at Last.. A Noble Death.......

[big_t 66]

After much acrimony and griping over petty inconsequential deaths due to the hands of frivolous hackers and self hating script trolls, at long last I have a what seems like a normal and entertaining death. (the kind I used to partake in all on dayz the time)

My life started out on the shores of Kamyshovo. Traveling generally due south west I passed though the south side of elektro and managed to find a Lee Enfield and about 3 clips of ammo and other small provisions including medical, cola and a water bottle.

I continued toward cherno as I was hoping to stock up on some beans and such and continue.

After coming up empty at the church I decided to risk the super market and with a few zombies on my trail proceeded to brazenly barrel in though the front steps. Directly to my right there was a turban clad bandit pointing a pistol at me. I immediately fired at his torso and he slumped over in an almost disappointingly passive manner stone dead.

I continued to dash into the market as there were already zombies entering though the front steps and I didn't know if there was anyone else inside the building. I ran to the back looked left, nothing, then darted right, to the back cubby area behind the wall to gather my senses and hide from the zombies in the market.

About 3 seconds passed and I heard speedy human footsteps and raging zombies amble around the side area of the market and I could see movement thought the yellow loading bay doors. A couple shots rang out and I prepared myself for immediate human company by pointing the rifle barrel down the hall, to my dismay I saw a curious sauntering zombie shuffling straight towards me slowly but surely , I could still hear the action outside of running, yelling and zombies. I was certain the guy was going to burst in the back bay doors at any moment but the zombie was nearing me, closer , closer, shit, if I fired the gunman would know my position, I had to bail and opened the rear bay doors to run out, as soon as I did so, I heard the agonizing cries of a survivor/bandit, the kind they make when they get wrestled down and feasted on by a zombie, I look left quickly and see a turban clad gentleman on the ground spurting blood apparently dead with about 4 heavy metal zombies circled around him utilizing him as a makeshift mosh pit to take their frustrations out on.

I darted right, around the other side of the market to circle around and hopefully attain some loot from the recently deceased bandit. I came around, crouched and observed he did indeed posses an AKM. The zombies seemed less agitated with the now prostrate man and sulked around the corpse possibly reflecting on their own senseless acts of violence. I crept in closer hoping to stealthily loot the poor fellow right behind the zombies' backs.

To my shock and horror the fallen bandit rose up from unconsciousness in a ghastly bloody mess still showering blood and attempting to raise his weapon to my general direction (if not purposefully aiming at me then raising the rifle by the only means possible to stand up and gain purchase). Quite startled and almost as a result of reflex, I parked a solitary Lee Enfield round square into his chest sending him twirling into the restful and caring caress of the 72 virgins of the afterlife.

The rocker Zombies wailed in a frenzied chorus of jubilation and immediately directed their attention towards me. I was hoping to potentially snag that pretty little AKM and make a wild dash but the zombies were many and there was not much wiggle room in that cornered of part between the market and fence. I made a mad run due south west along the coastline to the outskirts of cherno with my gaggle of rocker zombies chasing after me like a gang of teenage groupies.

I could not find any food and after running around a bit and managing to loose the zombies that trailed from cherno, and the other zeds I had picked up along the way whilst running thought the outlying buildings. I realized I desperately required hard nourishment post haste. To run to baltoa was a risk as there may be no food there either. I decided it was necessary to indeed return to the cherno market and obtain some beans or pasta or good god even sardines would have sufficed at that point, I was truly that hungry. From the lone log cabin on the hill on the outskirts of town I laid down and tried to look into the market to see if anyone is there, I spotted some agro'ed running zombies the nearby houses but could not make out any humans.

Suddenly shots erupted and I could hear bullets wizzing by and zinging off the dirt right near me!! I failed to sight anyone but the attack seemed to be originating from the cherno direction. The report from the weapon was muted and minute so I deduced it may have come from a silenced assault rifle or possibly a normal rifle discharged from a lengthily distance. Either way it was semi auto and coming in fast. Immediately after I heard the first bullet ricochet, I broke off running inland as more bullets flew in my direction but luckily none hit their mark.

The mob of zombies I had dragged out to outskirts of town quickly rose to life and joy as they had finally come into visual contact with the object they had since lost but so sorely sought. The shooting and near missed bullet landings ceased as I made distance and I thought I may actually indeed escape the unseen and bewildering assault. This sense of relief lasted for all of about 1 second when suddenly I saw a lone survivor jogging (with some pep in his step) towards cherno directly parallel to my departing cherno about 60m inland across the open plain. He seemed to be sporting an akm or ak-74 of some sort. I figured in a half second that this spritely young lad was going to spot me or become aware of the long trail of spazmatic groupie zombies behind me and most likely engage upon me with that auto rifle.

Side note: all the atrocities, the degradation of honor and mutual respect for human life. All humanity seemed to be devoid and wisped away by a vile and treacherous wind leaving this formerly serene and pastoral eastern block landscape a baron wasteland of dread and incomprehensible desolation. Too much heartache, too many axe strokes to the back of the head, one too many double crosses and false friendliness masked in cheerful direct chat only to later sadly reveal the ill intent and true ugliness of self the serving evilness that underlies the basic survival instinct. No sir I was not going to risk calling out for help with hopes this kindred spirit could sympathize with my desperate position, later to become friends and crank open a can of beans around the fire regaling each other with war stores.

Well in a split second of soul searching contemplation that's how I justified it to my self anyway, because I stopped running and took aim with my Lee Enfield with the expressed intent to kill this unsuspecting rifle toting jogger.

The standing aim was wobbly from carido involved in the previous running, The first shot I targeted at his head and fired as he was running directly thought zenith of perfect perpendicularity from me. (in hind sight: not a wise choice of timing and angle) . I missed wide and the next half a second it took to reload the bullet into the chamber seemed like an eternity. From the first shot he knew something was wrong and looked to his right towards me. I fired a second shot and managed to miss somehow. good lord , now he was taking aim directly at me with his assault rifle I strafed left a little to offset his aim and buy a fraction of a second we both fired at the same time. I was truly delighted to see the bright blossom of scarlet explode from his chest, a direct hit at last !

My shot hitting it's target and my position and murderous intent blatantly revealed, I broke off running away from cherno while he commenced his counter attack on me…..

He held his trigger finger firmly depressed with a firm and steadfast resolution to see the full process of clip being full to it's inevitable state empty in it's entirety. I could imagine his teeth gritting and eyes shining in a blind rage as he drained the lead from his weapon. I ran as fast as possible in a parallel manner away from his position. His unreflecting audacity and wanton disregard for ammunition costs was somewhat chilling and his statement to me was clear.

Even though we never conversed throughout the melee, it seemed as though we had and unspoken question and answer discourse with each other:

My question to him though my actions previously stated: "Do you enjoy being pot shot at for no apparent reason?"

His answer as relayed though his immediate full clip emptying: "Fuck you very much sir"

His hail of bullets hit once, twice and then continued to spay up the landscape with no further effect as I would assume his reticule had been cast aloof from the steady influx of barrel vibrations and shoulder recoil , all the while I was keeping my stride and perceived a raging zombie or zombies at my heels. His two piercing shots drained my blood from 12000 to 3000 quickly and it appeared I had a sprained ankle although my running was still in full stride. a slight pause as he reloaded and about 5 or 6 more shots rang out but I did not get hit or hear ricochets.

I broke inland in a mad attempt to find shelter and an opportunity to find cover and bandage myself , blood now at 2500, vision devoid of color and blurring up with each blood pulse. I discerned what appeared to be a bush in the middle of the plain and before diving toward it I looked back at my adversary. To my astonishment and delight I saw my mob of zombie groupies all over the man and in an impressive number. The very menace which had dogged me form cherno was at last put to good use. I hit the deck and managed to bandage my self but a zombie was almost on me.

I glanced up on the scoreboard to see another bandit kill point for me! It was some warm consolation to help me though my presently uncomfortable situation. I leapt up a few more paces and dove back behind another shrub in prone position. The zombie seemed to loose track of me. I decided to give myself a morphine shot even though I was running normally, this was a mistake because I had to enter upon one knee to do so, thus exposing myself to the world. I administered the shot to no effect, crunched a Tylenol with no water to stop the shacking and blurred vision to no effect. Then suddenly I was dead.

The exact cause left to some refection and contemplation. I believe it must have been the silent shooter from cherno finally catching up to me, although I heard no report, body shot or sound of my skull exploding. I also have a nagging suspicion I might have ended the bandaging animation too early in order to avoid the zombie, and looking quickly at the blood level I may have mistakenly thought I was bandaged properly.

Edited August 23, 2012 by Big_T

[HamTheBacon 76]

To long but totally read, it was pretty cool but to many big words for some, but not me!

[svefngenglar 19]

Awesome story, anti climactic though!

[BRINBAG 28]

How long did it take you to type this and cool story

[RaeMong 9]

Undoubtedly the best written piece I have read on these forums. I think that your beans have been thoroughly earned. Absolute genius man, amazing read.

[Li1 GH0ST 7]

you into writing? this article was a really well written post.

[big_t 66]

Thanks guys!

This is my first story and it did take a fair bit longer than I had expected. I initially assumed it would be wrapped up in 3 short paragraphs considering the total time elapsed on the action sequences was only a matter of minutes. I'm not into writing but I do enjoy reading :)

[Tanners 0]

Brilliant read, top work pal.

[Stunt_M()nkey 26]

Well documented account of your adventures, I had a chuckle at this quote.

I parked a solitary Lee Enfield round square into his chest sending him twirling into the restful and caring caress of the 72 virgins of the afterlife.

You old chap can have my beans!

Edited August 23, 2012 by Stunt_M()nkey

[coleisman 15]

Verbose. (good story though.)

[callmesarge 79]

Eh, not well written IMO. Do not use long words for the sake of using long words. That story has way too many unnecessary words. If you were to remove every single adjective, it would be vastly improved. Clarity over complexity, every time. Making your sentences shorter would not hurt either. Is English your first language? If not, then it is bloody good, and I retract my comments.

I am not being critical to be a dick. You obviously care about your writing, and I hope you find this constructive critism of some use.

Take the following as an example.

His hail of bullets hit once, twice and then continued to spay up the landscape with no further effect as I would assume his reticule had been cast aloof from the steady influx of barrel vibrations and shoulder recoil , all the while I was keeping my stride and perceived a raging zombie or zombies at my heels. His two piercing shots drained my blood from 12000 to 3000 quickly and it appeared I had a sprained ankle although my running was still in full stride. a slight pause as he reloaded and about 5 or 6 more shots rang out but I did not get hit or hear ricochets.

I would write it more like this:

His hail of bullets hit me once, then twice. He continued to spay up the landscape to no further effect, he was shooting like a nutter and his barrel was probably sky high by now. All the while I was running my arse off, still being chased by a fuckload of zombies. His two hits had my blood down to 3000 and I had fucked my ankle up running. He reloaded and about 5 or 6 more shots rang out, but I did not get hit or hear ricochets.

Hope this helps,

Your friend

OSS

[Mos1ey 6301]

Verbose. (good story though.)

Verbose. (good story though.)

This.

I got bored about 1/3 of the way through because it read like it was written by a 14 year old trying to sound smart. Oh well, glad you had fun in game...

[big_t 66]

Eh, not well written IMO. Do not use long words for the sake of using long words. That story has way too many unnecessary words. If you were to remove every single adjective, it would be vastly improved. Clarity over complexity, every time. Making your sentences shorter would not hurt either. Is English your first language? If not, then it is bloody good, and I retract my comments.

I am not being critical to be a dick. You obviously care about your writing, and I hope you find this constructive critism of some use.

Take the following as an example.

I would write it more like this:

His hail of bullets hit me once, then twice. He continued to spay up the landscape to no further effect, he was shooting like a nutter and his barrel was probably sky high by now. All the while I was running my arse off, still being chased by a fuckload of zombies. His two hits had my blood down to 3000 and I had fucked my ankle up running. He reloaded and about 5 or 6 more shots rang out, but I did not get hit or hear ricochets.

Hope this helps,

Your friend

OSS

Well

I do appreciate the critique and your advise is duly noted. Perhaps I did leave too much attention to detail and jam in too many words/adjectives but I don't think your modifications do the story any more justice. From your revised example I think what you mean to say is: get to the point and add in many more swear words so the general public will be able to skim thought it more easily?

This point is extremely valid especially when describing an event on an internet forum but for this case I wanted to try a more methodical storytelling approach.

Still though, I respect your point.

Edited August 23, 2012 by Big_T

[62nd 30]

That was an awesome story. I ate 10000 bowls of bran then took a big one to get the same feeling of reading so much text! Ah man! I'm cleaned out.

[catface.jpg 75]

"After coming up empty at the church I decided to risk the super market and with a few zombies on my trail proceeded to brazenly barrel in though the front steps."

For me, this method is called "going to the market in Cherno"

I don't think I've ever snuck into that store. I usually run balls-out toward it and then deal with zombies inside.

But I die a lot.

[blackout14@live.com 51]

And so was the death of the bandit killer, hero of us all.

No but seriously, awesome read. Cant wait to hear more of your epic adventures!

[big_t 66]

"After coming up empty at the church I decided to risk the super market and with a few zombies on my trail proceeded to brazenly barrel in though the front steps."

For me, this method is called "going to the market in Cherno"

I don't think I've ever snuck into that store. I usually run balls-out toward it and then deal with zombies inside.

But I die a lot.

Yes that seems to be the only way to do, but I did find a nice spot form the outside of town that you can see directly into the main shopping area of that market. At least to see if there is anyone else in there. But then again, there is always the back storeroom to wonder about.

Side note about back storeroom in market: A while back in electro back sporting a double barrel shotgun, I charged in my usuall fashion to find the market almost complelety devoid of quality loot. I ran straight to the very back mini corner cubby as sometimes I have found a pistol or shotgun shells there.

This time I was surprised to stumble upon a survivor brandishing a pistol and looking skittish. Neither of us fired a shot and I thought it was assumed we were both two sorry schmucks trying to get by in the world. I continued to walk back down the hall hitting the " / " button to start a conversion and possibly team up, no sooner this little bastard sprung out and proceeded to fire a full clip into my back. Luckily he was a terrible shot and only hit once I think in the leg because I was just hardly bleeding. "You Ass" I though and "stood there and bled" pointing the shotgun at the corner waiting for him to come out again. I figured he might be embarrassed for his cowardly and pathetic assault and maybe try to make amends.

I actually did "lol" because this maniac, after wasting all his bullets, then pulled out an axe and began to charge me. I backed and strafed right, looking for a shot. He was swinging wildly and caught himself up in the fallen shelving units. I crouched behind one and fired up at him while he swung in a panick. I hit him in the torso and he did the beautiful blood twirling fall. As soon as he hit the ground the guy ALT F4'd himself out of there. Shhheeeehh

Edited August 24, 2012 by Big_T

[callmesarge 79]

Hey big T,

Yes, the swearing is how I would do it but is completely unnecessary, truth be told.

Your attention to detail is good, do not change that. But being succinct, and getting to the meat quickly is important, so try to do both.

Interesting thing; it is much harder to read text on a screen than it is on a printed page.

Final question: did you proof read it? Whenever you craft something for others to read, read it back. It is best if you can read it out loud in your head, see how it sounds.

Keep up the good work

OSS