A story of a man named Uncle Mirek

[SpoonsandForks 78]

 (for my own entertainment, and possibly somebody elses.. long read)

 

Uncle Mirek was a simple man, born and raised in Chernarus, being an only child he had no idea as to why his parents named him Uncle, he guessed that they had bigger plans for the family than what had been realized, but on the other hand, what in Chernarus ever became as it was originally planned? Up in Severograd, the buildingsite for the brand new Amerimart was still in production, 26 years after it had started the yellow crane was still towering over the city, never moving, just sitting there. Bobak, an old friend of Uncle Mirek had worked there for the past 12 years, and had aparently never done anything more than to climb up in the morning, smoked a couple of packs of cigarettes, had his lunch, a can of spaghetti wich he always seemed to drop atleast half of while opening it, and finally climbing down in the afternoon.

Mirek was ofcourse jealous, but his job was interesting in itself, he was the first custodian of the Devils castle, one of the many historical landmarks scattered about the countryside. His job did however mostly consist of picking up clothing, for some reason the visitors always seemed to take their clothes off and leave them in the stairs and up the tower after they left. Mirek didn't question this as much, the view was inspiring, and if it inspired people to take their clothes off, who was he to question it, who was he to question anything?

But on this particular morning, October 11th, as usual, it was always October 11th. He woke up to the sound of a gate closing, a bit strange since the government-built house he had been given didn't have a proper gate in the fence. "best not to question it" he thought and sat up in bed, resting his feet on the cold floor with his legs in an akward angle, the bed stood no higher than 20 cm off the floor and was about 30 cm too short for his size, but it was the bed he was given, and as they always said, "we gave you your bed, so you'll sleep in it" and seeing as it was free, he couldn't complain. He got up with a slight groan and looked across his desk into the forest behind the house, it was raining again, that sort of constant downpour that chills you to the bone. he picked his damaged jeans off the floor and looked through the house for his jacket, it was behind neither of his two chairs, or in the half assembled closet in the upstairs office, as he went down the stairs and headed towards the kitchen he found it, nestled in a corner next to his headtorch and a morphine stick, the latter he had gotten in the mail a few days earlier, no letter or parcel, just the stick. It was strange, but no more than usual. He grabbed the jacket, the upper part of a dark blue tracksuit, apparently it was all the rage in Elektro, according to his cousin Igor, Mirek wasn't convinced.

He slogged into the kitchen and grabbed a can of baked beans off the top of the fridge, it was all he had home, so it would have to do. He was sure that he had a can opener in his pants the day before, but waking up his waterbottle had changed pockets, as had the handcuff keys he usually carried with him, and the can opener was nowhere to be seen. He shrugged and grabbed a steak knife off his computer table and started breaking into the can, he fumbled with the knife for a while and dropped some of it while opening the can, a quick estimation was that only 23 procent of the can was still left. "no five second rule" he muttered as the food was absorbed into the floor. As the government had seized all forms of cutlery, except for knives, a couple of days earlier in preparation for changing them out to new government standards, he ate the beans with his hands. 

After breakfast, still hungry, he left the house, slamming the door behind him and headed out to his truck. She was a beauty, bright blue with a bed in the back, incase somebody wanted to come for a ride, Mirek only ever let one person ride in the back, that could change in the future, but as for now, one was well enough. As he started it up and was as usual startled by the roar of the engine, the mechanic in Berezino had told him nothing was wrong with it, "a custom feature, to make sure everybody knows you are coming", but he had always felt it was a little too loud. after the driveway he carefully turned left, and headed through the unnamed village that was, apart from Old Man Ptr, his only neighbour. That is when he saw her, Samantha, despite the strange name, she was all Mirek could ever ask for in a lady, her blonde hair flowing in the wind, a becoming hobble. She was dressed in a skirt, with a blazer and a low cut top, it was a very popular look among the girls, but Samantha wore it the best. Mirek slowed down as he passed her, a lot of people died due to trucks in Chernarus every year, tried to wave at her, but he just couldn't, he turned his eyes back on the road as suddenly another truck seemed to appear out of nowhere, he tried to break, but it was too late. As they collided he immediately became unconcious and everything went black. Mirek played with the idea of just giving up and dying right there, but he decided to wait a while. as he opened his eyes Samantha was standing over him, an empty look in her eyes, she looked at him for a second and with a calm voice he heard her say "friendly?". And then it all went dark. The end.

Tl;dr. dayz references, and a future Z named Samantha.

Edited April 2, 2015 by SpoonsandForks

[WilliamTheConqueror 81]

Ok, this is hilarious.

[boneboys 7988]

:thumbsup:  :lol:  :beans:

[B4GEL 175]

When's the film adaptation coming out?

[SpoonsandForks 78]

When's the film adaptation coming out?

(imagine a really nasal voice for this)

we're doing a sort of.. you know... introspective art-nuveau thing, it's going to be amazing.

It's like all of you, everyone, is a part of the film, but afterwards. in a way, we could all be him.

we are all Uncle. 

[Calvin Candie 189]

My fav part is when the he roughl estimates the percentage of the food in the can xd