Bambo (DayZ) 42 Posted July 31, 2012 (edited) So I found this Mountain Dew in Elektro. I was quite happy to say the least, so I went to what I assumed was a safe location (the industrial district of Elektro) to admire my find (I know I know...I'm a freak). Night was setting in so I decided that it was probably a good idea to set up a perimeter around the tiny ass little industrial building that I was in. I was walking around the building when suddenly I hear footsteps. I can't see very far off in the distance due to the low level of light, but I could tell the individual was heading my direction. I guess he saw me first, because I suddenly hear "don't shoot! don't shoot! friendly! friendly!" on the chat. Right as he said this, I saw him. He was dead sprinting towards me. I couldn't tell if he was armed...but I don't take chances (read that last clause with a badass Duke Nukem voice). I set my M16 on burst and put three rounds in his chest. He went down. I noticed at this point that he was completely unarmed and completely harmless. He was bleeding profusely though so I bandaged him up. He regains consciousness about ten seconds later. "Dude...you broke my legs bro." I had some morphine, but I sure as shit wasn't going to use it on his ass...so I asked him what he wanted to do..."Shoot me. Please. Just fucking kill me." I switched my M16 to semi and fulfilled his wish to become another notch on my "murder" list. I actually felt kind of bad about doing that...but whatever...I digress.After killing that poor bastard, I decided I should probably move. I started to slink around Electro, looking for supplies. I rounded a corner and I witnessed an ax murder. I was quite hilarious really. Some poor scrub with an AKM and a ghillie suit was brutally hacked to death by some assclown bandit with an ax...right in the middle of the bloody street. I waited until the ax murderer had squatted down over the body before making my move. I shot her about eight times in the chest. Then I double tapped her face...ya know...just to make sure. I searched both of the corpses...none of them had much of anything that I would deem "valuable" (I prefer my M16 to the AKM...just saying). After thoroughly tea bagging the shit out of both bodies...I moved on...Night was almost there. The last bits of sunlight guided me to one of the large hills overlooking Elektro. I was about to sign off, but then I noticed some movement. Some asshat with an assault rifle was running through the outskirts of Elektro roughly 50-60 yards away. I put a couple rounds in him with my M16. He survived and retreated behind a building. I heard gun fire. I waited. Then the dumbass went right back out in my line of sight. I switched to burst and emptied half a magazine into his face and chest. He went down faster than an Ewok getting punched in the groin by Mike Tyson. I ran down the hill and searched his corpse. I found NVG's and a rangefinder. I was very happy indeed. I paid my respects by tea bagging his lifeless body. I then went around to the other side of the house. Another corpse was back there. I assumed the fellow I had just killed, killed this guy. Wrong place. Wrong time. Whatever. I looted his body too. He didn't have much.After killing that last fucker, my adrenaline rush prevented me from logging out. I once again began slinking around Elektro. Suddenly, I saw a flare light up a couple blocks away. Then I saw a flashlight reflecting off of several buildings. Clearly a scrub. I followed the flashlight the best I could, but then suddenly it went away. I got frustrated for a second, thinking I had lost my prey...but then I started to see a whole bunch of blue and red lights all over the nearby buildings...the dumbass had literally left me a "Hansel and Gretel" trail of chemlights to find him by. I followed the trail and I finally found him. It was some bloke with a ghillie suit on. He had surrounded himself with barbed wire and he had lit another blue chemlight around himself (I think he thought that that would help him see or something). I couldn't tell what weaponry he had...but I didn't really give a shit at this point. The chemlight he lit served him only one purpose: It made him a really fucking easy target. I emptied a whole magazine into his face. Needless to say, he was thoroughly dead as shit. I looted his corpse, tea bagged his face mercilessly, and then finally signed off. Twas a good day. Edited July 31, 2012 by scoopolard 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KField86 237 Posted July 31, 2012 (edited) Lol I love how you make your post sound like your some ultimate pro at this game. I'd kill you just as easily as I could kill someone who just started up the game for the first time. Good job making yourself seem like a total twatface though. It's one thing to brag about your story, it's another to sit there saying every person you saw was a "dumbass" or an idiot. It's simple. The reason you kill people in this game, and why anyone kills anyone in this game, is because you saw them first. That does not make you good, it does not make any one good. It makes them lucky, because being in the right place at the right time just happens to be the only way to ensure you survive.Like I'm honestly surprised you didn't "like" your own post & give yourself beans with that kind of attitude. Lmao. Edited July 31, 2012 by KField86 8 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LegitOldSchool 261 Posted July 31, 2012 Sure sounds like you like the sound of your own voice, Mr. Awesome. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Retawded 2 Posted July 31, 2012 i enjoyed this story fuck them haters be a ruthless cunt 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
redfield-77 315 Posted July 31, 2012 The part where you ran off and set up a perimeter to gaurd your mountain dew made me lol. I couldnt help but think of Gollum. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bambo (DayZ) 42 Posted July 31, 2012 Lol I love how you make your post sound like your some ultimate pro at this game. I'd kill you just as easily as I could kill someone who just started up the game for the first time. Good job making yourself seem like a total twatface though. It's one thing to brag about your story, it's another to sit there saying every person you saw was a "dumbass" or an idiot. It's simple. The reason you kill people in this game, and why anyone kills anyone in this game, is because you saw them first. That does not make you good, it does not make any one good. It makes them lucky, because being in the right place at the right time just happens to be the only way to ensure you survive.Like I'm honestly surprised you didn't "like" your own post & give yourself beans with that kind of attitude. Lmao.Jesus...I didn't know I was able to troll someone by posting a story lol. U mad bro? Yeah...u mad. And yes, I would give myself beans if I could hahaha.Sure sounds like you like the sound of your own voice, Mr. Awesome.No doubt. No doubt. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dazed 80 Posted August 1, 2012 This noob annoys me. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bambo (DayZ) 42 Posted August 1, 2012 Don't really know why all of you here are taking this so seriously lol. I wrote this in a cocky, asshole manner that I thought many of you would find humorous. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Traios 2 Posted August 1, 2012 Nice one, killing everyone. If I had a mountain dew I would kill anyone on site, they cant take my mountain dew, no one! NO ONE!!!!Sorry, I got a bit carried away with that. Good on you, thought if you do spend a lot of time tea bagging someone a sniper could shoot you in the face, so be careful. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KField86 237 Posted August 1, 2012 Jesus...I didn't know I was able to troll someone by posting a story lol. U mad bro? Yeah...u mad. And yes, I would give myself beans if I could hahaha.No doubt. No doubt.I actually laughed at your post quite a bit, so I'm alright but thanks for your concern chief ;) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Allyourbase51 38 Posted August 6, 2012 Well done. Does your M16 have an ACOG? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CoolCain10 55 Posted August 6, 2012 What a little noob, I'm a bit pissed of at you for killing many people that weren't harming you and you could of just prone and hid while they went past and that guy who was unarmed I hope he kills you because if he doesn't I will and you won't be able to see me. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
HeHeHe 38 Posted August 6, 2012 (edited) Don't really know why all of you here are taking this so seriously lol. I wrote this in a cocky, asshole manner that I thought many of you would find humorous.Leave anything fun to your friends, forums are filled with morale care bears who shove everything down your throat IE: shitty forum community.But i lol'd to say the least.EDIT: didnt read last paragraph, bursted out laughing at the "clearly a scrub" line. well whole paragraph...bookmark dis shit Edited August 6, 2012 by HeHeHe Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Professional N00b 347 Posted August 6, 2012 How is it that even when hunting deep inland I still haven't seen one single person with camo or ghille yet you saw at least two of them in Electro, of all places, doing the stupidest possible things?Curse my luck! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
zecele 211 Posted August 6, 2012 Mr Full of Himself Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
