Your funniest moment in Dayz

[StayAlive (DayZ) 169]

Mine was some time ago when i was showing my nephew what Dayz is all about:

 

I was tracking along the outskirts of Cherno while talking about how bandits

are camping the main cities. Just as i told him about how it is safer to scope the

large cities out before moving in, i get a black screen. Dead! I felt pride leaving my body;)

Edited February 17, 2014 by StayAlive

[Blades421 66]

Me and my firend eneter berenzino, with only one other player on the map....so what are the chances lol. i meet him at the construction yard and we head to the grocery store and whata ya know...there is the other player hahaha he runs at my friend with his axe and gets shot point blank in the head but lived....i see him run to the front so i go around and meet him and shoot him once in the chest with my sks and he runs right by me bleeding like a fountain. So i chase him down and put about 10 pistol shots into his back and he became frozen on the spot, i mean he stood still and stopped bleeding lol. so i run up and put the last few into him and the mother fucker finally dies. i was laughing so hard the entire time!

 

the panic and how sloppy the situation was, was funny as hell.

Edited February 17, 2014 by Blades421

[cywehner1234 582]

I was in the middle of the airstrip at balota and I was gear'd, and I saw a fresh spawn running at me naked. So he just kept running toward me in the funniest stance ever and the funniest song ever was playing. I proceeded to remove all my gear, and run naked with him and we ran together. Eventually we both got shot by douches, but oh well. I died of laughing when he ran past me playing that music.

[larsehh_ 53]

This happened to me and my friend few days ago in middle of night playing on a relatively small server. I dont know if I should cry or laugh at it but it's one of those moments I will remember for long time and something to tell to your grandchildren! :)

 

So, at the time there was basically 5 players on server including us. The three other guys were from same Clan, tagged [Fear]. One of them was called BorisB but cant remember the other two.

So me and my friend Qunzing, we know each other way back, I guess close to 10 years, wow, d2, d3 and other games we played together. We were checking the military camp in Zelenogorsk and we were heading towards to the small town next to the military hopsital faciilt camp. In the grass fields outside Zelenogorsk I suddenly hear lot of gunshots, which one was clearly a SKS and I yell at my friend on TeamSpeak server if it was him shooting at me or what the fuck was going on. Snce it was really late time for us, I guess around 2 in th enight our local time I was tired and wasnt scouting the grassfields ahead. Anyway I take a shot in legs, I dont break any legs though or start bleeding but I could almost see in front of me tha I'm going to die at any second from now. I take my fists out an run downhill, trying o run slalom and avoid more bullets. I think I get hit once more and I start bleeding. Under a bush I finally decide it's time to bandage myself. I do that, the bullets are still floating around me but luckily I dont get hit anymore.

5 seconds pass and suddenly the shooting stop. I'm filled with adrenaline, I still dont know what is going on, where I got shot but my friend Qunzing speaks on TeamSpeak that he just killed 3 guys that were clumped up, 2 of them in the head and emptied at least another 60 bullets on the third one. I'm still dafuq just happened and a mintue later I calm down and go check the corpses.

 

There they are, 3 extremely geared guys with m4, SKS etc, small protector case in another one with tons of other usefull stuff, so yeah very geared, laying dead next to each other on the open field. So what happened - my friend Qunzing was all the time abit behind me and he was not spotted by these guys so he could take them out one by one. From his point of view he told me he had lot of fun, also he didnt really understand what was going on. He also had asked me on TS if I was next to 2 other guys etc.

 

We usually dont KOS people unless we are getting fired at but I guess this time the luck was on our side and we shouldnt really have come out aive from this. I was really lucky with those 3 guys being bad shooters or I was just running in a perfect way to avoid most of the bullets. For at least 30 minutes after the shooting took place we still couldnt figre out what just happened. It just didnt happen. I feel sorry for those other 3 [FEAR] clan members, we could have all come out alive of this if they just would try to contact us before shooting. And afterall, you did ruin my pants and everything inside it!!!

 

But the story doesnt end here. As I believe there is always kharma involved in everything. I was supposed to die. I did it later that early morning or next day - from a glitchy ladder, but I wasnt even angry at the ladder. There is kharma and it's a bitch! :)

 

And yeah, coming back to my friend Qunzing, my biggest hero at that moment. I always tend to fuck up and so did I this time. It was probably 4 in the morning and before the ladder got me we visited Balota airfield to gear him up abit more. We both were tired and when we both went up to the ATC tower in the Airfield I managed to push him off the ATC tower so he died. The server reset few mintues later, all his stuff was lost. Only I, manage to do fucked up things like this :) Also to mention about Zelenogork earlier that night, 2 minutes after the guys died, the server reset, so we didnt get much out from their items.

 

Sorry for this wall of text and probably some grammatical errors. But this is my and Qunzing small story. This is what I love about his game and wants me to keep going!

[jbox88 27]

Though many this one is by far the best - 

 

When first starting the game I was checking a construction site for any loot at the top floor. A guy ran into me and immediately ran down stairs yelling "Don't kill me! I'm friendly! Friendly! Friendly!" while screaming I responded "Don't worry bro, I got a little extra food and there is a backpack up here if you want it"....He came back up stairs swinging a fire axe, I immediately yelled "CEASE AND DESIST! CEASE AND DESIST! AHHHHHH" running for dear life....My toon happened to be a girl so I said "You wouldn't kill a women would you!!!!???" He of course responded, "You're obviously a guy, feel my wrath" (valid point), but I turned around to watch him fall off the stairs and break both legs.... a zombie at that point ran up and hit him so I killed the zombie and he didn't have bandages. I offered to heal him if he took off his pants, drop the axe and said sorry....

 

He took off his pants along with the axe and I handcuffed him, bandaged him up and said "see that wasn't so hard, was it!". He then thanked me and as I walked away I realized, I didn't have a key to uncuff him. I told him "oops" and he said "what?", my final response was "oh nothing, lets get you out of those handcuffs....."*as I equipped the axe*.....

[krebsy 11]

Just this morning I did "Epic Stupid" at the military base south of Kabanino/Vybor.  I'd spent a few nights play walking all the way over from the west coast, dodging zombies and players plus slowly upgrading all my kit etc.  When I got there, the base hadn't been touched so I loaded up on some military gear, helmet, large backpack and an m4, plus all the odds and ends I could carry. 

 

  Doing a final check I saw a bottle of disinfectant which when clicking on it, rather than it going into my pack (which was full), I proceeded to down it and immediately start puking up.

 

  Shit...  So sodding stupid.  :). 

 

  Luckilly I had two carbon tablets and a stack of food and water so I kept on moving south to Soznovka, all grey screen and puking up all the way, stuffing my face with water, soda and beans en route.

 

  Cheking online, what I'd done was apparently incurable ( :( ) but slowly over 3 hours I managed to nurse myself back to health by the time I reached Zelenogorsk....

 

  K.

[Jrein476 3]

I not sure this is the funniest thing that happen but in my case the most embarrassing.  The story starts back when DAY Z had the patch that brought us the shotgun.  I was scavenging with my friend and he found one and some slugs for it.  He of course had to try it out.  It made some noise.  Anyway a few days later we were waiting for my other friend to meet us at a location and I had happened to find a mosin rifle to replace his shotgun.  We traded weapons and I had never used or held the shotgun.  I picked it up and to my horror I accidently shot it off.  Now the gun was pointed to the ground but I guess I was close enough to him that I blew off his legs.  He got the black screen.  I had nothing to revive him.  We could not even scavenge his body because anything useful was destroyed.

 

Well my buddies laughed at the situation and myself.  I apologized but felt awful for running a gaming night with my stupidity.   

[SurvivorAndy 15]

So, this is the first time I ever log on to the DayZ mod. Only one of my friends is still up - I've heard all the stuff they've done while I've been in calls, and I know he's loaded up really well. I spawn and end up appearing right by Elektro, with my friend up on the hill by me. He scares the shit out of me making me think I'm being attacked, until he owns up and says it's him coming towards me. It's pitch black, and there's one other person on the server.

We head into Elektro, while he teaches me about zombie aggro ranges, stealth and looting. I get an M4A1 with a load of ammo in the fire station, which I'm told is really good. We loot afew more places and eventually I'm sporting some amazing gear. We get to the shop, and I stay low. I'm terrified still, those nerves you always got beginning DayZ. He tells me I can stand up - there's only one other person on the server and he promises me he'll be anywhere but here, "probably up north somewhere". I'm looking around the shop, and we find some more food. He tells me we need to go, and walks towards the door. He has some sweet gear; a military sniper, ghillie, nvg, another gun in his pack and he's stocked with food. He gets one more step with all that loot when a shot rings out, and blood fountains from his face and I'm sprayed in my friends blood. I stand there in shock as blood spews from his corpse onto me, until another shot goes right past me. I've absoloutly shat myself, I'm terrified. I run back into the store as he verbally grimaces in the Skype call. I sit there considering getting his gear for ten minutes until he tells me it's not worth it, so I log off.

My first twenty minutes in the game and I see my endgame friend die without so much as a warning, on a server with one other person.

 

 

I have way more stories if you guys want to hear it, including a standalone habit of euthanasia.

[Fflint 22]

Salvation City had a heli full of gear and my friend crashed it cause of a bush on the ground!!!

Edited February 23, 2014 by Fflint

[Killawife 599]

Teh funniest moment I remember was quite a while ago. I was newly spawned outside berezino and had onyl a Fire axe for protection. I snuck into town and hear lots of shooting. I went into a house and went upstairs and come upon two guys looting a bleeding corpse. They don't see me but I'm afraid to attack them as I only have the axe so I go downstairs and move a few houses over. I go into a room there and hear someone moving below me so I close the door and ready my Axe. I'm pretty sure one of those camoed bastards will burst in with his M4 and RATATATATAT! when the door opens. I strike with my trusty axe brainbiter, hard and true......and hit a bambi square in the head. He drops like a log and I'm like Sorry dude sorry and I bandage him with my t-shirt. I have nothing else so i sit there and wait. After a while he wakes up so we talk for a bit. Then we charge the guys in the house next door with our axes and are promptly shot down. The end.

[IronCross 78]

The first time the drink all bug randomly knocked my char down.

[Kaupang 5]

There are quite a few funny moments, but I'll just pick the one I remember best.

 

I was in Zelenogorsk and found a guy looting. He didn't have much more than an axe and a backpack, so I decided to do some "reverse banditry".

 

After holding him up, handcuffing him and putting a burlap sack over his head so he couldn't see, I placed a vest, food, M4 with mags, ttsko jacket and a LRS on his body. I then told him I would't kill him and how to break out, and then ran into the woods to watch his reaction with my LRS as he broke the handcuffs and removed the sack.

As expected he finally broke out and seemed quite puzzled. Don't think he had every had an M4 before and was new to the game, because he quickly started shooting and testing it. His shots quickly attracted zombies and he was jumped by 6 (!!!) of them. Don't know how, but even with the M4 he was knocked out and killed before my eyes.

So much for enjoying his new gear! So I was back to carrying two weapons again.

Edited August 17, 2014 by Kaupang

[James Hawke 114]

 Don't know how, but even with the M4 he was knocked out and killed before my eyes.

 

Ahahah, such a waste :D Good for a laugh though...

 

I think my funniest moment was a work of sheer stupidity. Me and my friend were going through Devil's Castle, up in the tower... my friend walked down the stairs and suddenly he was like "Uh... I'm dead..."

I tried to tell him that he has to be careful with the narrow stairs in the tower - I hadn't quite finished as I made one wrong step and fell to my death as well. It was quite hilarious actually...

[d-angelo 1]

This may not seem so funny, but let's go:

From my days of DayZ mod, I was known as "the medic" (ps: not my "nick"). I usually used a bicycle to travel across Chernarus to aid people (global chat) who needed help ; blood, food, medicine, etc etc.

As I became a great resource for the server, I got a good reputation. Some of the guys helped me secure a fully functional helicopter, so that I could get to people faster. I was pretty humbled by this act. I did some test runs with these friends of mine and learned to pilot the heli using the "cheat button" (hover?).

Some guy required assistance and I jumped in my heli; first save of the day. I flew up into the air and set the coordinates. The guy had gotten his legs broken near a heli site and needed quick relief. I sped towards his position, but as I came within looking distance, I accidentaly over-momented my mouse and the heli spun out of control. I ended up crashing the brand new helicopter into the poor guy, immediately killing us both. Haven't flown since.

[James Hawke 114]

From my days of DayZ mod, I was known as "the medic" (ps: not my "nick"). I usually used a bicycle to travel across Chernarus to aid people (global chat) who needed help ; blood, food, medicine, etc etc.

 

Oh my... what a story xD

I've tried being on the 'medic team' with a friend once in the mod. It didn't work out. We drove around the map in a convoy, we had a truck, loaded to the brim with medical supplies, a bus with some more, and the bus was pulling a car in good condition, in case anyone needed it. We didn't get far. Someone put a bullet in our bus and a tire broke. Quickly enough my friend got out, got into the truck and we drove off - The sniper didn't get us or our truck, but our bus and the car behind that. It was a pity, really - I'm never doing that again.

Edited August 18, 2014 by James Hawke

[malcom x 1]

Me and my friends camp the garages (with 3 or more storages spaces to open) if we catch some on we will them not to peak and we hide in the garages...if he opens the wrong door we murder him with what ever weapon is in our hand..if he chooses a storage with no one in it, we give him a prize and send him on his way

[TheEZ3L 0]

Actually, i was camping Military Base hospital roof, some 2 guys passed, Quickscoped em (yeah i did it :D)

After i killed them, i full drank a canteen to  celebrate before i go to loot them, ended up i fell on the ground and randomly started to slide forward, when my body kept sliding like a glitched noclipping zombie corpse, i fell off the roof, died.

[MrBigD 9]

Being kidnapped by a psycho,handcuffed and constantly got shot in the dick and bandaged...once he shoot twice,and after loosing too much blood,i died[thanks to god]

[LimeMobber 47]

Just happened yesterday.

 

Chased by a zombie while bleeding into the Piano House and then upstairs. Turn around and finally kill the zombie and then start to bandage myself. Now my character is about 15 minutes old, has a baseball bat, upgraded pants that are now ruined and a checked shirt that is badly damaged.

 

Just as I finish bandaging two guys charge up the stairs one with an axe the other with a crowbar, both are wearing motorcycle helmets. I am still kneeling and as I stand I swing at axe guy. hit him straight in the face, helmet goes to ruined and he goes down never to get back up.

 

After that it is a five minute dance with the other guy with me occasionally also smashing the guy who is down in the head, he never gets back up so don't know if dead or just very unconscious. After 5 minutes that see my clothing get ruined and my opponents gear get also ruined he finally knocks me unconscious and then kills me.

 

Yep, I lost a 15 minute old character and two guys get all of their gear ruined, one of them may have been killed, both were bleeding quite a bit, and their reward for this epic victory in this ambush?

 

One worn out baseball bat. ;-)

[Bad Company 140]

Couple'o days ago, teaching a friend how to play the game. He's at the topmost part of the Novo town hall, and standing at the edge. He then asks how I did the sitting-down position, and eyeing an opportunity I tell him that he has to press "V"...

[Finchtastic 50]

Being kidnapped by a psycho,handcuffed and constantly got shot in the dick and bandaged...once he shoot twice,and after loosing too much blood,i died[thanks to god]

Was this on youtube?  I swear I've seen this haha

[MrBigD 9]

Same guy,named Khan,but no,i wasn't PsiSyndicate :) He's the one that uploaded video to youtube,i didn't record it,but it was the same guy[pretty sure]
 

[Finchtastic 50]

So my buddy and I were looting Novo on our way west from Svetlo in the tall, Empire state looking building.  There were only one or two other people on the map, so we figured we were good  (which is usually NEVER the case when you think that lol).  We go upstairs and I'm looting a floor when i hear my buddy describe how he's just been chopped by an axe while he was looking at something on the ground.  I start sneaking upstairs with my rifle drawn, sure enough I see a foot sticking out from the stairs on my way up, there's my dead friend.  I slowly round the corner see him and quickly dispose of him.  My friend respawned only about4 minutes outside of Novo, so I wait for him in the stair well with my rifle drawn for anyone else.  I see a guy with an axe poke out from the stairs, so I ask my friend where he's at...He says he's running through a field, I assumed it was the soccer field in the south of town.  It was THE SAME GUY, he apparently also spawned quite close.  So I tell him if he comes up those stairs I'm gonna shoot him in the face.  He started running down the stairs and I shot him anyway.  He turned around and chopped me unconscious...LOL.  My buddy got there and killed him and patched me up, I was lucky, but what are the chances that my buddy and this guy would both spawn that close?

[Sula 1205]

Creeping slowly and oh so very quietly through a village. Checking to my left, checking to my right, tip tip tippy toeing so no one could see me. And getting shot in the head by some guy standing right behind me.  Lessen learned - look behind you.  <_<

[Jakaali 1]

Not so funny but it made me feel good, I spawned in town near NEAF went to restraunt to find some loot and well well, found an axe. I scout from window and i see one poor looking guy running in the streets with his axe. Then two mean looking guys appeared and started to approach poor fella with their axes. I watched for awhile but then I decided to even the odds and helping the poor guy to get away. I took axe to head and died, dont know if the guy who I tried to help managed to get away.