on sight

You are wrong.

Edited September 16, 2012 by - Valkyrie -

[ketchup 9]

You are wrong.

That's why I said 'AFAIK'.

[Insaniac (DayZ) 235]

The hell did I just read?...

[orange_85 10]

---Classified--- TOP SECRET - level 1

TMW internal communications

This document is confidential, classified top secret. If you are not part of the secret operations of TMW please destroy this letter and don't even read it.

To the Mighty Fabulous Dr. Wasteland:

"me thinks the elektro roof thing is TRAP! very carefully my boss! we love you very very much don't go in elektro roof! its TRAP! We everybody in secret council think is very dangerous!

over"

-----

Security Chief orange_85 - Intelligence Department - Secret Operations"

[mini g 33]

We are simply being funny on the internet.

Is that allowed?

[Fraggle (DayZ) 15720]

I love administering medication.

[Muncywolverine 236]

Awesome thread

[Angel Knight 427]

Valued Customer,

We are pleased to accept your heartfelt apology for ruthlessly murdering one of our dedicated medical professionals in cold blood and with extreme prejudice. Furthermore, we are glad that you have seen the light and wish to return our rightful property to the TMW. We take issue with your proposed procedure for returning our property to us, however, and we humbly put forward an alternative method for the return of said equipment. Understanding that your time is valuable (I hope Dr. Wasteland, or as we call him around the office "the Tyrant," doesn't see this, but he actually could not stop laughing when he heard this - I'm not kidding, it's been hours and he's still cackling away in his office - we all fear for our lives), we would not inconvenience you by asking you to meet us in Elektro on the roof of the Fire Station.

Rather, the TMW would like to promise you that we will find you on our own and heal you relentlessly until we are prepared to recover our property. Our dedicated medical research professionals have even devised a revolutionary surgical tool to use to heal you. They call it the M136 Group Healing Device - think, more medicine for more people with only one massive dosage. Currently, we have several medical professionals scouring your server using the M136 GHD (the M stands for Medicine). Please stand still in an open area so that your medicine can be administered as quickly and effectively as possible, with as little damage, er, healing applied to the surrounding area as possible. We welcome you to bring your friends if they find themselves in need of medical attention, we will heal as many people as we can.

Thank you for working with us in these trying times. As always, we strive to heal all those bastards out there who we don't see eye to eye with. Standby for your medicine!

Dr Wasteland,

After discussing the situation with my staff, we have agreed to your proposal. However, we will hold off on the procedure until ragdoll physics have been introduced.

Our preemptive condolences to your soon to be widow,

-Dr. Wasteland

Mrs. Wasteland will appreciate your thoughtfulness, as she will be heartbroken.

For a combustable Chernarus,

- Angel Knight

--------------------------------------------------------

As Doc already pointed out, this thread was made in jest. Not sure why so many people are taking it seriously, but w/e.

[Nurse Kobra 25]

Hilarious. You (both) made my day.