Bandit Diaires CANCELLED

[the horror 262]

I have never killed another player in DayZ. Though at times it's been tempting after getting spawn killed and double crossed numerous times, I have resisted the urge.

It is true how much an effect DayZ has on the psych. I remember I was stuck at NWA with broken legs and was unable to access my PC for a few days. For those few days I literally could not sleep, it was genuinely stressing me out!

I applaud you for your decision Rhino and I look forward to your new vids.

[Studio Tiberius 4]

"Is it better to be born good, or to overcome ones inner evil?"

Big fan, glad to see the change. You picked the right team.

[Bludy 324]

this will be really nice on video...hard situations and maybe some betrayal!

[Blackflip 0]

Haha, sad to see the videos go. I found them quite entertaining, ahwell. Good luck with your heroic endeavours.

[atombrain 9]

I give it a month before he's back to his evil ways. Being a bandit is just easier. There's no tension when you are are sitting on a hill 600m+ away in a ghillie suit sniping dudes. Now that he will have to get close to people and talk to them and have a real risk being killed. Too hard for him.

Regardless, we need bandits in the game even if the combat is snipe + alt-f4. The zombies are only just a nuisance.

[The Aquatic Land Walrus 565]

So your conscience has finally caught upto you?

One more hero, one less bandit.

It will be interesting to see if this starts happening to other bandits. I fear not though.

I'm a hero on the public hive, and i like it. But i do have a character on the private hive that is a bandit for when i get sick of doing good deeds.

To be honest i can see the attraction in being both nice and nasty. I haven't decided which "path" i will chose for standalone though :)

This is my first "Heroic" action:

I just found a tent. I stuffed it with basic gear, food, what have you. Now i will plant it on the coast for newbies to enjoy.

[The Aquatic Land Walrus 565]

YOU BASTARDS YOU DID THIS TO HIM, YOU TOOK HIM FROM THE DARKNESS.

The darkness is gonna come and kill you all

CRY MOAR BIIIIIITCH!

I WILL BEAT THE DARKNESS! WITH MY FLASHLIGHT!

[GeordieMarv 293]

Looking forward to watching your new "Hero diaries" Rhino! :)

[datguy (DayZ) 157]

Hi Rhino, long time watcher, first time commenter.

Your epiphany was as inevitable as it was futile. Day Z won't change because you have. But, I applaud your change of heart. Here's to behaving humanely and ethically, not because you have to, but because it's who you realised you really are.

I think because there are no rules, and there is no endgame, what Rocket says is more true than many people will admit. You yourself define your conduct in this mod. You come up with your own reasons to act the way you do. You act out the scenarios you want to act out. You justify things in way you personally accept. The kind of emotional and intellectual schism you've experienced has changed you as a person. The game hasn't changed shit, but you've changed because of how you played it.

The heavy emphasis on reality in this mod is in part due to it being based on one of the best military sim franchises in the gaming industry. But it also owes much of it's realism to the freedom it gives players. There's no reason to act in any particular way. All you need to survive is matches a hatchet a knife and a canteen, everything else is a non essential item. It's truly a sandbox, and you make the sandcastles or kick down the ones others build. You're free to be whoever you want to be. That number again, whoever YOU WANT to be.

Most people are essentially pretty dumb. They don't think much nor deeply. They're about as introspective and enlightened as One Direction fans. You on the other hand, have had yourself something of an epiphany, a profound moment of reflection and realisation about the nature of yourself. Helped along of course by the screaming protests of your subconscious. I'm willing to bet, the most terrifying thing about the dreams you had wasn't the physical horror or any sense of being out of control, but a deep and disturbing sense of guilt, with extreme and probably quite frightening feelings of remorse and fear of repurcussions, real feelings that persisted for at least a few minutes after you woke, about your actions in your dreams. It's not the nightmare that got you, it was waking up and having to deal with the feelings. No, I'm not a mind reader, I just know a thing or two about PTSD. Now, when most people's psyche speaks to them in that way, they repress or redirect the trauma, making it about something else, absolving themselves without facing the real reason for the feelings of guilt. You've had the uncommon good sense to be able to deconstruct the experience, decided what you don't like about it, and changed at the only level that matters, at a personal level. For that I commend you.

But, fellow traveler on the long, lonely road to redemption, human decency and a clear conscience, I tell you this. Don't expect the world to change because you did. Don't expect to not run into doppelgangers of your past self. Don't expect that any of this in any way matters, except on the only level that matters, the personal level. Some people, on a personal level, are totally okay with being murderous fucking assholes. That's something about this game otherwise sheltered people are learning, the world is not full of nice people. I don't mean, there's terrorists in far flung countries who would drink your blood if they weren't so far away, I mean your best mate might fuck your wife or girlfriend tomorrow because he doesn't give a fuck about morality or your feelings. Someone you work with would take money from your wallet if you ever left it in the lunch room. Any one of a dozen people you walk past in the next two hours could be suffering emotionally for some reason, driven beyond reason and you might become the target of an enraged, senseless, violent attack.

The world is a dark and horrible place, filled with ill mannered monsters whose scales and claws are covered by thinnest veneers of human skin. Within us all is a voice that tames the beast, but not all of us listen or heed it's words, for it speaks softly to us, in our sleep, while the monster roars while our blood is hottest and our mind it's wildest.

But what I see you've learned is perhaps the most important and highest ethical truth, at the end of the day, you're either able to lay your own head down on a pillow to get a good night's sleep, or you're plagued by nightmares. It's your head, it's your pillow. If you want to torture yourself every night for the rest of your life, be an asshole. You won't be alone. But if you want to wake in the morning without the guilt, to start every new day fresh and clean, then it's up to you to live up to your own standards. When you die, absolutely nobody is going to give a fuck. But while you live, at least you'll be a force for good in the world. And you won't be alone in that, either.

Edited September 3, 2012 by datguy

[mdmonnik@deakin.edu.au 139]

I am suscribed for a long time even before DayZ, and love your work man :) Glad you're stopping the bandity ahah, I have yet to kill someone one dayZ

[soulessfaith 4]

how...interesting but rhino just because you choose to walk in the light, a darkness will always reside inside of you no matter how far you step into the light :)

[dutch_miller 159]

There's a difference between roleplaying as a ruthless sociopath in a game(and on the forums of said game), and letting it affect my real life...It's not like I walk around my college campus murdering people for their food and belongings... and I gave you beans because you're simple-minded, and that's cute.

Maybe not. But I know that the reason you play the way you play is because that's how you think you would react in a situation like DayZ. Isn't that bringing part of your subconscious out? The part that makes you go a little (or a lot) crazy and is the desire to survive?

[Littleassassin2 73]

[Gooner205 10]

You really think that YOU can just remove the evil part of your soul and turn it into good. You can run from the darkness but you can't hide forever. One day its going to creep up on you and you will be nothing but its puppet.

[narsil1 24]

Nice.

And if you could please get rid of that retarded "rhinocrunch" in the "hi guys, RhinoCrunch here" at the start of every video, that would be great, and you could get even more subs ;)

Sounds like you're on your dying breath with a bad case of constipation.

It's retarded and childish.

Disgusting really.

Edited September 3, 2012 by narsil

[rhinocrunch 471]

Hi Rhino, long time watcher, first time commenter.

Your epiphany was as inevitable as it was futile. Day Z won't change because you have. But, I applaud your change of heart. Here's to behaving humanely and ethically, not because you have to, but because it's who you realised you really are.

I think because there are no rules, and there is no endgame, what Rocket says is more true than many people will admit. You yourself define your conduct in this mod. You come up with your own reasons to act the way you do. You act out the scenarios you want to act out. You justify things in way you personally accept. The kind of emotional and intellectual schism you've experienced has changed you as a person. The game hasn't changed shit, but you've changed because of how you played it.

The heavy emphasis on reality in this mod is in part due to it being based on one of the best military sim franchises in the gaming industry. But it also owes much of it's realism to the freedom it gives players. There's no reason to act in any particular way. All you need to survive is matches a hatchet a knife and a canteen, everything else is a non essential item. It's truly a sandbox, and you make the sandcastles or kick down the ones others build. You're free to be whoever you want to be. That number again, whoever YOU WANT to be.

Most people are essentially pretty dumb. They don't think much nor deeply. They're about as introspective and enlightened as One Direction fans. You on the other hand, have had yourself something of an epiphany, a profound moment of reflection and realisation about the nature of yourself. Helped along of course by the screaming protests of your subconscious. I'm willing to bet, the most terrifying thing about the dreams you had wasn't the physical horror or any sense of being out of control, but a deep and disturbing sense of guilt, with extreme and probably quite frightening feelings of remorse and fear of repurcussions, real feelings that persisted for at least a few minutes after you woke, about your actions in your dreams. It's not the nightmare that got you, it was waking up and having to deal with the feelings. No, I'm not a mind reader, I just know a thing or two about PTSD. Now, when most people's psyche speaks to them in that way, they repress or redirect the trauma, making it about something else, absolving themselves without facing the real reason for the feelings of guilt. You've had the uncommon good sense to be able to deconstruct the experience, decided what you don't like about it, and changed at the only level that matters, at a personal level. For that I commend you.

But, fellow traveler on the long, lonely road to redemption, human decency and a clear conscience, I tell you this. Don't expect the world to change because you did. Don't expect to not run into doppelgangers of your past self. Don't expect that any of this in any way matters, except on the only level that matters, the personal level. Some people, on a personal level, are totally okay with being murderous fucking assholes. That's something about this game otherwise sheltered people are learning, the world is not full of nice people. I don't mean, there's terrorists in far flung countries who would drink your blood if they weren't so far away, I mean your best mate might fuck your wife or girlfriend tomorrow because he doesn't give a fuck about morality or your feelings. Someone you work with would take money from your wallet if you ever left it in the lunch room. Any one of a dozen people you walk past in the next two hours could be suffering emotionally for some reason, driven beyond reason and you might become the target of an enraged, senseless, violent attack.

The world is a dark and horrible place, filled with ill mannered monsters whose scales and claws are covered by thinnest veneers of human skin. Within us all is a voice that tames the beast, but not all of us listen or heed it's words, for it speaks softly to us, in our sleep, while the monster roars while our blood is hottest and our mind it's wildest.

But what I see you've learned is perhaps the most important and highest ethical truth, at the end of the day, you're either able to lay your own head down on a pillow to get a good night's sleep, or you're plagued by nightmares. It's your head, it's your pillow. If you want to torture yourself every night for the rest of your life, be an asshole. You won't be alone. But if you want to wake in the morning without the guilt, to start every new day fresh and clean, then it's up to you to live up to your own standards. When you die, absolutely nobody is going to give a fuck. But while you live, at least you'll be a force for good in the world. And you won't be alone in that, either.

I completely agree. It's kind of disturbing actually to see how people play, if you really step back and look at it. Yeah, its just a video game but like Angel said, it does really reflect us.

It is incredible that this game is having such a huge psychological effect though.

When I think about it, I don't think I have ever truly felt guilty for something I have done to someone in a video game before DayZ. Except for the time I dropped a Nuke in Megaton in Fallout 3.

[Edward b 83]

I'm calling bull shit on your story. I think you exaggerated a bit too much, OP.

[Peter1234 1]

I completely agree. It's kind of disturbing actually to see how people play, if you really step back and look at it. Yeah, its just a video game but like Angel said, it does really reflect us.

It is incredible that this game is having such a huge psychological effect though.

When I think about it, I don't think I have ever truly felt guilty for something I have done to someone in a video game before DayZ. Except for the time I dropped a Nuke in Megaton in Fallout 3.

The whole game might reflect us but like you said in bandit diaries you can't trust anyone. Helping a fellow human might get you further in the short term and I really do emphasize the might in this game. It being a sandbox game and you make of it whatever you want to a lot of people are going to do whatever the hell they want knowing little consequence will come to them, or very little consequence that they can see. If this situation were ever to arise where the world is quickly being engulfed by an infection where it turns our loved ones into raging flesh eating maniacs either our survival instincts will kick in or we'll be eaten due to being too shocked. There will be people that will huddle together and helping out other survivors that would soon get shot by a seemingly harmless individual. There will be people that will gladly shoot someone in the back to gain their supplies for their own survival. There will be raging lunatics running about murdering, raping, and pillaging. Then you'll have people that realize that men are more dangerous than the cannibalistic corpse's lurking about.

[marc.heidemann@gmail.com 20]

Love your Channel Dude, glad you have realised that this game has the potential to breed virtual pyschopaths. Look forward to future videos.

[FriendoftheWastes 4]

Something very profound has changed in me regarding my playstyle in DayZ. DayZ's creator Dean Hall was recently interviewed by IGN and said "I believe players play style reflect their subconscious". This isn't the first I have come to terms with the inhumanity I have performed in DayZ. More recently, I have these really vivid nightmares that I am murdering people in my dream, with an axe. I wake up terrified that I am wanted for murder somewhere and ashamed at who I am. At first I didn't consider these nightmares significant but when I considered what Dean said, it clicked. I am not a Bandit. I am a psychopathic murderer in DayZ and it is affecting my sub-concious. I do not kill for any reason at all other the sheer sadism. In my early Bandit Diaries, I hide under the guise of "this is how I play, this is not who I am" but au contraire mon cheri, how I play is who I am.

DayZ is quite possibly my favorite game of all time. It has brought my Youtube channel to a level of success I thought would take years to reach; however, I am ashamed at the monster I have become. So Bandit Diaries is done because it never really was a Bandit Diary anyway. It was the darkness of my soul reflected back at the hellish world of Zombies and survivors trying to make it by.

I turned city streets that were once places of commerce and life into terrifying war zones being over-watched with precise military killing machines from hundreds of meters away. I turned places for safe zones and rebuilding civilization into no mans land, ringing shots out from my rifle, killing helpless, innocent survivors, one bullet at a time for no reason at all. I chased groups of survivors that were unarmed and outnumbered with Hatchets murdering them as they screamed in terror. We used grenades, rockets, 50 caliber sniper rifles and satchel charges to destroy the enemy. But who was this enemy we had to kill so mercilessly? What was our war?

I am the enemy. I have turned into the worst type of survivor. In the chaos of a disaster situation of this scale, who I am in DayZ is the worse type of human, humanity could have to offer. Mercilessly murdering innocent, unarmed survivors with overwhelming force and firepower for no reason at all. This is the blackness of my soul. In all those things I have done in DayZ, I have never done the one thing that would make the world a better place if a real situation like this were to occur: helping someone in need and saving a life, instead of taking it. I must repay those who I have destroyed and let your survival be my burden. Let me serve you. I will bring you food. I will bring you water. I will guide you. I will guard you. I will teach you how to survive and send you away safe and secure.

So I am laying down my rifle against survivors. I am dedicating my cause in DayZ to rebuilding humanity instead of destroying it completely. I am setting an example for a generation and hope that you consider your motives in DayZ as well. I will help the weak and less fortunate. Call my name and I will be there. And if I help you and you turn on me, I will forgive you a thousand fold until you question your own motives and maybe help a stranger out yourself.

I rather die a hero than live long enough to see myself become a villain.

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[EliteSkittle 59]

Well Rhino. I hate to break it down into 2 simple questions but. Whats your humanity at? and how many blood transfusions till you have the hero skin?

[Wargunner 55]

Probably one of the most moving threads I've seen on this forum.

I believe the way you play this game reflects who you are.

People like to say 'oh its just a game it doesn't matter what I do'. But It's that attitude that reflects who you are. Just because you're anonymous you can do as you please?

The nature of the game (no real consequences for your actions) allows you to act how YOU want. It brings out your inner self. Some people like to be a medic and help people, some people like to snipe new spawns on the coast. I sure know which person I would rather know in real life.

The constraints of society and the consequences one might face keeps us from acting how we would like to out of the video game world, we must act accordingly. So we go with the flow.

I believe myself to be a nice guy in real life, and that is how I play the game majority of the time.

[Xt1nct10N 0]

I never dream of dayz D:

[weld 26]

"But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?”

― Aleksandr I. Solzhenitsyn

[n4ndoz 20]

The problems, buddy, are 2:

1- Players do not role play it. They usually give a shit to whatever you loose after being killed.

2- Its really easy to find gear, and I mean high grade gear.

I know this because part of my clan are bandits(I should qualify them more as psychos, or maniacs). And what they do? They camp hunt in the West and find a AS50 plenty of ammo, and go to Elektro. I am a neutral player. I raid camps, steal their stuff, and save the tents. Not because I hate them, or not because Im a robber irl, just because it is pretty easy to find camps, and most fo the camps I find are from dupers. =)

When I pass through a city, and have a player in sight, I do not treat him as enemy, I treat him as a possible hostile. A few days ago I was at Cherno, with my mate, we got Lee's and was planning a shootout(our camp got attacked, we was pissed off) when I spotted a survivor, gave him a warning shot(missed, obviously, otherwise it wont be a warning shot) my fellow gave him a real shot, broke his lag, he shouted "FRIENDLY!!" we both stoped and helped him. Of course, it isnt the best way to deal with a contact, but its a Mad Max world now, man.

Your post is awesome, and its good to see ppl are experiencing the game as it is meant to. It is a simulation, and you should sim. your behavior in such a situation, but most of the players, and I mean probably 50%+ will just left DayZ as soon as TWZ arrives, just because its is new. The real players, the ones who act as themselves, not as psycho monkeys, the ones who role play, will remain(at least I believe).

I was a bandit before, killed so many guys for their loots, but it wasnt sniping and deathmatching through cities. I asked them first, gave them a warning. They usually gave me a negative, I shooted them. Im not a robber in real life, but in the game I role played a bandit. Now Im back with my neutral days, with no shootout and helping whoever needs, but I do not put my gun in my head, if you know what I mean?

Playing this game means you roleplay a survivor with nothing but your life to loose. There are players who give a shit to any ones life, and there are players who care about how pissed off they will be if killed. I, personally, give a shit, but this does not means that I will shoot them in sight just to piss them off, or to steal something I can easily find.