We killed a hacker today (AAR inside)

[Pallidum 33]

DISCLAIMER: THE BELOW AFTER ACTION REPORT MAY HAVE BEEN SLIGHTLY EMBELISHED FOR PROSE AND MAY OR MAY NOT FULLY ACCURATELY PORTRAY THE EVENTS THAT ACTUALLY TRANSPIRED!

"Rusty Trombone, this is Chickenhawk 1."

"Chickenhawk 1, this is Rusty Trombone. Go ahead."

"Rusty Trombone, Chickenhawk 1 is taking fire from high calibre sniper rifle, location is office building at the docks of Cucumber Grizzly. Magic Postit reports shooter name is Adam."

Adam... oh, yes. That was the name of the duder that was spamming the chittersphere with requests for helo parts. Why would he be in Chernogorsk on the office building, shooting with a M107 if he was scavenging for helicopter parts. It didn't make sense... unless... this was one of those nefarious bandits that we've heard about. The evil ones that cowardly camp the roofs of tall buildings to shoot innocent survivors, totally unlike us who heroically camp the roofs of tall building to smite the unbelievers from afar.

This needed some immediate action.

"Chickenhawk 1, proceed to LZ Secret Hideout That Is Not The Factory North Of Solnichniy to pick up Team Gentlemen Who Are Not Homo," I called out to our helicopter.

So, our helicopter was coming to pick us up. I looked over at my men, Operatives Acneface, Bestiality, Madmin, Whiteflag and Whatsisname. Not the brightest bunch, but they'd have to do. Unfortunately.

I started conversing with this "Adam", slowly convincing him that I did, indeed have some helicopter parts and would be happy to help him out, and that I was running to get to where he was. The response was immediate, with Adam happily proceeding with his story, believing that he had caught another fly in his web. At the same time, Chickenhawk 1 was picking us up at LZ Secret Hideout That Is Not The Factory North Of Solnichniy.

As we were flying towards Chernogorsk, I kept up the chitter conversation with our friend Adam, happily stringing him along, knowing full well that he was busy doing the same to me.

It only took a few minutes for our helicopter to drop us off at LZ Definitely Not North Of Vysota, and we quickly split up into fireteams. Operative Bestiality was leading Fireteam Felching into sniping positions in Chernogorsk itself, while I was taking Fireteam Soggy Biscuit to the woods east of our target.

Operative Bestiality was the first to reach his assigned location and called out on the net;

"Rusty Trombone, this is Felching Actual. I see two tangos, repeat two tangos. Magic Postit indicates tangos are Adam and dkG."

Two of them? Well, that makes sense. Those two were actually conversing on the chittersphere.

"Copy that, Felching Actual. Proceed as planned."

Two targets would definitely not make things much harder, but that was also clear evidence that these two were definitely colluding to lure innocent bystanders to their deaths. I kept moving closer, stopping occasionally to keep up my faux conversation with the bandit Adam, when Operative Bestiality called in again.

"Rusty Trombone, this is Felching Actual. Tango two has M107... and a backpack."

Uh... what? That wasn't right. Everyone knows that the laws of physics make it impossible to carry an M107 AND a backpack. That must be wrong.

"Felching Actual, confirm observation," I called back.

"Rusty Trombone, tango two is confirmed to carry M107 and backpack."

Devil spawn! That must be it! They must be the spawn of the Unholy Infidel. This proves that we are doing the Almighty Saviours Glorious Deeds. The only ones that could possibly bend the laws of physics to such a way as to carry BOTH a large gun AND a backpack must clearly be colluding with the devil!

I swiftly moved Fireteam Soggy Biscuit into position, and ran forward, offering myself as a target, safe in the knowledge that Our Lord and Master Rocket was protecting me with his Holy Gaze.

I threw a holy flare in front of me as to better show my righteous glory, then shots rang out from the silence of the night. Like spears thrown from the heavens, the Holy 7.62mm Javelins of Divine Wrath struck down on the demonic spawn, immediately smiting one out of existance. The other devilborn fell, struck down from his perch, but vanished in a cloud of desecrated bile.

I stood up, my righteous fluids dripping down my soiled pants, victoriously pumping my 11 year old fist in the air. "TAKE THAT U NOOB CHEAT H4XX0RZ!!!11!1!", I called out in the holy tongue, safe in the knowledge that by our deeds, the Demon Lord would have two less servants dining at his table tonight.

Drippingly,

Report-Marshal Palli 'Rusty Trombone' Treponema

TL;DR: we killed two hackers, Adam and dkG.

[ihax 16]

the f*ck did i just read? hahaha

[splat! 0]

I haven't tried it but while you may not be able to have the M107 equipped along with a backpack, you might be able to stick the M107 in a backpack if it simply takes 10 slots like most primaries (you could make it 20 and it'd still work). Sure it'd be a pain to get out to use but depending on how it's handled it might be possible.

Also I read less than a quarter of your post.

[Iseeyou 2]

I don't even

[Pallidum 33]

I haven't tried it but while you may not be able to have the M107 equipped along with a backpack' date=' you might be able to stick the M107 in a backpack if it simply takes 10 slots like most primaries

[/quote']

That is correct. That's how it works in standard ARMA2, and it's how it works in DayZ.

You can drop your backpack on the ground while using the M107, but you cannot carry both a M107 and a backpack.

[BigMorgan (DayZ) 3]

M107_DZ allows you to wear a backpack and das ubergun.

That was a highly entertaining tale of valor, however.

[alchemy1002 5]

Me and my friends here are confused.

[Timberfox 2]

Lol, I lost it at "Felching Actual."

Don't forget; when mentioning Rocket's, peace be upon him, name, add "peace be upon him" afterwords. We wouldn't want to anger any of the religious fanatics.

[brightlight113@hotmail.com 0]

Love it :D

On a side note did he have a backpack equipped on his body when you went to loot ?

I have noticed that sometimes when spawning into game with an M107 a backpack is visually on my back whilst my inventory shows no backpack :-/ and then when dropping the M107 the illusionary backpack disappears once more :-/

VP