Post your best "how I outwitted those darn bandits" stories!

[archival 0]

Sick and tired of those annoying bandits killing you for everything you own? Still managing to cling on to giving up and shooting everyone you see?

Well post your best story on how you outsmarted or ouplayed one here so we can all have a good laugh!

OP content - "This group of about 6 guys were camping ontop of the cherno hospital killing anyone that went to get medical supplies, so I got my trusty CZ550, went to the top of the grain towers and killed every last one of them!"

Go nuts guys!

[Leechman 8]

Only ever been attacked by bandits once.

I outwitted them by dying to their bullets.

[oilman 72]

Moved to Survivor HQ: I think that's the correct spot for this. (Any other mod who disagrees is free to move it back to general. :))

More on topic: I once had a bandit tell me on side chat, "hey albert you fag i see you at the airfield, you're fuckin dead". At first I was shit scared. I'd just gotten myself an AK74 Kobra and I wasn't planning on losing it any time soon.

But, it turned out this bandit wasn't too smart, as he then asked, "where'd you go fag are you hiding?" So, I replied, "Yeah, I'm in the air control tower, come get me."

And as expected, he started walking towards the tower... completely blind to the fact that I was on the roof of the neighbouring station. I waited a while, just to toy with him, as I watched him explore the building, and then come out onto the top of the tower. As soon as I did, I told him: "I see you at the airfield. You're fucking dead." And sure enough, after a few rounds from my AK, he was.

There's nothing more satisfying than slaying some bandit scum.

[bayers 28]

Not all bandits are assholes. Im not a bandit by choice. We were once like you.

If you prick us, do we not bleed?

If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us,

do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?

If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that.

Just remember that we bandits are people too :P

[FreedomTea 9]

nope.jpg

bandits are scum

[griffinz 2816]

This is how 1 guy duped me...

[oilman 72]

Not all bandits are assholes. Im not a bandit by choice. We were once like you.

If you prick us' date=' do we not bleed?

If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us,

do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?

If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that.

Just remember that we bandits are people too :P

[/quote']

I know you guys are people, and so I don't complain when you kill me. Doesn't stop me loving every second when I kill you. ;)

Anyway, I'd like to point out that as this thread is in Survivor HQ, flaming anti-bandits is not allowed, in the same way that flaming bandits in the Bandit Campfire is not allowed.

[landstriker 9]

Our group where moving to raid a small town close to the south east coast. During our run in the forest, one guy mentioned our names in chat without stating his intentions other than "do you need a 4th?", (I'm guessing that he wanted to join us). What he didn't see was the rest of our 7 man group. After raiding the little town, we we continued onwards to "Solinichy" to save a friend that where just shot prior to our arrival and where taking cover underneath a bridge.

After saving our member, one of our guys noticed another player just west of our position. Needless to say, our group has learned not to trust outsiders (especially if they are pointing a gun our way) so shots were opened. It turned out it was the guy that were asking us in chat and had followed us for quite a while. I will give him credit that he had stayed unnoticed for that long. We felt a bit bad for the guy, though.

[MR DELICIOUS 297]

Here's a good way to outwit a bandit, or any player.

Find a really well traveled deer stand with a good amount of ammo (and if you're feeling extra mean you can do this to the Stary Sobor camp) next to its gun. Let's take an AKM with three mags next to it.

Pick it up and fire every single bullet but one from every mag, and then drop the gun and all the ammo.

Then, wait for a bandit to roll up to the deer stand, climb the ladder and pick up the gun and all the mags.

For this to work best, you need to have a really lame weapon, like a Winchester, and be about 100 meters from them.

Once they're all loaded up, let them climb down and watch them equip their new gun.

Then, fire a shot at them (I usually choose scatter rounds as it doesn't kill them, but it makes them bleed).

The bandit then lifts his new rifle to easily outmatch you - he pulls the trigger and BAM - reload!

The joy is then watching him fire a total of three rounds, not working out what the fuck is going on, until he eventually gives up and swaps to pistol, or tries to run away.

Then you knee cap him with your rifle and then drive around in your weird little Russian Cadillac to stir up all the zombies before you drive past him, covering him in half a maps worth of undesirables.

To make this especially effective, it's best to have the friend driving the car, and do it on a BETA server so you can direct chat stream Carly Ray Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe" as you do donuts around him while he's devoured by zombies.

A really nicely planned "what the fuck is going on?" moment for the whole family.

[monan101 2]

I was on the roof of the biggest block of apartments in Dubrovka, just waiting for daylight, when 2 players started shooting and throwing flares into the town, i stayed hidden and watched them to see what they would do.

I heard shooting in the supermarket below and across the street, so i crouched and got to the edge of the building. Saw 2 survivors in there scavenging supplies, one had an AK and the other a revolver, i readied my M14 just incase they saw me and got hostile.

As they moved off I exposed myself a bit too much, so they noticed me.

They raised me on the chat and I told them I was friendly and asked them if they were and they told me to surrender.

Being a cool guy and all I refused, I stayed prone on the roof covering the ladder hatch, knowing that if the wanted to get me they could only come up that way and made sure they knew that was their only option, well other than to leave without incident.

Just as i was thinking they had given up they started firing on my building with AK and some other weapons, but it was just a waste of ammo because i was covered by the lip of the roof.

I stayed there taunting them daring them to come up the ladders, must have laid prone for close to an hour, eventually they cut their losses and bolted out of town before disconnecting.

Just goes to show, good position > Idiots with AK's

[desrat 4]

My best story happened completely by accident.

Me and a friend were moving slowly just after dark towards one of the larger barns/cow shed using some abandoned cars as cover, and had noticed a number of Zed inside.

I prepped a whiskey bottle to throw to entice them towards the back of the building and allow us a quiet & safe entry, however unbeknown to us we were being stalked by a lone bandit, CZ in hand, who had been watching us from the backside of said building.

Just as I threw the bottle I caught sight of the bandit and luckily the bottle crashed close to his feet, now the Zeds had heard the smash and came running straight for him, he had no choice but to start popping them off, boom, boom.

At this point me and my friend we're laughing our asses off and decided to just turn tail and run, and leave him to his fate.

I think the bandit survived the ordeal but he didn't get his hand on any of our stuff.....not this time anyway.

[oktyabr 53]

Just last night I grouped with a bandit that I know and two others, a survivor and a bandit, that we'd never met before. We took a break on the edge of Cherno (in the dark) to eat, swap gear, get to know each other (DC was working!!!) do blood transfusions, etc. We got ambushed by at least three bandits leaving one of our party bandaged but bled out that had crawled under a bush a ways off. By group comms in Mumble he kept us up to date with status.

I respawned fairly close to the city and started running as fast as I could, Mak in hand, hoping to get back to where we were dropped before they could loot everything... This of course ended up being me leading a parade of a dozen zombies before long, all running down the coast line. As I got into Cherno I picked up at least a dozen more. I was nearing the area where we had been shot and saw that our attackers had just lit a flare. I took a couple of wild shots with my Mak, more to draw attention than to mean any damage, and then ran right through the middle of them! A couple tried to shoot at me but missed as I disappeared back in to the darkness... Lots of angry zeds cried out, no longer chasing me. A bit more gunfire but they weren't ready to take on a whole horde on open ground and soon it was quiet. It took awhile for things to calm down but we eventually got regrouped... with our gear once again safely in inventory ;)

[TillGrave (DayZ) 0]

[quote

Then you knee cap him with your rifle and then drive around in your weird little Russian Cadillac to stir up all the zombies before you drive past him, covering him in half a maps worth of undesirables.

You...you are an evil human being. I saw another post of yours regarding kneecapping people and following them to take out potential rescuers. That actually prompted me to sign up for these forums so I could let you know how disturbing and calculated I find your style. I hope to come across you in the field some day, and maybe help out a little...

BTW, I love your Anton avatar.

[Cedric (DayZ) 0]

Here's a good way to outwit a bandit, or any player.

Find a really well traveled deer stand with a good amount of ammo (and if you're feeling extra mean you can do this to the Stary Sobor camp) next to its gun. Let's take an AKM with three mags next to it.

Pick it up and fire every single bullet but one from every mag, and then drop the gun and all the ammo.

Then, wait for a bandit to roll up to the deer stand, climb the ladder and pick up the gun and all the mags.

For this to work best, you need to have a really lame weapon, like a Winchester, and be about 100 meters from them.

Once they're all loaded up, let them climb down and watch them equip their new gun.

Then, fire a shot at them (I usually choose scatter rounds as it doesn't kill them, but it makes them bleed).

The bandit then lifts his new rifle to easily outmatch you - he pulls the trigger and BAM - reload!

The joy is then watching him fire a total of three rounds, not working out what the fuck is going on, until he eventually gives up and swaps to pistol, or tries to run away.

Then you knee cap him with your rifle and then drive around in your weird little Russian Cadillac to stir up all the zombies before you drive past him, covering him in half a maps worth of undesirables.

To make this especially effective, it's best to have the friend driving the car, and do it on a BETA server so you can direct chat stream Carly Ray Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe" as you do donuts around him while he's devoured by zombies.

A really nicely planned "what the fuck is going on?" moment for the whole family.

You, Sir, are a gentleman and a scholar.

[Dylan(Pezix) 0]

Started out near elektro.. dropped most of my gear besides my mak.. ran into town firing at zeds.. Got killed by a bandit and died in the middle of the street.. he went to check my corpse and found nothing but a mak,.... Then got killed by a survivor... Hells yea

[archival 0]

Aha some good stories coming in, heres another one to flow things along that happened to me last night on a US server (im normal on AU servers but it was full and dark)

Spawned inside the control tower of the northern airfield so see someone right infront of me running down the stairs. (lucky for me the server was running 1st person only so he didnt see me prone)

I went down to see what he was doing and there he was with a friend, they shot at me the second I went down. running back up I saw them sitting under the stairs waiting for me to come down, so I slowely walked outside, down the back ladder, around to the fire station and sat watching what they did.

They still thought I was up there 10 minuites later when one of them had the bright idea of going outside and using the ladder, low and behold he found me right outside the door with 3 mags of ak-47 waiting for him.

I didnt bother with his friend, but he got what he deserved.

And now I have 1 humanity point :|

[thomasfeeney123@gmail.com 0]

He hid behind a tree. Tress are horrible cover because you can easily be shot and you can't move.

[br00talbastard 16]

Well, I've been turned into a bandit for various reasons, but I still dislike them because I know for myself at least, I don't randomly kill people. So here's a bandit hunting story.

I was playing DayZ, and my friend was watching because I was showing him the mod. I was walking towards Elektro along the treelines, sticking away from any easily seen area, making sure to keep an eye out on the long stretch of land to the coast below me. I scout out a goat along the way, but being void of a hunting knife, it's useless to me.

I move for about a minute longer and hear a gunshot. My friend says "Dude they probably killed that goat." As I get closer to the edge of the trees, sure enough, there's two bandits crouched by a campfire cooking it's meat.

So I pull out my Enfield and let a round fly, bandit one down. As bandit two sees his friend fall dead right infront of him, he gets up and begins panicking. I couldn't help but smile as I let my 2nd round fly into his chest with him running around like a chicken with it's head cut off.

Right before I let off the kill shot, he tried one less desperate attempt by typing in "sotoyp!"

I believe he was going for stop ;) Oh well.

When I got down to there bodies, I was greeted with a frag grenade, ALICE packs, AK74U, Hunting Knife, Map, etc. All the essentials.

It was a great day.

[grezvany13 56]

My story: "The Stupid Bandit"

I was playing during the night when my friends where already disconnected. I was in need of some supplies and was sneaking through Cherno looking for some loot.

At some point I entered a multi story building which had some windows and while I checked outside from the second floor I suddenly got shot in the chest. Without hesitation I dropped to the ground, went inside a room and applied first aid.

While taking a breath I heard shooting at the first floor although I remained silent, since I figured it might be the same guy who shot me. So I waited till the poor bastard walk by and shot him in the head (since he was a bandit afterall).

The guy started to shout at the chat that I was a hacker, since he saw my kill notice. Luckily for me it was someone else who got killed at the same time he shot me.

So, he ended up dead, and I ended up with some nice gear ;)

[CER10TY 3]

Well' date=' I've been turned into a bandit for various reasons, but I still dislike them because I know for myself at least, I don't randomly kill people. So here's a bandit hunting story.

I was playing DayZ, and my friend was watching because I was showing him the mod. I was walking towards Elektro along the treelines, sticking away from any easily seen area, making sure to keep an eye out on the long stretch of land to the coast below me. I scout out a goat along the way, but being void of a hunting knife, it's useless to me.

I move for about a minute longer and hear a gunshot. My friend says "Dude they probably killed that goat." As I get closer to the edge of the trees, sure enough, there's two bandits crouched by a campfire cooking it's meat.

So I pull out my Enfield and let a round fly, bandit one down. As bandit two sees his friend fall dead right infront of him, he gets up and begins panicking. I couldn't help but smile as I let my 2nd round fly into his chest with him running around like a chicken with it's head cut off.

Right before I let off the kill shot, he tried one less desperate attempt by typing in "sotoyp!"

I believe he was going for stop ;) Oh well.

When I got down to there bodies, I was greeted with a frag grenade, ALICE packs, AK74U, Hunting Knife, Map, etc. All the essentials.

It was a great day.

[/quote']

I loved that story. It always seems like I'm so lonely when I play alone, but this just encouraged me to play alone :P

[pieeyedsniper 25]

I was Lurking through the woods just on the edge of a small town. When I noticed some wise guy trailing me. I though t to go into town and wait him out.

When I thought the coast was clear I jetted across the road, only to hear the sound of a bullet miss me by inches. When I turned around to return fire all i could do was laugh. Dumb fucker aggro'd 4 zeds and got munched. while he was bleeding out I put 2 in his head and dropped said Zs.

Thanks for the frag, map & ammo dick skin.

[Sachaztan 1]

Speaking of dumb fuckers...

Me and 2 mates were moving in the forest west of cherno, heading for balota, when suddenly a bullet hits me in the arm. I dart to cover but one of my mates takes one to his chest, drops down with low blood and bleeds out.

I apply first aid, morphine and painkillers and then inch my way out of cover to see what the fuck just happened. Turns out there's this idiot STANDING in the middle of the field south of us. He must have spawned in with his cz and started firing at us for the lulz or something.

I quickly kill him with my AKM, the 2nd mate loots his corpse and the one that died gets back and loots his gear back.

[Displaced (DayZ) 0]

I lured a group of them chasing me in a car into a infested town.

They hopped out and I threw a smoke grenade at them attracting a sizeable horde.

I never looked back at them.

[th3tech 0]

MORE STORIES! This is really giving me a good time at work!

[Duskling 1]

moar!