Disagreeable Ramble Simulator

[drmccleod 19]

Day 2 of Dayz.

Predictions to the contrary, I didn't die weaponless at Green Mountain, instead I ran about 2 miles south-ish with 3 zombies at my heels. I finally shook them off by hopping over a fence. One tin of sardines later, I wandered along a wooded valley before spotting a town in the distance. Hiding in a bush, I went AFK for 20 mins to deal with domestic matters. When I returned I was dead. Bollocks.

Respawn. Followed coast road, saw petrol station, nowt worth having. Followed powerlines inland. Spotted farm. Found painkillers and bandage in outdoor toilet. Chased by monkey zombie. Ran away. Followed road to town. Crawled towards enormous shed. Spotted by zombie. Chased into guard house. Shut door. Found empty bottle. Zombies fucked off. Sneaked into huge shed. Found toolkit. Took. Found wheel. Left.

Headed out of town. Saw what looked like airstrip. Two zombies chasing. Ran away over wooded hill. Ended up back at petrol station again. Round in fucking circles. Trying luck along coast. Wooden building on dunes. Aha! Dead player inside. Vault over door entrance. Break leg. Now understand why dead player inside. Nowt useful in his backpack. No shooter. Crawl out. Fuck it. Off to city to find hospital. Crawl crawl crawl. Straight into zombie. Punched in head. Lose conciousness. Sneak away. Bandage self. 3K blood. Water nearly out. Praise be! Convenience store! Crawl towards it. FUUUUCCCKKKKKKK. Cannot crawl up steps to shop. Fizzy pop, morphine and shotguns just out of reach. Time for bed.

4 hours in-game. Shots fired 0, weapons found 0. Legs broken 1. Blood lost, several pints. Hence topic title.

[lugaru 103]

Cant wait till you log back in...

"Hey, you, the guy with the AKM... do you mind grabbing some change from my pocket and getting some stuff for me from the store? I could really use a soda..."

[MythCell 7]

Thats dayZ for you. For me its all about the luck of the draw, one minute I get super lucky and am bathing in food and weapons, the next i'm getting sniped by bandits or eaten by Jamie Hyneman.

[Teo (DayZ) 6]

Better luck next time :)

[Izithel 23]

To get up the stair you can stand up, try walking forward and it should put you a few steps up to the store.

Still, better luck next time.

[orb917@hotmail.com 117]

sometimes if you stand up and then try to move forward you can overcome being crippled and unable to cross thresholds into buildings. i don't think it always works, and i think it's even less likely with stairs, but it's worth a shot.

[Vellarain 73]

Pro tip: always have the map open and orient yourself by picking out landmarks.

DayZ Map: Home

Tip 2: That Airfield you blew past, that place is full of mid range gear... mostly assault rifles and other critical things.

[Elo 44]

You can still repeatedly press "V" to "walk", even with broken legs

[drmccleod 19]

Pro tip: always have the map open and orient yourself by picking out landmarks.

DayZ Map: Home

Tip 2: That Airfield you blew past, that place is full of mid range gear... mostly assault rifles and other critical things.

Yeah, the reason I blew past it was because of the zombies chasing me. Still figuring out their detection behaviour.

[Paeyvn 23]

Heh, sounds vaguely similar to my first experience playing. Random zombie swing broke my leg in Solnichniy where I spawned and I crawled about 3km before finally getting overwhelmed by zombies and killed as the only weapon I had was a CZ550 I found in a barn along the way...had to roll up the stairs sideways to get to it.

If you ever find yourself in a bind, there's a whitelisted medic group on here that you can ask for help that'll run out and patch you up, though they have terms and conditions (no high pvp areas, etc). Can always make a post and see if anyone would help too, gotta be skeptical but if you don't have any guns or anything to lose, why not? You might get someone who actually would.

If you're still in trouble atm, I'm bored and would be more than happy to come down and patch you up if you know where you are. I honestly don't mind high PvP areas like the coast either, getting shot at gets the blood pumping (hopefully still inside my body).

[Gogster (DayZ) 626]

Read post. Liked it a little.

[drmccleod 19]

Day 3.

Awoke to find myself barely alive in city by shop. Used vault trick to haul self up steps (Rocket bless you, Elo). No food, water or shooter in shop. ALICE pack though. Look like pro now. Expect increased respect from player who has just walked in door with shotgun. Offer cheery 'hello'. No reply. Perhaps he didn't see me laying here, unarmed with a broken leg. Try again. Reply via shotgun. But he must have been joking, since he missed my prone, stationary body three times. What a kidder! Oddly laggy gunfight ensues between him with shotgun and me with bad language. Eventually he settles his nerves and scores a hit. Enjoy your new chemlights you spaz-fingered cock-muncher.

Fact is, this is a UK server. Not a US server full of pubescent snaggle-toothed hillbillies dreaming of their shack in the woods and their armed stand against the gummint. A UK server. Full of British chaps. Chaps who you would hope would try a spot of fair play or at least get a large enough group together to form a cricket team before shooting random newcomers with crippling injuries. This is a bitter lesson. How we have fallen.

Next life. Wander along south coastal ridge. Spot tasty town in distance. Plenty zombie. Stealth time. Zombies all take off like troupe of nurses in Benny Hill. Looks like they are chasing another player. Aim text says Royston. Lets call him Royston Shitninja. Why is he getting larger? Why is he heading straight to me? Does he want help? No. He wants his fucking zombie train to eat me instead. Royston Shitninja pulls brown streak past me. I take off with couple of zombies on tail. Run through woods. Run over hill. Run into sea. Bingo. Quick swim later. Other side of town. Spot of ammo. Can of pop. Head to hills. Deer stand. M24 ammo. Woopde-fucking-doo. Country stroll. Farm. Outhouse. Crowbar. CROWBAR. CROWWWWWWBAAARRRRRRR. Best weapon in gaming history. Time to get all Gordon Freeman on your infected arses. Hide in woods. Stroke weapon. Nighty night.

[Dank (DayZ) 0]

Fact is, this is a UK server. Not a US server full of pubescent snaggle-toothed hillbillies dreaming of their shack in the woods and their armed stand against the gummint.

Was that really necessary? Fuck you, you British snaggle-toothed cunt.

Ive literally been killed just as many times in a UK server than an american one, your arguement is invalid.

Edited July 31, 2012 by Dank

[ben_c 140]

Enjoy your new chemlights you spaz-fingered cock-muncher.

Fact is, this is a UK server. Not a US server full of pubescent snaggle-toothed hillbillies dreaming of their shack in the woods and their armed stand against the gummint. A UK server. Full of British chaps. Chaps who you would hope would try a spot of fair play or at least get a large enough group together to form a cricket team before shooting random newcomers with crippling injuries. This is a bitter lesson. How we have fallen.

Made me laugh after a shitty 3 hour drive home for 3 weeks leave. Have some beans sir, 'spaz fingered cock muncher' is the best insult I have heard today. In fact, 'SFCM' may become a default answer to most forum post around here.

Who ever (eventually) shot you their obviously inaccurate and faulty weapon is now touching himself in special places whilst thinking of his 'leet hardcore PveeP skillz' or some other shit.

Good day, sir....I said good day!

[ben_c 140]

Was that really necessary? Fuck you, you British snaggle-toothed cunt.

Ive literally been killed just as many times in a UK server than an american one, your arguement is invalid.

High five (or some shit) on your first post there fella!

Obviously I fear some of the finer points on British humour (spelt correctly with a 'u' of course) have passed you by. Oh, how we love cultural differences.