DayZ is a government elderly training program

[blurhitz 244]

Think about it. They want to train us to take care of old people in the future. 

 

"I feel hungry"

"I feel thirsty"

"My head hurts"

"I feel exhausted"

"In my age, there weren't that many bandits"

 

It all makes sense now.

[heyguy_72 10]

hmmm maybe NO?!

Edited January 3, 2014 by HeyGuy_72

[ZedsDeadBaby 2287]

I gambled on a fart and now my diaper needs changing.

 

I think that Spanish lady stole one of the pieces to my jigsaw puzzle.

 

Help yourself to a mint, they're on the coffee table.

[IkaikaKekai 1957]

This does not bode well for the old folks.

"I'm hungry..."

"I JUST FED YOU SOME GOD DAMN BEANS OLD MAN!  SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"Shoulda had that vasectomy ya little bastard."

"FINE, FUCK!" *grabs a funnel and a can of beans, dumping it down the old mans throat, then gets a water hose and turns it on, leaving the old man alone*