Why you shouldn't trust guys with British accent and roll with Polish noobs instead

[Sarissofoi 40]

So after being alive for DayZ(or weeks) I died.

I curse you my own greed.

I will miss you my beloved FN FAL. I hope we will meet again.

But this things happen. I died.

And I start a new.

I wake up near the Balota washed by the sea. I don't know how I get here but this - strange yes - things look very familiar to me.

I remember location of the military camp guarded by four towers.

So I was sneaking my way through the infected and checking camp for some useful items.

Finding few empty cans wasn't that bad luck - I used them to distract infected who guarded the other towers.

Lucky I found a AKSu-74 with ammo and some other supplies. But I make mistake and attract some nearby hostiles - must remember that having weapons isn't always the best for you.

Wounded by multiple hits I run for Komarowo docks. There was nothing here unless you count multiple wires and empty cans. Tired I feel asleep(I dream about boiling water making tea and infected tearing my face when I was away from my body).

When I awake I was near Kamenka. How do I get here? I don't know. But I remember when I stash my items before I feel asleep.

So I run to Komarowo docks and on the way I hear that someone with clearly British accent shouting at me.

He was a experienced survivor(or so he claim) and we team up for a moment. I told him about my stash and he joke about us killing each other when one of us get the weapon first.

So we get to the bodies. I get the Aksu and he get the ax. And them decided to hack me into pieces.

He wasn't joking.

Oh god why?

I ask that question when I empty half clip into his body. He almost get me though(160 Blood remain). I plan to run from the cursed coast into the wood. But my luck ended when I passed out to near to some infected.

I wake again on the coast.

Not so far from place where I pass out. What a sorcery is this?

So I reclaim my good again and then I notice somebody hiding in the docks of Komarovo.

I move here with the some not so good intention.

I got close to the hiding guy and shout:

"Speak or die you bastard!"

He turn on - scared and he says:

"I speak I speak not die no!"

It was so hilarious that I spare his life. I run into the building when he go into the platform. Soon somebody else join him and they start speaking in polish. I was really in merry mood now.

So I get behind them and shout:

"Hande Hoch!"(which mean hands up in German and is phrase very well known in Poland).

They both panic and start saying:

"Omg German he is gonna kill us!"

"How is not shoot in German?"

"Nicht schießen" I told them.

They start repeating:

"Nicht schießen, nicht schießen."

It was hilarious. I cant resist to try more.

"Ruki wierch!"(which mean hands up in Russian).

And they where like:

"Niet strelajut"

I laugh so hard that almost died.

Then I reply in polish:

"Relax guys . Don't worry. I will guard you."

Then somebody start yelling for help from a small warehouse near platform. In polish of course.

"Some zombie trying to crush the door! Help me!"

So I cover his ass. How many crazy Poles you can find in one Komarovo docks?

Long story short.

I meet these three fresh Polish survivors. They were so green that they don't know how to move ax from Toolbelt to hands or open backpack.

We all joined TS and another one Pole guy(green like fresh grass) join us.

It was funny sight. One guy with AK leading four guys armed with 3 hatchets.

Almost like Benny Hill clip.

I just should take some pictures. On the side I was pretty sure that somebody from them will try to chop my head with a ax. It didn't happen. Quite opposite. They guard me using their bodies(and axes) from the zombies when I must go AFK for a moment.

So I lead them to Zelenogorsk market by Balota military Camp-> Balota Airfield->Bor deer stands.

When I left them they were all armed with AK(1AKM 1AKSU 2 AK74) not mention 1 Glock and 3 hatchets and water and food. They have also 2 maps and some medical supplies.

I give them some advice and general direction and we depart.

It feels good to help people.

So help new survivors and don't lose the faith into humanity.

But remember DON'T TRUST BRITS.

NEVER.

Unless you enjoy getting ax in your back.

[JimiFish 1]

hahah awesome story man, really hope they implant the "diary" idea I read about somewhere.

[Ivanuvo (DayZ) 117]

I find this highly discriminative, since you can't judge an entire people from ONE guy. I'm sure there are Polish bandits too.

[shiromikan 217]

Quite frankly the best DayZ account I've read in a long while.

[Bower 4]

Haha great story!

I find this highly discriminative' date=' since you can't judge an entire people from ONE guy. I'm sure there are Polish bandits too.

[/quote']

Don't be so lame. I'm British and found the story hilarious.

[DevilDog (DayZ) 455]

Ever watch Sacriel42 play this game on youtube? He is the reason I don't trust Brits lol. Not that he is an asswhole or anything but him and his mates kill EVERYONE, and they are so coordinated and good at it.

[Tex Willer 47]

Really good story, laughed really hard imaginating the polish encounter :D (no die, no die!! haha)

Thing is that it' mostly the humble folks who are willing to help out others, while those who live in "advanced" countries have the shoot-everything-that-moves type of mentality.

I could get even more discriminating, but i'll leave it here :D

[sinsprophecy 14]

i am a brit and i agree with the OP. never trust us we will stab you in the back and take your beans mwhahahahaha.

[FieldMedic 7]

As a member of the Commonwealth I fully trust our friends in the UK :D

[Xelacalle 0]

I'm British, and my only murder was with an axe, but it was a mercy really. Broken legs, no morphine and in a barn in the middle of nowhere... What was I to do?

Seriously though, we're not all bad. My goal is to get a car and taxi fresh spawns around. Yeah, I know I'll get myself killed... but it'll be fun!

Me and my friends tend to avoid survivors at the moment. We make a point of killing only if we feel threatened (which usually means one of us got shot.)

[Sarissofoi 40]

The story is more about noobs being friendly and more communicative and cooperative because they don't know how unfriendly DayZ is.

Or how DayZ work. So they don't DC in fight, try to talk their way instead of DC or shoot on sight etc.

On the other hand experienced players(especially with sounding like fake Brits accent) have tendencies to use shortcuts to get the best gear in the shortest of amount of time. Backstabbing is one of it. Also DC and using exploits.

So if you wanna get somebody to watch your back look for a noob. If he is at last decent human being he will be grateful for your help and advice and will not backstab you.

I can assure you that there is enough of polish bandits. I roll with one actually as his spotter.

I am just bored that I just decided to help people. Also I am really bad at sniping. No fun for me.

Human interaction is what it makes this walking simulator funny.

Gear come and go but good moments remain in your memory.