Story of the Unexpected Limousine Service

[mark.j 3]

I had it all.

I had everything I could have possibly needed or wanted.

Except a vehicle.

I had been trying to find a vehicle on and off for a couple of weeks. Summer was ending, so I had less and less motivation to find one, because acquiring a car would just keep me coming back to play my favorite Running Simulator 2012, when I knew I wouldn't have the time for much longer. So it was time. Time to die.

But not without some fun. So I figured that, with all my ghillie suit, as50, m4 acog, gadgets and shiny things, it was time to enter Cherno and have some fun while dying. Now, I have had my small share of banditry, because let us be honest, once you get end-game loot, (or even just medium grade) the excitement of surviving just the zombies wanes. You want to survive the ultimate hunter; your fellow man. No game experience has ever given me the pure adrenaline rush than this one. But this time, unlike previous hunts, I felt resigned to my fate, and didn't care much for stealth.

So I ran towards Cherno through the northern open fields. Yea. Just like the Sniper's Manual tell tells you to.

It was mid day in Zombieland (can I say that without getting sued?) and there was no one about Cherno. Not until, that is, scanning with my rangefinder, I spotted a lonely zed 400m off. Naturally, given the distance, this could only mean one thing; show time.

Aaaaand it was gone. As soon as I looked back up, it despawned. Well shucks. Not to worry, I figure, one of the most populous cities is bound to have more players. So I circle around the city to look from a different angle, specifically the NE hill overlooking the building construction site. No zombles here, no zombles there, none anywhere! Well except the ones I had spawned around me.

I decided this was it. If I can't even find anyone to do me in, might as well head for the city and just aggro as many zombies as possible and take them dancing.

When suddenly.

There it was.

On the road near some trash stood a magnificent....beautiful...shimmering bright...UAZ. My heart melted. And just as quickly re-solidified. A car parked on the road in front of Cherno? It's a TRAP. But then again...there it was. Just sitting there, 200m out from where I crouched. The front wheels were good, the windshield intact. If there was ever a time to pinch a car it would be now. I came out to the coast to go out with a bang, why not drive out in style?

Abandoning all sensible precautions, I sprinted a 100m dash that would have made even Usain Bolt proud. I fully expected to be shot as I made the dash. But...

...the shot never came. I hop into the driver's position. All systems as green. Fuel is good. Gear has plenty of AK rounds, smoke grenades, and SVD mags. I could not believe that after all this time, I finally find a vehicle. To cut the story short, I drive around for almost an hour. Soaking it all in. Letting my hair out. I went up and down the coast looking for someone to give a lift to and share in my find.I finally make it to the west side and decide to fill up a jerry can in Kamenka.

As soon as I do, I see a crouched figure darting past a building. Unless the zeds have started wearing bandit scarfs, it had to be a player. I get into the uaz and tell him over DC to hop in. Clearly having just spawned, he is without pistol or crowbar, and figuring this stranger with the car is a better bet than the zombies chasing him, he obliges.

I ask him where to, he replies either Stary or NWAF, whichever works for me. Me, just being happy to finally give someone a lift, I get to driving. We have some small talk but eventually, after some wrong turns and scenic routes, we make it north to stary, and I drop him off. Well, more like accidentally drive into a barricade. I hop out and proceed to drop my stuff for him. I tell him I had been planning on leaving the game for sometime, and figured I'd rather see my stuff become useful again. After exchanging good lucks, he thanks me and heads off to the supermarket and beyond.

I realized I still had my pistol, so I ran through Stary and made some new friends. Took them dancing. Spun them around. Eventually fell and broke a leg. It was a great death. I hope Dell Inspiron has a blast with my gear, good luck to you, sir. And to the person(s) I took the vehicle from: Your car is safe and sound in Stary where I last saved it. Though it might be a bit red and orange...mostly red though.

TLDR: I found a car, drove around, picked up a guy in Kamenka and drove him to Stary where I gave him my stuff. Then I died killing zeds. This is a great game.

[l3dz3p 1]

Great story:)

[amaROenuZ 144]

Shame you're leavin the game. Sounds like a fun send off though.

[Richard_Turpin 1]

Never have I been so proud to give a man my beans (yes, I know how that sounds). Cool story, bro (seriously).